The document discusses supporting grieving parents in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). It begins by outlining common emotional responses parents may experience due to their infant's hospitalization. These can include grief, fear, guilt, and feeling out of control. The document then provides strategies for NICU professionals to help grieving parents, such as listening without judgment, validating their emotions, and educating them on coping mechanisms. It also stresses the importance of follow-up care to monitor parents' mental health after discharge.

1. Identifying, Understanding & Working with Grieving Parents in the NICU Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS, FAAETS, NCBF Physician • Grief Educator • College Instructor

7. My own worst nightmare happened — I delivered a 26 week 1 day, 790 gm baby girl. Suddenly I felt the anguish I had only seen in others, and I began to understand the depth of pain and the length of struggle parents live through. It was difficult to comprehend the overwhelming nature of this crisis... until I lived it. Dianne I. Maroney, R.N. NICU Nurse & Parent www.premature-infant.com

14. Kaarina 2½ & Kristiina 6 mos. Kaarina 5 ½ & Kristiina 3 ½

19. Six Dimensions of the Normal Grief Response The Dyer Model of Grief Grief is a multifaceted response to loss that affects the entire person. It includes physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, social & occupational elements.

26. The inability to do anything, to contribute to my daughter’s care medically as a physician or emotionally to hold her hand and pacify her as a mother was indescribably frustrating. How was I supposed to "turn off" my years of training as a physician-- being in the hospital, caring for patients and providing them comfort during a tormenting time? It was impossible. Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS Physician, Grief Educator, NICU Parent

27. Imagine coming to visit him everyday, not as a nurse, but as a mom. During your time with him you wanted nothing more than to help him through the difficult periods, hold & dress him, change his diaper; but you were powerless. Every single thing that happened to him mattered! It mattered not only for the moment but for the future: his eyesight, his lung disease, his ability to walk. There may have been brief moments where you were helpful, but the baby's life was truly in the hands of others. This lack of control is very intimidating to parents and is often interpreted as failure. Dianne I. Maroney, R.N. NICU Nurse & Parent, www.premature-infant.com

30. For years I had been telling parents, " Having a baby in the NICU is a roller coaster ride ." Although accurate, the analogy pales beside the reality. The range of emotions is beyond imagining. There is the moment of joy when she opens her eyes peacefully, followed by panic at the slightest hint of trouble. Dianne I. Maroney, R. N. NICU Nurse & Parent, www.premature-infant.com

33. Parents learn a lot from their children about coping with life. Murial Spark

39. I would like to ask those of you in the audience who are perinatal professionals to consider doing some things for us high-risk parents… to help us cope with our shattered dreams. Michael T. Hynan, Ph.D. Professor of Clinical Psychology, Researcher, NICU Parent http://www.uwm.edu/People/hynan/MINNAEP.html

50. NICU professionals can provide beneficial support for parents’ emotional struggles on their journey of grief. Supporting parents through such a challenging time may help the parents discover their internal strength, learn effective coping strategies and be better able to raise their NICU survivor in a life forever changed by loss. Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS

54. Adjustment for the high-risk parent means making unacceptable losses acceptable... giving up lost dreams and accepting what we do have is simply necessary... if we're going to resume living our lives as a family with any joy. Michael T. Hynan, Ph.D. Professor of Clinical Psychology, NICU Parent http://www.uwm.edu/People/hynan/MINNAEP.html Image: Sweet Dreams Ivory finish figurine from http://www.qualitygiftsuk.com

61. ~ Thank you ~ Online Page: http://www.journeyofhearts.org/nicu/mod PowerPoint Slides (as ppt and pdf) http://www.journeyofhearts.org/nicu/mod.ppt http://www.journeyofhearts.org/nicu/mod.pdf Blessing http://www.journeyofhearts.org/nicu/blessing.pdf Website: www.journeyofhearts.org Email: griefdoc@journeyofhearts.org