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7 Tips for Parents - #LeanInTogether

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This set of tips offers small, everyday things you can do to model equality in your home and encourage your kids to be anything they want. Produced by LeanIn.Org as an extension of the #LeanInTogether campaign for gender equality. Learn more at

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7 Tips for Parents - #LeanInTogether

  1. 1. " <§e*'. ,i5 ! ~ At: .= :.m-I---: ;___= -,_ = _ 1.'! ’!'r! !|JE 1-'ELEIl. .». vlI| l’ ‘ 1 V/ 7 7 TIPS FOR PARENTS Get the complete tips at leaninorg/ tips/ parentspdf
  2. 2. 7 TIPS FOR PARENTS Telling kids “You can do anything” isn’t as effective as showing them they can! Stereotypes dictate that women should be caring and men should be in charge. Changing those expectations starts at home. When parents promote equality, kids envision broader possibilities for themselves and grow up knowing they can be anything they want to be. #LeanlnTogether l LeanlnTogether. Org
  3. 3. 1 MODEL EQUALITY AT HOME SITUATION Almost 65 percent of couples rely on dual incomes, but only 9 percent share child care, housework, and breadwinning equally. ‘ Yet research shows that splitting responsibilities more evenly benefits children. SOLUTION Approach child care and housework as real partners. Split household chores and child care fairly, and talk openly about how —and why—you share responsibilities. #LeanlnTogether I Lean| nTogether. Org
  4. 4. Fathers who do chores are more likely to raise daughters who believe they have broader career optionsf #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  5. 5. 2 MOMS, LET GO OF PERFECT SITUATION The amount of time parents spend with their kids has little impact on their success, but mothers often hold themselves to unattainable parenting standards and take on the lion’s share of child care themselves? This stress has a negative impact on their kids.4 SOLUTION Let go of the pressure to be perfect and the guilt that you don’t spend enough time with your kids. Take a collaborative approach to parenting and avoid the urge to micromanage. Kids benefit when both parents are active and involved. #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  6. 6. Given one wish, a majority of kids say they’d wish their parents were less tired and less stressedf #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  7. 7. 3 DADS, BE ACTIVE FATHERS SITUATION There’s no substitute for hands—on fathering. Children with involved fathers have higher self—esteem, better cognitive and social skills, fewer behavioral problems, and higher academic achievement? SOLUTION Be an active dad. Help with homework, read books with your kids, and talk about their daily experiences and dreams. You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be engaged. #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  8. 8. People who remember having loving, supportive fathers have high life satisfaction and self—esteem.7 #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  9. 9. 4 CHALLENGE GENDER STEROTYPES SITUATION Traditional girls’ toys focus on appearance and caretaking, while boys’ toys focus on competition and spatial skills.8 Women are often underrepresented or se><ualized in movies and TV,9 while men are often portrayed competitive and aggressivelo SOLUTION Make sure your kids play with a variety of toys to develop a range of cognitive and social skills. Be thoughtful about what your kids read and watch, and talk openly about the messages media sends. #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  10. 10. In 2014, the top three toys for girls were dolls, while Legos and trucks topped the list for boys. “ eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee rg
  11. 11. 5 CLOSE THE KID WAGE GAP SITUATION The wage gap starts earlier than you think. Parents often place greater value on the chores boys typically do (like taking out the trash) than on chores that girls usually do (like setting the table). As a result, boys spend less time on household chores but make more money than girls. ” SOLUTION Give your children equal chores and equal allowance. If your son and daughter take turns setting the table and taking out the trash, they’ll grow up knowing that women and men can—and should- split work evenly. #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  12. 12. Girls between the ages of five and twelve spend two more hours a week on chores than boys. “ #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  13. 13. 6 HELP YOUR DAUGHTER LEAD SITUATION Girls are often labeled “bossy” or “know—it—all” when they speak up or take the lead. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood. ” SOLUTION Help your daughter set goals and break them into small, achievable steps. Encourage her to reach outside her comfort zone to build confidence, and help her enroll in sports or other organized activities. #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  14. 14. Your daughter’s not “bossy”—she has executive leadership skills! #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  15. 15. DON’T TELL YOUR SON TO “MAN UP! ” SITUATION It is important to teach your son to respect his feelings and care for others. Boys are bombarded with stories of men who are strong and in charge but rarely vulnerable or nurturing. Boys often emulate these oversimplified characters, and it negatively impacts their well- being. SOLUTION Teach your son to value intelligence and thoughtfulness over toughness. Encourage him to respect his own feelings and have empathy for others. #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  16. 16. 76% of men and 84% of women in one survey admitted to using phrases like “man up” and “be a man. ”"5 #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  17. 17. LET’S These tips are provided as part of #Lean| nTogether, a public awareness campaign from Leanln. Org focused on men’s important role in reaching gender equality. One of the core messages of #LeanlnTogether is that we can’t reach true equality until we celebrate women as leaders and men as nurturers. When women and men lean in at work and at home, everyone benefits. Children with involved fathers are happier, healthier, and more successful. Couples that share responsibilities have stronger marriages. Diverse teams produce greater results. Companies with more women in leadership roles perform better. Show the world you’re in for equality by posting with #Lean| nTogether. #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  18. 18. ENDNOTES U. S. Census Bureau, “Table FG1 Married Couple Family Groups, by Labor Force Status of Both Spouses, and Race and Hispanic Origin of the Reference Person, " America's Families and Living Arrangements, Current Population Survey, Annual Social and Economic Supplement (2014), https: //www. census. gov/ hhes/ families/ data/ cps2014FG. html; and Scott S. Hall and Shelley M. MacDermid, "A Typology of Dual Earner Marriages Based on Work and Family Arrangements, " Journa/ of Fami/ y and Economic issues 30, no. 3 (2009): 220. Alyssa Croft et al. , "The Second Shift Reflected in the Second Generation: Do Parents’ Gender Roles at Home Predict Children's Aspirations? ," Psychoiogicai Science 25, no. 7 (2014): 1418——28. Linda Rose Ennis, ed. , Intensive Mothering: The Cuiturai Contradictions ofModern Motherhood (Toronto: Demeter Press, 2014); and Sharon Hays, The Cu/ tura/ Contradictions ofMotherhood (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 1996). I Melissa A. Milkie, Kei M. Nomaguchi, and Kathleen E. Denny, "Does the Amount of Time Mothers Spend with Children or Adolescents Matter? ," Journa/ of Marriage and Family 77, no. 2 (2015): 355-72; and Brigid Schulte, “Making Time for Kids? Study Says Quality Trumps Quantity, " The Washington Post, March 28,2015, http: //www. washingtonpost. com/ locaI/ making—time—for—kids—study—says—quality—trumps—quantity/2015/03/28/10813192- d378—11e4—8fce—3941fc548f1c_story. htmI. . Ellen Galinsky, Ask the Children: The Breakthrough Study That Revea/ s How to Succeed at Work and Parenting (New York: Quill, 2000). - For a thorough review, see Michael E. Lamb, The Re/ e of the Father in Child Deve/ opment (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 2010); Anna Sarkadi et al. , "Fathers‘ Involvement and Children‘s Developmental Outcomes: A Systematic Review of Longitudinal Studies, " Acta Faediatr/ ca 97, no. 2 (2008): 153-58; and Sarah Allen and Kerry Daly, The Effects of Father / nvo/ vement. ‘ An Updated Research Summary of the Evidence (2007), Father Involvement Research Alliance, http: //www. fira. ca/ cms/ documents/29/Effects_of_Father_lnvolvement. pdf. For a review see Kate Fogarty and Garret D. Evans, "The Hidden Benefits of Being an Involved Father, " University of Florida, http: //www. cfuf. org/ Filestream. aspx? Fi| elD=14. #Lean| nTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
  19. 19. II M ENDNOTES Judith E. Owen Blakemore and Rene E. Centers, "Characteristics of Boys’ and Girls‘ Toys, " Sex Roles 53 nos. 9-10 (2005): 619-33. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, Generation M2 (2010), http: //kaiserfamIIyfoundation. files. wordpress. com/ 2013/O4/8010.pdf; and Geena Davis Institute, Research Facts, http: //www. seejane. org/ research/ index. php For reviews see Megan Vokey, Bruce Tefft, and Chris Tysiaczny, "An Analysis of Hyper-Masculinity in Magazine Advertisements, " Sex Po/ es 68 nos. 9-10 (2013): 562-76; Susan G. Kahlenberg and Michelle M. Hein, “Progression on Nickelodeon? Gender—Ro| e Stereotypes in Toy Commercials, " Sex Roles 62 nos. 11-12 (2010): 830-47: Lynn Mikel Brown, Sharon Lamb, and Mark B. Tappan, Packaging Boyhood. Saving Our Sons from Superheroes, S/ ackers, and Other Media Stereotypes (New York: St. Martin's Press, 2009); and Jennifer J. Pike and Nancy A. Jennings, "The Effects of Commercials on Children’s Perceptions of Gender Appropriate Toy Use, " Sex Po/ es 52, nos. 1-2 (2005): 83-91. National Retail Federation, "Barbie Dethroned in NRF's Top Toys Survey as Disney's Frozen Takes the Crown, " November 24, 2014, https: //nrf. com/ media/ press—releases/ barbie—dethroned—nrfs—top—toys—survey—disneys—frozen— takes—the—crown. Institute for Social Research, Time, Money and Who Does the Laundry, University of Michigan, Research Update (2007), http: //deepblue. lib. umichedu/ bitstream/ handle/2027.42/61984/ chores. pdf; jsessionid=078CC6AA26FE5BDFB6——82CE63BBOF4F1]; and "Gender Pay Gap Starts at Home as Boys Earn More for Household Chores, " survey by PktMny, 2013, http: //www. gohenry. co. uk/ blog/ gender—pay—gap/ . Institute for Social Research, Time, Money and Who Does the Laundry, University of Michigan, Research Update (2007), http: //deepblue. lib. umich. edu/ bitstream/ handle/2027.42/61984/ chores. pdf; jsessionid=078CC6AA26FE5BDFB6-82CE63BBOF4F1. Deborah Marlino and Fiona Wilson, Teen Girls on Bus/ ness. 'Are They Being Empovvered? , The Committee of 200, Simmons College School of Management (April 2003), http: //wwwsimmons. edu/ som/ docs/ centers/ TGOB_report_full. pdf. She Knows Media, "Male Gender Perceptions & Stereotype Survey, " (March 2015), http: //www, sheknows, com/ parenting/ articles/1078225/boys—and—gender—stereotypes/ . #LeanlnTogether I LeanlnTogether. Org
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This set of tips offers small, everyday things you can do to model equality in your home and encourage your kids to be anything they want. Produced by LeanIn.Org as an extension of the #LeanInTogether campaign for gender equality. Learn more at


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