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Write
Tight
(er)
May 21, 2015

Marcia Riefer Johnston



marcia_r_johnston@me.com

@MarciaRJohnston
#ConfabMN
Get to the Point

and Save Millions
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What we’ll cover
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
What we’ll cover
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Why do I care?
What we’ll cover
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Why do I care?
How can I write more concisely?
What we’ll cover
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Fast,
pain-free
technique
Why do I care?
How can I write more concisely?
What we’ll cover
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No
headline?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No
headline?
No
bullets?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No
headline?
No
bullets? No
verbiage?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No
headline?
No
bullets? No
verbiage?
How
concise!
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Most often I talk about content
as text because text is
everywhere … text is different …
text is messy as hell.”
—Kristina Halvorson
Content Strategy for the Web
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise not mean?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise not mean?
Short
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise not mean?
Short
Why?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“A good speech
[read, your text]
should be like a
woman's skirt;
long enough to
cover the subject
and short enough
to create interest.”
—Winston Churchill
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Make text, like a skirt, 

as long as needed.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.
Push button.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.
Push button.
Push the button.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.
Keep the the.
Push button.
Push the button.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean?
Minimal
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean?
Minimal
What?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Minimal
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your
audiences’ needs
Minimal
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your
audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish
your purpose
Minimal
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your
audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish
your purpose
No more
Minimal
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your
audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish
your purpose
No more No less
Minimal
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Write Tight(er):

ATime-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for SellingYourself, 

Your Company, or 

Your Products through 

Your Words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audience needs:
“What’s in it for me?”
Write Tight(er):

ATime-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for SellingYourself, 

Your Company, or 

Your Products through 

Your Words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audience needs:
“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:
Get you here
Write Tight(er):

ATime-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for SellingYourself, 

Your Company, or 

Your Products through 

Your Words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
No more
Audience needs:
“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:
Get you here
Write Tight(er):

ATime-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for SellingYourself, 

Your Company, or 

Your Products through 

Your Words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
No more No less
Audience needs:
“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:
Get you here
Write Tight(er):

ATime-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for SellingYourself, 

Your Company, or 

Your Products through 

Your Words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Questions?
What concise means
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Why do I care?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Why do I care?
“Usability was dramatically
higher for the concise
version [of the website]—
58% better.”
—Jakob Nielsen
www.nngroup.com/articles/how-users-read-on-the-web
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Why do I care?
“Usability was dramatically
higher for the concise
version [of the website]—
58% better.”
—Jakob Nielsen
www.nngroup.com/articles/how-users-read-on-the-web
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Why else do I care?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Why else do I care?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Easier to understand
Why else do I care?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Easier to understand
Why else do I care?
More engaging
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Easier to understand
Why else do I care?
More engaging
More useful on small screens
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Write
Tight
(er)
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Write
Tight
(er)
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Write
Tight
(er)
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
This is your
toothbrush
when it’s
new.The
blue bristles
are blue all
the way to
their tips.
This is your
toothbrush
when it’s
ready to
replace.The
blue bristles
have turned
half white.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Philips Sonicare™ toothbrush
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Is your text translated?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
How much can a word cost?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
words6
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
words6
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
$ 62,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
$ 62,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough

#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough

Varies with the language

#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough

Varies with the language

Depends on the translation memory (database)
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough

Varies with the language

Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough

Varies with the language

Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word
Full price
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough

Varies with the language

Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word
“fuzzy” match Full price
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough

Varies with the language

Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word
“fuzzy” match Full price
Pay less
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough

Varies with the language

Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word
“fuzzy” match
“perfect” match
Full price
Pay less
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough

Varies with the language

Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word
“fuzzy” match
“perfect” match
You still pay!
Full price
Pay less
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
Why I care
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Questions?
What concise means
Why I care
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Whether or not you translate,
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Whether or not you translate,
whatever size your page or screen,
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Whether or not you translate,
whatever size your page or screen,
you owe it to yourself to ask …
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
How can I write
more concisely?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Dump these words!*
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
I cover
the rest 

in my
workshop.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Jay Firestone
Content Strategist
Facebook
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
be
be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
are be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
am
are be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
was
am
are be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
has beenwas
am
are be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
will
be
has beenwas
am
are be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
will have

been being
will
be
has beenwas
am
are be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
be-verb. Any form of the verb to be—
namely, am, are, be, been, being, is, was,
and were—whether used as an auxiliary
verb or as a main verb.
—Bryan Garner
Garner’s Modern American Usage
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
See be-verbs.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
See be-verbs.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
See be-verbs.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
See be-verbs.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Start seeing be-verbs!
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Examples
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able
to be applied smoothly around curves as
well as straight.”
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able
to be applied smoothly around curves as
well as straight.”
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able
to be applied smoothly around curves as
well as straight.”
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able
to be applied smoothly around curves as
well as straight.”
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not
be self-evident.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not
be self-evident.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not
be self-evident.
You have to think.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not
be self-evident.
You have to think.
(Not too painful.)
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“A scheme of which every part promises
delight can never be successful.”
—Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“A scheme of which every part promises
delight can never be successful.”
—Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audit logs are proof
that no data breach
has occurred.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audit logs are proof
that no data breach
has occurred.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Our team wants
to be predictive.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Our team wants
to be predictive.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Our team wants
to be predictive.
What does
the team
want to do?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Skydiving was fun.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Skydiving was fun.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Skydiving was fun.
What
happened?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not
too damned much after.”
—Ernest Hemingway, 

Death in the Afternoon
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not
too damned much after.”
—Ernest Hemingway, 

Death in the Afternoon
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What it is is…
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“What was found was that access
points on maps were not reflective
or accurate for where they are.”
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“What was found was that access
points on maps were not reflective
or accurate for where they are.”
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“There are known knowns.These are things
we know that we know.There are known
unknowns.That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are
also unknown unknowns.There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”
(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“There are known knowns.These are things
we know that we know.There are known
unknowns.That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are
also unknown unknowns.There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”
(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“There are known knowns.These are things
we know that we know.There are known
unknowns.That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are
also unknown unknowns.There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”
(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
We don’t know diddly—
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“There are known knowns.These are things
we know that we know.There are known
unknowns.That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are
also unknown unknowns.There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”
(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
We don’t know diddly—
except to avoid (most) be-verbs.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
YOUR
WORDS
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
I cover
the rest 

in my
workshop.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word
count
Cost to
translate into
1 language 25 languages
x 10,000
sentences
(Harry Potter
novel)
BEFORE Your original text here with
more words than you need. 10 $2.50 $62.50 $625,000.00
AFTER Your tighter text here. 4 $1.00 $25.00 $250,000.00
Savings 60% $1.50 $37.50 $375,000.00
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Elizabeth Rich
Director of Digital Content
Produce Marketing Association
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
BEFORE Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not too
damned much after.
AFTER Write when you know
something; and not before;
and not too damned much
after.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word
count
BEFORE Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not too
damned much after. 17
AFTER Write when you know
something; and not before;
and not too damned much
after. 14
Savings 18%
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word
count
Cost to
translate into
1 language
BEFORE Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not too
damned much after. 17 $4.25
AFTER Write when you know
something; and not before;
and not too damned much
after. 14 $3.50
Savings 18% $0.75
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word
count
Cost to
translate into
1 language 25 languages
BEFORE Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not too
damned much after. 17 $4.25 $106.25
AFTER Write when you know
something; and not before;
and not too damned much
after. 14 $3.50 $87.50
Savings 18% $0.75 $18.75
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word
count
Cost to
translate into
1 language 25 languages
x 10,000
sentences
(Harry Potter
novel)
BEFORE Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not too
damned much after. 17 $4.25 $106.25 $1,062,500.00
AFTER Write when you know
something; and not before;
and not too damned much
after. 14 $3.50 $87.50 $875,000.00
Savings 18% $0.75 $18.75 $187,500.00
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Email me for the spreadsheet: 

marcia_r_johnston@me.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Use be-verbs when
they serve a purpose.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
what?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you
can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you
can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you
can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you
can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
content
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you
can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
content ads
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Be-verbs are everywhere. See?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Be-verbs are everywhere. See?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
See be-verbs.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Now available
Start seeing be-verbs.HowToWriteEverything.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Start seeing be-verbs.HowToWriteEverything.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Email me for the bumper sticker: 

marcia_r_johnston@me.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Want to make
this technique
even faster?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Try this.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Adjectives
• absolutely certain, absolutely essential, absolutely
guaranteed, completely necessary, totally sure
• bald-headed
• best ever, first ever
• blue in color, few in number, long in duration, nubbly in
texture, round in shape, slovenly in appearance, short in
height, slow in speed, small in size, tall in stature
• booked solid
• exact same, same exact, same identical
• filled to capacity
• incredible to believe, visible to the eye, warm to the touch
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Nouns
• actual experience, actual fact
• added bonus
• advance notice, advance planning, advance preview,
advance reservations, advance warning
• all-time favorite, all-time record
• alternative choice
• anonymous stranger
• annual anniversary
• armed gunman
• artificial prosthesis
• autobiography of her own life, biography of his life
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Nouns
• actual experience, actual fact
• added bonus
• advance notice, advance planning, advance preview,
advance reservations, advance warning
• all-time favorite, all-time record
• alternative choice
• anonymous stranger
• annual anniversary
• armed gunman
• artificial prosthesis
• autobiography of her own life, biography of his life
And that’s just
the a’s.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Verbs
• add an additional
• aid and abet, cease and desist, pick and choose
• allow you to be able to
• always include
• ask the question
• assemble together, attach together, blend together,
collaborate together, combine together, confer together,
connect together, cooperate together, fuse together, gather
together, join together, integrate together, meet together,
merge together, mingle together, mix together, pool
together, share together, splice together
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Odds and Ends

• 6 a.m. in the morning, 10 p.m. in the evening,
twelve noon, twelve midnight

• and etc.

• ATM machine, GOP party, GRE exam, HIV virus, 

ISBN number, LCD display, PIN number, RAM memory,
UPC code—and my favorite: Please RSVP
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
Why I care
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
Why I care
How to write concisely
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Questions?
What concise means
Why I care
How to write concisely
Story time
Story time
Water dispenser
Story time
Water dispenser
Buttons
Story time
Water dispenser
Buttons
Quick reference
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Concise = good
... right?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Three-minute video
Write Tighter: Get to the Point and Save Millions
Write Tighter: Get to the Point and Save Millions
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
If conciseness doesn’t fix it, 

change what you’re saying.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing
and much, much more
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing
and much, much more
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing
and much, much more
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing
and much, much more
powerful
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing
and much, much more
powerful
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think
this is
small?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think
this is
small?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think
this is
small?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think
this is
small?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think
this is
small?

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