Best practice conflict management, -resolution and interpersonal communication skills, principles and processes

1. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT AND COMMUNICATION SKILLS
CHARLES COTTER PhD, MBA, B.A (Hons), B.A
NWU, MAHIKENG
5-6 JUNE 2018

2. TRAINING
PROGRAMME
OVERVIEW – DAY 1
• Defining the fundamental concepts
• Optimal levels of conflict
• The manager’s roles and responsibilities as a
conflict manager
• The five (5) distinctive conflict resolution
styles
❑ Characteristics
❑ Suitability and appropriateness
• Applying the 4-step conflict resolution process
• Proactively managing conflict
• Dealing effectively with anger

3. TRAINING
PROGRAMME
OVERVIEW – DAY 2
• Defining effective interpersonal
communication
• Identify the key components of the
interpersonal communication process/model
• Evaluating personal interpersonal
communication skills and style
• Identifying and resolving communication
barriers
• Applying the Johari’s Window and PAC models
• Mastering non-verbal communication skills
• Conducting critical conversations

4. DAY 1

5. INTRODUCTORY ACTIVITY
• Complete the statement by inserting one (1) word. In
order to effectively resolve conflict at NWU, I need
to/to be………………………………………………
• Jot this word down and find other learners who have
written down the same word.
• Write this word down on the flip-chart.
• Each learner will have the opportunity to elaborate on
their choice of word.

6. THE FUNDAMENTALS OF CONFLICT
MANAGEMENT
• Defining conflict
• Differentiating between functional and
dysfunctional conflict
• Identifying the causes/sources of conflict
• Indicators/warning signals of conflict

7. FUNCTIONAL AND DYSFUNCTIONAL
CONFLICT
• Functional conflict leads to open discussion, a better
understanding of differences, innovative solutions and greater
commitment.
• Functional conflict contributes to the achievement of
organizational goals and enhances relationship-building.
• Dysfunctional conflict tends be more focused on emotions than
on the goal/task at hand known as affect conflict/interpersonal
conflict, it is destructive when a solution is not reached, energy is
diverted away from the core problem and morale is negatively
affected.
• Dysfunctional conflict is detrimental to relationships within the
team and team performance.

9. CAUSES/SOURCES OF
CONFLICT
• Intra-personal
• Interpersonal
• Intra-group
• Inter-group

10. INDICATORS/WARNING
SIGNS OF CONFLICT
• Signs of conflict
between individuals
• Signs of conflict
between groups of
people

11. OPTIMAL LEVELS OF CONFLICT

12. ADVANTAGES OF OPTIMAL
LEVELS OF CONFLICT
• Co-operation from team members
• Improved performance and
productivity
• Reduced stress and preserved
integrity
• Solve problems as quickly as possible
• Improved relationships and
teamwork
• Enhanced creativity
• Increased staff morale

13. LEARNING ACTIVITY 1
• Group discussion
• 1.1 By referring to the three (3) types of
conflict, identify one (1) example of current
or recent workplace conflict at NWU.
• 1.2 For each of the above examples,
indicate whether these examples are
functional or dysfunctional conflict.
Substantiate your answer.
• 1.3 For each of the above examples,
describe the indicators/warning signs of
each example.
• 1.4 By referring to these indicators,
describe what you can do, to nip
dysfunctional conflict in the bud, thereby
not allowing the conflict to escalate out of
control.

14. MANAGER
RESPONSIBILITIES
• Conflict Manager
• Coach
• Liaison
• Trouble-shooter

15. CONFLICT MANAGER
• Key responsibilities include:
❑Helping to identify the sources of conflict
❑Identifying the resolution options available
❑Evaluating the advantages and disadvantages of each
resolution option

16. LEARNING ACTIVITY 2
• Group discussion
• 2.1 Describe your primary
roles and responsibilities as
a conflict manager.
• 2.2 Do you believe that
team members share
responsibility to resolve
conflict in your work team?
Substantiate your answer.

17. CONFLICT RESOLUTION STYLES
• Shark (Competing)
• Turtle (Avoiding)
• Fox (Compromising)
• Teddy-bear (Accommodating)
• Owl (Collaborating)

18. LEARNING ACTIVITY 3
• Individual activity:
• Complete the 30
question/item Thomas-
Kilmann Conflict Mode
instrument/questionnaire
and by using the scoring
sheet, determine your
predominant conflict
management style.
• Follow the instructions.

19. SHARK
CHARACTERISTICS
• Sharks use a forcing or competing conflict
management style
• Sharks are highly goal-oriented
• Relationships take on a lower priority
• Sharks do not hesitate to use aggressive behaviour to
resolve conflicts
• Sharks can be autocratic, authoritative, and
uncooperative; threatening and intimidating
• Sharks have a need to win; therefore others must lose,
creating win-lose situations
• Advantage: If the shark's decision is correct, a better
decision without compromise can result
• Disadvantage: May breed hostility and resentment
toward the person using it

20. TURTLE
CHARACTERISTICS
• Turtles adopt an avoiding or withdrawing
conflict management style
• Turtles would rather hide and ignore conflict
than resolve it; this leads them
uncooperative and unassertive
• Turtles tend to give up personal goals and
display passive behaviour creating lose-lose
situations
• Advantage: may help to maintain
relationships that would be hurt by conflict
resolution
• Disadvantage: Conflicts remain unresolved,
overuse of the style leads to others walking
over them

21. FOX
CHARACTERISTICS
• Foxes use a compromising conflict
management style; concern is for goals
and relationships
• Foxes are willing to sacrifice some of their
goals while persuading others to give up
part of theirs
• Compromise is assertive and cooperative-
result is either win-lose or lose-lose
• Advantage: relationships are maintained
and conflicts are removed
• Disadvantage: compromise may create
less than ideal outcome and game playing
can result

22. TEDDY-BEAR
CHARACTERISTICS
• Teddy bears use a smoothing or
accommodating conflict management style
with emphasis on human relationships
• Teddy bears ignore their own goals and
resolve conflict by giving into others;
unassertive and cooperative creating a win-
lose (bear is loser) situation
• Advantage: Accommodating maintains
relationships
• Disadvantage: Giving in may not be
productive, bear may be taken advantage
of

23. OWL
CHARACTERISTICS
• Owls use a collaborating or problem
confronting conflict management style
valuing their goals and relationships
• Owls view conflicts as problems to be
solved finding solutions agreeable to all
sides (win-win)
• Advantage: both sides get what they want
and negative feelings eliminated
• Disadvantage: takes a great deal of time
and effort

24. CONFLICT RESOLUTION STYLES

26. THE 4-STEP CONFLICT
RESOLUTION PROCESS –
THERAPEUTIC MODEL
• Step 1: Identify sources of
potential and actual conflict
(DIAGNOSIS)
• Step 2: Develop conflict
resolution strategies/techniques
(EXAMINATION)
• Step 3: Apply conflict resolution
strategies/techniques (REMEDY)
• Step 4: Control and review the
effectiveness of the conflict
resolution strategy/technique
(FOLLOW-UP)

27. STEP 1:
DIAGNOSIS
• Identify the sources/causes of
conflict:
❑Intra-personal
❑Interpersonal
❑Intra-group or Inter-group
• The best approach to manage
conflict effectively is to be
proactive.

28. STEP 2:
EXAMINATION
• Develop conflict resolution
strategies/techniques:
❑ Shark (Competing)
❑ Turtle (Avoiding)
❑ Fox (Compromising)
❑ Teddy-bear (Accommodating)
❑ Owl (Collaborating)
• There is no one best way to deal with conflict. It
is dependent on the current situation as well as
the team members involved in the conflict.
• The golden rule is that managers should take
prompt action in resolving conflict.
• By failing to act, it may result in the conflict
escalating beyond control and “spreading like a
cancer” negatively affecting team performance
and relationships.

29. STEP 3: REMEDY
• Apply conflict resolution
strategies/techniques
• The key is to match strategies to
situations
• Influential considerations:
❑Time pressure
❑Issue importance
❑Relationship importance
❑Relative power

30. SUITABILITY AND
APPROPRIATENESS:
SHARK
• When conflict involves personal
differences that are difficult to change
• When fostering intimate or supportive
relationships is not critical
• When others are likely to take advantage
of non-competitive behaviour
• When conflict resolution is urgent; when
decision is vital and when in a crisis
• When unpopular decisions need to be
implemented
• Use when you have a very strong
conviction about your position
• If time is precious and if you have enough
power to impose your will

31. SUITABILITY AND
APPROPRIATENESS:
TURTLE
• When the stakes are not high or issue is
trivial
• When confrontation will hurt a working
relationship
• When there is little chance of satisfying your
wants
• When disruption outweighs benefit of
conflict resolution
• When gathering information is more
important than an immediate decision
• When others can more effectively resolve the
conflict
• When time constraints demand a delay
• Use it when it simply is not worth the effort
to argue

32. SUITABILITY AND
APPROPRIATENESS: FOX
• When important/complex issues
leave no clear or simple solutions
• When all conflicting people are
equal in power and have strong
interests in different solutions
• When there are no time restraints
• Use when the goal is to get past
the issue and move on

33. SUITABILITY AND
APPROPRIATENESS:
TEDDY-BEAR
• When maintaining the relationship
outweighs other considerations
• When suggestions/changes are not
important to the accommodator
• When minimizing losses in
situations where outmatched or
losing
• When time is limited or when
harmony and stability are valued
• Use this approach very sparingly
and infrequently, for example, in
situations when you know that
you will have another more useful
approach in the very near future

34. SUITABILITY AND
APPROPRIATENESS: OWL
• When maintaining relationships is
important
• When time is not a concern
• When peer conflict is involved
• When trying to gain commitment
through consensus building
• When learning and trying to merge
differing perspectives
• Use when the goal is to meet as many
current needs as possible by using
mutual resources. This approach
sometimes raises new mutual needs.
• Use when the goal is to cultivate
ownership and commitment

35. STEP 4: FOLLOW-
UP
• Managers will need to confirm
whether this technique has
adequately resolved the conflict.
• In the event that this dysfunctional
conflict persists, managers may have
to resort to alternative (third party)
strategies:
❑ Mediation
❑ Counseling
❑ Organizational development (OD)
interventions

36. LEARNING ACTIVITY 4
• Group discussion
• Apply the 4-step conflict resolution
process, to find a solution for an
identified conflict situation at
NWU.
• Step 1:
• Step 2:
• Step 3:
• Step 4:

37. PRO-ACTIVELY
MINIMIZING
CONFLICT
• Referring (to expert staff)
• Informing
❑ Performance
expectations
❑ Changes to
organizational policy
and operations
• Consulting with team
members
• Employee Engagement

38. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT GUIDING PRINCIPLES
– TIPS AND TECHNIQUES

40. DEALING WITH
ANGER
• To effectively defuse anger,
keep in mind the needs of the
angry speaker:
• To vent
• To get the listener's attention
• To be heard
• To be understood

41. DEALING WITH
ANGER
• When you're listening to an
angry person, apply the
following constructive
behaviour:
• Be attentive and patient
• Be sincere
• Be calm

43. LEARNING ACTIVITY 5
• Group discussion
• 5.1 By referring to the provided
guidelines, explain how you can
pro-actively minimize conflict in
your work team. Focus on
referring, informing, consulting and
engaging in your explanation.
• 5.2 Review the tips and techniques
and prioritize the most relevant
guidelines.
• 5.3 Describe how you can better
manage your anger and
control/regulate your emotions.

44. DAY 2

45. DEFINING EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
• Communication is more than merely imparting meaning – it
must also be understood.
• Fundamental definition of effective communication is when
the intended message of the sender is correctly interpreted,
understood and acted upon by the recipient/listener.
• Communication is the lifeblood of teams. No team or
organization can exist without communication i.e. the
transference of meaning among its team members.
• It is only through transmitting meaning from one person to
another that information and ideas can be conveyed.

46. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
PROCESS

48. PRIMARY COMMUNICATION SKILLS
• Informing skills – the ability to articulate and
express ideas and thoughts (as sender)
• Listening skills – the ability to listen attentively and
actively (as receiver)
• The ability to express, read, interpret and respond
appropriately to non-verbal communication

50. LEARNING ACTIVITY 6
• Individual activity:
• Complete the Listening and
Informing Survey.
• Follow the instructions.
• Group discussion:
• Identify gaps and discuss
how to improve those gaps.

52. LEARNING ACTIVITY 7
• Part A:
• Individual activity:
• Complete the Interpersonal Style
Questionnaire
• Follow the instructions.
• Part B:
• Group Discussion:
• By referring to your interpersonal
style, describe how you can improve
your communication with the other
interpersonal styles.

53. INTERPERSONAL STYLE

54. BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

55. BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE
COMMUNICATION
• Intra-personal
• Interpersonal
• Structural
• Physical,
technological
and/or
environmental

56. COMMUNICATION
IMPROVEMENT
STRATEGIES
• Plan what you want to say and how you will
say it
• Use multiple channels and mediums
• Tailor the message to the audience
• Use clear, simple and understandable
language
• Empathize with others
• Remember the value of face-to-face
communication when dealing with change

57. COMMUNICATION
IMPROVEMENT
STRATEGIES
• Use two-way communication
• Practice active listening
• Match your words and actions
(congruency)
• Ask for feedback/questions to confirm
understanding
• Use the grapevine (as a source of
employee issues)
• Use feedback
• Use assertive communication

58. THE ASSERTIVENESS CONTINUUM

59. LEARNING TO SAY NO – “WHO’S
GOT THE MONKEY?”

60. PARENT-ADULT-CHILD (PAC) MODEL

62. JOHARI’S WINDOW
• Managers can utilize Johari’s Window, in order to affect openness and
interpersonal trust.
• Designed to understand the communication process between people and consists
of varying degrees of information held in common between two people as well as
methods that can be used to increase the size of one’s window.
• Communication will be enhanced if the Arena is increased in size by:
❑ Exposure of self to others
❑ Soliciting feedback from others
• Exposure requires an open, candid and trusting approach, while feedback requires
an active solicitation of feelings, opinions and values from others.
• For these processes to be fully developed, reciprocity is required.

64. LEARNING ACTIVITY 8
• Group Discussion:
• 8.1 Review the factors and advice to improve
your interpersonal communication and prioritize
the most relevant guidelines.
• 8.2 By referring to the barriers to effective
communication, identify the most common
causes of communication break-downs between
yourself and your manager and other colleagues
at NWU. Propose/develop solutions to these
identified communication break-downs.
• 8.3 Describe how you can apply the PAC model,
to promote more constructive communication
engagement with management and colleagues.
• 8.4 By referring to Johari’s Window, describe
how you can promote open, respectful and
trusting interpersonal relationships thereby
enhancing communication.

65. DEFINING NON-VERBAL
COMMUNICATION (NVC)
• Non-verbal communication is usually understood as the process
of communication through sending and receiving wordless (mostly visual)
cues between people.
• Face-to-face interaction, NVC can be classified into three principal areas:
❑ Environmental conditions where communication takes place
❑ Physical characteristics of the communicators
❑ Behaviours of communicators during interaction

66. COMPREHENSION COMPONENTS OF NVC

67. COMPONENTS OF NVC

68. ANALYSIS OF NVC – INTERPERSONAL
CONTEXT

69. ANALYSIS OF NVC SCENARIO – GROUP
CONTEXT

70. LEARNING ACTIVITY 9
• Group Discussion:
• By referring to the
different examples of
NVC, explain how you as
a 9.1) sender and 9.2) as
a receiver, can improve
your interpersonal
communication at NWU.

73. WE HAVE TO TALK: A STEP-BY-STEP
CHECKLIST FOR DIFFICULT
CONVERSATIONS (Judy Ringer)
• Working on Yourself: How to Prepare for the Conversation
• Before going into the conversation, ask yourself some questions
• 4 Steps to a Successful Outcome
❑ Step #1: Inquiry
❑ Step #2: Acknowledgment
❑ Step #3: Advocacy
❑ Step #4: Problem-Solving
• Practice, Practice, Practice
• Some additional tips and suggestions
• How Do I Begin?
• Write a possible opening for your conversation

74. LEARNING
ACTIVITY 10
• Group Discussion:
• Review the article
and extract the
most relevant
lessons within the
NWU work
environment.

75. CONCLUSION
• Key points
• Summary
• Questions
• Training Administration

76. CONTACT DETAILS
• Dr. Charles Cotter
• (+27) 84 562 9446
• charlescot@polka.co.za
• LinkedIn
• Twitter: @Charles_Cotter
• https://www.facebook.com/CharlesACotter/
• http://www.slideshare.net/CharlesCotter