This document provides tongue-in-cheek advice on how to behave like a "security jerk" as a developer, sysadmin, or end user. It suggests storing passwords in plain text, requiring outdated library versions, inventing one's own cryptographic algorithms, disabling security features like SELINUX, clicking on links without caution, and pasting passwords into pastebins. The document links to a previous edition that provides similar mock advice and links to a website with security-related content.

1. @CreativeConnard
The Guide
of Security
Jerk
Code of conduct is for bastards
RMLL Sec 2016 – Rump session

2. @CreativeConnard
Previous edition
Le Guide du Connard du Logiciel Libre
https://2015.rmll.info/le-guide-du-connard-du-logiciel-libre

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HOW TO
be a security jerk
~ Developer ~
~ Sysadmin ~
~ End user ~

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Developer
Store passwords in base64 (or in base32 for 32bits systems)※
Require specific lib versions and discourage any upgrade※
Invent your own cryptographic algorithm※

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Sysadmin
export TLS_REQCERT=never (aka Malware In The Middle)※
Write your own Config Management (SSH for kids)※
Always run processes as root and disable SELINUX※

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End user
Don’t trust One Time Password as is it always changing※
Click everywhere, IT is a game※
Use pastebin as password manager※

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@CreativeConnard
Links for bastards
@DonJon_Legacy
http://donjonlegacy.com/