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Sancta Maria Mater et Regina Seminarium
Archdiocese of Capiz
Cagay, Roxas City
Prepared by: Sem. Emmanuel P. Andrada
1 DAY RECOLLECTION MODULE
Theme: “My Choices and Decisions in Life”
Audience:
Graduating students’ Highschool or C ollege.
Objectives:
Participants will recognize their personal strengths and enhance their choices and
decisions in life.
Participants will be provided an opportunity to compare their positive self-concepts with
others’ positive perception of them.
Participants will be introduced to the concept of making good decision.
Context
Decision: the act of or need for making up one’s mind. Choice: the right, power, or
opportunity to choose. When you dive in deeper, the origins of the two words are interesting.
Decision comes from ―cutting off‖ while choice comes from ―to perceive.‖ Taking the origins
and definitions together, we may gain some clarity. With decision, it is more of a process
orientation, meaning we are going through analysis and steps to eliminate (or, cut off) options.
With choice, it is more of a mindset approach, meaning we have a perception of what the right or
wrong choice may be. We can spend our lifetime making all sorts of decisions, yet we spend
little, if any, time making distinctive life choices. We may need to focus more on making choices
than making decisions. We need to make real and necessary choices on how to lead our life in
the most purposeful way possible.
Handouts & Resources Needed:
Handout 1.1: Father's Love Letter
Handout 1.2: Self-Esteem Defined
Handout 1.3: Freedom
Sheet of paper - one for each participant
Pens/pencils
Time Guide and Reminders for Facilitator:
7:00 am – 7:30 am - DEPARTURE & ARRIVAL
7:30 am – 8:30 am - INTRODUCTIONS AND SETTLING DOWN
8:30 am – 9:30 am - FIRST ACTIVITY
9:30 am – 10: 00 am - BREAK
10:00 – 11:00 am - SECOND SESSION
11:00 am – 11:45 am - GROUP SHARING w/ GUIDE QUESTIONS
11:45 am – 1:00 pm -LUNCH BREAK
1:00 pm – 2:00 pm - RECAP & THIRD SESSION
2:00 pm – 3:30 pm - RECONCILIATION ACTIVITY
3:30 pm – 4:00 pm - SACRAMENT OF RECONCILIATION
4:00 pm -HOLY EUCHARIST
Prepare and Dispose yourself
Be creative
Pray for yourself and for your participants
Always remember that you are God’s instrument, all glory belong to Him
Be flexible
Enjoy… it is enjoyable and fruitful experience
INTRODUCTIONS AND SETTLING DOWN
Procedure:
Let them think of themselves alone
Let them think not to worries about the things they left at home.
Let them forget just this very moment their problems, assignments, requirements, etc.
Lead them to pray, thanking all the blessings they receive.
Read; God’s Love Letter. (Handout 1.1)
Introduce yourself
Let them introduce themselves to all one by one
Ask them to pick-up things around that could describe them.
Debriefing
Activity #1: Who do you think you are?
Procedure:
Icebreaker
The purpose of this activity is for participants to understand how you see your self is one
of the key factors in your life.
Explain self-image or self-esteem for the personal growth. Who we are, not what we are.
( Handout 1.2)
That the participants will realize that they are the most important thing in the universe
because we are created in the image and likeness of God.
Debriefing
Activity #2: Common Errors Concerning Self-Image
Procedure:
Icebreaker
The purpose of this activity is for participants not to think too lowly of ourselves.
To make them realized that true humility is one of the best qualities a person can have.
Eating humble pie.
That the participants will be enlighten that freedom is not doing what you want but doing
what is good and should not think too highly of ourselves. (Handout 1.3)
Debriefing
Guide questions for group sharing
1. Did I make decision which hurt m Parents, Siblings, Friends and Classmates?
2. Is my decision consistent with my goals or what I want to be, my sense of where God is
leading me?
Activity #3: Tips to improve your self-image
Procedure:
Icebreaker
The purpose of this activity is for participants to understand and remember; God loves
you and accepts you, no strings attached. YOU MATTER TO GOD.
Let them remember that God is always forgives and waiting to turn us from our sinful
ways.
To let them realize that a real friend can confide you in terms of problem.
Tell them that smiling, and show it in how you look and how important are smiling in
life.
For the participants to have a mature choices and decisions in life.
Debriefing
RECONCILIATION ACTIVITY
Procedure:
Icebreaker
The purpose of this activity is for participants to have courage in asking forgiveness
from those they have hurt.
Make them realize to do penance for the wrong thing they have done.
Invite the participants to forgive and pray those who have hurt them and those they
have hurt.
The facilitator make clear to the participants about the reconciliation requires a
sincere change of life. By reestablishing our relationship with God and others, we
commit ourselves to change our behavior, our attitudes, our ways of life by receiving
the Sacrament of Reconciliation. (Handout 1.4)
Debriefing
Handout 1.1
Father's Love Letter
An Intimate Message From God To You.
My Child,
You may not know me, but I know everything about you. (Psalm 139:1) I know when
you sit down and when you rise up. (Psalm 139:2) I am familiar with all your ways. (Psalm
139:3)Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. (Matthew 10:29-31)For you were made in
my image. (Genesis 1:27) In me you live and move and have your being. (Acts 17:28) For you
are my offspring. (Acts 17:28) I knew you even before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:4-5)
I chose you when I planned creation. (Ephesians 1:11-12) You were not a mistake, for all
your days are written in my book. (Psalm 139:15-16) I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live. (Acts 17:26) You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
I knit you together in your mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13) And brought you forth on the day
you were born. (Psalm 71:6) I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. (John
8:41-44) I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. (1 John 4:16) And it
is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1 John 3:) Simply because you are my child and I am
your Father. (1 John 3:1)
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. (Matthew 7:11) For I am the perfect
father. (Matthew 5:48) Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. (James 1:17)For I
am your provider and I meet all your needs. (Matthew 6:31-33) My plan for your future has
always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Because I love you with an everlasting love.
(Jeremiah 31:3) My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. (Psalms
139:17-18)And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
I will never stop doing good to you. (Jeremiah 32:40) For you are my treasured
possession. (Exodus 19:5) I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. (Jeremiah
32:41) And I want to show you great and marvelous things. (Jeremiah 33:3) If you seek me with
all your heart, you will find me. (Deuteronomy 4:29) Delight in me and I will give you the
desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4) For it is I who gave you those desires. (Philippians 2:13) I am
able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. (Ephesians 3:20) For I am your
greatest encourager. (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)I am also the Father who comforts you in all your
troubles. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. (Psalm 34:18) As
a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. (Isaiah 40:11) One day I will
wipe away every tear from your eyes. (Revelation 21:3-4) And I'll take away all the pain you
have suffered on this earth. (Revelation 21:3-4)
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. (John 17:23) For in Jesus,
my love for you is revealed. (John 17:26)He is the exact representation of my being. (Hebrews
1:3) He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. (Romans 8:31) And to tell you
that I am not counting your sins. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)Jesus died so that you and I could be
reconciled. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19) His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. (1
John 4:10) I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. (Romans 8:31-32)
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. (1 John 2:23)And nothing will
ever separate you from my love again. (Romans 8:38-39) Come home and I'll throw the biggest
party heaven has ever seen. (Luke 15:7) I have always been Father, and will always be Father.
(Ephesians 3:14-15) My question is… Will you be my child? (John 1:12-13) I am waiting for
you. (Luke 15:11-32)……………………………………………………………………………….
Love, Your Dad
Almighty God
Handout 1.2
Self-Esteem Defined
We all have a mental picture of who we are, how we look, what we're good at, and what our
weaknesses might be. We develop this picture over time, starting when we're very young. The
term self-image is used to refer to a person's mental picture of himself or herself. A lot of our
self-image is based on interactions we have with other people and our life experiences. This
mental picture (our self-image) contributes to our self-esteem.
Self-esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others
— and how much we value, love, and accept ourselves. People with healthy self-esteem are able
to feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities, skills,
and accomplishments. People with low self-esteem may feel as if no one will like them or accept
them or that they can't do well in anything.
We all experience problems with self-esteem at certain times in our lives — especially during
our teens when we're figuring out who we are and where we fit in the world. The good news is
that, because everyone's self-image changes over time, self-esteem is not fixed for life. So if you
feel that your self-esteem isn't all it could be, you can improve it.
Self-Esteem Problems
Before a person can overcome self-esteem problems and build healthy self-esteem, it helps to
know what might cause those problems in the first place. Two things in particular — how others
see or treat us and how we see ourselves — can have a big impact on our self-esteem.
Parents, teachers, and other authority figures influence the ideas we develop about ourselves —
particularly when we're little kids. If parents spend more time criticizing than praising a child, it
can be harder for a kid to develop good self-esteem. Because teens are still forming their own
values and beliefs, it's easy to build self-image around what a parent, coach, or other person says.
Obviously, self-esteem can be damaged when someone whose acceptance is important (like a
parent or teacher) constantly puts you down. But criticism doesn't have to come from other
people. Some teens also have an "inner critic," a voice inside that seems to find fault with
everything they do. And people sometimes unintentionally model their inner voice after a critical
parent or someone else whose opinion is important to them.
Over time, listening to a negative inner voice can harm a person's self-esteem just as much as if
the criticism were coming from another person. Some people get so used to their inner critic
being there that they don't even notice when they're putting themselves down.
Unrealistic expectations can also affect someone's self-esteem. People have an image of who
they want to be (or who they think they should be). Everyone's image of the ideal person is
different. For example, some people admire athletic skills and others admire academic abilities.
People who see themselves as having the qualities they admire — such as the ability to make
friends easily — usually have high self-esteem. People who don't see themselves as having the
qualities they admire may develop low self-esteem. Unfortunately, people who have low self-
esteem often do have the qualities they admire. They just can't see it because their self-image is
trained that way.
Why Is Self-Esteem Important?
How we feel about ourselves can influence how we live our lives. People who feel that they're
likable and lovable (in other words, people with good self-esteem) have better relationships.
They're more likely to ask for help and support from friends and family when they need it.
People who believe they can accomplish goals and solve problems are more likely to do well in
school. Having good self-esteem allows you to accept yourself and live life to the fullest.
Steps to Improving Self-Esteem
If you want to improve your self-esteem, here are some steps to start empowering yourself:
Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. If you're used to focusing on
your shortcomings, start thinking about positive aspects of yourself that outweigh them.
When you catch yourself being too critical, counter it by saying something positive about
yourself. Each day, write down three things about yourself that make you happy.
Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection. Some people become paralyzed by
perfection. Instead of holding yourself back with thoughts like, "I won't audition for the
play until I lose 10 pounds," think about what you're good at and what you enjoy, and go
for it.
View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes because
everyone does. Mistakes are part of learning. Remind yourself that a person's talents are
constantly developing, and everyone excels at different things — it's what makes people
interesting.
Try new things. Experiment with different activities that will help you get in touch with
your talents. Then take pride in new skills you develop.
Recognize what you can change and what you can't. If you realize that you're unhappy
with something about yourself that you can change, then start today. If it's something you
can't change (like your height), then start to work toward loving yourself the way you are.
Set goals. Think about what you'd like to accomplish, then make a plan for how to do it.
Stick with your plan and keep track of your progress.
Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Don't be afraid to voice them.
Make a contribution. Tutor a classmate who's having trouble, help clean up your
neighborhood, participate in a walkathon for a good cause, or volunteer your time in
some other way. Feeling like you're making a difference and that your help is valued can
do wonders to improve self-esteem.
Exercise! You'll relieve stress, and be healthier and happier.
Have fun. Ever found yourself thinking stuff like "I'd have more friends if I were
thinner"? Enjoy spending time with the people you care about and doing the things you
love. Relax and have a good time — and avoid putting your life on hold.
It's never too late to build healthy, positive self-esteem. In some cases where the emotional hurt
is deep or long lasting, it can require the help of a mental health professional, like a counselor or
therapist. These experts can act as a guide, helping people learn to love themselves and realize
what's unique and special about them.
Self-esteem plays a role in almost everything you do. People with high self-esteem do better in
school and find it easier to make friends. They tend to have better relationships with peers and
adults; feel happier; find it easier to deal with mistakes, disappointments, and failures; and are
more likely to stick with something until they succeed.
It takes some work to develop good self-esteem, but once you do it's a skill you'll have for life.
Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: May 2012
Handout 1.3
Freedom
(1) Freedom of Creature is not absolute & limited.
(2) Shared Freedom is independence and communion with God.
(3) It is not individual freedom but also social freedom –It is the relation to others; one
cannot be free unless you are respecting the rights of others.
(4) True Freedom is Freedom to do good; it is the capacity to give oneself to others and
dedicated spontaneously to serve others.
Handout 1.4
Reconciliation
Reconciliation is the work not only of individuals, but of the faith community and of
society. Conflicts that consume the world are rooted in unresolved wrongs—imagined or real,
deliberate or involuntary—that retain their power to provoke discord, hostility, factions,
discrimination, violence, and warfare. As Catholic Christians, our faith calls us to be reconciling
persons and to be members of a reconciling community. Our baptism incorporates us into the
reconciling mission of Jesus Christ. In Christ we are called to forgive one another, to reconcile
our differences, and to heal our souls and our world from all our brokenness. Lent, is also the
ideal time to renew our understanding, appreciation, and practice of the Sacrament of penance
and reconciliation. In this Sacrament, we confess our sins to Christ and are relieved of their
burden. We experience, through the absolution of the priest, Christ's forgiveness and mercy.
Action steps:
Brainstorm actions and projects that can promote forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing.
(One example of such an action is to conduct a reconciliation service to seek and to
receive pardon as individuals and as a community.)
Separate the ideas according to the following levels:
 Actions to be undertaken at the personal level
 Actions requiring the participation of different groups within the faith community
 Actions involving the whole faith community and/or the local civic community
Prioritize those actions that are most important and urgent, and develop a plan to
implement them.
To prepare for this Sacrament, remember:
Reconciliation is an act of faith. Christ has revealed to us God's love for us to the point
that he took the initiative to forgive our sins.
Reconciliation requires an attitude of humbleness. Only the proud cannot see their
mistakes. By recognizing our weakness we are able to repair them.
Reconciliation requires a sincere change of life. By reestablishing our relationship with
God and others, we commit ourselves to change our behavior, our attitudes, our ways of
life.
Here are some ways to prepare for reconciliation:
Be well prepared.
Dedicate some time to reflect on your life. "Clean your own house."
Accept the pain.
Recognize your faults and accept the feelings this may cause.
Develop a plan of action for a change of life.
Think of the aspect, attitude, behavior, or action that you want to change and take action.
Take your time.
Do not rush yourself. While confessing, allow time to express yourself clearly. Listen.
Make the effort to avoid committing the same mistake….
Establish ways to avoid sin.
Receive the grace of God.
Believe God has forgiven you, because he is Merciful. If you have the opportunity,
confess your sins to a priest.
Now that you have reestablished your relationship with God, select an action in which
you can promote forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing.
What actions would you take at the personal level?
What actions would you take to enhance your relationship with others?
What actions would you take to improve the life of your community? (i.e. accepting
others who are different; helping the more needy; etc.)
Make a list of those actions and invite others to implement them.

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1 day recollection module

  • 1. Sancta Maria Mater et Regina Seminarium Archdiocese of Capiz Cagay, Roxas City Prepared by: Sem. Emmanuel P. Andrada 1 DAY RECOLLECTION MODULE Theme: “My Choices and Decisions in Life” Audience: Graduating students’ Highschool or C ollege. Objectives: Participants will recognize their personal strengths and enhance their choices and decisions in life. Participants will be provided an opportunity to compare their positive self-concepts with others’ positive perception of them. Participants will be introduced to the concept of making good decision. Context Decision: the act of or need for making up one’s mind. Choice: the right, power, or opportunity to choose. When you dive in deeper, the origins of the two words are interesting. Decision comes from ―cutting off‖ while choice comes from ―to perceive.‖ Taking the origins and definitions together, we may gain some clarity. With decision, it is more of a process orientation, meaning we are going through analysis and steps to eliminate (or, cut off) options. With choice, it is more of a mindset approach, meaning we have a perception of what the right or wrong choice may be. We can spend our lifetime making all sorts of decisions, yet we spend little, if any, time making distinctive life choices. We may need to focus more on making choices than making decisions. We need to make real and necessary choices on how to lead our life in the most purposeful way possible. Handouts & Resources Needed: Handout 1.1: Father's Love Letter Handout 1.2: Self-Esteem Defined Handout 1.3: Freedom Sheet of paper - one for each participant Pens/pencils
  • 2. Time Guide and Reminders for Facilitator: 7:00 am – 7:30 am - DEPARTURE & ARRIVAL 7:30 am – 8:30 am - INTRODUCTIONS AND SETTLING DOWN 8:30 am – 9:30 am - FIRST ACTIVITY 9:30 am – 10: 00 am - BREAK 10:00 – 11:00 am - SECOND SESSION 11:00 am – 11:45 am - GROUP SHARING w/ GUIDE QUESTIONS 11:45 am – 1:00 pm -LUNCH BREAK 1:00 pm – 2:00 pm - RECAP & THIRD SESSION 2:00 pm – 3:30 pm - RECONCILIATION ACTIVITY 3:30 pm – 4:00 pm - SACRAMENT OF RECONCILIATION 4:00 pm -HOLY EUCHARIST Prepare and Dispose yourself Be creative Pray for yourself and for your participants Always remember that you are God’s instrument, all glory belong to Him Be flexible Enjoy… it is enjoyable and fruitful experience
  • 3. INTRODUCTIONS AND SETTLING DOWN Procedure: Let them think of themselves alone Let them think not to worries about the things they left at home. Let them forget just this very moment their problems, assignments, requirements, etc. Lead them to pray, thanking all the blessings they receive. Read; God’s Love Letter. (Handout 1.1) Introduce yourself Let them introduce themselves to all one by one Ask them to pick-up things around that could describe them. Debriefing Activity #1: Who do you think you are? Procedure: Icebreaker The purpose of this activity is for participants to understand how you see your self is one of the key factors in your life. Explain self-image or self-esteem for the personal growth. Who we are, not what we are. ( Handout 1.2) That the participants will realize that they are the most important thing in the universe because we are created in the image and likeness of God. Debriefing Activity #2: Common Errors Concerning Self-Image Procedure: Icebreaker The purpose of this activity is for participants not to think too lowly of ourselves. To make them realized that true humility is one of the best qualities a person can have. Eating humble pie. That the participants will be enlighten that freedom is not doing what you want but doing what is good and should not think too highly of ourselves. (Handout 1.3) Debriefing Guide questions for group sharing 1. Did I make decision which hurt m Parents, Siblings, Friends and Classmates? 2. Is my decision consistent with my goals or what I want to be, my sense of where God is leading me? Activity #3: Tips to improve your self-image
  • 4. Procedure: Icebreaker The purpose of this activity is for participants to understand and remember; God loves you and accepts you, no strings attached. YOU MATTER TO GOD. Let them remember that God is always forgives and waiting to turn us from our sinful ways. To let them realize that a real friend can confide you in terms of problem. Tell them that smiling, and show it in how you look and how important are smiling in life. For the participants to have a mature choices and decisions in life. Debriefing RECONCILIATION ACTIVITY Procedure: Icebreaker The purpose of this activity is for participants to have courage in asking forgiveness from those they have hurt. Make them realize to do penance for the wrong thing they have done. Invite the participants to forgive and pray those who have hurt them and those they have hurt. The facilitator make clear to the participants about the reconciliation requires a sincere change of life. By reestablishing our relationship with God and others, we commit ourselves to change our behavior, our attitudes, our ways of life by receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation. (Handout 1.4) Debriefing
  • 5. Handout 1.1 Father's Love Letter An Intimate Message From God To You. My Child, You may not know me, but I know everything about you. (Psalm 139:1) I know when you sit down and when you rise up. (Psalm 139:2) I am familiar with all your ways. (Psalm 139:3)Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. (Matthew 10:29-31)For you were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27) In me you live and move and have your being. (Acts 17:28) For you are my offspring. (Acts 17:28) I knew you even before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:4-5) I chose you when I planned creation. (Ephesians 1:11-12) You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. (Psalm 139:15-16) I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. (Acts 17:26) You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) I knit you together in your mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13) And brought you forth on the day you were born. (Psalm 71:6) I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. (John 8:41-44) I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. (1 John 4:16) And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1 John 3:) Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. (1 John 3:1) I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. (Matthew 7:11) For I am the perfect father. (Matthew 5:48) Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. (James 1:17)For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. (Matthew 6:31-33) My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Because I love you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3) My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. (Psalms 139:17-18)And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17) I will never stop doing good to you. (Jeremiah 32:40) For you are my treasured possession. (Exodus 19:5) I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. (Jeremiah 32:41) And I want to show you great and marvelous things. (Jeremiah 33:3) If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. (Deuteronomy 4:29) Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4) For it is I who gave you those desires. (Philippians 2:13) I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. (Ephesians 3:20) For I am your greatest encourager. (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. (Psalm 34:18) As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. (Isaiah 40:11) One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. (Revelation 21:3-4) And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. (Revelation 21:3-4) I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. (John 17:23) For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. (John 17:26)He is the exact representation of my being. (Hebrews 1:3) He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. (Romans 8:31) And to tell you
  • 6. that I am not counting your sins. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19) His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. (1 John 4:10) I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. (Romans 8:31-32) If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. (1 John 2:23)And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. (Romans 8:38-39) Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. (Luke 15:7) I have always been Father, and will always be Father. (Ephesians 3:14-15) My question is… Will you be my child? (John 1:12-13) I am waiting for you. (Luke 15:11-32)………………………………………………………………………………. Love, Your Dad Almighty God Handout 1.2 Self-Esteem Defined We all have a mental picture of who we are, how we look, what we're good at, and what our weaknesses might be. We develop this picture over time, starting when we're very young. The term self-image is used to refer to a person's mental picture of himself or herself. A lot of our self-image is based on interactions we have with other people and our life experiences. This mental picture (our self-image) contributes to our self-esteem. Self-esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others — and how much we value, love, and accept ourselves. People with healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities, skills, and accomplishments. People with low self-esteem may feel as if no one will like them or accept them or that they can't do well in anything. We all experience problems with self-esteem at certain times in our lives — especially during our teens when we're figuring out who we are and where we fit in the world. The good news is that, because everyone's self-image changes over time, self-esteem is not fixed for life. So if you feel that your self-esteem isn't all it could be, you can improve it. Self-Esteem Problems Before a person can overcome self-esteem problems and build healthy self-esteem, it helps to know what might cause those problems in the first place. Two things in particular — how others see or treat us and how we see ourselves — can have a big impact on our self-esteem. Parents, teachers, and other authority figures influence the ideas we develop about ourselves — particularly when we're little kids. If parents spend more time criticizing than praising a child, it can be harder for a kid to develop good self-esteem. Because teens are still forming their own values and beliefs, it's easy to build self-image around what a parent, coach, or other person says.
  • 7. Obviously, self-esteem can be damaged when someone whose acceptance is important (like a parent or teacher) constantly puts you down. But criticism doesn't have to come from other people. Some teens also have an "inner critic," a voice inside that seems to find fault with everything they do. And people sometimes unintentionally model their inner voice after a critical parent or someone else whose opinion is important to them. Over time, listening to a negative inner voice can harm a person's self-esteem just as much as if the criticism were coming from another person. Some people get so used to their inner critic being there that they don't even notice when they're putting themselves down. Unrealistic expectations can also affect someone's self-esteem. People have an image of who they want to be (or who they think they should be). Everyone's image of the ideal person is different. For example, some people admire athletic skills and others admire academic abilities. People who see themselves as having the qualities they admire — such as the ability to make friends easily — usually have high self-esteem. People who don't see themselves as having the qualities they admire may develop low self-esteem. Unfortunately, people who have low self- esteem often do have the qualities they admire. They just can't see it because their self-image is trained that way. Why Is Self-Esteem Important? How we feel about ourselves can influence how we live our lives. People who feel that they're likable and lovable (in other words, people with good self-esteem) have better relationships. They're more likely to ask for help and support from friends and family when they need it. People who believe they can accomplish goals and solve problems are more likely to do well in school. Having good self-esteem allows you to accept yourself and live life to the fullest. Steps to Improving Self-Esteem If you want to improve your self-esteem, here are some steps to start empowering yourself: Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. If you're used to focusing on your shortcomings, start thinking about positive aspects of yourself that outweigh them. When you catch yourself being too critical, counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Each day, write down three things about yourself that make you happy. Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection. Some people become paralyzed by perfection. Instead of holding yourself back with thoughts like, "I won't audition for the play until I lose 10 pounds," think about what you're good at and what you enjoy, and go for it. View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes because everyone does. Mistakes are part of learning. Remind yourself that a person's talents are constantly developing, and everyone excels at different things — it's what makes people interesting. Try new things. Experiment with different activities that will help you get in touch with your talents. Then take pride in new skills you develop.
  • 8. Recognize what you can change and what you can't. If you realize that you're unhappy with something about yourself that you can change, then start today. If it's something you can't change (like your height), then start to work toward loving yourself the way you are. Set goals. Think about what you'd like to accomplish, then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan and keep track of your progress. Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Don't be afraid to voice them. Make a contribution. Tutor a classmate who's having trouble, help clean up your neighborhood, participate in a walkathon for a good cause, or volunteer your time in some other way. Feeling like you're making a difference and that your help is valued can do wonders to improve self-esteem. Exercise! You'll relieve stress, and be healthier and happier. Have fun. Ever found yourself thinking stuff like "I'd have more friends if I were thinner"? Enjoy spending time with the people you care about and doing the things you love. Relax and have a good time — and avoid putting your life on hold. It's never too late to build healthy, positive self-esteem. In some cases where the emotional hurt is deep or long lasting, it can require the help of a mental health professional, like a counselor or therapist. These experts can act as a guide, helping people learn to love themselves and realize what's unique and special about them. Self-esteem plays a role in almost everything you do. People with high self-esteem do better in school and find it easier to make friends. They tend to have better relationships with peers and adults; feel happier; find it easier to deal with mistakes, disappointments, and failures; and are more likely to stick with something until they succeed. It takes some work to develop good self-esteem, but once you do it's a skill you'll have for life. Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD Date reviewed: May 2012 Handout 1.3 Freedom (1) Freedom of Creature is not absolute & limited. (2) Shared Freedom is independence and communion with God. (3) It is not individual freedom but also social freedom –It is the relation to others; one cannot be free unless you are respecting the rights of others. (4) True Freedom is Freedom to do good; it is the capacity to give oneself to others and dedicated spontaneously to serve others.
  • 9. Handout 1.4 Reconciliation Reconciliation is the work not only of individuals, but of the faith community and of society. Conflicts that consume the world are rooted in unresolved wrongs—imagined or real, deliberate or involuntary—that retain their power to provoke discord, hostility, factions, discrimination, violence, and warfare. As Catholic Christians, our faith calls us to be reconciling persons and to be members of a reconciling community. Our baptism incorporates us into the reconciling mission of Jesus Christ. In Christ we are called to forgive one another, to reconcile our differences, and to heal our souls and our world from all our brokenness. Lent, is also the ideal time to renew our understanding, appreciation, and practice of the Sacrament of penance and reconciliation. In this Sacrament, we confess our sins to Christ and are relieved of their burden. We experience, through the absolution of the priest, Christ's forgiveness and mercy. Action steps: Brainstorm actions and projects that can promote forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing. (One example of such an action is to conduct a reconciliation service to seek and to receive pardon as individuals and as a community.) Separate the ideas according to the following levels:  Actions to be undertaken at the personal level  Actions requiring the participation of different groups within the faith community  Actions involving the whole faith community and/or the local civic community Prioritize those actions that are most important and urgent, and develop a plan to implement them. To prepare for this Sacrament, remember: Reconciliation is an act of faith. Christ has revealed to us God's love for us to the point that he took the initiative to forgive our sins. Reconciliation requires an attitude of humbleness. Only the proud cannot see their mistakes. By recognizing our weakness we are able to repair them. Reconciliation requires a sincere change of life. By reestablishing our relationship with God and others, we commit ourselves to change our behavior, our attitudes, our ways of life. Here are some ways to prepare for reconciliation: Be well prepared. Dedicate some time to reflect on your life. "Clean your own house." Accept the pain. Recognize your faults and accept the feelings this may cause. Develop a plan of action for a change of life. Think of the aspect, attitude, behavior, or action that you want to change and take action.
  • 10. Take your time. Do not rush yourself. While confessing, allow time to express yourself clearly. Listen. Make the effort to avoid committing the same mistake…. Establish ways to avoid sin. Receive the grace of God. Believe God has forgiven you, because he is Merciful. If you have the opportunity, confess your sins to a priest. Now that you have reestablished your relationship with God, select an action in which you can promote forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing. What actions would you take at the personal level? What actions would you take to enhance your relationship with others? What actions would you take to improve the life of your community? (i.e. accepting others who are different; helping the more needy; etc.) Make a list of those actions and invite others to implement them.