This is a condensed deck from a workshop I conducted with the team at a Bay Area startup. Topics include communication skills, feedback, and group norms.
2. Startups as
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
human systems
Ed Batista
June 28, 2016
3. Intro + exercise 50 mins
Feedback skills + exercise 45 mins
Break 10 mins
Group norms + exercise 55 mins
Break 10 mins
Feedback conversation 45 mins
Closing 15 mins
Agenda
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
4. Who am I?
Executive coach
Instructor @StanfordBiz
Contributor @HarvardBiz
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7. Startups as
human systems
Think about this team…
How are we communicating?
What’s working well? What’s not?
What feedback would be helpful?
8. The headline
Photo by Garry Knight [link]
Feedback is inherently stressful.
But candor is essential for survival.
So we have to learn to be direct
without triggering defensiveness.
19. Emotion
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
Signifies importance
Captures attention
Not foolproof
20. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The net
David Bradford & Jerry Porras, Stanford
How can we avoid misunderstandings?
How can we improve feedback?
37. SCARF model
David Rock, NeuroLeadership Institute
What social situations trigger a threat response?
How can we minimize the risk of social threat?
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44. Reframe the experience
Offering feedback ≠ Higher status
Emphasize choice & agency
Build the relationship*
Remember the Net
When getting
feedback
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45. When giving
Avoid a threat response
Be mindful of perceived status
More certainty & autonomy
Build the relationship*
Remember the Net
feedback
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46. Startups as
human systems
Think about your team…
When do you experience social threat?
When might you trigger it in someone else?
49. EQ and groups
Vanessa Druskat (UNH) & Steven Wolff
What characterizes effective teams?
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50. EQ and groups
Participation, cooperation, collaboration
A problem: You can’t mandate behavior
Behaviors arise under key conditions
51. EQ and groups
Mutual trust
Group identity (feeling of belonging)
Group efficacy (belief in value of the team)
Affected by the group’s emotional intelligence
52. EQ and groups
Individual EQ
Emotional awareness
Emotion regulation (≠ Suppression)
Inward (my emotions)
Outward (others’ emotions)
53. EQ and groups
High EQ individuals ≠ High EQ group
Group norms determine group EQ
Create awareness of emotions
Help regulate emotions
58. Talking about
A group dynamic
Determined by group norms
Is it OK for us to talk about feelings here?
feelings
59. Startups as
human systems
Think about how you show up on this team…
How aware are you of your emotions?
How well do you regulate your emotions?
What norms make this work easier or harder?
61. We never… We always…
1. Spend time getting to know
each other personally.
Norms that create
awareness
62. We never… We always…
2. Regularly ask how others are doing.
Norms that create
awareness
63. We never… We always…
3. Share our thoughts and emotions
in the moment.
Norms that create
awareness
64. We never… We always…
4. Ask those who have been quiet
in a discussion what they think.
Norms that create
awareness
65. We never… We always…
5. Fully explore others’ resistance
to our decisions.
Norms that create
awareness
66. We never… We always…
6. Set aside time to discuss and evaluate
our own effectiveness.
Norms that create
awareness
67. We never… We always…
7. Acknowledge and discuss the feeling
in the group in the moment.
Norms that create
awareness
68. We never… We always…
1. Have clear ground rules for productive
behavior in meetings.
Norms that help
regulate
69. We never… We always…
2. Call out behavior that violates
those ground rules.
Norms that help
regulate
70. We never… We always…
3. Express acceptance of
others’ emotions.
Norms that help
regulate
71. We never… We always…
4. Make time to discuss difficulties within the team
and the emotions they generate.
Norms that help
regulate
72. We never… We always…
5. Use playfulness to acknowledge
and relieve stress.
Norms that help
regulate
73. We never… We always…
6. Express optimism about
the team’s capabilities.
Norms that help
regulate
74. We never… We always…
7. Provide others with positive
feedback in the moment.
Norms that help
regulate
75. Discuss with
What norms are working well?
What norms would we like to change?
Where do we agree? Where do we differ?
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your partner
84. Defensiveness
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Stone & Heen, Harvard Program on Negotiation
What prevents feedback from being heard?
What causes defensiveness?