This is an example of student drafting a practical write up in science.The first draft was critiqued via a teacher led session the second was done independently. The annotations show where improvements are to be found

1. Draft 1
Discussions
with teacher
while student
critique one
an others work

4. Teacher provided
feedback- identified
line of best fit. An
opportunity to
teach

7. Start of student
critique on draft
one.
This was
structured and led
by the teachers
while students
worked in pairs.

8. Student to
student
critique
feedback.
Specific about what didn’t link
Literacy and
thinking
connectives
Love the content review
Again
specific

9. The use of
highlighting
ensures
Self directed feedback is
student to specific
student critique!
A great sign that
the critiquing Love the
culture is taking could use-
hold signalling
kind
feedback
Again
content
knowledge
Again
kind –
maybe...

10. Specific Kind
and helpful

13. Clearer prediction Linking
independent and dependant
variable. No Misconception
about heat in prediction.
More consistent use of
appropriate vocabulary

14. Greater level of detail allowing
the method to be followed
Idea of monitoring other
factors

15. Range made clear
Precision of method
considered

17. Data processed- difference and
patterns calculated
Conclusion uses data to describe
pattern, link independent
variable and dependent variable