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Ian Forrester
@cubicgarden
Dating into the future?
Adult conversations only
@cubicgarden | http://diversity.wccnet.edu/lgbtqa/lgbtqa-info/ | https://jezebel.com/5674628/great-visual-maps-of-non-monogamous-relationships
Think LGBTQA+
Think non-monogamous relationships
No shaming or bashing
Let’s talk sex safety
Be respectful, don’t assume and keep things friendly
TEDxMCR Valentines day 2015
@cubicgarden | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6MfCdo6RoQ | https://www.slideshare.net/cubicgarden/dating-against-humanity
38 year old
divorcee,
left-leaning,
feminist & self
confessed geek
I’m @cubicgarden if interested
@cubicgarden
Expert by experience
Claire
A bit of a ethical serial dater
Compared to the typical number of dates people go on before committing to a relationship
The wikipedia of online dating
Northern Lass in The Guardian
Dating for science
@cubicgarden | https://cubicgarden.com/2007/12/16/how-to-have-more-sex-2/ | https://cubicgarden.com/2014/12/21/qs-metadating-in-newcastle/ | http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0791nhx
Where is online dating now?
@cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebehr/6922148295/ | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Romance:_An_Investigation
Online dating in 2010s
@cubicgarden | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Romance:_An_Investigation
“I thought the big changes in romance were obvious—technological
developments like smartphones, online dating, and social media sites.
As I dug deeper, however, I realized that the transformation of our
romantic lives cannot be explained by technology alone; there’s much
more to the story. In a very short period of time, the whole culture of
finding love and a mate has radically changed”
- Aziz Ansari
Online dating in 2010s
@cubicgarden | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Romance:_An_Investigation
“Today people spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect
person, a soul mate. The tools we use on this search are different, but
what has really changed is our desires and “even more strikingly” the
underlying goals of the search itself”
Why you should care?
The internet changed everything
@cubicgarden | credit - https://www.flickr.com/photos/thomasswilliams/17080992987
Collapsing geography & changing culture
@cubicgarden | https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating
People used to meet their partners through proximity, through family
and friends, but now Internet meeting is surpassing every other form.
“It’s changing so much about the way we act both romantically and
sexually,”
“A century ago people would find a decent person who lived in their
neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after they decided
neither party seemed like a murderer, the couple would get married
and have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-two”
- Aziz Ansari
Short and bitter sweet
@cubicgarden | https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/9489-you-ve-got-mail/images/backdrops | https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating
As soon as people could go online they were using it as a way to find
partners to date and have sex with. In the 90s it was Craigslist and
AOL chat rooms, then Match.com and Kiss.com.
But the lengthy, heartfelt e-mails exchanged by the main characters in
You’ve Got Mail (1998) seem positively Victorian in comparison to the
messages sent on the average dating app today.
“I’ll get a text that says, ‘Wanna fuck?’ ” says Jennifer, 22, a senior at
Indiana University Southeast, in New Albany. “They’ll tell you, ‘Come
over and sit on my face,’ ” says her friend, Ashley, 19.
Essential part of the human experience
@cubicgarden | credit - http://www.flickr.com/
Dominant way people meet
@cubicgarden | https://www.technologyreview.com/s/609091/first-evidence-that-online-dating-is-changing-the-nature-of-society/
Population relies on this all
@cubicgarden | https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/aug/23/baby-crisis-europe-brink-depopulation-disaster | https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationand
Future lies in the east?
@cubicgarden | https://www.vogue.com/article/chrissy-teigen-5-things-you-didnt-know | http://vrkanojo.com | https://thenextweb.com/contributors/2017/11/25/ai-sex-dolls-just-around-corner/
Too big for the private sector?
@cubicgarden | www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03fh0bg | http://uk.businessinsider.com/japanese-government-dating-services-2016-10
“… local Japanese governments have set up speed-dating services
where people can come to meet potential lifelong partners.
The programs come in response to the country's population woes.
Due primarily to younger generations losing interest in getting married
and starting families, the population has actually shrunk by more than
1 million since 2010”
Disturbing insights
The paradox of choice
@cubicgarden
Fetishisation of the profile photo
@cubicgarden | https://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/lauren-urasek-most-popular-woman-on-okcupid
Scams, catfish, blackmail, sextortion...
@cubicgarden | www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/jul/07/hoaxer-who-breaks-womens-hearts | uk.businessinsider.com/how-to-spot-dating-site-scammers-on-okcupid-and-tinder-2015-7
Cognitive burn-out
@cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/francisco_osorio/11979751175
Grass is greener syndrome
@cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/iceninejon/5054548426
Endemic corruption
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/staticpages/index.php?page=Match-com-Statistics-Facts-History
Fundamental mismatch
Matchgroup (IAC) own
OkCupid, POF, Tinder,
Howaboutwe, chemistry.com,
etc…
Valued at $5.8 Billion (2017)
Revenue $1.2 Billion (2016)
Net income $172.0 Million (2016)
Fake & ghost profiles
@cubicgarden | http://www.businessinsider.com/yuliana-avalos-lawsuit-against-match-2013-11 | http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b037wr14 | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lW_8D4o-GSI
Membership loop
@cubicgarden | https://www.themarysue.com/okcupid-pulls-why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating-match-com/
Revenue from attention & personal data
@cubicgarden
How much money per minute
@cubicgarden | https://appdevelopermagazine.com/5734/2017/12/6/this-is-how-much-dating-apps-make-every-minute/ | http://www.decluttr.com/money-dating-apps-make-per-minute
Paired-off daters = lost revenue
@cubicgarden
Lack of duty & care for its users
@cubicgarden http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/met-husband-plenty-fish-watching-14133044
Tinder is like crack?
@cubicgarden | http://theconversation.com/why-tinder-is-so-evilly-satisfying-72177 | http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/1120207/new-tinder-social-app
In a study on the brains of drug addicts, researchers found that the
expectation of the drug caused more release of the feel-good
neurotransmitter dopamine than the actual drug itself. Similarly, for
those who may be expecting the next swipe on Tinder to lead to
reward, serial swiping can start to look and feel a lot like
addiction.
In 2015 Tinder began to limit the amount of daily right swipes to
around 100 for users who don’t buy into their premium service.
There have already been reports of Tinder withdrawal for those who
have tried to break up with their Tinder account.
Gamification
@cubicgarden | https://www.psfk.com/2017/09/robotic-finger-swipes-right-6000-tinder-matches.html
Cultural change
Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”
@cubicgarden | https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating
As the polar ice caps melt and the earth churns through the Sixth
Extinction, another unprecedented phenomenon is taking place, in the
realm of sex. Hookup culture, which has been percolating for about a
hundred years, has collided with dating apps, which have acted like a
wayward meteor on the now dinosaur-like rituals of courtship. “We are
in uncharted territory” when it comes to Tinder et al.
Half of British Singles don’t do IRL
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=half-of-british-singles-have-never-asked-someone-out-irl
46% had never broken up with someone in person
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=half-of-british-singles-have-never-asked-someone-out-irl
Majority would rather check Tinder
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=half-of-british-singles-have-never-asked-someone-out-irl
It’s all fake accounts anyway
@cubicgarden | https://www.time.com/4362915/tinder-app-minors-teenagers/
Some dating sites allow under-18s to join. Tinder was one of them
until recently (2016) it had 7% of its users aged between 13 and 17
(outnumbering 35 to 44-year-olds!). Tinder is officially 18+ now, but
age limits aren't foolproof
One of many tinder games
@cubicgarden | https://www.triunetherapy.com/single-post/2017/09/29/The-Tinder-Game
1. Find the “hottest” person in the bar take a picture of them
2. Create a fake Facebook account, which is needed to create a
Tinder account
3. Back on Tinder swipe right on only the most “unattractive” people
4. Flirt with them, posing as the attractive person in the bar, and
invite them to the bar for a drink
5. Watch as they arrive looking for the hot person and the confusion
which follows
The fear of rejection
Alexandr Milov’s Love
@cubicgarden | https://www.thelifeisamazing.com/one-of-the-most-powerful-art-pieces-at-burning-man-this-year/
We have conflated intimacy with sex
@cubicgarden | https://tribecatherapy.com/4780/sex-intimacy-couples-therapy/
6 types of love
@cubicgarden | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/11/the-6-types-of-love_n_174016.html
1. Eros, or sexual passion
2. Philia, or deep friendship
3. Ludus, or playful love
4. Agape, or love for everyone
5. Pragma, or longstanding love
6. Philautia, or love of the self
What’s intimacy to you?
@cubicgarden | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS0Tg0IjCp4
Intimacy and human connection
@cubicgarden | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75URVGOfO40
Accelerated intimacy
@cubicgarden | https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html | http://www.36questionsinlove.com
Accelerated intimacy: Undressed
@cubicgarden | https://cubicgarden.com/2016/08/12/undressed-a-lesson-in-accelerated-intimacy | https://www.themoviedb.org/tv/67193-undressed/season/1
Accelerated intimacy
@cubicgarden | https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html | http://www.36questionsinlove.com
Turn to the person next to you and spend 4 mins asking a single
question then 1 mins looking into each others eyes
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
Gimmicks and marketing
They never shut up!
@cubicgarden | https://www.synthesio.com/blog/dating-apps-social-listening/ (April 2017)
Shiny, shiny, new, new and more gimmicks
@cubicgarden | https://qz.com/1075893/apple-event-everything-apple-unveiled-at-its-2017-iphone-x-event/
Invite only dating networks
datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=alexa-s-latest-skill--finding-you-an-eharmony-date | datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=plenty-of-fish-announces-integration-with-google-assistant
Invite only dating networks
@cubicgarden | https://blog.loveflutter.com/blue/
eHarmony skill and pof google assistant support
datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=alexa-s-latest-skill--finding-you-an-eharmony-date | datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=plenty-of-fish-announces-integration-with-google-assistant
Be a hater
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=hater-dating-app-just-scored-200k-from-mark-cuban-on-shark-tank
Blind dating
@cubicgarden | mashable.com/2017/08/30/taffy-dating-app-blurred-pictures | https://jezebel.com/5976098/okcupid-finally-comes-up-with-worst-idea-ever
Words of heart
@cubicgarden | https://wordsofheart.com/
Other senses
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=hater-dating-app-just-scored-200k-from-mark-cuban-on-shark-tank
Flirting with augmented reality
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=flirtar-aims-to-be-the-world-s-first-augmented-reality-dating-app
Super niche?
@cubicgarden | https://www.bristlr.com | www.clowndating.com/ | https://www.uniformdating.com
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=match-com-launches-facebook-s-first-chatbot--dating-coach
Dating coach bot
Why would you leave the social scene?
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=tinder-is-testing-real-time-feature-dubbed-feed--integrating-social-media
Once
@cubicgarden | https://getonce.com/
Once upon a Nosedive?
@cubicgarden | https://www.themoviedb.org/tv/42009-black-mirror/season/3/episode/1/images/backdrops
The future of consensual sex?
@cubicgarden | http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/consent-app-sexual-contracts-legalthings-phone-std-free-guarantee-a8154591.html
Demo of live contracts to digitize agreements
@cubicgarden | https://legalfling.io/#iq-home
Something is working?
Part of my bookshelf
@cubicgarden
Is there an algorithm for love?
@cubicgarden | https://cubicgarden.com/2016/04/25/the-bbc-horizon-dating-experiment/ | http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0791nhx
Algorithmic hokey pokey?
@cubicgarden | http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/12/opinion/sunday/online-dating-sites-dont-match-hype.html | https://www.flickr.com/photos/re-publica/13951164029
...past 80 years of
scientific research about
what makes people
romantically compatible
suggests that such sites
are unlikely to do what
they claim to do
Birthday paradox?
@cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/frozen-in-time/2263904827
Love is a numbers game?
@cubicgarden | Amy Webb - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wG_sAdP0U | Hannah Fry | Chris McKinlay - http://www.wired.co.uk/article/how-one-man-hacked-okcupid
Unsexy & brutally effective
@cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
Black mirror season 4 ep4: hang the dj
@cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
Brutally effective
@cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
In the future, apps like Tinder may be able to infer more about our
personalities and lifestyles through our social media activity than
an eHarmony questionnaire ever could capture. Researchers already
think they can predict how neurotic we are from our Foursquare
check-ins, whether or not we’re depressed from our Tweets and the
filters we choose on Instagram, and how intelligent, happy, and likely
to use drugs we are from our Facebook likes
Brutally effective
@cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
Algorithms could also use our online behavior to learn the real
answers to questions we might lie about in a dating questionnaire.
One of OkCupid’s matching questions, for example, asks “Do you
work out a lot?” But MeetMeOutside, a dating app for sporty people,
asks users to link their Fitbits and prove they’re physically active
through their step counts. This type of data is harder to fake.
Or, rather than ask someone whether they’re more likely to go out or
Netflix and chill on a Friday night, a dating app could simply collect this
data from our GPS or Foursquare activity and pair equally active
users.
Use the system or face the conquences
@cubicgarden | https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/782-gattaca/
Alternative could be scary
@cubicgarden | https://really.uktv.co.uk/shows/swipe-right-for-murder/ | http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3859618/mediaviewer/rm1406864896
Imagine life insurance rejections
@cubicgarden | http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/met-husband-plenty-fish-watching-14133044
Overruling choice
@cubicgarden | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_problem
Algorithm religion & bias
@cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
It’s also possible that computers, with access to more data and
processing power than any human, could pick up on patterns human
beings miss or can’t even recognize. “When you’re looking through the
feed of someone you’re considering, you only have access to their
behavior,”
“But an algorithm would have access to the differences between their
behavior and a million other people’s. There are instincts that you
have looking through someone’s feed that might be difficult to quantify,
and there may be other dimension we don’t see… nonlinear
combinations which aren’t easy to explain.”
Artificial intelligence matching
@cubicgarden | https://www.scientificamerican.com/products/love-in-the-age-of-machine-learning/
Brutally effective
@cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
Datasets or people?
@cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/xdxd_vs_xdxd/10086156273/ | https://www.flickr.com/photos/pietermorlion/3430892909
Could a combination be the key?
@cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/adelinapeltea/9026208637/
The future: what humans love
Think about all those single friends
@cubicgarden | The Lobster - https://www.theverge.com/2016/5/17/11686442/the-lobster-movie-review-colin-farrell-rachel-weisz
The fun of matchmaking?
@cubicgarden | https://ponderapp.co/ | mysinglefriend.com
Chronic matchmaking
@cubicgarden | https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/item.aspx?num=46356
Four studies exploring the psychology underlying people’s proclivity to
connect people to each other playing “matchmaker.”
- Associated with higher well-being
- Is more enjoyable and rewarding than matching people who would
not get along
- Most rewarding when matching people of different genders and
ethnic backgrounds
Money diminishes people’s motivation
@cubicgarden | https://ponderapp.co/faq/
- Can I really make money on Ponder?
Yes, each time you successfully matchmake a couple, where they both ‘like’ each other, you win $10. If they
eventually end up marrying you win $1000
- Is Ponder a dating app?
No, it’s a game for playing matchmaker. Everyone can play it, not just singles. However, singles also get to
find great dates – with friends and others in the community doing the matchmaking, not some schmucky
algorithm
- Do I have to pay to use Ponder?
Not if you’re just matchmaking and not dating. You start off with $20 of Ponder cash upon creating your
account, gaining $10 for every successful match (mutual like) you make for others, and trading in $10 for
every match that’s successfully made for you. So if you’re already in a relationship you’ll probably make
money. If you’re single, you can’t communicate with matches unless you have a positive Ponder cash
balance. You can buy 10 Ponder dollars for 10 real dollars or make it up by successfully matchmaking others
What is the future of online dating?
Federated dating
@cubicgarden | https://cubicgarden.com/2016/07/29/this-is-what-disruption-of-online-dating-looks-like/
Gradual disclosure?
Search?
Strandard data types?
Protected information?
How do people get in touch?
How do you stop harassment?
Proximity, interests, friends, family, etc
@cubicgarden | Modern Romance
People used to meet their partners through proximity, through family
and friends, but now Internet meeting is surpassing every other form.
“It’s changing so much about the way we act both romantically and
sexually,”
Distributed matchmaking with neutral incentives for all
@cubicgarden | https://thenextweb.com/contributors/2017/10/20/blockchain-economy-aligns-incentives-reduces-costs/
@cubicgarden
Ian Forrester
@cubicgarden
Cubicgarden.com
Thank you for listening, questions?

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Dating into the future for Manchester Futurists

  • 2. Adult conversations only @cubicgarden | http://diversity.wccnet.edu/lgbtqa/lgbtqa-info/ | https://jezebel.com/5674628/great-visual-maps-of-non-monogamous-relationships Think LGBTQA+ Think non-monogamous relationships No shaming or bashing Let’s talk sex safety Be respectful, don’t assume and keep things friendly
  • 3. TEDxMCR Valentines day 2015 @cubicgarden | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6MfCdo6RoQ | https://www.slideshare.net/cubicgarden/dating-against-humanity
  • 4. 38 year old divorcee, left-leaning, feminist & self confessed geek I’m @cubicgarden if interested @cubicgarden
  • 6. A bit of a ethical serial dater Compared to the typical number of dates people go on before committing to a relationship
  • 7. The wikipedia of online dating Northern Lass in The Guardian
  • 8. Dating for science @cubicgarden | https://cubicgarden.com/2007/12/16/how-to-have-more-sex-2/ | https://cubicgarden.com/2014/12/21/qs-metadating-in-newcastle/ | http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0791nhx
  • 9. Where is online dating now? @cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebehr/6922148295/ | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Romance:_An_Investigation
  • 10. Online dating in 2010s @cubicgarden | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Romance:_An_Investigation “I thought the big changes in romance were obvious—technological developments like smartphones, online dating, and social media sites. As I dug deeper, however, I realized that the transformation of our romantic lives cannot be explained by technology alone; there’s much more to the story. In a very short period of time, the whole culture of finding love and a mate has radically changed” - Aziz Ansari
  • 11. Online dating in 2010s @cubicgarden | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Romance:_An_Investigation “Today people spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate. The tools we use on this search are different, but what has really changed is our desires and “even more strikingly” the underlying goals of the search itself”
  • 12. Why you should care?
  • 13. The internet changed everything @cubicgarden | credit - https://www.flickr.com/photos/thomasswilliams/17080992987
  • 14. Collapsing geography & changing culture @cubicgarden | https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating People used to meet their partners through proximity, through family and friends, but now Internet meeting is surpassing every other form. “It’s changing so much about the way we act both romantically and sexually,” “A century ago people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after they decided neither party seemed like a murderer, the couple would get married and have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-two” - Aziz Ansari
  • 15. Short and bitter sweet @cubicgarden | https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/9489-you-ve-got-mail/images/backdrops | https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating As soon as people could go online they were using it as a way to find partners to date and have sex with. In the 90s it was Craigslist and AOL chat rooms, then Match.com and Kiss.com. But the lengthy, heartfelt e-mails exchanged by the main characters in You’ve Got Mail (1998) seem positively Victorian in comparison to the messages sent on the average dating app today. “I’ll get a text that says, ‘Wanna fuck?’ ” says Jennifer, 22, a senior at Indiana University Southeast, in New Albany. “They’ll tell you, ‘Come over and sit on my face,’ ” says her friend, Ashley, 19.
  • 16. Essential part of the human experience @cubicgarden | credit - http://www.flickr.com/
  • 17. Dominant way people meet @cubicgarden | https://www.technologyreview.com/s/609091/first-evidence-that-online-dating-is-changing-the-nature-of-society/
  • 18. Population relies on this all @cubicgarden | https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/aug/23/baby-crisis-europe-brink-depopulation-disaster | https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationand
  • 19. Future lies in the east? @cubicgarden | https://www.vogue.com/article/chrissy-teigen-5-things-you-didnt-know | http://vrkanojo.com | https://thenextweb.com/contributors/2017/11/25/ai-sex-dolls-just-around-corner/
  • 20. Too big for the private sector? @cubicgarden | www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03fh0bg | http://uk.businessinsider.com/japanese-government-dating-services-2016-10 “… local Japanese governments have set up speed-dating services where people can come to meet potential lifelong partners. The programs come in response to the country's population woes. Due primarily to younger generations losing interest in getting married and starting families, the population has actually shrunk by more than 1 million since 2010”
  • 22. The paradox of choice @cubicgarden
  • 23. Fetishisation of the profile photo @cubicgarden | https://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/lauren-urasek-most-popular-woman-on-okcupid
  • 24. Scams, catfish, blackmail, sextortion... @cubicgarden | www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/jul/07/hoaxer-who-breaks-womens-hearts | uk.businessinsider.com/how-to-spot-dating-site-scammers-on-okcupid-and-tinder-2015-7
  • 25. Cognitive burn-out @cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/francisco_osorio/11979751175
  • 26. Grass is greener syndrome @cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/iceninejon/5054548426
  • 28. @cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/staticpages/index.php?page=Match-com-Statistics-Facts-History Fundamental mismatch Matchgroup (IAC) own OkCupid, POF, Tinder, Howaboutwe, chemistry.com, etc… Valued at $5.8 Billion (2017) Revenue $1.2 Billion (2016) Net income $172.0 Million (2016)
  • 29. Fake & ghost profiles @cubicgarden | http://www.businessinsider.com/yuliana-avalos-lawsuit-against-match-2013-11 | http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b037wr14 | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lW_8D4o-GSI
  • 30. Membership loop @cubicgarden | https://www.themarysue.com/okcupid-pulls-why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating-match-com/
  • 31. Revenue from attention & personal data @cubicgarden
  • 32. How much money per minute @cubicgarden | https://appdevelopermagazine.com/5734/2017/12/6/this-is-how-much-dating-apps-make-every-minute/ | http://www.decluttr.com/money-dating-apps-make-per-minute
  • 33. Paired-off daters = lost revenue @cubicgarden
  • 34. Lack of duty & care for its users @cubicgarden http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/met-husband-plenty-fish-watching-14133044
  • 35. Tinder is like crack? @cubicgarden | http://theconversation.com/why-tinder-is-so-evilly-satisfying-72177 | http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/1120207/new-tinder-social-app In a study on the brains of drug addicts, researchers found that the expectation of the drug caused more release of the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine than the actual drug itself. Similarly, for those who may be expecting the next swipe on Tinder to lead to reward, serial swiping can start to look and feel a lot like addiction. In 2015 Tinder began to limit the amount of daily right swipes to around 100 for users who don’t buy into their premium service. There have already been reports of Tinder withdrawal for those who have tried to break up with their Tinder account.
  • 38. Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse” @cubicgarden | https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating As the polar ice caps melt and the earth churns through the Sixth Extinction, another unprecedented phenomenon is taking place, in the realm of sex. Hookup culture, which has been percolating for about a hundred years, has collided with dating apps, which have acted like a wayward meteor on the now dinosaur-like rituals of courtship. “We are in uncharted territory” when it comes to Tinder et al.
  • 39. Half of British Singles don’t do IRL @cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=half-of-british-singles-have-never-asked-someone-out-irl
  • 40. 46% had never broken up with someone in person @cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=half-of-british-singles-have-never-asked-someone-out-irl
  • 41. Majority would rather check Tinder @cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=half-of-british-singles-have-never-asked-someone-out-irl
  • 42. It’s all fake accounts anyway @cubicgarden | https://www.time.com/4362915/tinder-app-minors-teenagers/ Some dating sites allow under-18s to join. Tinder was one of them until recently (2016) it had 7% of its users aged between 13 and 17 (outnumbering 35 to 44-year-olds!). Tinder is officially 18+ now, but age limits aren't foolproof
  • 43. One of many tinder games @cubicgarden | https://www.triunetherapy.com/single-post/2017/09/29/The-Tinder-Game 1. Find the “hottest” person in the bar take a picture of them 2. Create a fake Facebook account, which is needed to create a Tinder account 3. Back on Tinder swipe right on only the most “unattractive” people 4. Flirt with them, posing as the attractive person in the bar, and invite them to the bar for a drink 5. Watch as they arrive looking for the hot person and the confusion which follows
  • 44. The fear of rejection
  • 45. Alexandr Milov’s Love @cubicgarden | https://www.thelifeisamazing.com/one-of-the-most-powerful-art-pieces-at-burning-man-this-year/
  • 46. We have conflated intimacy with sex @cubicgarden | https://tribecatherapy.com/4780/sex-intimacy-couples-therapy/
  • 47. 6 types of love @cubicgarden | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/11/the-6-types-of-love_n_174016.html 1. Eros, or sexual passion 2. Philia, or deep friendship 3. Ludus, or playful love 4. Agape, or love for everyone 5. Pragma, or longstanding love 6. Philautia, or love of the self
  • 48. What’s intimacy to you? @cubicgarden | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS0Tg0IjCp4
  • 49. Intimacy and human connection @cubicgarden | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75URVGOfO40
  • 50. Accelerated intimacy @cubicgarden | https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html | http://www.36questionsinlove.com
  • 51. Accelerated intimacy: Undressed @cubicgarden | https://cubicgarden.com/2016/08/12/undressed-a-lesson-in-accelerated-intimacy | https://www.themoviedb.org/tv/67193-undressed/season/1
  • 52. Accelerated intimacy @cubicgarden | https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html | http://www.36questionsinlove.com Turn to the person next to you and spend 4 mins asking a single question then 1 mins looking into each others eyes 7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? 9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful? 16. What do you value most in a friendship? 18. What is your most terrible memory? 21. What roles do love and affection play in your life? 30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? 32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
  • 54. They never shut up! @cubicgarden | https://www.synthesio.com/blog/dating-apps-social-listening/ (April 2017)
  • 55. Shiny, shiny, new, new and more gimmicks @cubicgarden | https://qz.com/1075893/apple-event-everything-apple-unveiled-at-its-2017-iphone-x-event/
  • 56. Invite only dating networks datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=alexa-s-latest-skill--finding-you-an-eharmony-date | datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=plenty-of-fish-announces-integration-with-google-assistant
  • 57. Invite only dating networks @cubicgarden | https://blog.loveflutter.com/blue/
  • 58. eHarmony skill and pof google assistant support datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=alexa-s-latest-skill--finding-you-an-eharmony-date | datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=plenty-of-fish-announces-integration-with-google-assistant
  • 59. Be a hater @cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=hater-dating-app-just-scored-200k-from-mark-cuban-on-shark-tank
  • 60. Blind dating @cubicgarden | mashable.com/2017/08/30/taffy-dating-app-blurred-pictures | https://jezebel.com/5976098/okcupid-finally-comes-up-with-worst-idea-ever
  • 61. Words of heart @cubicgarden | https://wordsofheart.com/
  • 62. Other senses @cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=hater-dating-app-just-scored-200k-from-mark-cuban-on-shark-tank
  • 63. Flirting with augmented reality @cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=flirtar-aims-to-be-the-world-s-first-augmented-reality-dating-app
  • 64. Super niche? @cubicgarden | https://www.bristlr.com | www.clowndating.com/ | https://www.uniformdating.com
  • 66. Why would you leave the social scene? @cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=tinder-is-testing-real-time-feature-dubbed-feed--integrating-social-media
  • 68. Once upon a Nosedive? @cubicgarden | https://www.themoviedb.org/tv/42009-black-mirror/season/3/episode/1/images/backdrops
  • 69. The future of consensual sex? @cubicgarden | http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/consent-app-sexual-contracts-legalthings-phone-std-free-guarantee-a8154591.html
  • 70. Demo of live contracts to digitize agreements @cubicgarden | https://legalfling.io/#iq-home
  • 72. Part of my bookshelf @cubicgarden
  • 73. Is there an algorithm for love? @cubicgarden | https://cubicgarden.com/2016/04/25/the-bbc-horizon-dating-experiment/ | http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0791nhx
  • 74. Algorithmic hokey pokey? @cubicgarden | http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/12/opinion/sunday/online-dating-sites-dont-match-hype.html | https://www.flickr.com/photos/re-publica/13951164029 ...past 80 years of scientific research about what makes people romantically compatible suggests that such sites are unlikely to do what they claim to do
  • 75. Birthday paradox? @cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/frozen-in-time/2263904827
  • 76. Love is a numbers game? @cubicgarden | Amy Webb - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wG_sAdP0U | Hannah Fry | Chris McKinlay - http://www.wired.co.uk/article/how-one-man-hacked-okcupid
  • 77. Unsexy & brutally effective @cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
  • 78. Black mirror season 4 ep4: hang the dj @cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
  • 79. Brutally effective @cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116 In the future, apps like Tinder may be able to infer more about our personalities and lifestyles through our social media activity than an eHarmony questionnaire ever could capture. Researchers already think they can predict how neurotic we are from our Foursquare check-ins, whether or not we’re depressed from our Tweets and the filters we choose on Instagram, and how intelligent, happy, and likely to use drugs we are from our Facebook likes
  • 80. Brutally effective @cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116 Algorithms could also use our online behavior to learn the real answers to questions we might lie about in a dating questionnaire. One of OkCupid’s matching questions, for example, asks “Do you work out a lot?” But MeetMeOutside, a dating app for sporty people, asks users to link their Fitbits and prove they’re physically active through their step counts. This type of data is harder to fake. Or, rather than ask someone whether they’re more likely to go out or Netflix and chill on a Friday night, a dating app could simply collect this data from our GPS or Foursquare activity and pair equally active users.
  • 81. Use the system or face the conquences @cubicgarden | https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/782-gattaca/
  • 82. Alternative could be scary @cubicgarden | https://really.uktv.co.uk/shows/swipe-right-for-murder/ | http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3859618/mediaviewer/rm1406864896
  • 83. Imagine life insurance rejections @cubicgarden | http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/met-husband-plenty-fish-watching-14133044
  • 84. Overruling choice @cubicgarden | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_problem
  • 85. Algorithm religion & bias @cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116 It’s also possible that computers, with access to more data and processing power than any human, could pick up on patterns human beings miss or can’t even recognize. “When you’re looking through the feed of someone you’re considering, you only have access to their behavior,” “But an algorithm would have access to the differences between their behavior and a million other people’s. There are instincts that you have looking through someone’s feed that might be difficult to quantify, and there may be other dimension we don’t see… nonlinear combinations which aren’t easy to explain.”
  • 86. Artificial intelligence matching @cubicgarden | https://www.scientificamerican.com/products/love-in-the-age-of-machine-learning/
  • 87. Brutally effective @cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
  • 88. Datasets or people? @cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/xdxd_vs_xdxd/10086156273/ | https://www.flickr.com/photos/pietermorlion/3430892909
  • 89. Could a combination be the key? @cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/adelinapeltea/9026208637/
  • 90. The future: what humans love
  • 91. Think about all those single friends @cubicgarden | The Lobster - https://www.theverge.com/2016/5/17/11686442/the-lobster-movie-review-colin-farrell-rachel-weisz
  • 92. The fun of matchmaking? @cubicgarden | https://ponderapp.co/ | mysinglefriend.com
  • 93. Chronic matchmaking @cubicgarden | https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/item.aspx?num=46356 Four studies exploring the psychology underlying people’s proclivity to connect people to each other playing “matchmaker.” - Associated with higher well-being - Is more enjoyable and rewarding than matching people who would not get along - Most rewarding when matching people of different genders and ethnic backgrounds
  • 94. Money diminishes people’s motivation @cubicgarden | https://ponderapp.co/faq/ - Can I really make money on Ponder? Yes, each time you successfully matchmake a couple, where they both ‘like’ each other, you win $10. If they eventually end up marrying you win $1000 - Is Ponder a dating app? No, it’s a game for playing matchmaker. Everyone can play it, not just singles. However, singles also get to find great dates – with friends and others in the community doing the matchmaking, not some schmucky algorithm - Do I have to pay to use Ponder? Not if you’re just matchmaking and not dating. You start off with $20 of Ponder cash upon creating your account, gaining $10 for every successful match (mutual like) you make for others, and trading in $10 for every match that’s successfully made for you. So if you’re already in a relationship you’ll probably make money. If you’re single, you can’t communicate with matches unless you have a positive Ponder cash balance. You can buy 10 Ponder dollars for 10 real dollars or make it up by successfully matchmaking others
  • 95. What is the future of online dating?
  • 96. Federated dating @cubicgarden | https://cubicgarden.com/2016/07/29/this-is-what-disruption-of-online-dating-looks-like/ Gradual disclosure? Search? Strandard data types? Protected information? How do people get in touch? How do you stop harassment?
  • 97. Proximity, interests, friends, family, etc @cubicgarden | Modern Romance People used to meet their partners through proximity, through family and friends, but now Internet meeting is surpassing every other form. “It’s changing so much about the way we act both romantically and sexually,”
  • 98. Distributed matchmaking with neutral incentives for all @cubicgarden | https://thenextweb.com/contributors/2017/10/20/blockchain-economy-aligns-incentives-reduces-costs/