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Struggle To Make Small Talk?
Small talk can be a big problem. I want to be friendly 
and polite, but I just can’t think of a thing to say. 
Here are some strategies I try when my mind is a blank:
1. Comment 
on a topic 
common to 
both of you 
at the 
moment: 
the food 
the 
room 
the 
occasion 
the weather 
(yes, talking about the 
weather is a cliche, 
but it works)
2. Comment on a topic of general interest. 
A friend scans Google News right before he goes anywhere 
where he needs to make small talk.
3. Ask a question that people can 
answer as they please. 
It’s useful because it 
allows people to choose 
their focus (work, 
volunteer, family, hobby).
4. Ask open questions 
that can’t be answered 
with a single word.
5. If you do ask a question that can be answered 
in a single word, instead of just supplying your 
own information in response, 
ask a follow-up question.
6. Ask getting-to-know-you questions. 
These questions often reveal a hidden passion, 
which can make for great conversation.
7. React to what a person says in the spirit in 
which that comment was offered. If he makes a joke, 
even if it’s not very funny, try to laugh. If she offers 
some surprising information, react with surprise.
8. Be slightly inappropriate. 
(I can’t use this strategy, myself, because 
I don’t have the necessary gumption).
9. Follow someone’s conversational lead. 
If someone obviously drops in a reference to 
a subject, pick up on that thread.
10. Along the same lines, 
counter-intuitively, 
don’t try to talk about 
your favorite topic, 
because you’ll be tempted 
to talk too much. 
Blah! 
Blah! 
Blah!
Download My Free 
Habits Manifesto 
SIGN UP HERE 
Learn more tips for a happier life and healthier habits 
at GretchenRubin.com

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Struggle To Make Small Talk?

  • 1. Struggle To Make Small Talk?
  • 2. Small talk can be a big problem. I want to be friendly and polite, but I just can’t think of a thing to say. Here are some strategies I try when my mind is a blank:
  • 3. 1. Comment on a topic common to both of you at the moment: the food the room the occasion the weather (yes, talking about the weather is a cliche, but it works)
  • 4. 2. Comment on a topic of general interest. A friend scans Google News right before he goes anywhere where he needs to make small talk.
  • 5. 3. Ask a question that people can answer as they please. It’s useful because it allows people to choose their focus (work, volunteer, family, hobby).
  • 6. 4. Ask open questions that can’t be answered with a single word.
  • 7. 5. If you do ask a question that can be answered in a single word, instead of just supplying your own information in response, ask a follow-up question.
  • 8. 6. Ask getting-to-know-you questions. These questions often reveal a hidden passion, which can make for great conversation.
  • 9. 7. React to what a person says in the spirit in which that comment was offered. If he makes a joke, even if it’s not very funny, try to laugh. If she offers some surprising information, react with surprise.
  • 10. 8. Be slightly inappropriate. (I can’t use this strategy, myself, because I don’t have the necessary gumption).
  • 11. 9. Follow someone’s conversational lead. If someone obviously drops in a reference to a subject, pick up on that thread.
  • 12. 10. Along the same lines, counter-intuitively, don’t try to talk about your favorite topic, because you’ll be tempted to talk too much. Blah! Blah! Blah!
  • 13. Download My Free Habits Manifesto SIGN UP HERE Learn more tips for a happier life and healthier habits at GretchenRubin.com