Communication Hacks: Strategies for fostering collaboration and dealing with conflict in open source Presented by Nuritzi Sanchez, GitLab, Inc. Presented at Open Source 101 2021 Abstract: During this talk, you'll learn about topics like cross-cultural collaboration, giving and receiving feedback, and active listening -- all things that are vital to the health of our open source communities. After reading many self-help books, watching various TED Talks, and listening to a ton of podcasts, I've condensed my learnings to help you improve your communications skills, deal with conflict, and collaborate better than ever, not only in FOSS, but also everywhere else.

1. 2021
Communication Hacks
Strategies for fostering
collaboration and dealing
with conflict in open source
Presented By Nuritzi Sanchez
at Open Source 101

2. Nuritzi Sanchez
Sr. Open Source Program
Manager at GitLab

3. Today we'll
cover
1. Navigating cultural differences
2. Improving feedback
3. Active listening
4. Favorite hacks

4. Navigating cultural
differences
01

5. Communicating
Evaluating
Leading
Trusting
Disagreeing
Scheduling
Persuading
Countries are ranked along
these 7 indicators:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
We need to understand cultural differences
Source: The Culture Map by Erin Meyer via https://www.erinmeyer.com/culturemap/

6. Communicating
Low context: good communication is
precise, simple, and clear. Repetion is
often used to avoid misunderstandings.
High context: good communication is
sophisticated, nuanced, and layered.
You must read between the lines.
Source: The Culture Map by Erin Meyer via https://www.erinmeyer.com/culturemap/
Low Context High Context
USA Germany UK France
Nigeria
India
China
Indonesia

7. Evaluating
Source: The Culture Map by Erin Meyer via https://www.erinmeyer.com/culturemap/
Direct Negative Feedback Indirect Negative Feedback
Direct negative feedback: delivered frankly,
bluntly, and honestly. Negative messages
are not softened by positive ones. Absolutes
are used. Ok to give in front of groups.
Indirect negative feedback: delivered softly,
subtly, and diplomatically. Positive messages
wrap negative ones. Qualifying descriptors
are used. Feedback must be given in private.
USA
Germany
UK
France
Nigeria
India
China
Indonesia
Russia
Mexico

8. Persuading
Source: The Culture Map by Erin Meyer via https://www.erinmeyer.com/culturemap/
Principles First Applications First
USA
Germany
UK
France
Principles first: Value the "why" first. Have
been trained to develop the theory or
concept first before presenting the fact,
statement, or opinion.
Applications first: Value the "how" or
"what" first. Trained to begin with a fact,
statement, or opinion and back it up or
explain the conclusion as necessary.
Spain
Italy

9. Culture Map Example: 2020 GNOME Foundation
Board of Directors
In 2020 there are
Directors with
backgrounds from:
UK
United States
Brazil
Mexico
Nigeria
Source: The Culture Map by Erin Meyer via
https://www.erinmeyer.com/culturemap/

10. Invest time in getting to know the people you work with
Don't make assumptions
It's ok to establish expectations, but make sure you
understand the tradeoffs.
Let empathy be your guide.
Tips for navigating cultural differences
GitLab Cross-Culture Collaboration Guide:
https://about.gitlab.com/company/culture/cross-culture-collaboration-guide/

11. Improving Feedback 02

12. Giving and receiving feedback is a skill that we can build
Be aware of underlying biases or tendencies.
When we give or receive feedback, we are influenced by our own
stereotypes and biases.
Feedback is a good thing!
Linked to higher job satisfaction, being more creative on the job,
and adapting to things more quickly.
Seeking negative feedback is associated with higher performance.

13. Receiving negative feedback is tough!
We feel bad emotions more strongly than we feel
good ones because our brains are wired to detect
threats to help us survive.
Our fight, flight, or freeze instincts can kick in
when we receive negative feedback.

14. Take some time
We often get defensive or angry when we first
hear negative feedback. It is ok to take some time
to process the feedback!
Tips for Receiving Feedback
01

15. Create a script
Make taking a time out a part of your process and
develop a script to help: "Thanks for the
feedback. I'm going to take some time to process
it and will come back to you later."
Tips for Receiving Feedback
02

16. Focus on your physical body
If you have a physical reaction, focus on your
physical body to ground yourself.
Try a breathing technique: 4-4-4-4.
Breathe in for four seconds, hold for four,
release for four. Try that at least four times.
Tips for Receiving Feedback
03

17. Process the feedback
Ask yourself: What is true about what you heard?
What do you think is biased? How can you use
this to progress?
Tips for Receiving Feedback
04

18. Truth Triggers
Set off by the substance of the feedback itself. We feel that it's
somehow off, unhelpful, or simply untrue.
Relationship Triggers
Set off by a particular person who is giving us this gift of feedback.
Our focus shifts from the feedback itself to our relationship with the
person giving us the feedback.
Identity Triggers
Causes us to question our sense of identity. We feel overwhelmed,
threatened, ashamed, or off balance. We're suddenly unsure what to
think of ourselves and we end up just trying to survive.
Identify your triggers
Source: Thanks for the Feedback: The science and art of receiving feedback well

19. Evaluation: helps you understand where you
are and expectations
Coaching: helps you improve
Positive / Appreciation: motivates and
encourages
Think about what kind of feedback you're giving:
Tips for Giving Better Feedback
Source: Thanks for the Feedback: The science and art of receiving feedback well

20. Right person, place, and time.
When I think ... it makes me feel...
Positive feedback public, negative feedback private

21. Intent vs Impact
There may a larger gap between intent and impact in
#FOSS communities due to mostly virtual interactions

22. What is Intent vs Impact?
What you mean to do or say vs How your audience
perceives what you do or say.

23. What influences our perception?
In person: body language, tone of voice, and
volume.
Online: what we think we know about the person,
emojis, and writing style.

24. Gap Between Intent vs Impact
You write: "This bug is so irritating! It makes me want to jump out of a window."
You are sipping on some delicious tea in front of your computer.
You were hoping to bring attention to the bug because you find it
mildly annoying.
You added the window part to be humorous. You are actually in a
good mood -- especially because of your tea.
Impact
Intent
Reader might think you're angry
and might get angry or sad.

25. Remember, intent
and impact are
equally important.

26. Use the SBI-model to understand intent:
S - Situation: Describe the situation, be specific about
where it occurred.
B - Behavior: Describe the observable behavior. Don't
assume you know what the other person was thinking.
I - Impact: Describe what you thought or felt in reaction
to the behavior.
Intent. Ask about the person’s original intentions. This
enables you to close the gap between impact and intent.
SBI Model

27. Situation -- When you responded to the email I sent about
engagement ideas last Friday...
Behavior -- You said that I didn't have a background in
design so my opinion shouldn't count. (instead of saying
"you were rude" which is a judgement)
Impact -- That made me feel excluded from the
conversation even though it's a community-wide topic and I
felt hurt by the public comment.
This helps us understand intent -- What were you hoping to
accomplish with that?
SBI Example

28. Make it specific
It's easier for people to give feedback on specific things.
For example: "Can you give me feedback on my presentation"
vs "Can you give me feedback on how quickly I talk during my
presentation, and if I make eye contact with the audience?
Solicit feedback from multiple sources
Different perspectives might help you discover something you
wouldn't have otherwise.
Tips for requesting
feedback

29. Active Listening
03

30. “Being heard and understood
is one of the greatest desires of
the human heart.”
- Richard Carlson

31. Distracted Listening - multitasking or preoccupied.
Content Listening - listening to the facts and planning how
to respond.
Identifying Listening - responding with a similar situation
to show you understand.
Problem Solving - listening with the intent to provide
feedback and ideas on how to solve the situation.
Active Listening - you hear the facts and the feelings and
respond appropriately to both.
Types of Listening

32. Simple Signals and Questions
Cues help us understand what to do. For example,
traffic signals let us know if we should stop, go, or
yield to traffic.
Our actions and words do the same. Looking at people
in the eye, putting down our phone, or looking away
from our computer may signal that we're interested
and listening.
Active Listening

33. Really?
Uh huh
Interesting
Wow!
Tell me more about that
What's going on?
What do you think?
How are things?
Verbal cues that help show we are listening

34. Active Listening
Paraphrasing
Identify key words and the meaning of what is being said. Then,
rephrase what you have heard in your own words and to repeat
the message back to the speaker.
Helps the speaker feel heard and understood
Don't have to be in agreement
Makes room for many ideas
Summarizes and can lead to closure
Gives you more information and buys you time to think
Why this is powerful:

35. You can employ these principles in the virtual world.
Once able to resume in-person events, you can use
these princiles in person at events to build
relationships that carry on into the online world.
Active listening is
important for building
relationships

36. Favorite Hacks 04

37. It's the writer's job to be understood!
Formatting helps.
Avoid long sentences. Whenever you see yet another "and,"
break it up into two sentences.
Don't assume previous knowledge. Try to make it easy for
someone new to jump into the conversation.
Skim test. See if you can skim through and get the main
points.
Call to action. Make your call to action clear and state who
needs to do it, and by when.

38. It's the writer's job to be understood!

39. Yes, and...
Instead of saying, "No" or "Yes, but," use "Yes, and."
This acknowledges what people say and still gives you
room to disagree with them.
People are more likely to listen to you if they feel like you
listened to them.

40. How might we...
Might I suggest we...
What are your thoughts?
From my perspective, it's a little bit different. Let me explain...
I hear what you're saying, and I have a different perspective...
Let me see if I understand what you're saying....
I like your idea, have you thought about…
Collaborative Phrases

41. “Communication works for
those who work at it.”
- John Powell

42. Thank You
Slides can be found:
bit.ly/communication-hacks-ns
CC-BY-SA 4.0

43. Questions?
@1nuritzi
/nuritzis

44. References and Resources
The Culture Map by Erin Myers
Cross Culture Collaboration Guide by GitLab -- a guide to acknowledging
cultural differences in the workplace and setting expectations for interactions
Thanks for the Feedback: The science and art of receiving feedback well by
Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen (book and article)
Feedback (and other dirty words): Why we fear it, how to fix it by Tamra
Chandler and Laura Dowling
SBI Model -- Center for Creative Leadership
10 Phrases that Inspire Collaboration -- Randstad Risesmart
Communication Essentials Workshop -- novaworks.org