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Library Research:
“Looking Through The Key Holes
    of Love & Infatuation”
                    English02 Defense: March 17, 2012



 Presented by:
 De Villa, Sherylen
 Gran, Ma. Angelica
 Marcos, Ilonah Marie                             Presented to:
 Soria, Racquel Kae                               Ms. Sybil Agreda
Introduction
Love, love, love?
      This is the phrase we usually hear and it is most commonly known as a sensation
that we magically feel whenever the right person comes along. But do we really know
what love is. It is one of the most difficult questions for mankind. Many years have
passed by, relationships have blossomed and so has love. But no one can determine
the truth behind the meaning of love. To some, love is friendship set on fire that takes
root and grows, one day at a time. For others, maybe love is a pure leap of fate. It is
where at the most unexpected moment it just suddenly comes around or sometimes
you even have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is
the most essential act of the human person. All our knowledge of being and willing of
anything are based on this prehistoric act of loving.
Just like any other teenager,

 we have this moment in our life
where we get the feeling of having
that one person we knew as Mr. or
Mrs. Right. It is an extreme emotion
of ecstasy where your heart pound,
made the sun brighten, and taken
over all reasonable thought that
you have in your dreams. It is when
reality is much better than your
dreams.
This intense feeling of love is somehow mistaken by many
of us. It is crazy little thing called love that everyone so desperately
needs. For some guys, they like girls because of their pretty faces
and for the girls, they like guys because he is handsome or good-
looking but this kind of “Cinderella Syndrome” when the girl is
waiting for her prince charming to come is not real love at all. It is
better known as “Infatuation”, the state of being completely carried
away by unreasoned passion or an addictive love where there is
keyhole between it and real love.
•We, the researchers hoped that the findings of this
study would enable the boys and girls to understand the
difference between love and infatuation.

•Understanding this matter served as a guide to young people to
be open to the possibility that more good may be accomplished
by informing them of the facts and not by keeping them ignorant
with this matter.


 This study aims to present, in an open and
forthright manner the differences between love and
infatuation. It will specifically answer the question on
how and why the two emotions differ.
Body
Related literature
         A young person named Abigail
    Van Buren, the famous newspaper
    columnist said, when love hits you,
    you won’t just know for it can either
    be love or just mere infatuation.
    Infatuation is a strange mixture of sex
    and emotions.

        It is defined in the dictionary as
    “completely      carried   away     by
    unreasoning passion or attraction”. It
    comes from the Latin word that
    means “silly or foolish”.
Related literature



    Clifford H. Swensen, has developed an instrument
that assesses how love is manifested and to what extent it
is expressed. Of course, love itself cannot be measured
directly but the manifestations of love can be studied and
gauged. He named this process of research as the love
inventory.
Argument

      The pendulum on the clock swung back
and forth much like our mind does, which was
swinging between two possibilities – Was I in
love or was I just infatuated?
Stages of LOVE
     There are five stages of love. In order to know deeply what
love is we have to know the stages that it undergoes.

    Infantile Love        Filial Love                 Pre-adolescent Love




   Peer Love                            Mature Love
Types of LOVE
     There are 4 types of love: security love, friendship love,
romantic love, and unconditional love. These types of love can
also be a basis in order for a person to know if it really is love that
he or she is currently feeling.
                      2. Friendship Love
                                                3. Romantic
                                                love

1. Security Love
4. Unconditional Love

  Lastly, the unconditional love is the sincere
love, the love that lasts forever. This kind of
love comes when you have found the person
you are destined to be with; this love is also
what we call true love.
Statistics
  •Research shows that the average college student will
experienced infatuation six to seven times and love once or twice.

   •One researcher conducted a study asking 500 young women if
they felt they were in love right at that moment.

  •72% said they thought to some degree they were.
  •27% said they probably or certainly were not.
  • While most youth think they are in love, many express real
doubts about it.

   •In other words more than half felt unsure. And we can
reasonably assure that many of those who reported they were in
love were actually experiencing infatuation.
FACTS
   Love and infatuation do have one thing in
common – strong feelings of affection for a
member of the opposite sex, which
complicates the matter of sorting out the
differences. The difference between the
two is not found in its definition but instead
it is found on its degree.
Common Between
       Love and Infatuation
• Love and infatuation share three similar symptoms:
  passion, nearness, and strange emotions.


• Passion may be present without genuine love. It is
  entirely possible to feel passionate or to have strong
  sexual feelings for a person you have not even met.
Common Between
         Love and Infatuation
•    Likewise, the desire to be near one another constantly can be
    just as overwhelming in infatuation as in genuine love.

• Experiencing strange emotions when you think about the
  other person is not valid either. You may feel like walking on
  air when everything is going well and downright ill when
  things go wrong. But this can happen just as frequently with
  real love as infatuation.
Truth About
   Love
      
Love Myth                        Love Reality
True love conquers all.            Love is not enough to make a
                                   relationship work—it needs
                                   compatibility and commitment
When it’s really true love, you    It takes just a moment to
will know it the moment you        experience infatuation, but
meet the other person              true love takes time
There is only one true love in     It is possible to experience true
the world that is right for you.   love with more than one
                                   person—there are many
                                   potential partners you could be
                                   happy with.
Your partner will fulfill and      The right partner will fulfill
provide all of your needs.         many of your needs but not all
                                   of them
Key holes between
love and infatuation
INFATUATIO                                               LOVE
       N
Is often based on nonsensical attributes      Looks deeply into the compatibility of
such as the way a person walks or laughs.     character traits, shared values and
Little things “send” you.                     common interest.

Often depends largely on physical             Considers other factors besides physical
attraction-the chills, thrills, heartthrobs   attraction. Physical attraction will make
and Goosebumps felt when touching the         up a smaller portion of the total
other person                                  relationship.
Often has a destructive and disorganizing     Brings out the best in you, promoting
effect on the personality, causing you to     personal growth, self-respect,ambition,
forget the realities of life.                 and improvement.

Often keeps you idealizing the other          Takes time to develop and mature. Just as
person so that you are unwilling to admit     it takes times to grow, it also takes time
any faults might exist                        for genuine love to end.
INFATUATIO                                              LOVE
      N
Often keep you idealizing the other       Recognizing fine qualities, but also
person so that you are unwilling to admit recognizes qualities that are less than
any faults might exist.                   perfect.

Often causes family and friends to         Brings approval of family and friends. They
disapprove of your choice.                 can see what your relationship does for
                                           both of you.

Often dies quickly when the other person Can survive a separation.
is gone.


Often includes frequent quarrels,          Reduces tension as you work toward open
arguments, and misunderstandings as a      discussion for solving problems without
consistent part of the relationship.       arguing.

Is more interested in what you can get     Is interested in sharing and giving to bring
from the relationship.                     happiness and security to the other.
INFATUATIO                                              LOVE
      N
   Often includes frequent and severe          Promotes trust and security, which
           feelings of jealousy.             enables you to release the other person.

    Is generally used to describe past       Usually describes present relationships,
              relationships.

  Often focuses on unsuitable persons.          Is more often directed to suitable
                                                            persons.

Often includes frequent feelings of guilt,      Is characterized by feelings of self-
       insecurity, and frustation.                confidence, trust, and security.

    Is most frequent among young                Grows over a period of time with
  adolescents and immature persons.             emotional & biological maturity.

  Can occur easily immediately after a       Will develop slowly following a previous
previous love relationship has just ended.                  love affair.
INFATUATION                                                LOVE
Is often followed by boredom once sexual     Produces an ongoing sense of interest and
excitement dies off.                         joy when together.

Requires that the couple must depend on      Sparks interest in each other and
external amusement in order to enjoy         commonly shared activities.
themselves.
Changes your relationship very little even   Changes and grows deeper with ongoing
though you go together for a long time.      association.

Is often accompanied by shallow feelings     Provides a climate of deepening feelings
and sensations that simply “send” you.       and growing intimacy as you share more of
                                             life with your lover.
Often lasts only a short time.               Tends to last for a long period of time.


Often exploits the other person to your      Protects, nurtures, and cares for the
advantage.                                   other person.

Is always a poor basis for marriage          Is enough to build a marriage on—if all
                                             other factors are right.
Conclusion
  Nowadays, people often fall into a
relationship full of confusions and doubts.
These were the questions being pondered
upon by persons undergoing the 2 puzzling
emotions: Asking how a particular feeling
should be accessed or valued. How they know
that they are really in love? Or else if they only
feel infatuated?
•In this research, the differences between
love and infatuation were presented fairly and
clearly provided with the review of related
literature of each topic.

  • Love and infatuation are the two puzzling
emotions that a person feels. Based on the
significant findings of the study, the following
conclusions were made:
 Studies shows that majority of the young people are confused
 of their feelings whether they are in love or not.

 It is therefore to conclude that in coming up with a decision;
each individual should first analyze and take a deep understanding
of how he or she feels.


 It is not always about the physical appearance that matters for
a person to jump up with a conclusion and assumed that they are
already in love because you may misinterpret your feelings that
will result to a ruined relationship.
 Factors such as passion, nearness, and strong emotions must
be well evaluated in order to know the difference between the 2
emotions.

 The list of keyholes and truths about love & infatuation can be
a guideline to young people and will truly help them to specifically
differentiate the 2 puzzling emotions.


 It is highlighted in this study that love is all about the reality not
your dreams and not how you think about it.
Recommendations/
   Tips/ Advices
Define love by its degree for feelings cannot exactly
be defined through words and also be aware of
moments when you feel love towards anyone or
anything.
Consider your motives, what are you each getting
from the situation, especially if it is progressing too
quickly.
Think about whether you'd feel the same way if the
other person's looks were to change or is it just
attraction.
Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment. See to it that
you understand the meaning behind those 3
significant words, for these words would guide you
through the journey of your relationship.
Endure for a time. Time does seem to be the only
healer. Have some time for yourself instead of looking
for love so desperately to avoid having a relationship
that was founded by false love, which is infatuation.


Accept the facts that sometimes love does fail for it
has become its natural cycle.
References
Fabella, D. A., & Angel, M. A. (2002). The best of love, courtship, & marriage.
    Manila: Phillippine Publishing House.

Pelt, N. V. (1989). The compleat courtship. Manila: Philippine Publishing
     House.

Anonymous. (2003) The new international webter's comprehensive dictionary of
   the english language. Florida: Typhoon International Corporation.

De Angelis, B. (1992). Are you the one for me? New York, New York: Dell
    Publishing.

Ashleyv. (2009, December 1). Love or infatuation – the eternal debate. Retrieved
    March 16, 2012 from www.authspot.com/thoughts/love-or-
    infatuation-the-eternal-debate/

C, Krystal. (2010). How to define love. Retrieved March 17, 2012 from
    www.wikihow.com/Define-Love

Anonymous. (2002). What is love. Retrieved March 17, 2012 from
www.love-sessions.com/whatislove.htm

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Final presentation

  • 1. Library Research: “Looking Through The Key Holes of Love & Infatuation” English02 Defense: March 17, 2012 Presented by: De Villa, Sherylen Gran, Ma. Angelica Marcos, Ilonah Marie Presented to: Soria, Racquel Kae Ms. Sybil Agreda
  • 3. Love, love, love? This is the phrase we usually hear and it is most commonly known as a sensation that we magically feel whenever the right person comes along. But do we really know what love is. It is one of the most difficult questions for mankind. Many years have passed by, relationships have blossomed and so has love. But no one can determine the truth behind the meaning of love. To some, love is friendship set on fire that takes root and grows, one day at a time. For others, maybe love is a pure leap of fate. It is where at the most unexpected moment it just suddenly comes around or sometimes you even have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the most essential act of the human person. All our knowledge of being and willing of anything are based on this prehistoric act of loving.
  • 4. Just like any other teenager, we have this moment in our life where we get the feeling of having that one person we knew as Mr. or Mrs. Right. It is an extreme emotion of ecstasy where your heart pound, made the sun brighten, and taken over all reasonable thought that you have in your dreams. It is when reality is much better than your dreams.
  • 5. This intense feeling of love is somehow mistaken by many of us. It is crazy little thing called love that everyone so desperately needs. For some guys, they like girls because of their pretty faces and for the girls, they like guys because he is handsome or good- looking but this kind of “Cinderella Syndrome” when the girl is waiting for her prince charming to come is not real love at all. It is better known as “Infatuation”, the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or an addictive love where there is keyhole between it and real love.
  • 6. •We, the researchers hoped that the findings of this study would enable the boys and girls to understand the difference between love and infatuation. •Understanding this matter served as a guide to young people to be open to the possibility that more good may be accomplished by informing them of the facts and not by keeping them ignorant with this matter.  This study aims to present, in an open and forthright manner the differences between love and infatuation. It will specifically answer the question on how and why the two emotions differ.
  • 8. Related literature A young person named Abigail Van Buren, the famous newspaper columnist said, when love hits you, you won’t just know for it can either be love or just mere infatuation. Infatuation is a strange mixture of sex and emotions. It is defined in the dictionary as “completely carried away by unreasoning passion or attraction”. It comes from the Latin word that means “silly or foolish”.
  • 9. Related literature Clifford H. Swensen, has developed an instrument that assesses how love is manifested and to what extent it is expressed. Of course, love itself cannot be measured directly but the manifestations of love can be studied and gauged. He named this process of research as the love inventory.
  • 10. Argument The pendulum on the clock swung back and forth much like our mind does, which was swinging between two possibilities – Was I in love or was I just infatuated?
  • 11. Stages of LOVE There are five stages of love. In order to know deeply what love is we have to know the stages that it undergoes. Infantile Love Filial Love Pre-adolescent Love Peer Love Mature Love
  • 12. Types of LOVE There are 4 types of love: security love, friendship love, romantic love, and unconditional love. These types of love can also be a basis in order for a person to know if it really is love that he or she is currently feeling. 2. Friendship Love 3. Romantic love 1. Security Love
  • 13. 4. Unconditional Love Lastly, the unconditional love is the sincere love, the love that lasts forever. This kind of love comes when you have found the person you are destined to be with; this love is also what we call true love.
  • 14. Statistics •Research shows that the average college student will experienced infatuation six to seven times and love once or twice. •One researcher conducted a study asking 500 young women if they felt they were in love right at that moment. •72% said they thought to some degree they were. •27% said they probably or certainly were not. • While most youth think they are in love, many express real doubts about it. •In other words more than half felt unsure. And we can reasonably assure that many of those who reported they were in love were actually experiencing infatuation.
  • 15. FACTS Love and infatuation do have one thing in common – strong feelings of affection for a member of the opposite sex, which complicates the matter of sorting out the differences. The difference between the two is not found in its definition but instead it is found on its degree.
  • 16. Common Between Love and Infatuation • Love and infatuation share three similar symptoms: passion, nearness, and strange emotions. • Passion may be present without genuine love. It is entirely possible to feel passionate or to have strong sexual feelings for a person you have not even met.
  • 17. Common Between Love and Infatuation • Likewise, the desire to be near one another constantly can be just as overwhelming in infatuation as in genuine love. • Experiencing strange emotions when you think about the other person is not valid either. You may feel like walking on air when everything is going well and downright ill when things go wrong. But this can happen just as frequently with real love as infatuation.
  • 18. Truth About Love  
  • 19. Love Myth Love Reality True love conquers all. Love is not enough to make a relationship work—it needs compatibility and commitment When it’s really true love, you It takes just a moment to will know it the moment you experience infatuation, but meet the other person true love takes time There is only one true love in It is possible to experience true the world that is right for you. love with more than one person—there are many potential partners you could be happy with. Your partner will fulfill and The right partner will fulfill provide all of your needs. many of your needs but not all of them
  • 20. Key holes between love and infatuation
  • 21. INFATUATIO LOVE N Is often based on nonsensical attributes Looks deeply into the compatibility of such as the way a person walks or laughs. character traits, shared values and Little things “send” you. common interest. Often depends largely on physical Considers other factors besides physical attraction-the chills, thrills, heartthrobs attraction. Physical attraction will make and Goosebumps felt when touching the up a smaller portion of the total other person relationship. Often has a destructive and disorganizing Brings out the best in you, promoting effect on the personality, causing you to personal growth, self-respect,ambition, forget the realities of life. and improvement. Often keeps you idealizing the other Takes time to develop and mature. Just as person so that you are unwilling to admit it takes times to grow, it also takes time any faults might exist for genuine love to end.
  • 22. INFATUATIO LOVE N Often keep you idealizing the other Recognizing fine qualities, but also person so that you are unwilling to admit recognizes qualities that are less than any faults might exist. perfect. Often causes family and friends to Brings approval of family and friends. They disapprove of your choice. can see what your relationship does for both of you. Often dies quickly when the other person Can survive a separation. is gone. Often includes frequent quarrels, Reduces tension as you work toward open arguments, and misunderstandings as a discussion for solving problems without consistent part of the relationship. arguing. Is more interested in what you can get Is interested in sharing and giving to bring from the relationship. happiness and security to the other.
  • 23. INFATUATIO LOVE N Often includes frequent and severe Promotes trust and security, which feelings of jealousy. enables you to release the other person. Is generally used to describe past Usually describes present relationships, relationships. Often focuses on unsuitable persons. Is more often directed to suitable persons. Often includes frequent feelings of guilt, Is characterized by feelings of self- insecurity, and frustation. confidence, trust, and security. Is most frequent among young Grows over a period of time with adolescents and immature persons. emotional & biological maturity. Can occur easily immediately after a Will develop slowly following a previous previous love relationship has just ended. love affair.
  • 24. INFATUATION LOVE Is often followed by boredom once sexual Produces an ongoing sense of interest and excitement dies off. joy when together. Requires that the couple must depend on Sparks interest in each other and external amusement in order to enjoy commonly shared activities. themselves. Changes your relationship very little even Changes and grows deeper with ongoing though you go together for a long time. association. Is often accompanied by shallow feelings Provides a climate of deepening feelings and sensations that simply “send” you. and growing intimacy as you share more of life with your lover. Often lasts only a short time. Tends to last for a long period of time. Often exploits the other person to your Protects, nurtures, and cares for the advantage. other person. Is always a poor basis for marriage Is enough to build a marriage on—if all other factors are right.
  • 25. Conclusion Nowadays, people often fall into a relationship full of confusions and doubts. These were the questions being pondered upon by persons undergoing the 2 puzzling emotions: Asking how a particular feeling should be accessed or valued. How they know that they are really in love? Or else if they only feel infatuated?
  • 26. •In this research, the differences between love and infatuation were presented fairly and clearly provided with the review of related literature of each topic. • Love and infatuation are the two puzzling emotions that a person feels. Based on the significant findings of the study, the following conclusions were made:
  • 27.  Studies shows that majority of the young people are confused of their feelings whether they are in love or not.  It is therefore to conclude that in coming up with a decision; each individual should first analyze and take a deep understanding of how he or she feels.  It is not always about the physical appearance that matters for a person to jump up with a conclusion and assumed that they are already in love because you may misinterpret your feelings that will result to a ruined relationship.
  • 28.  Factors such as passion, nearness, and strong emotions must be well evaluated in order to know the difference between the 2 emotions.  The list of keyholes and truths about love & infatuation can be a guideline to young people and will truly help them to specifically differentiate the 2 puzzling emotions.  It is highlighted in this study that love is all about the reality not your dreams and not how you think about it.
  • 29. Recommendations/ Tips/ Advices
  • 30. Define love by its degree for feelings cannot exactly be defined through words and also be aware of moments when you feel love towards anyone or anything. Consider your motives, what are you each getting from the situation, especially if it is progressing too quickly. Think about whether you'd feel the same way if the other person's looks were to change or is it just attraction.
  • 31. Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment. See to it that you understand the meaning behind those 3 significant words, for these words would guide you through the journey of your relationship. Endure for a time. Time does seem to be the only healer. Have some time for yourself instead of looking for love so desperately to avoid having a relationship that was founded by false love, which is infatuation. Accept the facts that sometimes love does fail for it has become its natural cycle.
  • 32. References Fabella, D. A., & Angel, M. A. (2002). The best of love, courtship, & marriage. Manila: Phillippine Publishing House. Pelt, N. V. (1989). The compleat courtship. Manila: Philippine Publishing House. Anonymous. (2003) The new international webter's comprehensive dictionary of the english language. Florida: Typhoon International Corporation. De Angelis, B. (1992). Are you the one for me? New York, New York: Dell Publishing. Ashleyv. (2009, December 1). Love or infatuation – the eternal debate. Retrieved March 16, 2012 from www.authspot.com/thoughts/love-or- infatuation-the-eternal-debate/ C, Krystal. (2010). How to define love. Retrieved March 17, 2012 from www.wikihow.com/Define-Love Anonymous. (2002). What is love. Retrieved March 17, 2012 from www.love-sessions.com/whatislove.htm