Grief & Bereavement presentation at Akron Children's Hospital, October 2011. Very good slides of a parent speaker, who shared unhelpful comments and some helpful interventions dealing with the grief of losing a child.

1. Not Helpful/Hurtful Comments
 He’s in a better place & happy
 God needed an angel
 Was he your only child? -- This offended me at first
but now I know what they meant, I am thankful
that I have other children to focus on, BUT it does
not ease the burden of my loss
 At least you had him for 15 years….REALLY???
 Looks like you are doing ok and back to
normal….REALLY???

2. Difficult Situations
 His friend’s birthdays
 Looking where he should be sitting at in church
 Taking my other kids to trips he would have been on
 Having dinner at our table with a missing plate
 All holidays…
 Not wanting to “offend” or make people feel uneasy by
mentioning his name, but also not wanting people to
forget
 As this year approaches and all his friends are getting
their senior pictures done; Knowing I won’t get to do
that and will have to endure parties that he won’t be at

3. Helpful Interventions
 Music…Mitchell loved music, and I find myself
comforted by uplifting, spiritual music that lets me
know all is o.k.
 Butterflies: Mitchell’s last year at middle school we
went on a field trip and he said if he was reincarnated
(and we did not know he was sick) he would come
back as a butterfly….
 Just speaking to him whether it be in my car, at
home, church I don’t feel I have to be at the grave sight
to speak to him- in fact that makes it more difficult

4. Helpful Interventions
 Mitchell’s friends remembering and not being
afraid to talk to me
 The parent support group
 Spiritual belief: At first I blamed God, then myself,
now I understand that God does what is best for
that person, not what YOU think he should do for
YOU- It was MITCH we ask God to do what was
best for, not us…