This is our perfect pitch deck we're sending out to investors. You can learn so much from it. Also we'll be a #BillionDollarIdea. Or do you think anybody will want to ride a scooter, if they also can ride a Pony instead?

1. – HYPER CONFIDENTIAL –
Page 1 of 4289
The Mobility Revolution

2. The Problem
E-scooters
suck!

3. Uncomfortable Dangerous Hideous
E-scooters are…

4. $935M raised
Just got $250M from an investor that is
ALWAYS right!
$623M raised with that weird logo
(they don’t even rent out birds!)
But: Investors love them!

5. And: More players coming
Launching soon, crazy
hipster CEO, apparently
MASSIVE war chest

6. Why does nobody see the
CLEARLY superior solution?

7. PONIES

8. Super smooth Super safe Super cute
Ponies are…

9. Also, Ponies are an
absolute MEGA-TREND
right now:

10. People want
them!

11. • Pony King
Biggest show
on Netflix!

12. • WAP Wet Ass Pony
Smash hit
“Wet Ass Pony”!

13. Hot blonde Pony solo on a green
meadow
Gorgeous Shetland Pony having
fun in the mountains
Hot Pony Videos in Iceland
Hairy Iceland Pony looking for
companionship
Pony getting the Iceland summer
sun straight in the face
Just a pretty Pony eating some
hay in Mongolia
Closeup of amateur Pony first
time on camera
Ponyhub
PONY VIDEOS PONYSTARS PONY
Ponyhub
Ads By Pony Junky
No. 1 global
website!

14. That’s where we come in,
with our GENIUS SOLUTION:

15. Rental Ponies
for everyone,
everywhere

16. Our amazing
brand and
unique logo

17. (The umlaut was an
idea our Über driver
had the other day –
great guy, might offer
him an internship!)

18. Our amazing
and unique
app design

19. This will work
in big cities…

20. …the
suburbs…

21. …and even
abroad!

22. Products for all Use Cases

23. Okay, we know what
you’re thinking:

24. “Sounds amazing,
but can you execute
the tech?”
- Every Guy in
a Vest right
now

25. Yes. Our beta already offers different modes:
(Including everybody’s favorite…)

26. …DARK
MODE!

27. We’ve performed well in
early benchmarking tests!

28. “I love riding on Pöny™.
It’s so comfortable, I
don’t even need a
shirt!”
- Vlad P., Pony Lover
Testimonial
Beta testers are
super excited:

29. We have even figured out the
charging infrastructure:

30. Supercarrot Network™

31. Our product is amazing, but
our COMPANY CULTURE will
ensure our success:

32. Strong Company Values
We don’t
mistreat our
employees!

33. Main KPI:
NPS
(Net Pony Satisfaction)

34. Pony Spa

35. Mental Health
Support

36. 50 Shades of Hay
Standing Desks

37. Freedom to
work on other
projects
(“20% time”)

38. My co-founder even
brings them muffins –
he’s the motherly type.

39. (Funny story, I found him
through this tweet!)

40. Our company motto is…

41. …lived every
day by our
employees!

42. Our business model
is very simple:

43. to unlock
per mile

44. But we have additional
revenue streams:

45. Branding Partnerships
Standard

46. Branding Partnerships
Localized

47. We also sell
Pony Manure as fertilizer*,
giving us a strong…

48. Weed Tech angle!
*Does not make weed taste like poop

49. And we have strong
aftermarket potential!

50. So how do we market
our amazing product?

51. “WILL THIS GO
VIRAL?”
- Every Guy in
a Vest right
now

52. Hell no! Nobody wants
to be LIKE A VIRUS in 2020.
Instead, we’ll be…

53. VIRAL

54. * She has PhDs from Harvard in
Microbiology, Macrobiology,
Bacteriology, and Business Ethics
And we already found a
great consultant* to help
us achieve this!

55. We also have great
print ads planned:

57. And our influencer
marketing will be FIRE:

59. ALL influencers want to be part of it!

60. “But can I really be
sure this will work?”
- Every Guy in
a Vest right
now

61. Well, do these guys’
predictions mean
anything to you?

62. Episode “Ponies Rule”, February 15, 1954

63. Okay, then let’s talk
about why we’re here:
FUNDRAISING!

64. Shitty
Has Ponies
Has No Ponies
Awesome
We have a
clear USP:

65. 2019 2020 2021 2022 2023 2024 2025 2026 2027 2028 2029 2030 2031 2032
*conservatively estimated
Our (conservative!) revenue
estimates* give you the
perfect hockey stick every
investor is looking for:

66. Team
CEO CMO
Chief Equine Officer Chief Muffin Officer
CFO
Creative Financing Officer
We have a
kick-ass…

67. Blacky
(Stable Genius)
Advisory Board
Lucky
(Stable Genius)
Donald Trump
And an
amazing…

68. The World’s 1st
#Ponycorn
We’re raising
$50M to build…

69. This guy is already
camping in front of
our office…

70. But we’d prefer this guy:
(I mean, talk about FIT!)

71. Ventures
And for future
rounds, these
guys would be
perfect!

72. But if nobody
invests now, we have
creative ideas how to
stay afloat:

74. to I P
Come ride with us
Country!

75. to I P
Come ride with us
Country!
(Sorry, that was
the old slide!)

76. Check out more
Startup Comedy at
www.StartupFunny.com
Learn how to make
awesome pitches from
www.PitchDoctor.com