Multiple Selves?! Growing leaders applied. (The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018)

The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018
Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 1
Multiple Selves?!
Growing leaders applied.
Cosima Laube
The Architecture Gathering, Munich, 2018
#TAG2018
Why are YOU here?

cosima@laube:~$ whoami
Why am I here?

Computer Work it is!
Well, that escalated
happened quickly...

„no people work“ ??
„the easier choice“ ??
Product Development
is People Work

… back to university!
What colleagues thought I do...

…during the day
… what I actually did (mostly)

Bridge Builder & Travel Guide

Leadership starts with YOURSELF

Leadership
“[…] the first person I need to lead is me.
The first person that I should try to
change is me.”
[John C. Maxwell]

Leadership starts with YOUR SELF
Why are YOU here?

Quick Outline
Some science…
„Multiple Selves“ Model
Even more science…
How does the model
work in detail?

How to grow
(with) others?
Where to start
YOUR journey…
How to grow yourself?
„Multiple Selves“
Model
[Atkins & Styles, 2015]

process story
perspec
tive
1. Self as story
story

Self as story
Verbal description of yourself
(„Conceptual Self“)
 memories, experiences, plans, ...
 abstraction of your past
(„Remembering Self“)
 quite stable
 public or private
Pro:
• predictability
• coherence
Con:
- too past-oriented
- often too rigid
- limiting yourself
Self as story

2. Self as process
process
Self as process
Description of experiencing yourself…
(„Experiencing Self“)
 in the present moment
 in a particular context

Self as process
Description of experiencing yourself…
(„Experiencing Self“)
 in the present moment
 in a particular context
Pro:
 socially useful ( predictability)
 basis of self-regulation
3. Self as perspective
perspec
tive

Self as perspective
 can not be observed
(„Transcendental Self“)
 content-free
 only accessible through metaphors
pro-
cess
story
pers
pecti
ve

process story
perspec
tive
process story
perspec
tive

Psychological Flexibility ++

Seeing the „whole“ picture
More options per situation
YOU being the driver

Honoring your values and goals
Psychological Flexibility
 Flexible, authentic, responsive
Self
[Atkins & Parker, 2012]

Psych. Flexibility
Leadership skills
increases
Leadership
Motivation
Self-Management
Self-Awareness

How does it work ?
Multiple Selves Identity

Identity
= behaviour + mental relations
Identity
= behaviour + mental relations
= {
3 senses of self,
social experiences,
human ability to refer to past / future
}

Psych. Flexibility
Leadership skills
Identity
increases
„[how] a person talks about [their]
self is the act of creating an identity“
Identity

Main driver for Identity:
Language
[Relational Frame Theory: Hayes et al. (2001)]
„[how] a person talks about [their]
self is the act of creating an identity“
„… [identity] is NOT a reflection of
some underlying true self.“
Identity

Psych. Flexibility
Leadership skills
Identity
Language
creates
increases
Where to start ?

Talking & learning
about the 3 Selves
is a (self-)coaching intervention
[Berger & Atkins, 2009]
Psych. Flexibility
Leadership skills
Identity
Language
creates
increases

Self-talk
proce
ss
story
pers
pecti
ve

I‘m the most
important one
here….
„I am the king of
<FooBar42>…“
„I‘m the
hero!“

Which examples of self-talk
come to your mind?
Where did it make a difference
how
you talked to yourself?

Best possible Selves
(take-home exercise)
[King, 2001; Blickhan, 2015]

pro-
cess
pers
pecti
ve
story
Mindfulness

Mindfulness
Psych. Flexibility
Leadership skills
Identity
Language
creates
increases
facilitates
Leadership
Motivation
Self-Management
Self-Awareness
Mindfulness

Mindfulness =
focussed attention + witnessing awareness
„A self-regulated attentional stance
oriented towards present-moment experience
that is characterized by
curiosity, openness, and acceptance.“
[Dahl, Lutz, Davidson (2015)]

pro-
cess
pers
pecti
ve
story
Mind-
ful-
ness
What kind of practise
is that ‚mindful practise‘?

Three breaths
pro-
cess
pers
pecti
ve
story
Mind-
ful-
ness

pro-
cess
pers
pecti
ve
story
Mind-
ful-
ness
pro-
cess
pers
pecti
ve
story
Mind-
ful-
ness

process
story
pers
pecti
ve
Mind-
ful-
ness
process
story
pers
pecti
ve
Mind-
ful-
ness

process
story
pers-
pective
Mind-
ful-
ness
process
story
pers-
pective

process
story
pers-
pective
Day Parenting
(take-home)
[Bonifer & Shternshus, 2015]
[Cosima Laube L.I.S.T.E.N. Blog]

How to grow
with others?
One minute to arrive
(individually
or as group check-in)

Noticing
(a.k.a. „Name it to tame it.“)
Leadership
Empathy
Motivation
Self-Management
Self-Awareness
Mindfulness

Shift to connection
(variation of 3 breaths)

Three breaths
Shift to
connection
Noticing
Minute to arrive
/ Check-in
Day Parenting
Best possible
selves
Leadership starts with your SELF

That‘s all I have…
http://cosima-laube.de
Do one thing at a time
(take-home daily exercise)
[Hartley, 2017]

Adding details
[Hartley, 2017]
Sources
on the „Multiple Selves“ model
Atkins, P. W. B., & Styles, R. (2015). Mindfulness, identity and work: mindfulness training
creates a more flexible sense of self. In J. Reb & P. W. B. Atkins (Eds.), Mindfulness in
Organizations: Foundations, research, and applications (pp. 133–162).
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/290490487_Mindfulness_identity_and_work_Mi
ndfulness_training_creates_a_more_flexible_sense_of_self
Atkins, P. W. B., & Parker, S. K. (2012). Understanding Individual Compassion in
Organizations: The Role of Appraisals and Psychological Flexibility. Academy of
Management Review, 37(4), 524–546. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.2010.0490
Hayes, S. C., Barnes-Holmes, D., & Roche, B. (2001). Relational Frame Theory: A Post-
Skinnerian Account of Human Language and Cognition. New York: Plenum Press.
https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2407(02)80063-5
Berger, J. G. and Atkins, P. W. B. (2009). Mapping complexity of mind: using the subject-
object interview in coaching. Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and
Practice, 2 (1), 23-36.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233282213_Mapping_complexity_of_mind_Usin
g_the_subject-object_interview_in_coaching

Sources
on Mindfulness, Work and Leadership
Good, D. J., Lyddy, C. J., Glomb, T. M., Bono, J. E., Brown, K. W., Duffy, M. K., Lazar, S.
W. (2016). Contemplating Mindfulness at Work: An Integrative Review. Journal of
Management, 42(1), 114–142. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206315617003
Shapiro, S. L., Carlson, L. E., Astin, J. A., & Freedman, B. (2006). Mechanisms of
mindfulness. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 62(3), 373–386.
https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.20237
Dahl, C. J., Lutz, A., & Davidson, R. J. (2015). Reconstructing and deconstructing the
self: cognitive mechanisms in meditation practice. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 19(9),
515–523. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2015.07.001
van Dierendonck, D. (2011). Servant Leadership: A Review and Synthesis. Journal of
Management, 37(4), 1228–1261. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206310380462
Systematic iterature review on Mindfulness and Leadership (Bachelor thesis, Cosima
Laube 2017) – available on demand
Sources
Books, exercises & more (1)
Listening and Clean Language
• Hartley, Tamsin(2017): The Listening Space – A New Path to Personal Discovery
Positive Psychology
• Blickhan, D. (2015). Positive Psychologie: ein Handbuch für die Praxis. Paderborn:
Junfermann Verlag.
Best Possible Selves Exercise
• King, L. A. (2001). The health benefits of writing about life goals. Personality and
Social Psychology Bulletin, 27(7), 798–807. doi: 10.1177/0146167201 277003,
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247895325_The_Health_Benefits_of_Writing
_about_Life_Goals
• See pages 152/153 in Blickhan (2015) for a short description in German
Karate Kid: Wax on, Wax off
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ynryUjGFt8
FITNESS TRAINING.

Sources
Books, exercises & more (2)
Improvisation / gamification of mindfulness for business organisations:
• Bonifer, Mike & Shternshus, Jessie (2015): CTRL-Shift
Day Parenting Exercise:
• Cosima Laube L.I.S.T.E.N. Blog: http://blog.cosima-laube.de/blog/20180419_ctrl-
shift_dayParenting
The Hanselminutes Tech Podcast with April Wensel on Compassionate Coding
• https://hanselminutes.com/641/compassionate-coding-with-april-wensel
• 4 days (best) in a row
• 20 minutes per day
• 1 life domain per day
(health, work, partner/family, friends,
treating yourself, …)
Best Possible Self – in a nutshell 1

• first minutes: step mentally into your
future best possible self in that life
domain
• ~15 minutes: be your best possible self
• Write continuously
• How are you?
• What do you do?
• What is important to you?
• Don‘t stop writing!
• Don‘t judge.
• Be surprised!
Best Possible Self – in a nutshell 2
Picture sources & credits
slide 7, 9: https://twitter.com/TheRealSheldonC
slide 14, 16, 26, 42-46: Cosima Laube
slide 62/66: photos from illustrations taken from the German version of the book „Quiet
the self“ by Matthew Johnstone (therefore not included in public versions of these slides!)
all others: http://unsplash.com

Multiple Selves?! Growing leaders applied. (The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018)

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