1. Understanding Family Dynamics
What are Family Dynamics?
Nathan Loynes

2. We need to revisit some old ground!
• ‘What’ is a family?
• Why are families ‘systems’?
• What is the relevance of ‘attachment theory’?
• Why are ‘parenting styles’ important?
• What do we mean by ‘communication’?

3. And some new ground (in an
‘introductory’ manner!)
• What are ‘attributions’ and why must
practitioners be mindful of their own tendencies
to ‘attribute’?
• What are family ‘roles’?
• What are family ‘rules’?
• What is ‘homeostasis’?
• How do ‘beliefs’ influence internal family
dynamics?
• How do ‘beliefs’ influence interactions between
the practitioner and family

4. What is ‘a family’?
With single-parenthood, divorce,
separation and remarriage as
common events, a narrow and
traditional definition of the family
is no longer useful (Parke, 2004;
Walsh, 2003a cited in Carr, 2012)

5. ‘Family’ as a ‘system’ of interrelated
parts
It is more expedient to think of a
person’s family as a network of people
in the individual’s immediate
psychosocial field. This may include
household members and others who,
while not members of the household,
play a significant role in the individual’s
life. (Carr, 2012)

6. What do you mean – ‘a system’?
• The system approach has its origins in fields such as
engineering and mathematics. Theoreticians became aware
that biological and mechanical structures did not exist in a
vacuum but were related, and this led to the idea of a
system. (Almagor, 2012)
• The mutual dependency axiom directs us to a different
understanding of causality. Mutual dependency is the
simultaneous mutual effect of system elements. When I do
something, it affects another person and me. (Almagor,
2012). Contrast our ‘commonsense’ understandings of
‘Cause & Effect’.
• The circular causality view means that every member of the
system shares responsibility and contributes to the system.
(Almagor, 2012)

7. ‘Open’ & ‘Closed’ Systems
Systems can be open or closed. An open system
interacts with and reacts to the environment by
exchanging information. A closed system is one
whose boundaries are fairly rigid, and its
communication with the outside world is
limited. Social systems, including family
systems, tend to be open. They interact and
exchange information internally and externally
with the environment.

8. Links with L4 Theories
• Attachment (i.e. Bowlby; Ainsworth)
• Parenting Style (i.e. Baumrind)
• Ecological Theories (i.e.
Bronnfenbrenner)
• Various theories regarding contemporary
family ‘diversity’, and the ‘ethical’
promotion of equality & diversity

9. Why Study Family Dynamics?
“We all have a fundamental fascination with explaining other peoples
behaviour. But the reasons people behave as they do are usually
hidden from us”. Aronson et al (2005:93)
Family problems occur across all stages of the lifecycle. Here are
some examples:
• A six-year-old child whose parents cannot control him and who
pushes his sister down the stairs.
• A 13-year-old girl who worries her parents because she will not eat
and has lost much weight.
• A 19-year-old boy who believes he is being poisoned and refuses to
take prescribed antipsychotic medication.
• A couple in their mid-30s who consistently argue and fight with
each other.

10. To Understand Roles: Parenting Roles
The development of parenting roles involves the
couple establishing routines for meeting
children’s needs for:
• safety
• care
• control
• intellectual stimulation
(Carr, 2012:13)

11. To Understand Roles: Children’s roles
Children search for their niche in the family (Sulloway
1996) in order to maximize their share of the available
resources. They want to be different from one another.
Whether birth order affects a child’s personality has been
investigated in numerous studies. Generally, the firstborn
child appears to be more achievement oriented and to
have a greater need for acceptance than children born
later (Philips, Long, and Bedeian 1990). The lastborn tends
to be more socially oriented and gregarious (Phillips et al.
1988), and middleborns seem willing to compromise and
to be non-competitive (Kidwel 1982). This research area is
controversial (Michalski and Shackelford 2002 cited in
Almagor, 2012: 10)

12. To Understand Rules & ‘Homeostasis’
Rules are cognitive and affective behavioral conventions shared by
family members and governing their attitudes, emotional
expressions, and behaviours within the system and toward others.
The goal of these rules is to ensure the preservation of the system.
Rules describe behavioural regularity (Jackson 1965). Through them
behaviour is controlled, so only certain behaviours are allowed to be
manifested.
These rules can also be viewed as metacognitions; they regulate the
cognitive system, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours of the family.
A rule stating “In our family we do not talk about feelings” can give
rise to an ideology that explains why it is important to avoid talking
about feelings (“We shouldn’t upset anyone”) and behavioural
patterns intended to prevent emotional outbursts. (Almagor:
2012:19-20)

13. Beliefs
Belief Systems and Interactional Patterns Associated with Marital
Satisfaction Studies of belief systems and interaction patterns of
well-adjusted couples show that they have distinctive features
(Gottman & Notarius, 2002; Gurman & Jacobson, 2002). These
include:
• respect
• acceptance
• dispositional attributions for positive behaviour
• more positive than negative interactions
• Focusing conflicts on specific issues
• rapidly repairing relationship ruptures
• addressing needs for intimacy and power.

14. The Impact of Beliefs!
• Well-adjusted couples attribute their partners’ positive
behaviours to dispositional rather than situational factors.
For example, ‘She helped me because she is such a kind
person’, not ‘She helped me because it was convenient at
the time’. The ratio of positive to negative exchanges has
been found to be about five to one in happy couples
(Gottman, 1993).
• Even though well-adjusted couples have disagreements,
this is balanced out by five times as many positive
interactions.
• When well-adjusted couples disagree, they focus their
disagreement on a specific issue, rather than globally
criticising or insulting their partner.

15. The role of ‘professional’ beliefs
(*Think ‘Values’)
Frank (1973) argues that the various therapeutic
approaches are actually beliefs about human
behaviour and existence. We need to believe in
our view of how our behaviour, cognition, and
affect are organized to provide the
distressed, helpless, distraught person, who has
lost his way in life, with a way of making sense
of his world (Frank 1973 cited in Almagor, 2012).

16. To understand Communication
Our words only tell part of the story. With no words at all we
can communicate volumes (Aronson et al 2005:95)
Communication can be articulated on two levels:
1. The verbal level is the intentional spoken transfer of
information; verbal communication is usually believed to
be under voluntary control (except perhaps for “slips of
the tongue”).
2. The nonverbal is concomitant behavioural signs and
indications (such as body language).
The distinction between voluntary and nonvoluntary control
has led people to confuse them with fakeable and
nonfakeable behaviour, with nonverbal behaviour deemed to
be “truer” than verbal. (Almagor 2012: 21)

17. & Sophisticated Modes of
Communication (Modalities)
• People exchange information using different sensory modes.
• Each person has her own primary style, which can be characterized as
intellectual, emotional, or kinesthetic.
• An intellectual person often says “I think . . .,” “I assume . . .,” “I believe . .
.,” and the like, suggesting that thinking is the major player in her verbal
expression.
• An emotional person uses emotional expressions on the verbal and
behavioral levels (e.g., saying “I feel . . .,” crying).
• A kinesthetic person is likely to use behavioral and somatic expressions,
such as “My heart beats faster” or “The blood drained from my face.”
When people using different modes try to transmit their feelings, they can
appear to be speaking different languages. The result could well be
resentment, frustration, helplessness, and greater emotional distance.
(Almagor 2012:24)
Can you mirror the modality of the person you are listening to?

18. Key Readings:
In Student Pack 1:
1. Aronson et al (2005), will
revisit ‘Non-Verbal
Communication’ and give
you a good introduction to
‘attribution theory’.
2. Day (2010), will emphasise
the importance of
studying families
systematically in order to
avoid ‘bias’ and implied
‘causation’.
Other sources consulted in this
presentation:
1. Carr (2012) “Family
Therapy: Concepts,
Process and Practice”
2. Almagor (2012)
“Functional Dialectic
System Approach to
Therapy for Individuals,
Couples, and Families”