The document provides 12 practices for building resilience when creating change. These include hunting the good by writing down positive things each day, setting meaningful goals, remembering how doors have closed but others opened, naming emotions felt, writing self-compassion letters, changing negative self stories, using character strengths, not exaggerating problems, expressing gratitude, experiencing awe, spending time with friends and family, and nourishing one's body through healthy behaviors. The document encourages developing these "change muscles" to sustain oneself through difficult challenges. It promotes Lois Kelly's books and training services on resilience.
Build Resiliency Muscles with 12 Self-Care Practices
1. RESILIENCY FOR REBELS (and everyone else)!
Practices to build change muscles!
@LoisKelly | @RebelsAtWork!
2. “Thanks for emphasizing the
necessary rebel self-care to keep
us engaged as happy warriors.”!
“The CEO doesn’t want you to talk
about self-care because he thinks it’s
too soft. But between you and me?
That’s what we REALLY need here.”!
Boy, were we surprised when
Rebels told us they wanted
MANY MORE ideas about self
care. !
!
Why? Creating change always
takes longer and is more
difficult than we think. To go
the distance we need to take
good care of ourselves.!
3. All lasting change requires
new practices to build our
change muscles.!
Here are my 12 favorite
practices, all grounded in
Positive Psychology
research.!
Lois Kelly!
4. HUNT THE GOOD!
Every night write down the three things
that went well. !
!
This makes you feel good about all that
IS going well in your life and work. !
5. DARE TO SET !
“WANT TO” GOALS!
!
Set a goal for something you really
want to do vs. what you have to do.!
!
Achieving meaningful goals boosts
our resiliency.!
!
6. DOOR OPEN,!
DOOR CLOSED!
Think back on three times in your life where a door
“closed.” It could have been a job, a missed
promotion, a relationship. Then think about what new
doors subsequently opened. Write them down.!
!
Remembering that good things have come after
disappointments before in our life helps us get
through tough situations and recover more quickly.!
7. NAME THAT EMOTION!
!
When you’re emotional, name the
feeling. !
!
Naming a feeling helps us calm down
and think more rationally and creatively. !
!
8. SELF-COMPASSION LETTER!
• Remember a difficult or stressful situation and how it affected
you. !
!
• Acknowledge your feelings or thoughts, as well as what you
(were or are) hoping for and needing. e.g., “Dear Donna, I know
that you are feeling [sad/afraid/angry/disappointed in yourself, etc.].
You were really [looking forward to…/trying your best to…, etc.]” !
!
• Write about both the stress/suffering and the core need
underneath it: a desire for health, safety, appreciation, connection,
achievement, etc.!
!
• Offer a message of common humanity. e.g., all humans make
mistakes, sometimes fail, get angry, experience disappointment, etc. !
• Mentor yourself with some compassionate advice or
encouragement. What would you say to a good friend or family
member in this situation? !
!
• After writing the letter, read it out loud to yourself, or put it
away and bring it out when you need some self-compassion.
This letter writing will help you make sense of difficult
situations and make you happier.!
9. CHANGE YOUR STORY!
Change the story of how you think
about yourself and your life to one
that is more positive, though still
grounded in realities. !
!
You will begin to focus more on
the positive aspects of your life,
improving your well-being. !
10. USE YOUR CHARACTER!
STRENGTHS!
Know, use and celebrate your
intrinsic character strengths.*!
!
Living the best version of
ourselves gives meaning and
fulfillment to our lives and our
work.!
* To iden)fy your character strengths: www.viacharacter.org
11. DON’T MAKE A HIMALYAN!
OUT OF A MOUNTAIN!
When the sh*t hits the fan, don’t
become a drama king or queen,
making the situation bigger than it
is. !
!
Remember most bad events aren’t
permanent, and are likely to have
happened no matter what you
could have said or did.!
!
Being realistic vs. pessimistic and
overly dramatic helps us better
deal with difficult situations. !
12. LOVE THY!
TEAM MEMBERS!
Thank and appreciate your team members
for specific things they do that make work
better.!
!
Expressing gratitude improves people’s
self-worth and likelihood of helping one
another. It is also the most sustainable
motivator at work.!
13. SAVOR THE AWE
Savor the sense of wonder and beauty
wherever you see it.!
!
Experiencing a sense of awe promotes
altruism, loving-kindness, and magnanimous
behavior. !
14. MAKE A FRIENDS!
AND FAMILY PLAN!
Spend more time with family and friends
having fun. Schedule time so it happens.!
!
People who spend more time with others
are much happier than those who spend a
lot of time alone. !
These are my funny and amazing sisters.
15. NOURISH!
YOUR BODY!
Eat well. Sleep soundly. Move joyously. Sing with
abandon. Groove to your music. Take a big breath.!
!
Dancing, singing, storytelling and silence are the four
universal salves for the soul.!
16. 16!
Create positive change! Use resiliency in dying! Dare to tell your stories!
Books on resiliency and bravery by Lois Kelly!
Available at Amazon.com!
17. For more information on one-day master
classes on creating positive for your
organization and 6-week team resiliency
programs, please get in touch with Lois
at lkelly@foghound.com.!
www.foghound.com! www.rebelsatwork.com!