This document examines the harmful effects of others trying to convince women to pursue unwanted college majors based on a survey of 76 female respondents. The survey found that such influence negatively impacted women's feelings and self-confidence and sometimes led them to question or change their chosen path. To address this issue, the document proposes a solution of acknowledging and discussing women's choices rather than discounting them, and encouraging exploration and assistance rather than unsolicited advice. This approach aims to empower women to discover and pursue their desired fields of study through facilitated experience rather than misguided influence from others.

1. PLEASE DON’TTELL ME
WHATTO DO
Amanda Rickert
An examination of the harmful effects of misguided advice
and a suggestion to fixing them

2. SURVEY
76 female responses

3. 76 female responses
Age Current Education

4. UNDERGRAD OR ABOVE
74 female responses

5. Majors of Respondents (65 responses)
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16

6. 74 female responses
Enjoy(ed) major? Felt/feel guilt?

7. 24%
39%
17%
12%
8%
Family
Teacher
Self
Friend
Other
Influences on Major choice
74 female responses
Teacher
Family

8. 74 female responses
Did anyone ever
try to convince you
to pursue a major
you didn’t want to
pursue ?

9. It hurt when people discredited
my choice of majors…
… annoying to have people
always act surprised…
… made me overthink
my decision…
It made me want to
prove them wrong.
… it makes me feel like she
doesn't respect my choice or
see it as a valid opinion…
It made me angry.
It was disheartening.
It made me feel like
I was not capable.
… It made me question if I
was doing the right thing…
It upset me.
I felt like proving him wrong…
… so I did!

10. SELECTED RESPONSES
Some selected responses from the survery

11. Responses on feelings regarding others trying
to convince an unwanted major change
• “It made me feel like I was not
capable. I did not change my choice;
however, I carried that with me for a
long time.”
• “The influence of others led me to
take some courses in college that
were not related to the major I
received my degree in.These courses
helped me realize that I should stick
to the original major I had planned for
myself.”
• “It didn't convince me to change, but
it did frustrate me because it's my
choice to choose what major I
choose.”
• “I changed my mind for a bit, but I
changed it back eventually. It was
really annoying to have people
always act surprised when they heard
I wanted to be an automotive
engineer.They actually convinced me
for a while that I didn't actually like
cars as much as I thought, but I
eventually realized they were wrong.”

12. Responses on feelings regarding others trying
to convince an unwanted major change
• “I wasn't convinced to change, but it
made me question if I was doing the right
thing for quite a while.”
• “Almost weekly was told I should change
my major.When I began work in my
major, was told women couldn't do the
job as well as a man.”
• “My mom especially constantly
introduces new majors to me, and it
makes me feel like she doesn't respect
my choice or see it as a valid opinion,
even though it's my own and my life.”
• “I almost changed my major because my
boyfriend at the time thought a different
major would be a better "career" for me.
When I saw how controlling he was and
the relationship ended, I continued with
my chosen major. I'm thankful I followed
my head and not my broken heart.”
• “My HS guidance counselor once tried to
convince me to aspire to be a
weatherman because it paid well. I kindly
reminded her I didn't like science. College
was never about anyone's decisions but
mine.”

13. Miscellaneous shared information
• “I really don't believe I knew what
was available and my counselor's
advice was limited.”
• “I received much opposition to my
choice of majors from my mom,
made me more determined to prove
myself, having support system would
have been great!”
• “If I did it again, I would tried
Engineering, but the measure of
success was so grade focused, the
fear of failure held me back.”
• “Always told that athletic training is a
"mans job" but I want to get rid of
that stereotype.”
• “I made the decision to not pursue an
advanced degree in the subject that I
really wanted to study because of
financial issues and the desire to be
independent. Had I had a mentor to
guide me, I may have continued on
an alternate path.”

14. Miscellaneous shared information
• “I always knew that I wanted to do
something in the medical field. And my
parents were always very supportive,
encouraging, and proud of me. If I ever
became discouraged they would tell me
that if this is what I truly wanted then to
keep trying and I could do it.”
• “Seeing my peers transition through
college/majors was something that made
me second guess my major from time to
time. It reinforced my choice in majors
once I was able to find a group of girls
with the same goals and majors.”
• “I knew I wanted to teach. I just didn't
know what. I did very well on my
placement exams and places into 300
level Spanish. I fell in love with the
language and culture. When I studied
overseas, I was hooked for life.”

15. SOWHAT NOW?
A proposed solution

16. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
• Acknowledge what they want
• Do not discount or belittle their aspirations
• Do not suggest something you think would be better for them
• “Oh, but you would make such a good ________.”

17. DISCUSSION
• Ask them why
• Do not assume you know
• Facilitate a discussion in which they do the explaining
• Let them challenge and explain their own choices
• Helpful discussion should be had at every phase

18. ENCOURAGEMENT
• Encourage them to learn more
• Encourage them to explore
• This would be a good place to suggest there are many opportunities
out there all worth exploring
• Have discussions throughout this phase to see what was
discovered and if any changes have been made
• After any change of heart go back to acknowledgement

19. ASSISTANCE
• Help them find and attend events in their desired area of study
• Set them on the path to making connections
• They are much more likely to respond to change if they discover
they want it themselves through experience

20. PLEASE DON’TTELL ME
WHATTO DO
Amanda Rickert
An examination of the harmful effects of misguided advice
and a suggestion to fixing them

21. T i g e r Q u e s t L e a d e r s h i p C o n s u l t a n t