Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize emotions, differentiate between them, and control them whenever possible. Being able to get control of over your emotions and helping others do the same, is a great skill to develop. Here are eight tips to consider if you want to boost your emotional intelligence.
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Emotional intelligence is the ability to
recognize emotions, differentiate
between them, and control them
whenever possible. Being able to get
control of over your emotions and
helping others do the same, is a great
skill to develop. Here are 8 tips to
consider if you want to boost your
This presentation includes powerful tips related to
Boosting Your Emotional Intelligence.
It also includes 3 actionable steps you can take right away
and a list of suggested reading for those people who are
looking for even more information.
You can control your emotions
better than you think
Otherwise, there would be no therapies that would control
anger, for instance. Emotions are regulated by the brain and
your brain can redirect those emotions when needed. The
first step in controlling your emotions is to know that they
can be controlled.
Some emotions stem from
what we believe
For instance, you may hold a political belief that tips
towards a particular party. When someone else has an
opposite belief, emotions can get the best of both people.
However, if you try to take the other person’s perspective,
you may find some commonalities between you.
Don’t suppress your emotions
Controlling your emotions does not mean suppressing them
or pretending as if they don’t exist. You are going to feel
them no matter what. It’s part of what makes you human.
How you react to your emotions makes the difference
between controlling them and losing that control.
If you are a hot head and blow up at anything someone says,
you are not in control of your emotions.
Learn how to recognize the
emotions of others
Sometimes, people try to mask their emotions. You can use
certain clues such as body movements and facial expressions
to decipher their moods. This can help you diffuse a situation
before it gets out of hand. You can help the other person
through the emotional meltdown, if necessary.
Mental illness is a condition
that is not usually controllable
For instance, someone who is clinically depressed, won’t be
responsive when trying to cheer them up. You have to be
sensitive to this difference and recognize the possibility of it.
Realize that you are not a
therapist (unless you are!)
You can control your emotions and may be able to help
others control theirs. However, if you don’t have training in
this area, it can be dangerous to try methods on other people
to attempt to control them. Making suggestions based on
your interpretations of a situation may be appropriate.
However, it’s not a good idea to force a situation.
A good tip when handling
others’ emotions is to listen
This is a skill that is lacking for many in today’s fast-paced
life. Listening can help people feel better. It may not solve
their problems or their emotional turmoil. But, it can be a
good first step.
Good decisions comprise of a
mix of emotions and logic
This mix can be used to determine if you or someone you
know is not making good decisions. It could be a result of a
deep-rooted emotional situation that needs addressing.
1. The next time you are speaking on the phone with a friend, family
member, or colleague, do so in front of a mirror. Try to notice your
facial expressions as you speak to these people. Also, take note of your
body language. When you observe these signals, try to recognize them
in others when speaking face-to-face.
3. Ask someone you are close with if you can record a conversation
between you and him or her. The objective is to listen to the recording
and look for clues on how good a listener you were during the
exchange. If you were interrupting or you were talking over the other
person, this can be a sign that your listening skills need some work.
2. The next time you are feeling a bit down, force yourself to smile.
Keep doing this and notice if your mood changes. The chances are
good that it will. This can help to show you that emotions can be
Explore this topic further by clicking on the links below:
1. Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide
2. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
3. Emotional Intelligence 2.0
4. HBR's 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence
5. Primal Leadership: Unleashing the Power of Emotional Intelligence