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SIMPLE 
WAYS TO 
BUILD YOUR 
CONFIDENCE 
INSPIRED BY
MEET KATTY KAY & 
CLAIRE SHIPMAN! 
Broadcast journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman are 
the authors of the bestselling Womenomics and, most 
recently, The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of 
Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know. When 
researching confidence, they explored neuroscience, 
psychology, cognition and genetics and interviewed 
successful women in every field from politics to sports.
Katty Kay and Claire Shipman 
answered questions about 
confidence from members of 
Connect: Professional Women’s 
Network. Here’s some of their 
most popular advice.
Is everyone scared, and 
some people just fake it 
better than others? Yes. 
We’ve found that a 
surprising number of women 
feel like imposters, and men 
tell us they often lack 
confidence, too. While men 
use that as a motivation for 
action, women tend to 
hesitate—and often opt out. 
But we can change that. 
Remember that it’s 
NORMAL to be afraid, and 
then move on to action.
How do you regain your confidence when you’ve taken a risk and it 
hasn’t worked out? The first thing you need to do is use some self-compassion. 
Then recognize that taking risks—and failing—is part of 
success. Start, as quickly as possible, to see what you can learn from it—it’s 
important to move your mind in the direction of “next time” as quickly as 
possible. Finally, congratulate yourself for being a risk-taker.
QUICK 
CONFIDENCE BOOSTER! 
Identify a small risk—something you 
can accomplish in 15 minutes. Set 
your timer and do it. Notice how you 
feel, and how you’re now ready to 
take on something else.
Does the “fake it till you make it” approach work? For women, 
we don’t suggest “faking it” only because we feel like imposters. 
It’s almost more useful to adopt the Nike slogan “Just Do It.” 
Realize it’s OK to be nervous, and then make action the 
antidote. Action is what will ultimately create more confidence.
Any tips for how to be more confident when it comes to public 
speaking? Shift from “me” to “we.” Literally change the “I’s” and 
“me’s” in your address to “we” or “the mission of the team.” 
Women draw a lot of power from speaking for a group, but we are 
less comfortable promoting ourselves.
How can I feel more 
confident asking for a 
raise? First, know the 
market rate. Have 
an ongoing dialogue 
with your supervisors 
to make them aware of 
your accomplishments, 
and make the money 
conversation as 
matter-of-fact as 
possible: “Here’s the 
value I bring to the 
company and its 
bottom line, and here’s 
what I think I deserve.”
QUICK 
CONFIDENCE BOOSTER! 
Be honest about your talents—write 
them down, celebrate them. 
Interestingly, when you do that, 
recognizing your weaknesses is no 
longer a confidence crusher.
What advice do you have for raising confident daughters? Ban 
perfectionism! Encouraging girls to be “good” all the time plants 
the seed of always trying to be perfect later in life. Girls internalize 
the lesson that they always need to get everything right to reach 
the top of the class, but this ends up smothering achievement.
RAISE CONFIDENT 
DAUGHTERS! 
• Praise daughters moderately, not 
excessively. Saying “Well done for working 
so hard on this” is much better than “You 
are the best student ever.” 
• Help your daughter feel satisfied when 
she’s done her best, regardless of whether 
she’s done better or worse than others. 
• Show your daughter you aren’t perfect 
either. When you make a mistake, don’t 
hide it. Then show her the world didn’t 
end just because you messed up.
I’m just starting my career. How can I feel confident when everyone else 
knows so much more? First, recognize your skills. Be honest about your 
accomplishments (most women undervalue them), and then you can see 
that you are valuable. Second, stop worrying and analyzing! Women 
ruminate, and it undermines our confidence. Go outside your comfort zone 
and keep pushing through the hurdles, rejections and learning hiccups.
I’m returning to work after taking time off. Any advice for bolstering 
my confidence after an absence? The more matter-of-fact you are 
about why you took time off, the better. But you don’t need to dwell. 
Keep the focus on what you have done and what you can do. NOBODY 
is as focused on your perceived lack of qualifications as you are.
QUICK 
CONFIDENCE BOOSTER! 
Take a half hour while you’re working 
and become aware of your internal 
dialogue. Be on alert for any 
obsessive or catastrophic thinking. 
Practice halting the negative ideas 
with an alternative positive scenario. 
Notice how the intervention 
stops the cycle.
I had lots of confidence when I was younger, but it seems to 
decrease as I get older. How can I build it back? Early in your career, 
you probably had to do things quite frequently that stretched or 
pushed you a bit. It’s important that we keep stretching and pushing 
ourselves and not remain in our comfort zones—even when it’s so 
much cozier and safer to keep doing what we do very well.
I sometimes get negative 
reactions to my 
confidence. How do you 
recommend handling 
these? We find that 
balancing confidence with 
a good bit of warmth is a 
big help. It’s definitely not 
a good idea to apologize 
for your expertise—just 
focus on being authentic.
KILL THE NATS 
(NEGATIVE AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS) 
Every time you think a negative 
thought, remind yourself of three good 
things you did. This puts the minor 
failure in perspective. It reminds you 
that while you may have had one 
setback, you’ve also had triumphs. If 
you keep doing this and make it a part 
of your mental routine, you will train 
your brain to think differently.
JOIN THE CONVERSATION! 
LinkedIn and Citi’s Connect: Professional Women’s Network is an 
online community with more than 375,000 members that helps 
women achieve the careers they want and discuss issues relevant 
to their success. 
For more great insights on confidence, check out 
Katty Kay and Claire Shipman’s discussion in Connect. 
Visit linkedin.com/womenconnect for more 
information and to join the group for free! 
PHOTO CREDITS: 
4: MoMo Productions/Getty Images 
9, 11, 16: Thomas Barwick/Getty Images 
13: luckyraccoon/Getty Images 
17: Dave and Les Jacobs/Getty Images 
©2014 LinkedIn Corporation. All Rights Reserved.
CONNECT: PROFESSIONAL ©2014 LinkedIn Corporation. All Rights Reserved. WOMEN’S NETWORK 20

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Simple Ways to Build Confidence

  • 1. SIMPLE WAYS TO BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE INSPIRED BY
  • 2. MEET KATTY KAY & CLAIRE SHIPMAN! Broadcast journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman are the authors of the bestselling Womenomics and, most recently, The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know. When researching confidence, they explored neuroscience, psychology, cognition and genetics and interviewed successful women in every field from politics to sports.
  • 3. Katty Kay and Claire Shipman answered questions about confidence from members of Connect: Professional Women’s Network. Here’s some of their most popular advice.
  • 4. Is everyone scared, and some people just fake it better than others? Yes. We’ve found that a surprising number of women feel like imposters, and men tell us they often lack confidence, too. While men use that as a motivation for action, women tend to hesitate—and often opt out. But we can change that. Remember that it’s NORMAL to be afraid, and then move on to action.
  • 5. How do you regain your confidence when you’ve taken a risk and it hasn’t worked out? The first thing you need to do is use some self-compassion. Then recognize that taking risks—and failing—is part of success. Start, as quickly as possible, to see what you can learn from it—it’s important to move your mind in the direction of “next time” as quickly as possible. Finally, congratulate yourself for being a risk-taker.
  • 6. QUICK CONFIDENCE BOOSTER! Identify a small risk—something you can accomplish in 15 minutes. Set your timer and do it. Notice how you feel, and how you’re now ready to take on something else.
  • 7. Does the “fake it till you make it” approach work? For women, we don’t suggest “faking it” only because we feel like imposters. It’s almost more useful to adopt the Nike slogan “Just Do It.” Realize it’s OK to be nervous, and then make action the antidote. Action is what will ultimately create more confidence.
  • 8. Any tips for how to be more confident when it comes to public speaking? Shift from “me” to “we.” Literally change the “I’s” and “me’s” in your address to “we” or “the mission of the team.” Women draw a lot of power from speaking for a group, but we are less comfortable promoting ourselves.
  • 9. How can I feel more confident asking for a raise? First, know the market rate. Have an ongoing dialogue with your supervisors to make them aware of your accomplishments, and make the money conversation as matter-of-fact as possible: “Here’s the value I bring to the company and its bottom line, and here’s what I think I deserve.”
  • 10. QUICK CONFIDENCE BOOSTER! Be honest about your talents—write them down, celebrate them. Interestingly, when you do that, recognizing your weaknesses is no longer a confidence crusher.
  • 11. What advice do you have for raising confident daughters? Ban perfectionism! Encouraging girls to be “good” all the time plants the seed of always trying to be perfect later in life. Girls internalize the lesson that they always need to get everything right to reach the top of the class, but this ends up smothering achievement.
  • 12. RAISE CONFIDENT DAUGHTERS! • Praise daughters moderately, not excessively. Saying “Well done for working so hard on this” is much better than “You are the best student ever.” • Help your daughter feel satisfied when she’s done her best, regardless of whether she’s done better or worse than others. • Show your daughter you aren’t perfect either. When you make a mistake, don’t hide it. Then show her the world didn’t end just because you messed up.
  • 13. I’m just starting my career. How can I feel confident when everyone else knows so much more? First, recognize your skills. Be honest about your accomplishments (most women undervalue them), and then you can see that you are valuable. Second, stop worrying and analyzing! Women ruminate, and it undermines our confidence. Go outside your comfort zone and keep pushing through the hurdles, rejections and learning hiccups.
  • 14. I’m returning to work after taking time off. Any advice for bolstering my confidence after an absence? The more matter-of-fact you are about why you took time off, the better. But you don’t need to dwell. Keep the focus on what you have done and what you can do. NOBODY is as focused on your perceived lack of qualifications as you are.
  • 15. QUICK CONFIDENCE BOOSTER! Take a half hour while you’re working and become aware of your internal dialogue. Be on alert for any obsessive or catastrophic thinking. Practice halting the negative ideas with an alternative positive scenario. Notice how the intervention stops the cycle.
  • 16. I had lots of confidence when I was younger, but it seems to decrease as I get older. How can I build it back? Early in your career, you probably had to do things quite frequently that stretched or pushed you a bit. It’s important that we keep stretching and pushing ourselves and not remain in our comfort zones—even when it’s so much cozier and safer to keep doing what we do very well.
  • 17. I sometimes get negative reactions to my confidence. How do you recommend handling these? We find that balancing confidence with a good bit of warmth is a big help. It’s definitely not a good idea to apologize for your expertise—just focus on being authentic.
  • 18. KILL THE NATS (NEGATIVE AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS) Every time you think a negative thought, remind yourself of three good things you did. This puts the minor failure in perspective. It reminds you that while you may have had one setback, you’ve also had triumphs. If you keep doing this and make it a part of your mental routine, you will train your brain to think differently.
  • 19. JOIN THE CONVERSATION! LinkedIn and Citi’s Connect: Professional Women’s Network is an online community with more than 375,000 members that helps women achieve the careers they want and discuss issues relevant to their success. For more great insights on confidence, check out Katty Kay and Claire Shipman’s discussion in Connect. Visit linkedin.com/womenconnect for more information and to join the group for free! PHOTO CREDITS: 4: MoMo Productions/Getty Images 9, 11, 16: Thomas Barwick/Getty Images 13: luckyraccoon/Getty Images 17: Dave and Les Jacobs/Getty Images ©2014 LinkedIn Corporation. All Rights Reserved.
  • 20. CONNECT: PROFESSIONAL ©2014 LinkedIn Corporation. All Rights Reserved. WOMEN’S NETWORK 20