Together we can raise a generation of female leaders. Whether you’re a mother, older sister, or mentor, use these tips to model leadership and teach girls to speak up and step outside their comfort zone.
2. #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Together
Together we can encourage the next generation of
female leaders.
Girls often look to the women in their lives for cues about how to
think and act. When we speak confidently, take risks, and own our
accomplishments, we set positive examples for girls to follow. There
are countless opportunities every day to help girls gain the
confidence and skills they need to lean in and take the lead.
Special thanks to Rachel Simmons and the team at Girls
Leadership for their expert insights on empowering girls.
TIPS FOR WOMEN:
HOW TO BE A ROLE MODEL FOR GIRLS
4. #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Together
1SITUATION
Girls can undermine themselves when they speak. Many girls use
phrases like “kind of” and “sort of” to weaken their statements.
Some introduce opinions with disclaimers or use upspeak so their
statements sound like questions. These verbal crutches hinder a
girl’s ability to share her ideas clearly and confidently—a habit
that often carries over into adulthood.
Speak with confidence so girls hear what it sounds like. Avoid
hedging your opinions with disclaimers or apologies. If you
observe a girl falling into these same habits, explain how it
undermines the point she’s trying to make. Remind her it’s not
just what you say that matters, it’s how you say it, too.
SOLUTION
1 COACH GIRLS TO SPEAK CONFIDENTLY
6. #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Together
2 TEACH TO GIRLS TO NAVIGATE CONFLICT
SITUATION
Girls are often taught to suppress their feelings in order to get
along with others.
3
As a result, they do not learn to speak openly
and manage conflict. Fast-forward to adulthood: too often
women avoid giving each other honest input to avoid being seen
as unkind or fall into the trap of personalizing constructive input
we receive.
Model honest, direct communication for the girls in your life.
Encourage girls to speak their mind and avoid social shortcuts like
texting and social media. Explain that conflict is an inevitable part
of relationships—it’s the way we handle it that matters.
SOLUTION
8. #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Together
SITUATION
SOLUTION
3 ENCOURAGE GIRLS TO OWN THEIR SUCCESS
Girls are often underestimated by others—and underestimate
themselves—which erodes their confidence. When girls are
complimented on their achievements, they also tend to deflect praise
or minimize their accomplishments,
5
yet internalizing success is an
important part of building self-confidence.
Model owning your accomplishments for the girls in your life. When
girls see that it is okay to own their success, they will feel more
comfortable doing it themselves. Moreover, look for opportunities to
celebrate girls’ success and acknowledge their strengths, and push
back if they fall into the trap of sidestepping praise.
10. #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Together
SOLUTION
4 INSPIRE GIRLS TO GO FOR IT
SITUATION
Because girls often struggle with confidence and fear making
mistakes, they are less likely to take risks. Some girls don’t speak up
in class unless they’re 100 percent sure they have the right answer,
while others shy away from trying new subjects or activities. This
same reluctance also holds women back. Compared to our male
counterparts, we can be less likely to take on high-profile projects or
lobby for more senior positions.
Model taking healthy risks and talk about the times you’ve stepped
out of your comfort zone. When you hear girls say they’re “not ready”
or “can’t do it,” gently push back. Make sure girls know that being
brave is rarely about dramatic moments: it’s a skill acquired, little by
little, over time.
12. #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Together
SOLUTION
5 CELEBRATE FEMALE LEADERSHIP
We expect girls to be kind and communal, so when they speak
their mind or take the lead, they often face pushback. As a result,
girls often worry they’ll make people mad or be laughed at if they
assume a leadership position.
8
It’s no wonder that by middle
school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that
continues into adulthood.
9
If you hear a girl being criticized for asserting herself or referred to
as “bossy” or “aggressive,” step in and explain she should be
applauded, not chided, for her leadership skills. Finally, make sure
girls understand the benefits of being a leader, like having a voice
and making things happen.
SITUATION
13. #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Together
Women accomplish amazing things when we
encourage and support each other. Celebrate the
women who #LeanInTogether with you.
Learn more at leanin.org/together
LET’S
#LEANINTOGETHER
14. #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Together
ENDNOTES
1 Myra Sadker and David M. Sadker, Failing atFairness: How America’s SchoolsCheatGirls(NewYork: Scribner, 1994);
AAUW, How SchoolsShortchangeGirls(1992).
2 Girls, Inc., TheSupergirl Dilemma: GirlsGrapplewith theMounting Pressureof Expectations (2006).
http://www.girlsinc-monroe.org/styles/girlsinc/defiles/TheSupergirl Dilemma--SummaryFindings--lowres.pdf.
3 Ibid.
4 AAUW, Shortchanging Girls, Shortchanging America (1991).
5 GirlsInc., TheSupergirl Dilemma
6 Georges Desvaux, SandrineDevillard-Hoellinger, and MaryC. Meaney, “A BusinessCasefor Women,” TheMcKinsey
Quarterly, September 2008, http://www.womenscolleges.org/files/pdfs/BusinessCaseforWomen.pdf
7 Girl ScoutResearch Institute, ChangeIt Up: WhatGirlsSay AboutRedefining Leadership (2008).
http://www.girlscouts.org/content/dam/girlscouts-gsusa/forms-and-documents/about-girl-
scouts/research/change_it_up_executive_summary_english.pdf
8 Ibid.
9 Deborah Marlino and Fiona Wilson, Teen Girlson Business: AreThey Being Empowered?, TheCommitteeof 200,
SimmonsCollegeSchool of Management(April 2003),
http://www.simmons.edu/som/docs/centers/TGOB_report_full.pdf; JenniferL. Lawlessand Richard L. Fox, Men
Rule: TheContinued Under-Representationof Women in U.S. Politics, Women & PoliticsInstitute, American
University School of Public Affairs(January2012), http://www.american.edu/spa/wpi/upload/2012-Men-Rule-
Report-final-web.pdf; LeanIn.Org and McKinsey& Company, Women in theWorkplace(2015).
http://womenintheworkplace.com.