How to Thrive in Sales and Client Management with the Diamond Rule

HOW TO THRIVE IN SALES
AND CLIENT MANAGEMENT
THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX
BOOK PREVIEW

SALES CHALLENGE: CLOSING LESS THAN 25% OF OPPORTUNITIES
1 OF 4
The average close rate across all industries sits around 19%.
Source: https://www.propellercrm.com/blog/sales-benchmark-rates
*
*

CLIENT MANAGEMENT CHALLENGE:
LOSING MORE THAN 25%
OF CLIENTS EACH YEAR1 OF 4 *
*According to Mixpanel's 2017 Product Benchmarks
report, for most industries, the average customer
retention rate was below 20%.

SOLUTION:
SEE AND DO THINGS
DIFFERENTLY
UPGRADE YOUR HUMANWARE

“The real voyage of
discovery consists not in
seeking new landscapes,
but in having new eyes.”
- Marcel Proust

Quit school in the
10th grade
In 1983, a 15-year-old Boris Becker
quit school to play professional
tennis. The tall (6’3”) fiery, red-
haired German boasted a cannon
for a serve.
CASE IN POINT:

Youngest man to ever
win a Grand Slam
Two years later the unseeded
German bested South African
Kevin Curran in four sets to
win Wimbledon.

Quit school in
the 10th grade
In 1986, Andre Agassi would also, like Becker, quit school in the 10th grade to
play tennis professionally. In the summer of 1986, Agassi would make his splash
in men’s tennis. The 5’10” Las Vegas native brought a lethal forehand, rock star
hair and a flamboyant fashion style that turned heads.

TOP 10 RANKING
Within 18 months, Agassi would be
closing in on a Top 10 ranking. In
1988 and 1989, Becker and Agassi
would meet three times on the court.
Each time Becker dominated Agassi,
winning easily in straight sets with his
powerful serve—a serve Agassi
described, “the likes of which the
game had never seen before.”

6-3, 6-1 at Madison Square Garden
The third consecutive loss was a 6-1, 6-3 drubbing
at the year end Masters Event in New York City.

Looking to solve the problem and reverse course, a
frustrated Agassi began to watch tapes of Becker.
He paid attention to his serving motion. It paid off as
Agassi noticed a small tick. Just before Becker
tossed the ball he would stick his tongue out. His
tongue would either be in the middle of his lip or the
left corner of his mouth. The position of his tongue
would indicate where the ball was going. When
standing to right and serving to the left deuce court,
the tongue in the left corner would indicate a wide
serve. His tongue in the middle of his mouth was a
serve down the middle or into the body.

9 OF THE NEXT 10 MATCHES
Agassi would use this insight in his next match against Becker just four months later in Indian Wells, It
worked brilliantly. He beat Becker handily 6-4, 6-1 in the semifinals. This small insight allowed Andre
to react faster and position himself in the right place at critical pressure-filled points in the match. Over
the next nine years, the pair would square off another 10 times. Agassi would win nine of those 10
matches.

The Agassi/Becker story is an apt
metaphor for sales and client
management. If you can see business
through a new lens as the ultimate
game, you can wire yourself for
winning. The Diamond Goldfish book
challenges you to see sales and the
process of developing relationships in
a new way using THE DIAMOND
RULE.

MANAGING
RELATIONSHIPS
THRIVE IN BUSINESS
The Diamond Goldfish is about sales
and managing client relationships.
Co-authored by Stan Phelps, Travis
Carson and Tony Cooper, it is based
on the Diamond Rule and it is
powered by Market Force principles.

OK, so why a Diamond?
We believe a diamond symbolizes
the best future approach to
achieving prosperity in business.
Acting in accordance with the
Diamond Rule is the next evolution
of managing relationships and
thriving in sales. It’s the 4.0 version
of winning in business. Let’s look at
1.0, 2.0, and the 3.0 versions for
background:

“Do no harm”
Version 1.0 - The Silver Rule is “do no
harm.” As stated by Zigong, a disciple of
Confucius, in the book Analects, “What I
do not wish others to do unto me, I also
wish not to do unto others.”
1.0

FOUNDATIONAL
It is a foundational idea. The
problem with the Silver Rule is
that it’s not prescriptive. It
doesn’t tell you how to treat
others. It merely shares what
not to do. It’s not a bad start.

Case in point: Beginning in 2000, Google
famously coined “Don’t be evil” as part of the
company’s corporate code of conduct.

“Do onto others as you’d
Version 2.0 - Throughout nearly every
culture and religion the Golden Rule
has become [no pun intended] the
gold standard of human dynamics.
The Golden Rule is simply “treating
others the way you would like to be
treated.” From a moral perspective,
this approach seems reasonable, even
admirable, and can represent the
baseline perspective for raising and
teaching children (for example).
2.0
have done onto you”

FOUNDATIONAL
INWARD
If the Silver Rule deals in what not
to do, the Golden Rule broadens it
to all situations. It is more inward in
its approach to relationships.

1 OUT OF 4Unfortunately, in sales and managing relationships,
the Golden Rule is a bad rule. Here’s why: In most
sales organizations, an acceptable conversion rate is
about 25 percent, which means that only one out of
every four opportunities converts into a sale. Because
you were taught to follow the Golden Rule, it’s fair to
assume you know what your clients want based on
what you would want if you were them. Unfortunately,
just looking at the conversion rates tells us that there’s
an issue. If anything else in our businesses was failing
75 percent of the time, we would immediately look for
ways to improve. Not everybody wants the same thing
or to be treated the same way. We always assume
that if something is good for us then it must be good
for everyone else. With four predominant behavioral
styles, you have only a 1 our of 4 chance of
connecting with your prospect or client.

Treat others the way they
would like to be treated”3.0
Version 3.0 - The Platinum Rule The next level of the Golden Rule was popularized by
Dr. Tony Alessandra in 1996. It simply is “treating others the way that they want to be
treated.” Grounded in emotional intelligence, the Platinum Rule asks you to
accommodate the feelings of others. The Platinum Rule is more outward facing in its
approach. The focus shifts from “this is what I want, so I’ll give everyone the same thing”
to “let me first understand what they want . . . and then I’ll give it to them.”
3.0

INWARD
FOUNDATIONAL
OUTWARD
One of the challenges when
completely focusing on the other
person is that we can overlook how
we’re feeling and reacting to a
situation. For example, we may go into
a meeting with the best of intentions to
apply the Platinum Rule, but then
something happens where we feel
upset or disrespected or unheard, and
then our capability to actually apply
the Platinum Rule is interrupted.
Therefore, while the Platinum Rule is
aspirational, we must also be true to
ourselves and neutralize our biology in
order to be capable of addressing the
needs of others.

“Everyone has a plan . . .
until they get punched
in the mouth”
Treating someone the way they want to
be treated is tricky enough under
normal circumstances—but what
happens when things start to get
heated? In the immortal words of
former boxing heavyweight champion
Mike Tyson, “Everyone has a plan until
they get punched in the mouth.”

The 4.0 Diamond Rule combines
the best of Gold and Platinum
1.0
2.0
3.0

Managing yourself under pressure and addressing
the needs of others to avoid their triggers”
4.0
The Diamond Rule takes the Platinum Rule to the next level. The key here is
understanding both our own biology as well as that of our prospects/customers.
“

INWARD
FOUNDATIONAL
OUTWARD
NEUTRALIZE
EMPHATHIZE
FOUNDATIONAL
Why is the Diamond Rule so critical in
sales and managing relationships?
The answer is simple. Sales and client management is
inherently full of pressure. Pressure can make things
unstable. You need to manage yourself and your
prospect/client through these difficult situations.

Practicing the Diamond Rule
requires two elements:
1) you have to see your own
predictable behavioral style when
pressure hits, and
2) you need the capability to assess
prospects/clients relative to four
different, predictable behavioral
styles based primarily on how
people respond biologically to
pressure.

Average Goldfish
=
3 inches
The origin of the goldfish as a symbol dates back
to 2009 when it became the signature of this book
series. The goldfish represents something small
that can make a big difference. It turns out that
the average goldfish is just over 3 inches. That’s
about the size of your thumb.

Nearly 20 inches
Yet the longest in the world is just under 20 inches.
That’s more than six times the average size.

1Their Growth is Affected by 5 Factors:
How can there be such a disparity between your garden-variety
goldfish and its monster cousins? It turns out that the growth of
the goldfish is determined by five factors. And those same five
factors also relate to the growth of any business or salesperson.
The same thing applies to sales. Some salespeople are average,
some below average, and some perform at multiples of the
average. Let’s unpack the five factors:

1
1. SIZE OF THE BOWL = MARKET
The first growth factor for a goldfish is the
SIZE OF THE ENVIRONMENT they are in.
The size of the bowl or pond is one
determinant of how much they will grow.
In business, this is the MARKET.

1
2
2. NUMBER OF OTHER GOLDFISH =

1
2
2. NUMBER OF OTHER GOLDFISH = COMPETITION
The second growth factor for a
goldfish is the NUMBER OF
OTHER GOLDFISH in the
environment. This is an inverse
correlation. In business, this is
your COMPETITION.

3. QUALITY OF THE WATER = ECONOMY
The third growth factor is the QUALITY OF
THE WATER that the goldfish is in. Nutrients
and cloudiness in the water will impact the
growth of a goldfish. In business, this is the
ECONOMY.

4
24. FIRST 120 DAYS = START-UP OR NEW PRODUCT
The fourth growth factor for a
goldfish is how they’re treated in
the FIRST 120 DAYS of life. The
nourishment and treatment they
receive as babies are keys to
future growth. In business, this is
when you are a START-UP.

5. GENETIC MAKE-UP = DIFFERENTIATION
The fifth and final growth factor
for a goldfish is GENETIC
MAKEUP. The strength of its
genetics will determine future
growth. In business, this is
DIFFERENTIATION.

1. MARKET
2. COMPETITION
3. ECONOMY
4. START-UP
5. DIFFERENTIATION
QUESTION
WHICH FACTORS CAN YOU CONTROL IN SALES?
Assuming you’ve already been in business for more than
four months, do you have any control over the market,
your competition, or the economy? NO, NO, and NO.

1. MARKET
2. COMPETITION
3. ECONOMY
4. START-UP
5. DIFFERENTIATION
The only thing you have control over is your genetic makeup or how you
differentiate what you do and how you do it. In sales, how do you stand out
in a sea of sameness? In terms of differentiation, sales typically come down
not to your technical expertise, but how you make someone feel. Technical
expertise gets you the meeting; the ability to effectively manage the
relationship wins you the business.

RECAP
A Diamond Goldfish is the process of
differentiating yourself in business by
managing yourself under pressure and
addressing the needs of others to
reduce their triggers.
DIAMOND = PRESSURE
GOLDFISH = DIFFERENTIATION

What if you could improve retention
by just 5 percentage points? Gartner
has shown that bottom-line profit will
increase between 25% and 125%.
CAN LITTLE THINGS MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE?
What if you could improve your close
rate by 5 to 15 percentage points? Based
on an average close rate of 19%, your
sales will increase between 27% and 79%.

”A diamond is just a
chunk of coal that did
well under pressure.”
- Henry Kissinger

TO EXCEL, WE NEED
TO UNDERSTAND
HOW OUR BRAIN
WORKS UNDER
PRESSURE

THE BRAIN IN 3 PARTS
AMYGDALA
1. Amygdala - The most primitive part of the
brain is called the amygdala. It’s about the
size of an almond and sits at the base of the
brain stem. It is the first part of the brain that
forms, and its primary role is to act as a
human highlighter—a radar that constantly
scans the environment. The amygdala’s
primary role is to look for anything in our
lives that could be a threat to our existence.
Fun fact: The amygdala is sometimes
referred to as the “lizard brain” because
it’s the only part of the brain a reptile has.

AMYGDALA
LIMBIC
SYSTEM
2. Limbic System - The amygdala
resides inside the wider limbic
system, the area of our brain
responsible for our basic drive for
things such as hunger, sex,
dominance, and caring for offspring.
It’s also the place where we
experience emotions, moods, and
motivation, and where instinct
originates. The limbic system
maintains the storage area for our
long-term memory. This explains
why many of our memories tend to
be more emotionally based than
factual. Finally, the limbic system
helps with bodily functions, such as
heart rate, pupil dilation, and the
regulation of our sweat glands.

AMYGDALA
NEO-CORTEX
LIMBIC SYSTEM
3.0 Neocortex - The outermost layer of
the brain is the neocortex. It is the
largest and most complex part of the
human brain. The neocortex is
involved with all higher functions such
as sensory perception, spatial
reasoning, language, and complex
thought. It’s where things like art,
science, and culture live within us. You
could argue that the neocortex is the
thing that makes us uniquely human.
That is, until the moment we
experience pressure.

In a moment of perceived risk, your amygdala senses the threat and
lights up your limbic system. The limbic system then triggers your
heart to start racing, makes your breath get shallow, or causes you
to break out in a sweat. Some permutation of survival begins.
Meanwhile, your neocortex is being told by your body: “Hey, take a
seat on the sidelines.” Using public speaking as an example, think
about what happens when you stand up in front of a room to speak.
Mark Twain made light of this when he said, “There are only two
types of speakers in this world. The nervous . . . and the liars.”
CASE IN POINT:

REAL VS. PERCEIVED THREAT
While we humans are advanced beings living
in a modern world, it turns out we are still
operating on fairly primitive biology. And
under pressure, that biology predictably runs
our hard-wired survival strategy every time
it detects a threat.

“According to most studies,
people's number one fear is
public speaking. Number
two is death. Death is
number two. Does that
sound right? This means to
the average person, if you
go to a funeral, you're
better off in the casket than
doing the eulogy.”
- Jerry Seinfeld

SURVIVAL INSTINCTS
Real Pressure
(Life-or-Death Risk)
Amygdala Survival
Response
(Habits to Save Our Lives)
Not Real Pressure
(Identity Risk)
Neocortex Response to
Handle Identity Risk
(Practices to Employ the
Diamond Rule)
USE THE RIGHT PART OF THE BRAIN TO RESPOND TO PRESSURE

DICTATE
FOUR SURVIVAL STRATEGIES
Let’s simplify survival behavior by observing how
other animals react when facing threatening
situations so we can learn about ourselves at core
level.
Some species just have a way of taking charge of
their situation. When faced with pressure, they tend
to take control and tackle the threat head-on.
Animals such as rhinos, sharks, and lions will attack
any animal that tries to move in on their territory.
While other animals, such as beavers, are prone to
manipulate their environment through actions like
cutting down trees, building dams, and re- routing
water. These approaches fall under the heading of
“Dictate” because, in the face of pressure, these
animals take control and force the situation into an
outcome that they intend.

DICTATE
MIGRATE
Some species know that their best
chance for survival is to move away
from pressure so they flee the threats
posed by other animals or by the
change in seasons, and they’re built to
outrun, outmaneuver, or out-travel the
threat. Some examples of animals that
use this strategy are deer, antelope,
and, of course, birds. Whales also
travel thousands of miles every year,
literally following the same paths their
ancestors have taken for generations,
as they look to influence their
surroundings and move to safer
territory to avoid danger.

DICTATE
MIGRATE
TOLERATE
Still other species survive by simply
outworking and outlasting the threat they
face, relying on innate survival
characteristics such as protection or
disguise. The thick coat of a buffalo insulates
it throughout the winter, while a porcupine
has tens of thousands of quills that keep
predators at bay. Think about a spider—
even after you knock down its web multiple
times, it keeps building it back in the hopes
of catching prey. These types of
characteristics allow species like this to
power through adversity and endure the
situation to survive.

DICTATE
MIGRATE
TOLERATE
HIBERNATE
A number of animals survive by pulling
back from their environment, mitigating
risk as they do so. Tortoises can safely
retract into their shells in the face of a
threat. Animals such as bears, rodents,
and snakes have the ability to slow their
metabolism, allowing them to sleep for
extended periods of time during the cold,
dark winter months when food is scarce.

FOUR BEHAVIORAL STYLES
When humans are under pressure, we are prone to acting very
much like reptiles and animals. Once our biology gets triggered,
we automatically employ one of these same four survival
strategies to manage pressure.

ARE YOU A
CONTROL, INFLUENCE,
POWER OR AUTHORITY?
Each Diamond Goldfish
book comes with a
complimentary
Market Force Styles
Indicator Assessment.

CONTROL
Controls are strong-willed, independent-
thinkers who are focused on the big
picture. They seek certainty, are future-
oriented and pretty sure their ideas are
right. Controls don’t often have a lot of
time for chit chat but they do love telling
other people what to do.

INFLUENCE
Enthusiastic, talkative and stimulating,
Influences are go, go, go! They keep
things moving and are often the most
fun person in the room, able to create
relationships quickly and easily.
Influences crave freedom, so they tend
to come up with out-of-the-box ideas.

POWER
Powers are diligent and dependable,
naturals at building long-lasting
relationships. Their near-term focus and
production mindset drives them to take
on lots of tasks, making sure sure all of
the work gets done. Powers are often
the glue holding teams together.

AUTHORITY
Authorities stand for quality and hate
wasting time and money. They are
rational, disciplined and orderly with an
unmatched attention to detail. They
identify areas for improvement and
always make sure that their teams are
working on the right things.

M.I.N.E. FOR DIAMONDS
Diamonds are truly valuable and
you won’t just find them laying
around ready to pick up. You have
to go searching for them and you
have to uncover where they are
hidden. Once you know your own
style, you are ready to begin
applying the Diamond Rule with
your prospects/clients.

M
I
N
E
INDSET
DENTIFY
EUTRALIZE
MPATHIZE
To avoid falling into the Golden Rule trap,
here are your four “What” questions (your
Mining Checklist) for applying the Diamond
Rule:
1. [Mindset] What Style am I dealing with?
2. [Identify] What is the situation?
3. [Neutralize] What do I need to do to set
aside my Style?
4. [Empathize] What are my tactics?

“____________________ is the ability or the
empathy to perceive all that’s around you.
The more you understand what the
___________ through other people’s _____,
the more you can excel under pressure and
solve for people.”
Thriving in business
concerns are styles

Each book has a Diamond Rule Matrix.
The matrix is a handy reference tool for
applying the principles when working
with a prospect or client.

DIAMOND IS THE NINTH COLOR IN THE GOLDFISH SERIES

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
JANUARY 17, 2020

StanPhelpsSpeaks.com
STAN PHELPSTRAVIS CARSONTONY COOPER &
STANPHELPSSPEAKS.COMMARKETFORCEGLOBAL.COM

How to Thrive in Sales and Client Management with the Diamond Rule

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