I used to think that confidence was like a room that I wanted to be able to walk into anytime. After a deep dive into the psychology of confidence, I know that the opposite is true - when I'm not confident, it's like I'm trapped in an Escape Room challenge, and all I need to do is solve the puzzle. Here's what I learned.

1. I used to think “confidence” was like a room I could step into when I needed it.
I kept looking for a map and a key.

2. Now I see that it’s the opposite.
When I’m not confident, it’s like I’m
trapped in an escape room challenge,
and I just need to solve the puzzles.

3. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
CONFIDENCE
“Belief that you can handle whatever happens.”
“A quiet inner knowledge that you’re capable.”

4. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
CONFIDENCE
COURAGE
“Willingness to act despite fear or danger.”
“Belief that you can handle whatever happens.”
“A quiet inner knowledge that you’re capable.”

5. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
CONFIDENCE
COURAGE
“Belief that you can handle whatever happens.”
“Willingness to act despite fear or danger.”
Effortless
Energizing Effortful
Draining

6. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
CONFIDENCE EBBS AND FLOWS

7. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
Some lucky people have a higher resting state,
recover faster, and less variance.

8. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
CONFIDENCE
COURAGE
“Belief that you can handle whatever happens.”
“Willingness to act despite fear or danger.”
HELPERS
Validating experiences
Experiences “making it through”
Being prepared/knowledge
Familiarity/trust/tribe/kinship
Testosterone
IMPEDIMENTS TO CONFIDENCE
Invalidating experiences
Beliefs & assumptions about others
Trauma
Cortisol

9. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
THINGS I’VE DISCOVERED ABOUT CONFIDENCE
It’s biological.
It’s situational.
It’s constructed over time.

10. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
CONFIDENCE IS PART OF THE
BIO-SOCIAL SYSTEM OF EMOTION

11. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
EMOTIONS HAVE THREE COMPONENTS
Physiology Thoughts Action Urges
Testosterone, Cortisol,
Dopamine, Serotonin.
Genetics, Epigenics,
Heart Rate, Dry
Mouth, Sweat
(Includes Stereotype
Threat).
Thoughts are
involuntary
chemical/electrical
events in the brain.
Many are neither
accurate nor helpful.
(Includes Impostor
Syndrome)
Make yourself small /
large, talk fast / slow,
talk more / less, eat ice
cream, nap, run away,
hide, fight.

12. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
BIOLOGY THOUGHTS ACTION URGES

13. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
BIOLOGY THOUGHTS ACTION URGES
YOUR
EFFECTIVENESS
IN THE MOMENT

14. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
VULNERABILITY
FACTORS
BIOLOGY THOUGHTS ACTION URGES
YOUR
EFFECTIVENESS
IN THE MOMENT

15. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
VULNERABILITY
FACTORS
BIOLOGY THOUGHTS ACTION URGES
YOUR
EFFECTIVENESS
IN THE MOMENT
SITUATIONAL
CONTEXT

16. © 2019 Janice Fraser and Seneca VC
@clevergirl
BIO-SOCIAL SYSTEM OF EMOTIONS
VULNERABILITY
FACTORS
BIOLOGY THOUGHTS ACTION URGES
YOUR
EFFECTIVENESS
IN THE MOMENT
SITUATIONAL
CONTEXT

19. Amy Duke says, in a
negotiation…
“The person who
cares least wins.”

20. • Write and then Read back to yourself, a list of 4 times you
felt powerful
• Write out your best strengths.
• Write out a time when you felt mastery
• Write out attributes you share with a favorite “celebrity”
STRENGTHS ARE YOUR
RIDE-OR-DIE
MITIGATE YOUR GAPS
“PITCHERCIZE”
• Learn voraciously
• Ask for help
• Find a coach/mentor
• Recruit a volunteer
• PRACTICE
• PRACTICE
• PRACTICE
• PRACTICE
• Without slides. Impromptu. Set to music.
Relentlessly. Conversationally and
scripted. Sing it! Dance while pitching!
• GET TOLD NO x20 and notice that you survived.CRITIQUE
REDUCE VULNERABILITY FACTORS

21. CREATE YOUR OWN
AFFIRMING SITUATIONAL CONTEXT
There are thousands of VCs, of every type. The network of
entrepreneurship is vast. There is no one way to succeed. But there
is only one you.
● Reduce the stakes.
● The person who cares less wins.
Best version of yourself is better than pretending to be what
someone thinks other person wants you to be.
● Remember Sasha Fierce
● Choose the power chair in the room
● Lipstick
● Eccentric clothing (drag persona)
● Memory token in my pocket (eg, card with
your most powerful moment)
ENGAGE AN ABUNDANCE MINDSET
YOU DO YOU
POWER TOKENS
(these are mine, yours may be different)
EMPATHIZE WITH THE OTHER PERSON
● VCs are scared too. They have investors, too.
● Meet them where they are.
● It’s a trust relationship. If you’re from
different worlds, it can be harder to
understand and trust each other. We have to
step farther.

22. IN THE MOMENT
MANAGE YOUR THOUGHTS, URGES, SENSATIONS
Recall a time when you felt powerful (notecard in your pocket).
Notice and name negative thoughts. (“I had a thought that...”)
Notice and name symptoms of stress and fear you are experiencing,
then Intervene privately.
In the bathroom: Power pose. Wall sit.
At the table: Breathe in for 4 out for 8 like through a straw.
Touch the card in your pocket, and take a moment to be
Freddie Mercury walking onstage at Wembly
• Stereotype Threat
• Imposter Syndrome
DON’T PSYCH
YOURSELF OUT
Notice and resist urges to make yourself small.
Make eye contact with someone while speaking.
Avoid eye contact with someone while listening.
THOUGHTS
BIOLOGY/SENSATIONS
URGES

23. Thank you!
The slides are online at:
slideshare.net/clevergirl
www.seneca.vc
janice@seneca.vc