Manchester Futurists - https://www.meetup.com/Manchester-Futurists/events/246711589/
Why
dating, matching and love is important for the future of humanity;
some of the issues when you mix corporate and capital interests in the
matter; and the effects future dating could have on culture and
society.
2. Adult conversations only
@cubicgarden | http://diversity.wccnet.edu/lgbtqa/lgbtqa-info/ | https://jezebel.com/5674628/great-visual-maps-of-non-monogamous-relationships
Think LGBTQA+
Think non-monogamous relationships
No shaming or bashing
Let’s talk sex safety
Be respectful, don’t assume and keep things friendly
3. TEDxMCR Valentines day 2015
@cubicgarden | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6MfCdo6RoQ | https://www.slideshare.net/cubicgarden/dating-against-humanity
8. Dating for science
@cubicgarden | https://cubicgarden.com/2007/12/16/how-to-have-more-sex-2/ | https://cubicgarden.com/2014/12/21/qs-metadating-in-newcastle/ | http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0791nhx
9. Where is online dating now?
@cubicgarden | https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebehr/6922148295/ | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Romance:_An_Investigation
10. Online dating in 2010s
@cubicgarden | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Romance:_An_Investigation
“I thought the big changes in romance were obvious—technological
developments like smartphones, online dating, and social media sites.
As I dug deeper, however, I realized that the transformation of our
romantic lives cannot be explained by technology alone; there’s much
more to the story. In a very short period of time, the whole culture of
finding love and a mate has radically changed”
- Aziz Ansari
11. Online dating in 2010s
@cubicgarden | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Romance:_An_Investigation
“Today people spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect
person, a soul mate. The tools we use on this search are different, but
what has really changed is our desires and “even more strikingly” the
underlying goals of the search itself”
13. The internet changed everything
@cubicgarden | credit - https://www.flickr.com/photos/thomasswilliams/17080992987
14. Collapsing geography & changing culture
@cubicgarden | https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating
People used to meet their partners through proximity, through family
and friends, but now Internet meeting is surpassing every other form.
“It’s changing so much about the way we act both romantically and
sexually,”
“A century ago people would find a decent person who lived in their
neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after they decided
neither party seemed like a murderer, the couple would get married
and have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-two”
- Aziz Ansari
15. Short and bitter sweet
@cubicgarden | https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/9489-you-ve-got-mail/images/backdrops | https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating
As soon as people could go online they were using it as a way to find
partners to date and have sex with. In the 90s it was Craigslist and
AOL chat rooms, then Match.com and Kiss.com.
But the lengthy, heartfelt e-mails exchanged by the main characters in
You’ve Got Mail (1998) seem positively Victorian in comparison to the
messages sent on the average dating app today.
“I’ll get a text that says, ‘Wanna fuck?’ ” says Jennifer, 22, a senior at
Indiana University Southeast, in New Albany. “They’ll tell you, ‘Come
over and sit on my face,’ ” says her friend, Ashley, 19.
16. Essential part of the human experience
@cubicgarden | credit - http://www.flickr.com/
17. Dominant way people meet
@cubicgarden | https://www.technologyreview.com/s/609091/first-evidence-that-online-dating-is-changing-the-nature-of-society/
18. Population relies on this all
@cubicgarden | https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/aug/23/baby-crisis-europe-brink-depopulation-disaster | https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationand
19. Future lies in the east?
@cubicgarden | https://www.vogue.com/article/chrissy-teigen-5-things-you-didnt-know | http://vrkanojo.com | https://thenextweb.com/contributors/2017/11/25/ai-sex-dolls-just-around-corner/
20. Too big for the private sector?
@cubicgarden | www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03fh0bg | http://uk.businessinsider.com/japanese-government-dating-services-2016-10
“… local Japanese governments have set up speed-dating services
where people can come to meet potential lifelong partners.
The programs come in response to the country's population woes.
Due primarily to younger generations losing interest in getting married
and starting families, the population has actually shrunk by more than
1 million since 2010”
32. How much money per minute
@cubicgarden | https://appdevelopermagazine.com/5734/2017/12/6/this-is-how-much-dating-apps-make-every-minute/ | http://www.decluttr.com/money-dating-apps-make-per-minute
34. Lack of duty & care for its users
@cubicgarden http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/met-husband-plenty-fish-watching-14133044
35. Tinder is like crack?
@cubicgarden | http://theconversation.com/why-tinder-is-so-evilly-satisfying-72177 | http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/1120207/new-tinder-social-app
In a study on the brains of drug addicts, researchers found that the
expectation of the drug caused more release of the feel-good
neurotransmitter dopamine than the actual drug itself. Similarly, for
those who may be expecting the next swipe on Tinder to lead to
reward, serial swiping can start to look and feel a lot like
addiction.
In 2015 Tinder began to limit the amount of daily right swipes to
around 100 for users who don’t buy into their premium service.
There have already been reports of Tinder withdrawal for those who
have tried to break up with their Tinder account.
38. Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”
@cubicgarden | https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating
As the polar ice caps melt and the earth churns through the Sixth
Extinction, another unprecedented phenomenon is taking place, in the
realm of sex. Hookup culture, which has been percolating for about a
hundred years, has collided with dating apps, which have acted like a
wayward meteor on the now dinosaur-like rituals of courtship. “We are
in uncharted territory” when it comes to Tinder et al.
39. Half of British Singles don’t do IRL
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=half-of-british-singles-have-never-asked-someone-out-irl
40. 46% had never broken up with someone in person
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=half-of-british-singles-have-never-asked-someone-out-irl
41. Majority would rather check Tinder
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=half-of-british-singles-have-never-asked-someone-out-irl
42. It’s all fake accounts anyway
@cubicgarden | https://www.time.com/4362915/tinder-app-minors-teenagers/
Some dating sites allow under-18s to join. Tinder was one of them
until recently (2016) it had 7% of its users aged between 13 and 17
(outnumbering 35 to 44-year-olds!). Tinder is officially 18+ now, but
age limits aren't foolproof
43. One of many tinder games
@cubicgarden | https://www.triunetherapy.com/single-post/2017/09/29/The-Tinder-Game
1. Find the “hottest” person in the bar take a picture of them
2. Create a fake Facebook account, which is needed to create a
Tinder account
3. Back on Tinder swipe right on only the most “unattractive” people
4. Flirt with them, posing as the attractive person in the bar, and
invite them to the bar for a drink
5. Watch as they arrive looking for the hot person and the confusion
which follows
46. We have conflated intimacy with sex
@cubicgarden | https://tribecatherapy.com/4780/sex-intimacy-couples-therapy/
47. 6 types of love
@cubicgarden | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/11/the-6-types-of-love_n_174016.html
1. Eros, or sexual passion
2. Philia, or deep friendship
3. Ludus, or playful love
4. Agape, or love for everyone
5. Pragma, or longstanding love
6. Philautia, or love of the self
48. What’s intimacy to you?
@cubicgarden | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS0Tg0IjCp4
49. Intimacy and human connection
@cubicgarden | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75URVGOfO40
52. Accelerated intimacy
@cubicgarden | https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html | http://www.36questionsinlove.com
Turn to the person next to you and spend 4 mins asking a single
question then 1 mins looking into each others eyes
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
54. They never shut up!
@cubicgarden | https://www.synthesio.com/blog/dating-apps-social-listening/ (April 2017)
55. Shiny, shiny, new, new and more gimmicks
@cubicgarden | https://qz.com/1075893/apple-event-everything-apple-unveiled-at-its-2017-iphone-x-event/
56. Invite only dating networks
datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=alexa-s-latest-skill--finding-you-an-eharmony-date | datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=plenty-of-fish-announces-integration-with-google-assistant
57. Invite only dating networks
@cubicgarden | https://blog.loveflutter.com/blue/
58. eHarmony skill and pof google assistant support
datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=alexa-s-latest-skill--finding-you-an-eharmony-date | datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=plenty-of-fish-announces-integration-with-google-assistant
59. Be a hater
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=hater-dating-app-just-scored-200k-from-mark-cuban-on-shark-tank
60. Blind dating
@cubicgarden | mashable.com/2017/08/30/taffy-dating-app-blurred-pictures | https://jezebel.com/5976098/okcupid-finally-comes-up-with-worst-idea-ever
66. Why would you leave the social scene?
@cubicgarden | https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/article.php?story=tinder-is-testing-real-time-feature-dubbed-feed--integrating-social-media
68. Once upon a Nosedive?
@cubicgarden | https://www.themoviedb.org/tv/42009-black-mirror/season/3/episode/1/images/backdrops
69. The future of consensual sex?
@cubicgarden | http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/consent-app-sexual-contracts-legalthings-phone-std-free-guarantee-a8154591.html
70. Demo of live contracts to digitize agreements
@cubicgarden | https://legalfling.io/#iq-home
73. Is there an algorithm for love?
@cubicgarden | https://cubicgarden.com/2016/04/25/the-bbc-horizon-dating-experiment/ | http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0791nhx
74. Algorithmic hokey pokey?
@cubicgarden | http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/12/opinion/sunday/online-dating-sites-dont-match-hype.html | https://www.flickr.com/photos/re-publica/13951164029
...past 80 years of
scientific research about
what makes people
romantically compatible
suggests that such sites
are unlikely to do what
they claim to do
76. Love is a numbers game?
@cubicgarden | Amy Webb - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wG_sAdP0U | Hannah Fry | Chris McKinlay - http://www.wired.co.uk/article/how-one-man-hacked-okcupid
78. Black mirror season 4 ep4: hang the dj
@cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
79. Brutally effective
@cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
In the future, apps like Tinder may be able to infer more about our
personalities and lifestyles through our social media activity than
an eHarmony questionnaire ever could capture. Researchers already
think they can predict how neurotic we are from our Foursquare
check-ins, whether or not we’re depressed from our Tweets and the
filters we choose on Instagram, and how intelligent, happy, and likely
to use drugs we are from our Facebook likes
80. Brutally effective
@cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
Algorithms could also use our online behavior to learn the real
answers to questions we might lie about in a dating questionnaire.
One of OkCupid’s matching questions, for example, asks “Do you
work out a lot?” But MeetMeOutside, a dating app for sporty people,
asks users to link their Fitbits and prove they’re physically active
through their step counts. This type of data is harder to fake.
Or, rather than ask someone whether they’re more likely to go out or
Netflix and chill on a Friday night, a dating app could simply collect this
data from our GPS or Foursquare activity and pair equally active
users.
81. Use the system or face the conquences
@cubicgarden | https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/782-gattaca/
82. Alternative could be scary
@cubicgarden | https://really.uktv.co.uk/shows/swipe-right-for-murder/ | http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3859618/mediaviewer/rm1406864896
83. Imagine life insurance rejections
@cubicgarden | http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/met-husband-plenty-fish-watching-14133044
85. Algorithm religion & bias
@cubicgarden | https://gizmodo.com/the-future-of-online-dating-is-unsexy-and-brutally-effe-1819781116
It’s also possible that computers, with access to more data and
processing power than any human, could pick up on patterns human
beings miss or can’t even recognize. “When you’re looking through the
feed of someone you’re considering, you only have access to their
behavior,”
“But an algorithm would have access to the differences between their
behavior and a million other people’s. There are instincts that you
have looking through someone’s feed that might be difficult to quantify,
and there may be other dimension we don’t see… nonlinear
combinations which aren’t easy to explain.”
91. Think about all those single friends
@cubicgarden | The Lobster - https://www.theverge.com/2016/5/17/11686442/the-lobster-movie-review-colin-farrell-rachel-weisz
92. The fun of matchmaking?
@cubicgarden | https://ponderapp.co/ | mysinglefriend.com
93. Chronic matchmaking
@cubicgarden | https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/item.aspx?num=46356
Four studies exploring the psychology underlying people’s proclivity to
connect people to each other playing “matchmaker.”
- Associated with higher well-being
- Is more enjoyable and rewarding than matching people who would
not get along
- Most rewarding when matching people of different genders and
ethnic backgrounds
94. Money diminishes people’s motivation
@cubicgarden | https://ponderapp.co/faq/
- Can I really make money on Ponder?
Yes, each time you successfully matchmake a couple, where they both ‘like’ each other, you win $10. If they
eventually end up marrying you win $1000
- Is Ponder a dating app?
No, it’s a game for playing matchmaker. Everyone can play it, not just singles. However, singles also get to
find great dates – with friends and others in the community doing the matchmaking, not some schmucky
algorithm
- Do I have to pay to use Ponder?
Not if you’re just matchmaking and not dating. You start off with $20 of Ponder cash upon creating your
account, gaining $10 for every successful match (mutual like) you make for others, and trading in $10 for
every match that’s successfully made for you. So if you’re already in a relationship you’ll probably make
money. If you’re single, you can’t communicate with matches unless you have a positive Ponder cash
balance. You can buy 10 Ponder dollars for 10 real dollars or make it up by successfully matchmaking others
96. Federated dating
@cubicgarden | https://cubicgarden.com/2016/07/29/this-is-what-disruption-of-online-dating-looks-like/
Gradual disclosure?
Search?
Strandard data types?
Protected information?
How do people get in touch?
How do you stop harassment?
97. Proximity, interests, friends, family, etc
@cubicgarden | Modern Romance
People used to meet their partners through proximity, through family
and friends, but now Internet meeting is surpassing every other form.
“It’s changing so much about the way we act both romantically and
sexually,”
98. Distributed matchmaking with neutral incentives for all
@cubicgarden | https://thenextweb.com/contributors/2017/10/20/blockchain-economy-aligns-incentives-reduces-costs/