Here is the http://twankers.co.uk Twanker's Social Media Landscape Guide. If you use social media to talk about social media, then you'll need this. It'll help you understand which social media website to use to become famous and make money. Please download and share it amongst fellow Twankers.

1. THE TWANKER’S GUIDE TO:
2010 IS THE YEAR TWANKERS WILL TALK EVEN MORE ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA.
TALK ABOUT BECOME FAMOUS MAKE A MONKEY MAKE MONEY
SOCIAL MEDIA OF YOURSELF FOR YOURSELF
Awesome! A 24 x 7 Easy. Get lots of Be careful! Not You can make a
place to talk about followers. The more everyone on Twitter is packet, but only if you
thick. (Not in the UK
social media. Do it! you get the more anyway) Some may detect talk about how to use
famous you are. your shallowness Twitter or how to make
your teeth whiter.
Most people using You’ll be at The Oscars Whoa there!! Don’t add Great opportunity. Ask
Facebook tend to be pictures or links to places your friends and fans to
normal. Talking about in no time. Set up a where you,ve exposed send you money. Your
social media will confuse Fan page and yourself. Pictures from bank balance will have
them.Talk about sex or everyone will flock chatroulette.com are a big many 000s added to it
something like that too. there in seconds. no no. Put it away! within days.
It’s an online photo Including some images A bit like Facebook, Having become famous
album. Pictures of you from your latest photo don’t add any images of on Twitter, you will be able
talking about social media shoot at a recent Star Trek your private parts or of you to sell signed pictures of
just don’t cut it. You need or Warcraft convention drunk after 2 pints of yourself. £5 per picture for
words for people to read. may get you spotted. shandy. You may think it’s every follower could make
cool, but others won’t you £100!
To be frank, most people If you want to become Being active on LinkedIn This is a downward spiral
on LinkedIn are clueless known as an out of work means you’re a monkey. (or helix) into cardboard
and out of work. Hence loser, then this is the place Build your connections with city. You’ll end up at a start-
they’re on there looking for be. Join lots of groups to fill other monkeys and tell up with no money which will
fancy jobs. Steer clear. up your inbox and feel each other how important go bust in weeks. Probably
extra special and important you are a social media agency.
YouTube is the future! This is probably the best Some videos don’t There are lots of videos,
Make loads of videos platform to become always turn out as we’d so making money directly
talking about social media famous. Get your children like them to. If they are is difficult. Just look at
and you’ll soon be on the to bite each other and shite, don’t publish them. Blockbusters! Take acting
real telly. Maybe on QI swallow a microphone. Aim Videos of your offices classes and get yourself
with Mr Fry! for “You’ve been Framed” always work a treat. spotted by quoting
Shakespeare.
“Digg” is rapper talk and “Digg” has cool buttons Be careful, you can over Each Digg of your social
hence cool. Rapping about (even mashed potato use do the social media media content is worth
social media is a very them). Stick you shades rapping, especially if you’re about 10p. You’ll soon
good thing to do. It will on and protect yourself stood next to Dizzy Rascal. have enough for a Texan
enhance your credibility. from the pap’s camera Make sure you pick the bar and a can of
flashes right moment. It’s crucial. Dandelion & Burdock
A well named site. People You may get spotted. So Safe territory, like many If you get spotted, cash in
may stumble upon some of get your tackle out and see other bookmarking sites. and charge extortionate
your social media musings. what bites...you could get a Feel free to post links to amounts. But the chances
Post them here, but don’t big fish nibbling at your you saying stuff like are very slim...slimmer
expect too much love to social media maggot. “people to people” you’ll than a really slim thing.
come your way get away with it.
Steer well clear! Talking about social media on this platform is a lost cause. It won’t be around much longer and
we expect it maybe sold off to AOL or some other Internet organisation struggling to adapt to the ever changing
Interweb thingy.
Contrary to the site name, Only niche fame here, not Only a remote chance of A remote chance of a few
no one has “read it”. This is mainstream. You may get a making a monkey of pennies. Post links to your
a place where you can post cult following from people yourself here, and that’s by speaker circuit events, some
links to sites and pretend who have no idea what spend too much time on unsuspecting laggard may
you have read it. you’re talking about, but the site. It’s full if SEO find you and pay you to
pretend they do. types….quite smelly. speak at their organisation
Not as tasty as it sounds. Not a chance! Using this Very little chance of No money here. You’d be
You can save links to your for a “fame strategy” is a making a monkey of better off walking through
social media blog posts non starter. You may as yourself here. You could tube trains with a paper
here, but no one will read well audition for the X probably make many faux cup, like many other social
them. Probably only good Factor. pas’ and get away with it, media gurus.
for old fashioned SEO link No one will see it.
building