From Learning Tree International's workshop at Showcase Ontario 2011. This presentation will introduce you to Emotional Intelligence & cover these 3 objectives: Identify five emotional intelligences. Leverage emotional intelligence to augment your personal leadership style. Apply emotional intelligence in a management role.

1. Managing Emotional Intelligence

2. Session Objectives Introduce you to Learning Tree International Introduce you to Emotional Intelligence Identify five emotional intelligences Leverage emotional intelligence to augment your personal leadership style Apply emotional intelligence in a management role

3. About Learning Tree International Learning Tree International was founded in 1974 More than 2.1 million technology professionals and managers from more than 65,000 organizations trained to date In-depth course curriculum—more than 225 titles and growing Includes more than 90 management titles Courses are developed and taught by technology and business professionals actively working in the field

4. About Learning Tree International(continued) Philadelphia Ottawa Paris Edinburgh Stockholm Toronto London Boston New York Chicago Washington, D.C. Tokyo Atlanta Los Angeles Dallas Public and on-site courses are available at Learning Tree and client locations worldwide Ch00US/C.3/101/C.2

5. Course Delivery All courses are presented using MagnaLearn®, our proprietary, patented* instructional enhancement technology We also provide courses via our Learning Tree AnyWare™ platform Our (patent pending) training delivery solution that connects online participants to a live, instructor-led classroom With AnyWare, you can do everything the in-class participants do Participate in classroom discussions Perform hands-on exercises on the same equipment as in-class participants Participate in breakout sessions Get individual help and advice from the instructor—immediately as needed—just as in the classroom *Covered by one or more of the following patents: United States 7,058,891, 7,131,068, 7,134,079, and 7,454,708; South Africa 2005/09799; India 222822; and Australia 2002310120 and 2005266901. Other patents pending in EU, Israel, India, and Australia.

6. About Your Instructor Background and education Current position Experience

7. Emotional Intelligence in Action Emotional Intelligence at Work Developing Emotional Intelligence

8. Your Role in Building Great Performance In management, it’s imperative to Be clear about what’s expected of you as a manager Build purpose for your team Be clear about the specific things that managers do How you do these things will have a direct impact on Whether or not you can evoke great performance in the people you are managing Emotional Intelligence is the essential skillset that helps ordinary managers do extraordinary things

9. Causing Great Performance: Leadership and Emotional Intelligence Effective leaders leverage their EI skills to do some basic things right Delegating Negotiating Facilitating Team building Managing performance Coaching & mentoring Redirecting poor behaviour

10. The Connection Between EI and Bottom-Line Results EI-skilled managers are more in touch with feelings, emotions, and thought processes Their own In control of their emotional responses Able to adapt how they react in interpersonal situations Other people’s Empathetic to others Better able to read and interpret body language Cognizant of personality types

11. Additional Benefits Better able to bring out the best in individuals and deal with people problems This leads to: Higher productivity Better communication Shared success across the entire organization Lower staff turnover Higher morale Greater cost savings Higher profits Less need for controls

12. Emotional Intelligence The term emotional intelligence was popularized by Daniel Goleman* to describe the cluster of skills that effective leaders use to manage themselves and the people they work with He found that managers with good EI skills produced better bottom-line results These skills are the foundation on which your management success will be built Goleman has identified five components of emotional intelligence Three concerned with self-management, two with working with others *Goleman’s books are Emotional Intelligence (Bantam, 1995) and Working with Emotional Intelligence (Bantam, 1998). For information on applying EI, and papers on the background of EI development, see www.eiconsortium.org.

13. The Five Components of Emotional Intelligence:The Three Self-Management Skills Self-awareness: The ability to recognize and understand one’s moods, emotions, and drives, and their effect on others Characterized by self-confidence, realistic self-assessment, clarity about personal goals, candidness about personal feelings Self-regulation: The ability to control or redirect disruptive moods and impulses and to suspend judgment; to think before acting All managers work in situations involving strong emotions (their own and others’) Dealing with mistakes Handling tensions and conflicts with and between others The temptation to make a hasty response The ability to mentally step back andrespond thoughtfully under pressureis likely to build a climate of confidenceand respect in the team Are you aware of your emotions?

14. The Five Components of Emotional Intelligence:The Three Self-Management Skills (continued) Self Motivation: A desire and drive to achieve, seek out challenges, and learn from both success and failure Characterized by commitment and persistence

15. The Five Components of Emotional Intelligence: Two Skills for Working With Others Empathy: The ability to understand the emotional situations of others and treat them according to their reactions to a situation A crucial skill for managers, since so much of a manager’s work is about working with others in situations of tension and pressure Empathy skills enable managers to relate to the feelings and situations of others In mentoring and coaching In working and building managerial relationships with talented people In listening to the emotions expressed in difficult situations and responding in a way that acknowledges and deals with those emotions in a productive way

16. The Five Components of Emotional Intelligence: Two Skills for Working With Others (continued) Social skill: The skill of applying the four preceding skills to build and maintain relationships with a wide range of people Skilled in persuasion, using different approaches according to the situation Good at building networks Comfortable with and interested in a wide range of people, whether or not they are directly involved with the manager’s work

17. Emotional Intelligence in Action Emotional Intelligence at Work Developing Emotional Intelligence

18. The Value of Personal Emotional Honesty To be emotionally honest, we must first be emotionally aware Expressing your true feelings also takes Self-confidence Courage Being honest with ourselves helps us Be more self-accepting Decide how to spend our time, and whom to spend it with Being honest with others Encourages honesty in them Reduces the tendency of others to pressure us Helps us find out who respects our feelings

19. Self-Awareness and Personal Honesty Patterns of disclosure and honesty Unintended repression Complete disclosure Intentional manipulation Emotional fraud Self-awareness and self-disclosure When being emotionally honest is in our interests When it is not healthy or safe to be emotionally honest Therefore achieving discretionary disclosure Dishonesty Takes more effort! Creates tension, distrust, and stress

20. Recognizing and Affirming Your Emotions In our daily life, we don’t pay much attention to what’s happening now Looking without seeing Eating without tasting Hearing without listening Talking without focusing on what we are really saying We spend much of our time focusing on What has happened Or what will or might happen For emotional competency, it’s important to remember that there are many things going on for you right now “Emotions are only temporary… they always pass on like clouds in the sky.” —The 14th Dalai Lama

21. Mindfulness This is an active process It means paying attention to what is real for you right here and now Without thinking that it’s good or bad, important or not, right or wrong The simple goal is to become more aware of both internal and external environments You can choose to become “mindful” with any experience Choosing to become mindful of your emotional experiences “The awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment.” — Jon Kabat-Zinn, Professor of Medicine Emeritus, University of Massachusetts Medical School Kabat-Zinn, Jon. “Mindfulness-based Interventions in Context: Past, Present, and Future.” Clinical Psychology, Vol. 10 (May, 2003), pp. 144–156.

22. Mindfulness and Emotions Job Aid It is important to disengage from the “story” of the emotion What or who caused it, whether we like it, whether it’s justified All this focuses on the past or the future We spend too little time paying attention to what is happening now! Paying attention to the “story” of the emotion tends to fuel the emotion, and we become consumed by it. We need to learn to pay attention to the emotion and the experience, not the story.

23. Mindfulness and Emotions(continued) Job Aid Four steps to mindfulness Recognize Name Accept Explore Our goal is to experience the emotion Not to repress or deny it Nor to express or act it out

24. Dealing with Conflict: Fight or Flight Many people have difficulty with workplace conflict The typical response is “fight or flight” We learn to respond to conflict long before we realize it is present Examples of how this causes “flight” behavior include Avoiding difficult situations and meetings Not speaking up when we disagree with what is being said Examples of how this causes “fight” behavior include Reacting defensively to an innocent request for more information Deliberately providing the wrong information

25. Discretionary Disclosure and Boundary Management Knowing your emotions vs. revealing your emotions There are times when it is not healthy or safe to be emotionally honest It is important to make conscious choices about when to disclose how you feel and be emotionally honest Consider both what is in your interest and what is in the interest of others Weigh the advantages of disclosure against any disadvantage

26. Authenticity As the ancient Greeks said, “Be true to oneself” Owning your own thoughts, emotions, needs, preferences, beliefs, and values Behaving according to them Inauthentic leadership is not being true to yourself This involves leadership by Manipulation Coercion Deception “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the day the night, thou canst not then be false to any man.” —William Shakespeare, Hamlet

28. Be aware of our emotions and feelings

29. Decide whether and how to disclose them

30. Let people know how we feelCongruence is judged by the match between What we say Our nonverbal behavior The decisions and actions we take

31. Benefits of Authenticity Credibility Being real and genuine creates buy-in People feel meaningfully connected to the leader They will offer support under difficult circumstances It encourages others to be emotionally honest And promotes an emotionally intelligent organization

32. Basics of Self-Management Having the ability to determine how we feel, think, and act In contrast to being a slave to our impulses Routine patterns we have learned Impulsive or automatic reactions Remember: management, not control Control implies willpower Management involves becoming aware of what is affecting us and then deciding how to respond Becoming more strategic in how we respond Allowing long-term benefits to overcome short-term gratification Gaining mastery over how we respond All the while remaining true to our values in the longer term

33. Self-Management and the Emotional Response Triad Why care? To be truly effective, we have to manage how we respond Apply the emotional triad: We experience an event We interpret the situation Then we react You can unlearn what you have learned Behavioral self-control training Cognitive self-regulation Self-management techniques Reaction Response Feeling Physiology Event Action tendency Emotional Response Expression

34. The Emotional Triad Reaction(based on past experience) Response (choosing how to respond) Feeling Physiology Action tendency Emotional response Event Expression

35. The Marshmallow Experiment A well-known experiment conducted at Stanford University in the 1960s A group of four-year-olds was given a marshmallow and told they could have another only if they could wait 20 minutes before eating the first one Some waited; others did not Following their progress into adolescence Those who could wait were better adjusted and more dependable They scored on average 210 points higher on the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) Deferred gratification is an example of an emotional competence Source: Shoda, Yuichi, Walter Mischel, and Philip K. Peake. “Predicting Adolescent Cognitive and Self-Regulatory Competencies From Preschool Delay of Gratification: Identifying Diagnostic Conditions.” Developmental Psychology, Vol. 26 (November, 1990), pp. 978–986.

36. Five Steps for Self-Management Preparation Job Aid Recognize the emotion you are experiencing Acknowledge any impulsive reactions you want to make Anticipate the possible negative consequences of the action Trade any immediate pleasure for long-term strategic advantage Decide whether and how to respond

37. Additional Self-Management Techniques Reframing Self-monitoring Affirmations Working with your emotions Apply IDEDA Taking care of yourself

38. 1. The Reframing Process: ABCDEF Activating event “Sue doesn’t like me” Belief (irrational) “Sue must like me” Consequence “I am angry and feel foolish” Dispute “Why must she like me? What evidence is there?” Effective belief “I’d prefer Sue to like me, but I’ll survive if she doesn’t” “I think it’s wrong of Sue not to like me” “That’s just the way of the world, and nothing dreadful is going to happen” Feeling (new) “I’m disappointed that Sue doesn’t like me”

39. 2. Self-Monitoring: ABC Job Aid Good for impulsive reactions For example, used extensively in smoking cessation and weight control Keep a diary of your emotional-change episodes Use the following columns: Activity: What happened that led to my change in emotions? Beliefs: What beliefs led to the change in my emotions? Consequences: How big was the emotional change on a scale of 1–10?

40. 2. Self-Monitoring: ABC(continued) Job Aid Use the diary data to challenge your beliefs and interpretations Pessimism and perfectionism Challenge your beliefs Look for evidence of alternative ways to make sense of the situation Worrying Challenge your beliefs about what is threatening Look for less threatening interpretations of the situation Experience the worry and let is subside Prepare well Practice relaxation Anger Identify what is triggering the anger Stand back Focus on other aspects of the situation If necessary—assert yourself

41. 3. Affirmations Job Aid Turning negative self-talk into something more useful Counters a lifetime of putting ourselves down, so no quick wins! Take the output from your reframing process Create reframed statements about you in relation to the situation Use a positive phrasing, make it personal, and start with “I” Say, “I am confident making this suggestion to the meeting” Don’t say, “I am not as scared as I used to be when making this suggestion” Keep it in present tense—use “I am” Avoid “should,” “must,” “could,” “can” Make sure it is possible and believable to you Write it down Repeat it to yourself every day while imagining the outcome

42. 4. Working With Your Emotions Job Aid Find ways to work through the emotion Experience the emotion rather than shying away or avoiding it Focus on the emotion, not the story Notice the feeling—use the mindfulness technique Silently describe the feeling to yourself Allow it to blow itself out naturally Only then do you consider options and actions Talk through with a non-involved party Allow yourself time out Write the letter/e-mail, but do not send it!

43. 5. IDEDA: A Rational Process Model Job Aid Identify the emotion Take time to experience it Think about the wheel of emotion and emotional vocabulary Determine the real cause Take time to assess and reassess the situation Check your interpretation Evaluate options for action Doing nothing may be a suitable action Decide Consciously commit to an action Act: take action Remember that changing the way we think is an action

44. 6. Taking Care of Yourself Job Aid Take care of yourself in order to care for others in your leadership role Centering yourself in your environment Pause for a moment Look around and notice five things you can see Listen and notice five things you can hear Notice five things you can feel in contact with your body Reduce your levels of stress and anxiety Many different methods exist Find one that suits you Breathing and relaxation techniques

45. If All Else Fails… Job Aid Rubber band snap! Put a rubber band around your wrist Snap it every time you notice negative self-talk Over time, the negative stimulus (pain) is paired with that thinking

46. Can Emotional Intelligence Be Learned? Learning the skills of emotional intelligence is not simply a matter of reading a book Emotion is not an intellectual mental process Uses different parts of the brain than intellect Proficient use of emotional intelligence is not as simple as learning a new applied skill set like riding a bike, or using Oracle It is best learned through practice Identify areas where your emotional intelligence can be enhanced Through your own or others’ observations of your behavior Request feedback and coaching from others about your behavior and how it could be more effective Put the new behavior into practice and get more feedback Hands-on coaching is the most effective way to learn or teach EI

48. Course 3411, Emotional Intelligence: Achieving Leadership Success

49. Course 222, Leadership Skills: Success through Teamwork

50. Course 290, Management Skills

51. Course 906, Management Skills for an IT Environment

53. Thank You for Your Participation Any questions? Visit us at www.learningtree.ca Call us at 1-800-THE-TREE We wish you every success in the future We hope to see you in class soon!