Trauma informed coach slides for Integrate Training from Helen Oakwater
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Attachment, trauma, wall of childrens developmental needs, classroom behaviour,
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Trauma informed coach slides for Integrate Training from Helen Oakwater
- 1. Slides used by Helen Oakwater during a section of “Trauma Informed Coach” training for Integrate Training with Joanna Harper : July 2020 https://www.integratetraining.co.uk https://fabparents.co.uk Joanna Harper Helen Oakwater @HelenOakwater Intellectual property and © Helen Oakwater 2020 Do not reproduce without written permission © Helen Oakwater 2020
- 3. Curious? Why different response from each child? What lurks below the presenting behaviour for SANDY ? TAMIE? TIM ? © Helen Oakwater 2020
- 5. Baby experiences discomfort or a need Baby calms trust develops Baby plays and interacts with mother Baby rests Mother picks baby up, eye contact, talks to and soothes baby Baby protests, usually by crying Secure Attachment Cycle: “normal child development” © Helen Oakwater 2017 SANDY
- 6. I am safe I am loved I am cared for I am valued I can trust adults I’m special I’m okay It’s a safe place People love me People care for me There is a place for me here I am important to them The world is okay ATTACHMENT BETWEEN CHILD AND OTHERS SANDY : Securely Attached, Normal Development, Youngster © Helen Oakwater 2017 BELIEFS
- 7. Baby plays with self or becomes apathetic Baby protests even louder Baby protests, usually by crying Mother does not respond to baby’s cry or responds inconsistently Baby experiences discomfort or a need Baby gives up. Rage &/or Apathy develop instead of trust Mother responds with anger , resentment or does not respond Baby rests Disturbed Attachment Cycle “distorted child development” © Helen Oakwater 2017 TAMIE
- 8. I am in danger I’m scared I am not cared for I’m small I’m not valued It’s a terrifying world People are scary Dangerous place Threats are everywhere Be invisible The world is not okay POOR ATTACHMENT BETWEEN CHILD AND OTHERS I’m alone TAMIE: Terrified, Anxious, Maligned, Insecure Emotionally © Helen Oakwater 2017 BELIEFS
- 9. Baby plays with self or becomes apathetic Baby protests even louder Baby protests, usually by crying Mother does not respond to baby’s cry or responds inconsistently Baby experiences discomfort or a need Baby gives up. Rage &/or Apathy develop instead of trust Mother responds with anger , resentment or does not respond Baby rests Disturbed Attachment Cycle “distorted child development” © Helen Oakwater 2017 TIM
- 10. I am not safe I’m terrified I am not cared for I am unlovable I’m ignored I’m not valued I’m bad It’s a hostile world People hurt you Dangerous unpredictable place There is no place for me Nothing is important The world is not okay POOR ATTACHMENT BETWEEN CHILD AND OTHERS I’m alone TIM: Traumatised Infant Maltreated © Helen Oakwater 2017 BELIEFS
- 11. Insecure attachments (David Howe UEA) Childs Behavioural Characteristics Ambivalent hyperactivation of attachment coercive passive dependent NEED + ANGER Disorganised fear/compliance compulsive caregiving controlling aggressive RAGE + FEAR + SADNESS Avoidant defended emotions inhibited compliant self sufficient independent ANGER + FEAR © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 12. Insecure attachments (David Howe UEA) Caregivers characteristics Ambivalent insensitive under involved inconsistent anxious uncertain Disorganised frightening frightened helpless abdicates responsibility Avoidant rejecting hostile cold conditional intrusive controlling © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 13. TIM sensory experience: alone, neglected in cot SEE Darkness HEAR Shouting & slamming doors TASTE Milk & vomit SMELL Sour milk & excrement TOUCH Nappy rash FEEL Hungry & cold © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 14. TIM - Infant Perspective One piece of sensory shrapnel One incident of NEGLECT Stored in implicit memory & sensory database © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 15. TIM Sensory Shrapnel from Neglect © Helen Oakwater 2016 Traumatised Infant Maltreated
- 16. “Our little secret” Different Maltreatments Assorted Shrapnel © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 17. FEAR EMOTIONAL ABUSE NEGLECT SEXUAL ABUSE PHYSICAL ABUSE TIM: Different Maltreatments Assorted Shrapnel = I AM BAD © Helen Oakwater 2016 I am bad
- 18. I am a bad boy No therapy or reframing Shrapnel still inside Tim © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 19. FEAR EMOTIONAL ABUSE NEGLECT SEXUAL ABUSE PHYSICAL ABUSE Helen Oakwater’s Bubble Wrap metaphor © Helen Oakwater 2016 Distorts our view of them & their perception of the world
- 20. I am an OK kid Robust Interventions. Truth. Reframe past. Melt trauma © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 21. The Infant Perspective One piece of sensory shrapnel One incident of NEGLECT Stored in implicit memory & sensory database © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 22. NEGLECT multiple pieces of ‘green shrapnel’ “The house was a bit messy”© Helen Oakwater 2020
- 23. 23 Language:“messy bedroom” © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 24. “The house was a bit messy” Frequently MISMATCH between sensory life experiences and story child is told © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 25. Confusing MISMATCH of language “The house was a bit messy” clean untidy versus disgusting squalor © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 26. 26 “The house was a bit messy” They slept on mattresses soaked with urine, covered with filthy bedding, wading through mouldy rubbish ankle-deep to get through the front door and off to school. © Helen Oakwater 2016
- 27. Sensory Experience Multiple maltreatment experiences Stored in implicit memory & sensory database “Myriad of sensory shrapnel” © Helen Oakwater 2017
- 28. Melting Trauma NOW “The body keeps the score” BESSEL VAN DER KOLK FEEL SAFE INSIDE THE BODY © Helen Oakwater 2017
- 29. 1. Regulate (you & them) 2. Relate 3. Reason Three step process “Dysregulated children in school will not learn”: Dr Bruce Perry Simple Consistent Open © Helen Oakwater 2017
- 30. Extract from WANT TO ADOPT by Helen Oakwater © Helen Oakwater 2019 © Helen Oakwater 2019
- 31. Metaphor: Wall of Children Needs 6-9 3-6 1-3 0-1 -0 Prenatal hugs food food food food hugs hugs hugs school school friends run run friends challenge trust trust trust books © Helen Oakwater 2017
- 32. food good hygiene calm hugs warmth nutritious food attuned adults stimulationroutine attention play sleeppraise clean clothing fresh air comfort trust toys eye contact shelter touch boundaries fun language Some normal child needs (wall metaphor) © Helen Oakwater 2017
- 33. © Helen Oakwater 2017 pre natal 0-1 18-25 12-18 7-12 1-3 3-7 Developmental needs over time “Normal”
- 34. food good hygiene calm hugs warmth nutritious food attuned adults stimulationroutine attention play sleeppraise clean clothing fresh air comfort trust toys eye contact shelter touch boundaries fun language Physical Abuse © Helen Oakwater 2017 NO NO NO NO NO ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ?
- 35. food good hygiene calm hugs warmth nutritious food attuned adults stimulationroutine attention play sleeppraise clean clothing fresh air comfort trust toys eye contact shelter touch boundaries fun language Sexual Abuse © Helen Oakwater 2017 ? ? ? NO NO NO ? ? ?
- 36. food good hygiene calm hugs warmth nutritious food attuned adults stimulationroutine attention play sleeppraise clean clothing fresh air comfort trust toys eye contact shelter touch boundaries fun language Emotional abuse (wall metaphor) © Helen Oakwater 2017 NO NONO NO NO ? NO? ?
- 37. food good hygiene calm hugs warmth nutritious food attuned adults stimulationroutine attention play sleeppraise clean clothing fresh air comfort trust toys eye contact shelter touch boundaries fun language Neglect : damaged bricks © Helen Oakwater 2017 NO NONONONO NO ? ? ? ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?? ? ? ? ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
- 38. boundaries eye contact attention nutritious food stimulation shelter trust play good hygieneroutine NO NONO touch comfort food toys © Helen Oakwater 2017 Neglect: poorly constructed wall missing, smaller & cracked bricks clean clothing NO
- 39. boundaries eye contact attention nutritious food stimulation shelter trust play good hygieneroutine NO NONO touch comfort food toys © Helen Oakwater 2017 Neglect: poorly constructed wall missing, smaller & cracked bricks clean clothing NO & missinginadequate
- 40. © Helen Oakwater 2017 pre natal 0-2 17-25 12-17 9-12 2-4 4-8 Developmental needs over time With infancy maltreatment
- 41. Links as discussed Helen Oakwater YouTube Tim in more depth: (13 minute) Does lack of truth telling destabilise the life of a traumatised child http://bit.ly/2I2gvrq Playlist what lurks below the behaviour of a hurt child (Tamie, Sandy, Tim) (6 x 10 minute professionally filmed presentation to camera and live audience) https://bit.ly/2OhMHL4 First interview with Robert logical levels + trauma (15 min) https://youtu.be/hrK9_ZPo790 Second interview with Robert logical levels + trauma + support (15 minutes) (coaching, mentoring, guiding, teaching, sponsorship, awakening,) https://youtu.be/XazhuUAXhHg
- 43. Trauma Triggered Behaviour Helen Oakwater’s Online Course
- 44. FREE RESOURCES - articles, links, podcasts, etc LEARNING PLATFORM & TOOLS ONLINE TRAINING - various audiences FUTURE-PROOFING - evidence & thinking REAL and honest EXPERTS in various fields (coaching, leadership, communication skills, trauma, etc) LEADING LEARNER principles www.FABParents.co.uk YouTube Channel: HelenOakwater © Helen Oakwater 2019