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10 steps to fix your shitty pitch
jager mcconnell
ceo @ crunchbase
@jagermcconnell
international funded startup survival curve
0%
25%
50%
75%
100%
seed/angel
series
a
series
b
series
c
series
d
series
e
series
f
series
g
series
h
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
1. Complex concepts
crunchbase
Moz
2012: Raised $18M Series B
$29.1M in Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbase
Moz
2012: Raised $18M Series B
$29.1M in Total Funding
Still Operating
5
crunchbase
Nutanix
2014: Raised $140M Series E
$393.7M in Total Funding
Went Public in 2016
crunchbase
Airbnb
2009: Raised $600K Seed
$4.39B in Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbasecrunchbase
Cadee
2011: Raised Undisclosed Seed
Undisclosed Total Funding
Still Operating
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
1. Complex concepts
2. Unreadable text
crunchbase
Standard Treasury
2014: Raised $2.7M Series A
$2.7M in Total Funding
Acquired by Silicon Valley Bank
crunchbase
WeddingLovely
2011: Raised Undisclosed Seed
Undisclosed Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbase
MetaCert
2016: Raised $1.2M Seed
$1.94M in Total Funding
Still Operating
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
1. Complex concepts
2. Unreadable text
3. Confusing visuals
crunchbase
Square
2011: Raised $100M Series C
$590.5M in Total Funding
Public in 2015
crunchbase
Buffer
2011: Raised $400K Angel
$3.9M in Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbase
Trym
2016: Raised $125K Seed
$125K in Total Funding
Stealth Mode
16
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
1. Complex concepts
2. Unreadable text
3. Confusing visuals
4. Too wordy
crunchbase
Foursquare
2009: Raised $1.35M Series A
$207.3M in Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbase
Foursquare
2009: Raised $1.35M Series A
$207.3M in Total Funding
Still Operating
18
crunchbase
ClaimCompass
2016: Raised Undisclosed Seed
Undisclosed Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbase
MetaCert
2016: Raised $1.2M Seed
$1.94M in Total Funding
Still Operating
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
1. Complex concepts
2. Unreadable text
3. Confusing visuals
4. Too wordy
5. Audience-not-in-mind

crunchbase
GoFiture
2016: Raised Non Equity Assistance
Undisclosed Total Funding
Still Operating
23
crunchbase
Up All Night
2016: Raised $500K Seed
$625K in Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbase
Uber
2009: Raised $200K Seed
$11.5B in Total Funding
Still Operating
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
1. Complex concepts
2. Unreadable text
3. Confusing visuals
4. Too wordy
5. Audience-not-in-mind



6. Lots of buzzwords
crunchbase
Fittr
2014: Raised Undisclosed Seed
Undisclosed Total Funding
Not Operating
crunchbase
Fittr
2014: Raised Undisclosed Seed
Undisclosed Total Funding
Not Operating
crunchbase
Carta (formerly eShares)
2015: Raised $7M Series A
$67.8M in Total Funding
Still Operating
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
1. Complex concepts
2. Unreadable text
3. Confusing visuals
4. Too wordy
5. Audience-not-in-mind



6. Lots of buzzwords
7. Unusual metrics
crunchbase
Love With Food
2012: Raised $645K Seed
$2.09M in Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbase
Mapme
2015: Raised $1M Seed
$1M in Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbase
YouTube
2005: Raised $3.5M Series A
$11.5M in Total Funding
Acquired by Google
crunchbase
Soundwave
2012: Raised $1M Seed
$2.9M in Total Funding
Acquired by Spotify
crunchbase
Carta (formerly eShares)
2015: Raised $7M Series A
$67.8M in Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbase
Front App
2016: Raised $10M Series A
$13.2M in Total Funding
Still Operating
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
1. Complex concepts
2. Unreadable text
3. Confusing visuals
4. Too wordy
5. Audience-not-in-mind



6. Lots of buzzwords
7. Unusual metrics
8. Ego flaunting
crunchbase
Crema.co
2016: Raised $325K Seed
$325K in Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbase
TalentBase
2016: Raised $150K Seed
$150K in Total Funding
Still Operating
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
1. Complex concepts
2. Unreadable text
3. Confusing visuals
4. Too wordy
5. Audience-not-in-mind



6. Lots of buzzwords
7. Unusual metrics
8. Ego flaunting
9. Demo video
crunchbase
Cubeit
2014: Raised $3M Seed
$3M in Total Funding
Acquihire by Myntra
crunchbase
Crew
2014: Raised $2.1M Seed
$9.8M in Total Funding
Acquired by Dribble
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
1. Complex concepts
2. Unreadable text
3. Confusing visuals
4. Too wordy
5. Audience-not-in-mind



6. Lots of buzzwords
7. Unusual metrics
8. Ego flaunting
9. Demo video
10.Snooze fest
crunchbase
Wealthsimple
2014: Raised CA$1.9M Seed
$77.9M in Total Funding
Still Operating
crunchbase
LinkedIn
2004: Raised $10M Series B
$103.2M in Total Funding
Acquired by Microsoft
crunchbase
OpenDoor
2016: Raised $150K Seed
$150K in Total Funding
Still Operating
1. Complex concepts
2. Unreadable text
3. Confusing visuals
4. Too wordy
5. Audience-not-in-mind



6. Lots of buzzwords
7. Unusual metrics
8. Ego flaunting
9. Demo video
10.Snooze fest
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
1. Complex concepts
2. Unreadable text
3. Confusing visuals
4. Too wordy
5. Audience-not-in-mind



6. Lots of buzzwords
7. Unusual metrics
8. Ego flaunting
9. Demo video
10.Snooze fest
10 Tenets of a Shitty Pitch
- Vinod Khosla, Founder of Khosla Ventures
“Just because you get funded does not
mean you are successful.”

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