This document discusses guidelines in Islam for raising children and family upbringing. It references several Quranic verses from Surah Tahrim, Surah Munafiqoon, and Surah Taghabun that provide guidance on this topic. The verses emphasize treating children fairly and with compassion, and seeking God's protection from the fires of Hell for oneself and one's family.
1. RAISING CHILDREN & FAMILY UPBRINGING IN ISLAM
2018-02-17
Qala tabaraka wa tala fee sooratul Tahreem
اً۬ارَن ۡمُّكيِلَۡهأَو ۡمُّكَسُّفَنأْآٰوُّقْاوُّنَامَء َينِذَٱلاَہَُّيأٰٓـَيٌ۬ظ ََلِغ ٌةَكِٮٰٓـَلَماَہۡيَلَعُّةَارَج ِۡحلٱَو ُّاسَٱلناَهُّودُّقَو
(َنوُّرَمۡؤُّياَمَنوُّلَعۡفَيَوۡمُّهَرََمأٓاَمَ َٱّللَنوُّصۡعَي َّلٌ۬داَدِش٦ََمۡوَۡيلٱْاوُّرِذَتۡعَت َّلْاوُّرَفَك َينِذَٱلاَہَُّيأٰٓـَ)يََاََمنِإ
َُّلَمۡعَت ۡمُّنتُّك اَم َنۡوَزۡجُّت( َنو٧)ََنأ ۡمُّكُّبَر ىَسَع اًوحَُّصنً۬ةَبۡوَت َِٱّلل َىلِإ ْآٰوُّوبُّت ْاوُّنَامَء َينِذَٱل اَہَُّيأٰٓـَي
ٱلُّ َٱّلل ىِز ۡخُّي َّلَمۡوَي ُّرـَهۡنَ ۡٱۡل اَهِتۡحَت نِم ىِرۡجَت ٍ۬تـَنَج ۡمُّڪَلِخۡدُّيَو ۡمُّكِاتَـِيَس ۡمُّكنَع َرِفَكُّيَىِبَن
َينِذَٱلَوَُّهَعَمْاوُّنَامَءَۥَٓاََنل ۡرِفۡغٱَواَنَورُّناََنل ۡمِمۡتَأٓاَنَبَر َنوُّلوُّقَي ۡمِہِنـَمَۡيأِبَو ۡمِہيِدَۡيأ َنۡيَبىَعۡسَي ۡمُّهُّورُّنَ
( ٌ۬يرِدَق ٍ۬ء
ۡ
ىَش ِلُّڪ ىَلَع ََكنِإ٨)ََۡغٱَو َينِقِفـَنُّۡملٱَو َارَفُّڪۡلٱ ِدِهـَج ُّىِبَٱلن اَہَُّيأٰٓـَيَۡمِہۡيَلَع ۡظُّلَۚ
َُّمَنَهَج ۡمُّهٮَۡوأَمَوَ( ُّيرِصَۡملٱ َسۡئِبَو٩)
Rabbish rahli sadri
Allahumma ajirna wa ahlina minan naar
Ameen ya rabbal alameen
ُّاسَٱلناَهُّودُّقَواً۬ارَن ۡمُّكيِلَۡهأَو ۡمُّكَسُّفَنأْآٰوُّقْاوُّنَامَء َينِذَٱلاَہَُّيأٰٓـَيٌ۬ظ ََلِغٌةَكِٮٰٓـَلَماَہۡيَلَعُّةَارَج ِۡحلٱَو
( َنوُّرَمۡؤُّياَم َنوُّلَعۡفَيَو ۡمُّهَرََمأٓاَمَ َٱّلل َنوُّصۡعَي َّلٌ۬داَدِش٦)
Very important guidance has given in this ayah in regard to raising children
and family upbringing in Islam.
Madini group of surah 66 Tahrim, 63 Munafiqoon & 64 Taghabun the same
topic was raised.
Surah Taghabun ayah 14
2. 2
اَہَُّيأٰٓـَيََينِذَٱلَْآٰوُّنَامَءََنِإَۡنِمَۡمُّك ِجٲَوۡزَأَۡمُّڪِدَـلَۡوأَواً۬وُّدَعَۡمُّڪَلَۡمُّوهُّرَذۡٱحَفَۚنِإَوَْاوُّفۡعَتَْاوُّحَف ۡصَتَو
َْاوُّرِفۡغَتَوََنِإَفََ َٱّللٌَ۬ورُّفَغٌَيمِحَر(١٤)
In your children and your wives there are some enemies so be ware of
them.
What is the warning in that. That their love might not become destruction
of your aakhirah. If that happened, then this love will be your
enemy. That out of love you start breaking Allah’s
commandments.
It is enmity in terms of end result.
ٓاََمنِإَۡمُّكُّلٲَوَۡمأَۡمُّكُّدَـلَۡوأَوٌَ۬ةَنۡتِفََُّۚ َٱّللَوَُّهَدنِعَۥٌَرَۡجأٌَ۬يمِظَع(١٥)َْاوُّقَٱتَفََ َٱّللاَمَۡمُّتَۡعطَتۡٱسَْاوُّعَمۡٱسَو
َْاوُّيعَِطأَوَْاوُّقَِنفأَواً۬رۡيَخَۡمُّڪ ِسُّفنَ ِۡلَۗنَمَوََوقُّيََحُّشۦِه ِسۡفَنََكِٮَٰٓـلْوُّأَفَُّمُّهَۡفُّۡملٱََنوُّحِل(١٦)
Indeed your wealth and your children are a test for you.
Before that there was another warning
Surah Munafiqoon
اَہَُّيأٰٓـَيََينِذَٱلَْاوُّنَامَءََّلَۡمُّكِهۡلُّتَۡمُّكُّلٲَوَۡمأَََلَوَۡمُّڪُّدَـلَۡوأنَعَِرۡڪِذََِٱّللَۚنَمَوَۡلَعۡفَيََكِلٲَذََكِٮَٰٓـلْوُّأَف
َُّمُّهََنوُّر ِسـ َۡخلٱ(٩)
O you who have come to believe, may not your wealth and your children
make you forget Allah.
The main theme of this surah is Nifaaq and we know what is context this
ayah. We think munafiq is the one who has entered Islam as imposters for
hypocrisy. Those were few examples.
Hadith - Majority of those who are suffering from Nifaaq are reciters of
Quran.
4. 4
اَہَُّيأٰٓـَيََينِذَٱلَْاوُّنَامَءََّلَۡمُّكِهۡلُّتَۡمُّكُّلٲَوَۡمأَََلَوَۡمُّڪُّدَـلَۡوأنَعَِرۡڪِذََِٱّللَۚنَمَوَۡلَعۡفَيََكِلٲَذََكِٮَٰٓـلْوُّأَف
َُّمُّهََنوُّر ِسـ َۡخلٱ(٩)
So Allah says that might not the love of wealth and your children make you
headless of your purpose that why Allah chose you as a Muslim.
NOW in surah Tahrim
ََلَماَہۡيَلَعُّةَارَج ِۡحلٱَو ُّاسَٱلناَهُّودُّقَواً۬ارَن ۡمُّكيِلَۡهأَو ۡمُّكَسُّفَنأْآٰوُّقْاوُّنَامَء َينِذَٱلاَہَُّيأٰٓـَيٌ۬ظ ََلِغٌةَكِٮٰٓـ
َُّياَم َنوُّلَعۡفَيَو ۡمُّهَرََمأٓاَمَ َٱّلل َنوُّصۡعَي َّلٌ۬داَدِش( َنوُّرَمۡؤ٦)
Allah have given great love in hearts of parents for their children. This love
is practical manifestation of raboobiyyah of Allah.
Al-Imran 3:14
ََنِيُّزَِاسَلنِلَُّبُّحَِاتَوَهَالشََنِماء َسِالنََينِنَبْلاَو
Rab is Allah but practical manifestation of his love he has put in hearts
of parents. This is such a strong principle to make the system of life
and death work that
So is the matter of Rizq. Actually, who is raziq, Allah, but he has made
parents as the working hand. What is the projection of this love that
parents wants the best for their children, their future, their present,
their provisions to be the best. Even in Animals, they will stay hungry
to feed their children.
This love of children only they can understand who are parents themselves
and cannot be explained academically.
This Love for children is so strong that we are ready to do anything for them.
When this love becomes shackles for us when it comes to Deen then
this becomes an issue.
This is the idea in this surah that you want all the goodness for your children
that they get no pain in this world, that become the most successful
5. 5
people in this world and all the joy and happiness becomes their
destiny if you feel that much for your children then think about
Aakhirah, what is the point of success in this world if Aakhirah
becomes hell for them.
اً۬ارَن ۡمُّكيِلَۡهأَو ۡمُّكَسُّفَنأْآٰوُّق
Think of the fire of Aakhirah, imagine for a moment, and remember
what Quran is telling us to wake us up.
ََّلَََكنَرُّغَيَُّبُّلَقَتََينِذَٱلَْاوُّرَفَكىِفَِدـَلِبۡلٱ(١٩٦)ٌَ۬عـَتَمٌَ۬يلِلَقََمُّثَۡمُّهٮَۡوأَمَُّمَنَهَجَََۚسۡئِبَوَُّادَهِۡملٱ
(١٩٧)Al-E-Imran
There is no ration proportion of the life of this Dunya and life of
hereafter. One side is hayatud Dunya illa qaleel and on the other
hand khalideena feeha abada.
Is the blunder of highest order that in order to get limited short benefits
of this Dunya we let go aakhrah from our hands.
Allah shows us the picture in Quran that when we reach there it will
be asked;
Al-Mu'minun (The Believers) 23:112
ََالَقَْمَكَْمُّتْثِبَليِفَِضْرَ ْاۡلََدَدَعََينِنِس(١١٢)َْاوُّلاَقاَنۡثِبَلاًمۡوَيََۡوأََضۡعَبٍَ۬مۡوَيَِلَـ ۡسَفََينِٓادَۡعلٱ(١١٣)
[Allah ] will say, "How long did you remain on earth in number of
years?"
If the future of your and your family is dear to then this is the future the
life of hereafter.
POINT NO.1 The very foundational point that we need to nail down in our
mindset and the mindset of our children is that this world is not the
real life and is very short and the real life is the life of Aakhirah. The life
of this Dunya is a test and the life of hereafter is the real success.
Al-Imran 3:185
َُّلُّكٍَسْفَنَُّةَقِآئَذَِتْوَمْلااََمنِإَوََنْوَفَوُّتَْمُّكَورُّجُّأََمْوَيَِةَامَيِقْلا
6. 6
نَمَفََحِزْحُّزَِنَعَِراَالنََلِخْدُّأَوََةَنَجْلاَْدَقَفََزاَفماَوَُّةاَيَحْلااَيْنُّالدََّلِإَُّاعَتَمَِروُّرُّغْلا
Whereas the whole media, the modern education system and the modern
environment is teaching us otherwise, that this world is real world,
aakhrah is just a deception.
World is not vacant of good people, but overall the direction of Ummah is
the success of this Dunya .
الخالخاسومقںیمابکپرظپےآتںیہوہ
ےکرتںیہکشاحرسیاہگسےوجملاظو
ُ
وضَ
And the real life if the life of Aakhirah, And for that life the best guidance is
QURAN.
▪ DAY TO DAY REALITIES
▪ COMPLEX REALITIES
▪ ULTIMATE REALITIES
Quran teaches us what reality is; and we all know what is our
relationship with it.
POINT NO.2 restore the relation with Quran ourselves and then our children.
Read it and understand it, let Quran do its job.
Let Quran develop the mindset, let quran become lens of our eyes,
let quran lay the foundation of our world view. And it is not done
without getting connected to Quran. Tazkeer, tafakkur, tadabbur (to
ponder over Quran). Afala yatadabbaroonal Quran.
POINT No.3 Iman-billah who is the doer of all the things in real sense, who
the cause of things in real sense, who is behind creation of everything,
who is the creator life, death, who is the giver of knowledge, skill,
ability and Rizq? All the good we get is from Allah, all the hardships
are from Allah and is a test for us.
POINT No.4 Education Not it may look awkward to modern world, but the
fundamental and foundational education should be the education
of Deen. Remember what Ali r.a. told us, that first 7 years let children
play and teach them imaan, next 7 years teach them Deen, and next
7 years make them your friends.
7. 7
So the then comes the education of Dunya , the objective of
education of Dunya should not be Rizq but to help humanity and the
Deen of Allah.
Whereas the modern education system and the modern
environment is teaching us otherwise. The concept of modern
freedom is break all religious commands and obligation but do
not break out laws of the system you are living in. The modern
concept of free speech is say anything about any religion, insult
any prophet of divine books that is freedom of speech, but you
cannot talk anything about gay people or cannot insult people
or leaders of King or Queen, and if you do so you will be
prosecuted.
Mafhhoom of the Hadith is best of you are those who are best with
their families, but also Islam teaches us to give them corrective
punishments, which is against the law, its ok the object a law in
this country.
So the modern education system make your life beautiful, maximize
the comfort, maximize fun, enjoy your life maximum and forget
about Aakhirah. And for that you need money so earn more
and more money.
POINT No.5 Whereas prophet ﷺ taught us a principle in dunya look at the
people who are less than you in provisions and be thankful and in
Deen look at the people who are more than you and strive in Deen.
May Allah help us to save ourselves and our families from the hell fire.
Wa aakhirud dawana anil hamdullillahi rabbil aalameen.