Just as a building needs a sturdy foundation to support the structure, you need a solid foundation to support your life. Personal foundations will naturally vary depending on your circumstances. But they will always include core values, beliefs and highest life priorities supported by standards and behaviors that keep you strong, focused and effective.

1. THE
A TO Z GUIDE
FOR BUILDING A
STRONG PERSONAL
FOUNDATION
© M a r q u i t a H e r a l d E m o t i o n a l l y R e s i l i e n t L i v i n g
“Life doesn’t get easier and more
forgiving, we become stronger and
more resilient.”

2. Just as a building needs a sturdy foundation
to support the structure, you need a solid
foundation to support your life.
Personal foundations will naturally vary depending
on your circumstances. But they will always include
core values, beliefs and highest life priorities
supported by standards and behaviors that keep
you strong, focused and effective.

3. A – AIM TO BE BETTER THAN YOU WERE
Goals are a wonderful way to focus on specific
outcomes but just for a moment consider this. What IF
every day you were to strive to achieve one thing – to be
better than you were yesterday.
Imagine how your life would change for the better if you
mindfully followed that intention with everything you do
for 365 days!
“Don’t try to be perfect, just commit to being
better than you were yesterday. Better thoughts,
better decisions, better actions.”

4. B – BUILD HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
Healthy boundaries are based on respect, core values,
and your highest priorities and are dependent upon your
willingness to commit to standards for the behaviors
and circumstances that are acceptable in your life.
They protect you from abuse and pave the way for you
to achieve a more balanced life with happy, fulfilling
relationships and true intimacy.
C – CREATE DAILY RITUALS
Rituals are the backbone of your personal standards,
and your standards affect virtually every area of your
life. Small daily rituals keep you focused on the things
that matter most to you, and help you to stay motivated
as you build momentum toward achieving your goals.

5. D – DEVELOP COMPASSION FOR YOURSELF
AND OTHERS
Just to be clear, compassion is not is pity. Pity is
looking down and feeling sorry for the suffering of
another and then moving on. Compassion is
concerned with the alleviation of suffering – our
own and that of others. Compassion is intentional
and can be cultivated and strengthened by
expressing acts of kindness, caring, and support
that relieve the suffering of others as well as
ourselves.
“When we give ourselves compassion,
we are opening our hearts in a way that
can transform our lives.”

6. E – ELIMINATE ENVIRONMENTAL TRIGGERS
You may not have given much thought to it, but you are
highly susceptible to environmental triggers. For
example, the way you relate to certain colors or sounds,
physical and emotional clutter, stress, demanding
relationships … and even words.
Imagine spending time with someone who regularly uses
words like: down, depressed, pointless, hurt, painful,
despair, stupid, bad, tired, fed up, sad, nauseous, sick, ill,
disappointed and so on.
In time, this person will have built up an “environment of
words” around you, to which you will begin to respond as
surely as if the feelings expressed were your own.
Begin to pay attention to and actively manage your
environment and you’ll be amazed at what a difference it
can make to your mood and energy level!

7. F – FOCUS
It’s important, it works. And it’s not easy. We try to do too
much, only to become distracted by the things (and
people) yelling the loudest for our attention, and then end
up wondering where the day went.
The only way to achieve your desired results is to clear
out the mental and physical clutter and focus your power
on the things and people that really matter.
“One reason so few of us achieve what we truly
want in life is that we never direct our focus; we
never concentrate our power. Most people dabble
their way through life never deciding to master
anything in particular.”

8. G – GET RID OF TOLERATIONS
What have you been tolerating in your life? Whether
negative, unsupportive or toxic people, issues with your
physical environment, health, finances, work, or self-care,
make a list and begin removing them immediately.
Tolerations can be like human black holes pulling you in
further and further, sucking the energy right out of you.
H – HAVE A PURPOSE LARGER THAN SELF
A clearly defined purpose is the key to achieving life
goals, finding greater happiness and fulfillment and
having the ability to avoid discouragement and overwhelm
when faced with a problem or hardship.
Don’t make the common mistake of holding out for a
purpose “worthy” enough to impress others. You are the
only one who can give meaning to your life.

9. I – IMAGINE THERE ARE NO LIMITS
Imagine you have all the time, talents and resources to
achieve your goals and dreams. Sounds like a cliché,
but self-limiting beliefs can stop you in your tracks unless
you muster the courage to stand up to them. Here’s a
mantra for you … Courage Over Comfort!
J – JOURNEYS WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE
THE DESTINATION
Yes, we can learn many things on our journeys, but the
journey can actually become a deterrent to your growth
when the destination becomes an after thought.
The Zen of the journey philosophy may be great for the
ego, but wandering through life without ever achieving a
goal leaves you with no successes and deprives you of
the satisfaction and joy that comes with actually
crossing the finish line.

10. K – KEEP SMILING
It’s easy to be happy when things are going well, but
sometimes we hit a rough patch when no matter how
hard we try it feels like we’re never going to get back to
our “happy place” again.
People who are able to smile, rain or shine, have learned
that happiness is always a choice. The amazing thing is
that when we make that choice we free ourselves from
the extreme highs and lows of life. We experience greater
inner peace, and luck seems to be on our side. But even
when things don't work out, we are able to make the most
of our experiences and find opportunities for growth,
knowing that no matter what happens, we will be okay!
“Most people are about as happy as they
make up their mind to be.”

11. L – LIVE YOUR TRUTH
To identify and embrace your personal truth is one of the
most important things you'll ever do in this life, and one of
the most challenging.
Your true self is hidden beneath your labels (mother,
father, worker or boss), and the stories you tell to yourself
and others about who you are, where you come from and
where you are going.
It is the storehouse for your core beliefs, values and
deepest held hopes and fears, and it is a place most will
never have the courage to go.
Learning to live your truth isn’t about changing or “fixing”
you, it’s freeing you to be the confident, powerful person
you were meant to be, and living in a way that honors
your most fundamental values and highest life priorities.

12. M – MAKE SELF CARE A PRIORITY
What does “self-care” mean to you? Maybe taking a nap,
meditating, or treating yourself to a bubble bath?
All worthwhile activities, but reflect little of the full nature
of practical and emotional self-care such as managing
your time and energy, healthy boundaries, exercise and
nutrition and learning to understand and manage your
emotions.
One of the best gifts you could give yourself for the New
Year would be to take the time to create a personal self-
care plan for your long-term health and well-being.
“Your relationship with your body is one of the most
important relationships you’ll ever have. And since
repairs are expensive and spare parts are hard to come
by, it pays to make that relationship good.”

13. N – NEVER LET FEAR STOP YOU!
Most achieve a fraction of what they’re capable of
because of fear. Is there one thing you have avoided
because you’re afraid to try? Imagine what it would do for
your self-confidence to overcome this fear once and for
all!
O – OWN YOUR LIFE
The only way to truly own your life is to take full
responsibility for it. Admittedly this may be difficult for
some people to accept. After all, it does somewhat bump
up against the reality that there are things that we have
no control over.
Nevertheless, the fact remains that you do have control
over your thoughts, attitudes, reactions, feelings and
beliefs. And think about this, when you take responsibility
for everything in your life; you have the power to change
anything about your life.

14. P – POSITIVE THINKING WORKS
A positive mindset isn’t about looking at the world
through rose colored glasses, assuming things will
always work out, because sometimes things don’t. It
will however help you to stay confident, motivated and
open to possibilities for growth in ALL your experiences.
Q – QUIT EXPECTING PEOPLE TO READ
YOUR MIND
Develop your communication skills so you can
effectively communicate your desires rather than
expecting others to read your mind. They could guess
of course, but chances are they’ll be wrong most of the
time and then you’ll be frustrated and unhappy. When
you have the skills and courage to ask for what you
want and need, nobody will have to guess anymore.

15. R – RESILIENCE IS ABOUT MUCH MORE
THAN RECOVERY
Ask anyone about resilience and chances are they’ll say
it’s about “bouncing back” from a crisis. So you may be
surprised to learn that resilience is as much about
prevention and growth as recovery.
After six decades of ongoing research we now know
that highly resilient people tend to be healthier and live
longer, are more successful in school and work, are
happier in relationships and are less prone to
depression … and whether you realize it or not, you
have the power and ability to increase your capacity for
resilience and tap into this reserve every single day.
“The only difference between stumbling blocks
and stepping stones is the way in which we
choose to use them.”

16. S –STEP UP TO HIGHER STANDARDS
To achieve meaningful growth in any area of your life
you must raise your standards. We all have them, we
just aren’t always aware of them. Some we inherit from
family, others are the result of society’s norms drilled
home by the media. Often standards are driven by our
need to be accepted by others. Regardless of the
source, it’s well within your power to use them to
change or improve the quality of your life!
T –TRUST AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
The person you most need to trust and believe in is
yourself. No one can always be there to say the things
you need to hear when you need to hear them, or be as
consistently supportive of you as you can learn to be.
Having faith in yourself increases confidence, lessens
your need for approval and frees you to deepen your
connection with others.

17. U – UNLEASH THE POWER OF A PERSONAL
SUPPORT SYSTEM
An often overlooked building block in developing
emotional resilience is the ability to develop and
manage a personal support system. This is simply a
network of personal and professional relationships with
people who are willing and able to provide you with
practical or emotional support.
There is no one size-fits-all formula for a support
system because the nature of it will depend on your
circumstances and stage in life.
While there are many benefits to developing a support
system the most basic is simple peace of mind. No one
has all the answers, so knowing that when you find
yourself up against an obstacle there are people you
have a trusting relationship with available to lend a hand
can go a long way toward helping you confidently push
through any problem you may be facing.

18. V – VALUES ARE YOUR COMPASS
Your values reflect how you show up in life, specific
needs and principles you live by. They influence your
decisions, relationships, work … everything. Having a
good understanding of your values will help you gain
clarity and focus so you can make choices aligned with
who you are now and who you want to become.
W – WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
Too much of life is spent waiting. Waiting for the right
circumstances, for the right people, for signs that we’re
on the right path, for permission to do, be and have
what we want in life. Whatever it is you are waiting for
it’s time to name it, claim it, and own it. No one is ever
going to swoop in and declare “Yes, I officially give you
permission to (fill in the blank). Go now, be happy and
live the life of your dreams!”

19. X – X MARKS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR
GROWTH
Never stop growing! When you come across
something you don’t understand, rather than just
letting it go, X Mark that spot, word, thought or skill
and make a point of increasing your knowledge and
awareness by finding out about it.
Y – YOU CREATE YOUR REALITY
Unhappy people focus on what they don’t have, don’t
want and all that is wrong with the world in general
and themselves in particular.
You don’t have to allow self-limiting beliefs to restrict
your potential. Just because you think something,
doesn’t make it true. The good news is, you can learn
to change how you think. You can alter your
perception and change your life for the better.

20. Z – ZERO IN ON THE LIFE YOU WANT TO
CREATE FOR YOURSELF AND GO FOR
IT!!!
“This life is yours. Take the power to choose
what you want to do and do it well. take the
power to love what you want in life and love
it honestly. take the power to control your life.
no one else can do it for you. take the power to
make your life happy.”

21. Celebrate the day on which you embrace the power you have to create your own life experience.
It is an amazing journey and you alone will be responsible for the quality of it.
For more content like this visit
Emotionally Resilient Living
@ www.emotionallyresilientliving.com
Marquita Herald
Author, Publisher, Owner and Chief Resilient Living Evangelist