Report on parenting and resilience.

1. Growing up in a Broken Home: A Narrative
Ashley Marks
Christopher Newport University
English Department
May 29, 2015

2. Growing up in a Broken Home: A Narrative
From: Ashley Marks
Subject: Impacts of Growing up in an Unconventional Home
Date: May 17, 2015
Purpose
The purpose of this memo is to present my findings on the impacts that growing up in an
unconventional home can have on an individual. The data for this research will be obtained in
the form of a narrative qualitative research study. The goal of this study is to provide an in-depth
review of a single individual and gain more subjective data on the topic with the hope that
individuals may gain a better understanding of the topic.
Summary
The way an individual grows up, including their home life and parental situation, has a
substantial impact on how that individual develops. Many psychologists, such as Erikson and
Freud, discuss stages of development, with the early stages being almost completely dependent
on the role of parents and environmental factors that are largely out of the individual’s control.
While each stage theorist differs in their defined stages, all tend to agree that the early stages are
extremely important in the development of the child. In addition to these early stages being
considered to be extremely important in terms of whom the child becomes, according to stage
theorists, they can predict certain difficulties later in life. These difficulties include, but are not
limited to, commitment issues, trust issues, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. However,
as with most psychological theories, they are not necessarily true for every individual. Many
quantitative studies have been done on the topic of child rearing and the way that upbringing
impacts children. However, this study has the objective of providing a more in-depth overview of
the impacts of an unconventional upbringing than a quantitative study could provide. While only
looking at a single individual and their personal experiences, this narrative will be useful in
moving from an objective view on the topic to a subjective look at the people who experience
unconventional upbringings.
The role of parenting on development is vital and always impacts the child in some way.
However, as aforementioned, no theory can predict the way that every single person who grows
up in a certain environment will turn out. This narrative study looked into the life of someone
who grew up in an extremely unstable, deleterious environment. While looking at his life from a
superficial perspective, it seems that these factors would make him fail every stage of Erikson’s
stages of psychosocial development. However, upon an in-depth look into his life, it is found that
he is confident, autonomous, and most importantly, resilient. This paper will analyze the factors
of his life and provide a detailed explanation as to how theory can be applied to show how his
circumstances led to who he is today.
To contact me, Ashley Marks, please refer to the contact information below.
Thank you,
Ashley Marks
112 E Suite Life Circle
Newport News, VA 23606
Email: ashley.marks.12@cnu.edu
Phone: (703) 477-3229

3. Abstract
This paper will explore the life of one man and his experiences from childhood through
college through use of a narrative qualitative study. The study is on how growing up in a non-
traditional home can impact the growth and development of a person, specifically surrounding
parenting. The factor being focused on throughout this study is resilience. The data that has been
gathered through the qualitative research has been analyzed using Erik Erikson’s stages of
psychosocial development, with a focus on the first four stages. The data was gathered during a
one-on-one guided interview and conversation, which gathered background information as well
as data from the perspective of the individual being researched. The data gathered during this
research has yielded results showing that, while instability existed throughout all of his
childhood, one stable factor in his life combated the instability to produce a confident and
resilient human being. This data should be used as evidence that, while some factors are out of
the control of the parent or guardian, love and support can allow the individual to overcome his
or her circumstances.
Keywords: Broken Home, Non-Traditional Home, Parenting, Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial
Development, Confidence, Resilience.

4. Introduction
The purpose of this study is to examine the impacts that growing up in an unconventional
home can have on an individual. For the purpose of this study, unconventional or untraditional
homes may include, but are not limited to, environments with one parent, divorce, separation,
remarriage, abuse, neglect, and poverty. This study is on the upbringing of an individual,
including his environment and parental figures, as well as his relationship with is parental
figures. The focus of this study is on resilience in an individual and how an individual with an
unconventional home-life or upbringing can grow up to be a resilient human being. Resilience is
essentially the ability to recover or bounce back after something negative occurs. Parenting is a
huge factor in the development of a person, and this study will determine how certain styles of
parenting can combat the effects of an unstable upbringing.
Theory
The theory being used to analyze the data that will be gathered during this study is Erik
Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development. This study will focus on the way childhood
factors influence who a person becomes. Data will be analyzing using primarily the first four
stages of psychosocial development: trust versus mistrust, autonomy versus shame and doubt,
initiative versus guilt, and industry versus inferiority (Erikson, Paul, Heider, & Gardner, 1959).
Trust versus mistrust occurs during the first year of life (Erikson, Paul, Heider, & Gardner,
1959). If the caregivers at this time are consistent sources of love, affection, and comfort, in
addition to meeting the infant’s basic needs, then the infant will view the world as a trustworthy
place and view people as reliable and dependable (Erikson, Paul, Heider, & Gardner, 1959).
Autonomy versus shame and doubt occurs between two and three years of age (Erikson, Paul,
Heider, & Gardner, 1959). During this stage, if parents are encouraging, supportive, and patient,

5. the child will become more autonomous and able to tackle new tasks (Erikson, Paul, Heider, &
Gardner, 1959). If the parent is very restrictive, the child is more likely to be doubtful of
themselves and their abilities and reluctant to try new things (Erikson, Paul, Heider, & Gardner,
1959). Initiative versus guilt occurs when the child is between three and six, as a child begins to
develop a conscience (Erikson, Paul, Heider, & Gardner, 1959). If parents and/or teachers
encourage the child to take on appropriate tasks and to support the efforts made by children to
complete tasks, the child will develop initiative (Erikson, Paul, Heider, & Gardner, 1959)..
However, if a child’s desire to pursuit tasks is discouraged or discredited or if the child is not
receiving support, the child will develop a sense of guilt over their needs and desires (Erikson,
Paul, Heider, & Gardner, 1959). Lastly, industry versus inferiority takes place between the ages
of seven and twelve (Erikson, Paul, Heider, & Gardner, 1959). Erikson believed this stage was
especially important in the development of self-confidence (Erikson, Paul, Heider, & Gardner,
1959). If a child is encouraged to do things and praised for his or her accomplishments, they will
have a higher self-confidence and believe in their abilities (Erikson, Paul, Heider, & Gardner,
1959). However, if a child is not encouraged or praised and is ridiculed or punished for their
attempts at completing tasks, they will feel inferior about themselves and their abilities (Erikson,
Paul, Heider, & Gardner, 1959).
Research Methods
In order to obtain the data for this study, I first found a willing participant who had
disclosed that he had an unconventional upbringing. I discussed with him the purpose and nature
of the study and ensured that his name would not be used in the research. Following this initial
meeting where we discussed the study, we set up a time and place for the guided interview. Prior
to the interview, I developed twenty-one questions to guide discussions, which can be seen in

6. Appendix A. During the questioning process, if any questions that were relevant arose they were
asked and the answers were recorded. I typed the responses as they were said, however no audio
recording was done. After all of the pre-developed questions were asked, I went on to ask him
questions specific to Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development, such as if he had a stable
parenting figure in the first three years of his life. Throughout the interview I focused specifically
on factors of parenting that could have contributed to his resilience and high self-confidence and
self-esteem.
Findings
As shown in Appendix B, my participant had a very unstable upbringing, which can be
seen just by looking at how many schools he attended from kindergarten through high school.
He attended 8 different schools in 6 different districts. His parents divorced when he was at the
age of four, and he resided with his mother. His father went to prison for assaulting his older
sister and struggled with substance abuse. His mother had tumultuous relationships following the
divorce before eventually remarrying, which meant that the participant moved around a lot. In
addition, he also spent a couple of years living with his father after his father got out of prison.
These are just some of the factors that contributed to the instability in his life growing up,
especially involving his parental figures. According to Erikson’s stages of psychosocial
development as explained above, this level of instability and trauma occurring around him
should have led him to experience many issues, especially involving his self-esteem and identity.
However, when asked about his outlook on life, he was optimistic, stating that “even if [he]
failed, [he] would just try again until he succeeded.” This is an extremely positive and resilient
attitude, especially for someone who has been through so much. The participant also stated that
he felt going through everything that he did growing up taught him to be more independent and

7. helped him gain perspective on what was important. I also asked the participant about his sexual
orientation; He is a homosexual. When asked how his parents reacted to him coming out, he
stated that both his parents and his stepdad all supported him in this, which definitely contributed
to how comfortable he is in his own skin.
With all of this information about how his life was and who he is today, the remainder of
the interview and time spent analyzing data was finding the missing link that made him the
positive person today. Despite all of this instability around him, he stated that he always had his
mother. She was a strong, supportive, encouraging mother who always allowed him to be
himself and encouraged his independence. When he would fail, she would encourage him to try
again and make sure he knew that he would always be loved and cared for no matter what. Even
when things got tough in their lives, whether because of the divorce, the assault charges on his
father, the tumultuous relationships, or struggles for money or housing, his mother was always
strong for him and his sisters. With this knowledge, Erikson’s theory of psychosocial
development can be applied to his life. During his first two years of life, he saw more of his dad
than his mom, but he always had his parents around and he was always very well cared for. His
dad stayed at home for the most part, so he had consistent care during this time. From ages two
to four, he stated that his mom always encouraged autonomy. She would support his
independence and allow him to “do [his] own thing” and to “do what made [him] happy.” While
these may seem like small things to some, these factors likely played a huge role in his levels of
confidence and high self-esteem and especially in his resilience. He learned that even when
things seem like they cannot get any worse, everything would be okay and he would never be
alone.

8. This data shows how important parenting is during the early years of life. Even though
some families are not in ideal situations, it is still possible to overcome these challenges,
especially in child rearing. Even though my participant’s mother worked full-time and the father
was out of the picture for a good part of his life, his mother still found a way to let him know he
was loved and cared for. The encouragement and support that she gave him still stick with him
today and push him to continue to work towards his dreams, even with all of the hardships that
he has faced. With the proper love, encouragement, and support, any parent may have the ability
to raise a child with the indispensible qualities of confidence and resilience.

9. References
Erikson, E. H., Paul, I. H., Heider, F., & Gardner, R. W. (1959). Psychological issues (Vol. I).
International Universities Press.

10. Appendix A
Guided Interview Questions
1. Did you have both parents growing up?
2. Were they:
a. Married?
b. Separated?
c. Divorced?
3. If divorced/separated, how did this impact your family?
4. If divorced/separated, was the relationship between your parents civil?
5. If divorced/separated, how did this impact your upbringing?
6. If divorced/separated, which parent did you reside with?
a. Was this your choice?
7. If divorced/separated, how did this impact your opinion of your parents?
a. Short term?
b. Long term?
8. Did either of your parents remarry?
9. If so, did you know their new spouse(s)?
10. If so, did you get along with their new spouse(s)?
11. Who would you consider to have been the main parental figure in your life?
12. Do you feel that any of the circumstance surrounding your upbringing were
unconventional?
a. If so, explain.
13. What is your sexual orientation?

11. 14. Have your parents and/or step-parents been supportive of this?
15. Do you feel that your upbringing has made your life easier or harder?
a. Explain.
16. Statistically, people growing up in unconventional homes tend to have struggles with
relationships as adults. Do you feel this is true for you?
a. If so, explain.
17. Do you have an optimistic or pessimistic view of life for yourself and others?
18. Do you consider yourself to be confident?
19. Do you think your self-esteem has been impacted by your upbringing?
20. Do you feel your parents’/step-parents’ reaction to your sexual orientation has impacted
how you feel about yourself?
21. Do you feel that your upbringing has impacted your life decisions (i.e. education, career,
relationships, etc.)
Additional follow-up questions were asked based on the answers to the questions above,
including questions focusing on age-related history to analyze data using Erikson’s stages of
psychosocial development.

12. Appendix B
Data Visualization of Schools Attended for Emphasis of Instability in Life
Data on map includes markers of schools attended from kindergarten through high school.
Schools include:
• Halifax Elementary School
• Cumberland County Elementary School
• Thelma Crenshaw Elementary School
• Cumberland County Middle School
• Crittenden Middle School
• Prince Edward County Middle School
• Salem Church Middle School
• Prince Edward County High School
18 years, 8 schools, 6 different districts.
https://www.mapbox.com/editor/?id=ashgrl365.m9fjdimo#