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Theory of Interpersonal Skills by Tai Tran

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Tai Tran
Tai Tran

Theory of Interpersonal Skills

EducationBusiness
1 of 71
The Theory of Interpersonal Skills Tai Tran Connect to me on Facebook www.taitran.com/facebook
i. introduction
Sets of skills ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
ii. barriers to communication
Common Communication Spoilers ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
iii. listening skills
Listening skills ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
iii. listening skills 1. attending skills
A posture of involvement ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Appropriate body motion ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Eye Contact ,[object Object],[object Object]
Non-distracting environment ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Psychological attention ,[object Object]
Listening skills ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
iii. listening skills 2. following skills
Following skills ,[object Object]
Door openers (1/2) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Door openers (2/2) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Minimal encourages ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Infrequent questions ,[object Object],[object Object]
Attentive silence ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Listening skills ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
iii. listening skills 3. reflecting skills
Paraphrasing ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Reflecting feelings ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Reflecting meanings ,[object Object],[object Object]
Summative reflections ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
iii. listening skills 4. six peculiarities of human communication
Six peculiarities of human communication ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Words: imprecise vehicles ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Guesswork ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],How meant How sent How received Thoughts and feelings  Actions and/or Words  Listener’s interpretation of the meaning behind Private, known only to the speaker Often imprecise or veiled expressions or concealment Private, known only to the listener
Presenting problem ,[object Object]
Blind to or blinded by emotions ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Listeners are easily distracted ,[object Object],[object Object]
Filters distort what heard ,[object Object],[object Object]
iii. listening skills 5. reading body language
Focus attention on most helpful clues ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Facial expressions ,[object Object],[object Object]
Vocal clues ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
iii. listening skills 6. improve listening
Improve Listening ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Suggestion of some feeling words ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Levels of intensity Levels of intensity Love Joy Strength Sadness Anger Fear Confusion Weakness Strong Adore Love Cherish Devoted Ecstatic Elated Overjoyed Jubilant Dynamic Forceful Powerful Mighty Desolate Anguished Despondent Depressed Violent Enraged Furious Angry Seething Terrified Horrified Panicky Desperate Bewildered Disjointed Confused Muddied Crushed Helpless Done for Washed up Mild Affection Desirable Friend Like Turned on Happy Cheerful Up Effective Strong Confident Able Glum Blue Sad Out of sorts Mad Frustrated Aggravated Frightened Scared Apprehensive Alarmed Mixed-up Foggy Baffled Lost Powerless Vulnerable Inept Unqualified Weak Trusted Accepted Cared for OK Glad Good Satisfied Contented Capable Competent Adequate Below par Displeased Dissatisfied Low Irritated Annoyed Put out Perturbed Worried On edge Nervous Timid Undecided Unsure Vague Unclear Weak Ineffective Feeble
When to listen reflectively ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
When not to listen reflectively ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
iv. assertion skills
The behavior continuum Submission Assertion Aggression
Submissive behavior ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Aggressive behavior ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Assertive behavior ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Effective assertion ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Three-part assertion message ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Non-judgmental descriptions of behavior (1) ,[object Object],Specific behavior description Fuzzy behavior description When you don’t shovel the snow from the driveway before going to school… When you don’t do your part around the house… When you arrive late for work three times this week… When you ignore the company policies… When you are not ready to leave for work by 7… When you dawdle over your breakfast…
Non-judgmental descriptions of behavior (2) ,[object Object],Behavior description Inferences When you cut off several people before they were finished… When you behaved so rudely at the meeting… When you left the meeting 25 minutes before your report was to be given… When you left the meeting early just because Frank criticized you…
Non-judgmental descriptions of behavior (3) ,[object Object],Behavior description Character assassination When you say women are incapable of being effective managers… When you behave like a male chauvinist pig… When you repeatedly talk more than others in class… When you have constipation of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth…
Non-judgmental descriptions of behavior (4) ,[object Object],Behavior description Use of absolutes When you are frequently late… When you are never on time… When you interrupt me before I have completed my statement… When you constantly interrupt me… When you park so that my bike is blocked in… When you always park to block others’ bike…
Non-judgmental descriptions of behavior (5) ,[object Object],Behavior description Use of profanity When you do not call to let me know you will be late for the meeting… When you drag your ass in here late for meeting day after day… When you do not have the report written at the time promised You lying pig, you promised that the report would be ready by 4
Non-judgmental descriptions of behavior (6) ,[object Object],Behavior description Use of judgmental words When you don’t return the can opener… When you hide the can opener on me… When you overspend our budget… When you waste our hard-earned money on unnecessary things…
Non-judgmental descriptions of behavior (6) ,[object Object],Brief behavior description Lengthy description When you are frequently late for meetings… When you get all involved in your non-work activities and forget about the meeting time and run in late and sweating…
Little things ,[object Object],[object Object]
Misattributed assertion ,[object Object]
Three-part assertion message ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Emotion substituting ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Three-part assertion message ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Tangible effect on the asserter Behavior description Disclosure of feeling Tangible effect Costs When you used my bike and didn’t refill the gas tank I feel unfairly treated Because I have to pay more money for gasoline Time consumption When you are frequently late to pick me up I feel frustrated Because my time is wasted while I wait for you Effectiveness When you call me at work and talk at length I feel tense Because I don’t get all my work done on schedule
Recommended process ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
v. collaborative problem solving
Alternatives of collaboration ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Six-step collaborative problem solving ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Reference ,[object Object]
Thank You! May 2007 Tai Tran More on my website www.taitran.com Connect to me on Facebook www.taitran.com/facebook

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Theory of Interpersonal Skills by Tai Tran

  • 1. The Theory of Interpersonal Skills Tai Tran Connect to me on Facebook www.taitran.com/facebook
  • 3.
  • 4. ii. barriers to communication
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  • 7.
  • 8. iii. listening skills 1. attending skills
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  • 15. iii. listening skills 2. following skills
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  • 23. iii. listening skills 3. reflecting skills
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  • 28. iii. listening skills 4. six peculiarities of human communication
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  • 36. iii. listening skills 5. reading body language
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  • 40. iii. listening skills 6. improve listening
  • 41.
  • 42.
  • 43. Levels of intensity Levels of intensity Love Joy Strength Sadness Anger Fear Confusion Weakness Strong Adore Love Cherish Devoted Ecstatic Elated Overjoyed Jubilant Dynamic Forceful Powerful Mighty Desolate Anguished Despondent Depressed Violent Enraged Furious Angry Seething Terrified Horrified Panicky Desperate Bewildered Disjointed Confused Muddied Crushed Helpless Done for Washed up Mild Affection Desirable Friend Like Turned on Happy Cheerful Up Effective Strong Confident Able Glum Blue Sad Out of sorts Mad Frustrated Aggravated Frightened Scared Apprehensive Alarmed Mixed-up Foggy Baffled Lost Powerless Vulnerable Inept Unqualified Weak Trusted Accepted Cared for OK Glad Good Satisfied Contented Capable Competent Adequate Below par Displeased Dissatisfied Low Irritated Annoyed Put out Perturbed Worried On edge Nervous Timid Undecided Unsure Vague Unclear Weak Ineffective Feeble
  • 44.
  • 45.
  • 47. The behavior continuum Submission Assertion Aggression
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  • 64.
  • 65. Tangible effect on the asserter Behavior description Disclosure of feeling Tangible effect Costs When you used my bike and didn’t refill the gas tank I feel unfairly treated Because I have to pay more money for gasoline Time consumption When you are frequently late to pick me up I feel frustrated Because my time is wasted while I wait for you Effectiveness When you call me at work and talk at length I feel tense Because I don’t get all my work done on schedule
  • 66.
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  • 69.
  • 70.
  • 71. Thank You! May 2007 Tai Tran More on my website www.taitran.com Connect to me on Facebook www.taitran.com/facebook