When a co-worker dies her death impacts his/her co-workers both on a personal and professional level. For those working in a more traditional work place, colleagues feel the loss on a daily basis, as they face an empty desk or office. What's normal and what's not? How do you interact with everyone again? These and other challenges are explored here by Speaker and Coach, Faith Wood, CSP.

1. Presented by: Faith Wood
www.faithwood.com
This presentation will examine the
impact of loss, grief and mourning
when one loses a co-worker.

2. Our co-workers are very much like an extended family. We
spend most of our waking hours with them, forging special
bonds of trust and friendship that are unlike our other
relationships.
So it's not surprising that a co-worker's death can sometimes be
particularly difficult to deal with, particularly if you were close to
that person, or if the death was sudden and tragic.

3. Grief is an emotion that is not easy to
talk about, neither is it easy to convey
to others. Often grief over death is
shadowed with our fears of not
understanding death. We don't know
all the answers as to why we die, or
what happens to us when we die.
The grieving process takes time and
healing usually happens gradually.
There is no one ‘right way’ to grieve.

4. People who experience sudden death loss often have intense
anger and have difficulty accepting the reality of their loss.

5. How we cope with a loss depends
on many factors, from our
personal beliefs to the presence of
other stressors in our lives.
For some of us, thoughts of the
deceased may make it hard to
focus on our work for a short
while.
In more extreme cases of stress, a
co-worker's death may cause you
to become tense and irritated,
adding to what may already be a
stressful work environment and
creating new problems elsewhere
in your life.

6. Long-term feelings of deep sadness can disrupt eating and
sleeping patterns, robbing you of the energy necessary to move
on with your life.
Those who attempt to "lose themselves" in their work risk burnout, a
state of intense mental and physical exhaustion that can cause cardio-
vascular and neurological problems. Others may become dependent on
alcohol and prescription drugs to cope with their sadness.

8. Grief happens within the person while
mourning happens externally

9. Everyone will feel different emotions
and express them in a way that is
uniquely their own.

10. Grief needs to be experienced, not
repressed, for healing to ever take
place.

11. The truth is, we never “get
over” our grief. We only
become reconciled to it.

12. One who expresses tears shows
their willingness to work
through their grief

13. 1. Denial
2. Separation
3. Depression
4. Acceptance

14. 1. Accept the Reality of the Loss
2. Work Through the Pain
3. Adjust to the New Environment in Which the
Deceased is Missing
4. Emotionally Relocate the Deceased and Move
On

16.  I’m sorry for your loss
 Is there anything you need?
 What can I do?
 If you want to talk, call me
 I don’t know what to say,
but I’ll be glad to listen

17.  I know how you feel
 How are you doing?
 Look on the bright side, It could have been
much worse
 Call me if there’s anything I can do to help
 Shouldn’t you be over this by now?
 It's probably for the best

18.  Don't push those grieving to get it all out or
express their grief.
 Don't try to find a lesson in the event
 Don't let your own discomfort keep you from
helping, calling, or visiting!

19.  Treat them normally
 Just be there – Do not feel the need to say
anything profound
 I don’t know what to say, but I’ll be glad to listen
(then do not interrupt)
 Is there anything you need?
 What can I do?
 If you need to talk, call me
 You are in my thoughts
 If silence and tears are all we can muster, that is
still preferable to staying away

20.  Share your sense of
humor. Laughter
really is good
medicine
 Silence is golden -
Hold a hand and
give a hug (but get
permission first)

22.  Participate in Rituals
(the funeral service)
 Be with others
(informal gatherings)
 Talk about it when
you can (share a
funny story)
 Express yourself
(write in a journal, a
poem or other
tribute)
 Exercise
 Eat right
 Release your
emotions - Cry (at
commercials, songs
or any other
stimulus)
 Create a tribute
(plant a tree, charity
run or walk, etc)

24. If you are having difficulty accepting a
co-worker's death, a qualified mental
health professional; a coach, counselor
or psychologist can help you adjust to
the loss. I would be happy to help.
www.faithwood.com or info@imind.ca