Creating a Culture of Bravery - Valerie Garcia
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Inman Connect New York 2017
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Creating a Culture of Bravery - Valerie Garcia
Editor's Notes
- When I was little, I wanted to be a writer and a teacher. I wanted to tell stories and use them to teach people things. Somewhere along the way, I listened to all the voices that told me writers and teachers don’t make any money, and I needed to get a “real job.” And so, ironically, I took a job in real estate. And then I discovered that everyone is afraid, no matter what we do. And so I found a way to tell stories and use them to teach people things. And that is why I am standing in front of you today.
- You know, studies show that we often dream about the things we are most afraid of. If that's the case, I am apparently afraid of lions, high school, and peeing in public. It's interesting though, that our dreams and our fears are so linked, because many of us go through life too afraid to actually do the things we dream of doing.
- One of the defining moments in my career (and in my life,) took place in a small real estate office, 20 years ago. It was my first month on the job. I was fresh out of high school, and it was my job to answer the phones and type contracts for the agents. (On a typewriter. With carbon paper.)
- Victoria was a brand new agent who had just started in the office, and she was a young, single mom with 2 toddlers. She worked hard, but, as you know, real estate isn’t just showing a few houses and cashing big checks. It is hard work and the first few months (and years) can be really tough. I remember a moment in Victoria’s life so clearly, even 2 decades later. A deal she had just worked on for several weeks had fallen apart and she realized that she wasn’t going to get paid for all of the work she had done. It wasn’t even a big deal, it was a fixer upper FSBO, but to her, it was a much needed paycheck. I will never forget the look on her face as she whispered, “How am I going to feed my kids now?”
- I remember the broker, Tom, – my boss, and still to this day, one of the best mentors I have ever had – I remember how he agonized between sitting her down and telling her that, although she was a hard worker and had the makings of a great agent, maybe she needed to consider taking a job that provided a steady, reliable paycheck, or… encouraging her to keep at it and not give up. The entire experience shook me. The look on Victoria’s face, the fear in her eyes, it has stayed with me every day for the past 20 years. And throughout the years since, as I have worked with and taught thousands of agents in countries all around the world, one truth has become universally clear to me.
- We are all scared, all of the time. We all walk around scared almost every day. Afraid of the unknown, of making the wrong move. Afraid of losing a deal, of losing a customer, a friend, a paycheck, an approval… we are all afraid. Fear is not something we like to talk about. We don’t exactly like to appear weak or vulnerable to those around us. But what we don’t often realize is that fear is so much a natural part of life that our bodies are actually programmed to handle it. Our brains are in fact, created to handle fear in a specific way.
- Three things happen in your brain when you feel fear. First, a signal is sent to the back of your brain that tells you to freeze. Then, a second signal is sent to your nervous system. Your heart rate goes up, your blood pressure increases, and BAM – you get a shot of adrenaline. Three, you then make an instant choice. Fight or flight?
- In that split second, fear is not a good teacher. It’s not transformational. It’s not motivational. It’s not inspiring. It actually demotivates, it freezes you up, and it makes you question everything. Because of this, we don’t actually learn anything from feeling fear. Where we learn is in the pause. The lesson is in the split second pause between what happens to us, and how we respond to it. It’s in the moment when we decide to stay – and use the knowledge and experience that we have to act, or whether we run away.
- The problem in the pause is that much of the time, we base our decisions on what other people are going to say or think about us. We make those split second choices based what we think other people will say or do. And the even bigger challenge is getting past the loud voices in our own heads. The ones we put there ourselves. Maya Angelou said it best when she said, “The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.”
- See, as children, we know who we are, before the world changes us and makes us believe that we have to make money, or be important, or that our dreams are unrealistic. As children, we know who we are, and where our passions lie. Do you remember who you wanted to be when you ‘grew up’? Do you remember that feeling of knowing what you were meant to be? Somehow, as we become adults, we often talk ourselves out of the thing we were made to be. But, if we have the courage to step out of fear and into opportunity - we may just find that we are still THAT THING, deep down. To do that takes bravery.
- We talk a lot about culture in this industry. We discuss it in conference rooms like it’s something that we can order off Amazon Prime. Those conversations always remind me of something Brené Brown once said, "We need people to be braver, and we need to create a culture that allows for bravery.”
- But bravery isn’t what you might think. You see, bravery doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid. We don’t need to create an environment where people are never afraid. Bravery simply means that you are willing to try. And more importantly, it means that you are willing to FAIL. This is what we need to create as a culture - the ability to allow ourselves, and others, to fail.
- Which brings me to the theme of this conference. “Execution: Turning Vision Into Results.” Do you know the number one reason we don’t execute on ideas and goals? Because we are afraid to fail. Because in the split second between fight, flight, freeze or collapse… we think, “What will people think? What will they say? What if I can’t do it? What happens if this doesn’t work?”… and we decide not to be brave. And fear wins. In fact, I bet you can all think of something you have learned already this week that you would like to implement in your business, right? And I guarantee that you have already thought of ways that you could possibly fail at it.
- But if you – brokers, managers, team leaders, business owners, entrepreneurs, association leaders… if you fostered a culture of bravery, you would recognize that failure is a natural part of the process. In fact, unlike fear, failure can be an awesome teacher. The more you do something, the less scary it becomes, because you start to realize the outcome is not as important as you think. It’s not as much about the end goal as it is about who you are, when you get there.
- So, how do you create a culture of bravery? How do you move from being afraid to fail, to embracing failure as a teacher? How can we all truly start seeing results in our companies, our associations, and our teams? We are going to start right now, today, by learning 6 truths. But first, I want you to think – what is the one thing you want to implement in your business this year? Just one thing. Maybe it’s adopting a new tool or technology. Maybe it’s growing your team. Maybe it’s finally hiring an assistant and delegating. Maybe it’s promoting younger, more diverse people in your organization. Maybe it’s mentoring the next industry leaders. Maybe it’s stepping out of the way and letting that generation lead. Maybe it’s simply getting in front of a camera and embracing video. Whatever your big goal for the year is, hold that in your mind as we go through these truths together.
- One: Choose to give up what you know. All too frequently, we don’t execute because we are too tied to the “way things have always been done.” We know it’s not as great as it could be, but it’s comfortable. It’s predictable. We have all seen this behaviour in our industry. The same folks are on the same lists doing the same things year after year. Organizations choose not to make risky decisions by sticking to the same old patterns. And sometimes, that results in great success. But other times, it means that you lose to those willing to put it all on the line.
- We have all sat in these rooms and watched the “disruptors” take the stage. Our first instinct is defense. That will never work. That isn’t how it’s done. That isn’t what this industry was built on.
- In order to create a true culture of bravery, we have to be able to set aside what we know for sure, and acknowledge that there are other potential paths to success. We have to learn to adapt to change. And as leaders in our businesses and in our industry… we have a responsibility to make this open-mindedness part of our culture. If we do that – who knows the kind of amazing ideas might come as a result?
- The second lesson is this: we have to be willing to be seen. We talk often about the public failure of Blockbuster and Kodak, but I want to tell you a story of epic failure from a brand you might not expect.
- I grew up in the great state of Michigan, the home of Vernors, the Michigan Wolverines, and Ford Motor Company. Ford was one of the first car companies to find success in the US. But in 1958, two years after they went public, they started hyping this amazing new car that was going to change the auto industry. They called it “the car of the future.” They hyped it for an entire year before unveiling it, and it was a massive flop.
- Over the next year, Ford lost $250m on the Edsel, before finally discontinuing it. In today’s world, that is a 2 billion dollar loss. To this day, the word “Edsel” is still synonymous with massive business failure. And yet, Ford went on produce countless other models and remains in the top 5 auto manufacturers in the world.
- We usually don’t want others to see our professional failures. We see them as a negative thing, or something to be ashamed of. Instead, we need to learn to think of them as part of the process. Failure is simply proof that you are doing something. Patrick Lencioni speaks on this topic, he calls it “naked leadership.” He talks about how important it is to get in front of your company and be naked (figuratively, not literally!) As a leader, you have to be willing to be seen, not only in success, but in failure. Those are defining moments for your culture.
- Lesson 3: We have to be not just able, but WILLING to ask for help. At some point we all have to put aside embarrassment and put up a hand and ask. Too often we think that we have to do everything on our own, but we are all in this together. There are always going to be those who are further ahead in the process than we are. Stop being afraid to ask them to help you. You’d be amazed at how often the answer is a resounding “yes.”
- You might be surprised at how many people would love the opportunity to help you and mentor you. All it takes is the courage to ask for it.
- Lesson 4: Fear can be overcome with practice. The scary stuff isn’t going to stop happening to us. So, why not get really good at facing it? Foster an environment in your business that calls out fearful moments as opportunities, instead of ignoring them. Make it a habit of doing what you are afraid of. Failure doesn’t have to be fatal. You don’t drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
- The next time you are in a meeting or a brainstorming session, and your first response is “that will never work” – replace that thought with “what are the possibilities if that did work?” Challenge your agents, your teams, and your staff to come up with ways that things could be done differently. That is where the magic happens.
- Lesson 5: Make bravery one of your employee benefits. When we hire someone new, or grow our team, or recruit a new agent, we all spend a lot of time talking about our value proposition. We talk about office space and commission split and working hours and medical benefits.
- But do we talk about the benefits of how our company, our leadership, our culture will be encouraging them to think outside the box, to try new ideas, to stop comparing themselves to everyone around them? Do we set the tone for the possibility of failure, and how that is a learning opportunity? Do we talk openly about taking risks and learning from them?
- I wonder sometimes, what if Tom, my broker 20 years ago, what if he had advised that brand new agent, Victoria, to leave real estate? What if he had focused on her fear, instead of sharing with her stories of his own failures and lessons learned? What if he hadn’t coached her to be brave, but instead encouraged her to play it safe? Where would she be today? More importantly, I look at the lessons that experience taught me, and I wonder where I might be today. Tom’s decision that day had a ripple effect on my life that he could never have anticipated.
- Lesson 6. Stop waiting. This is maybe the hardest lesson of all. We are all guilty of waiting until we feel ready. Waiting to try something new. Waiting to make a change. Waiting to leave a job or a situation. Waiting to go out on a limb or jump off that cliff.
- The thing is, we’ll never be completely ready. Sometimes we have to dig deep, have faith, and jump.
- Remember a few minutes ago, when I asked you to think of that one thing you wanted to implement in your business? Now, look at the lessons we have learned:
- Give up what you know. Be willing to be seen; to fail out loud. Ask for help. Get good at recognizing failure as an opportunity. Encourage others to be brave. Stop waiting for the right time. So – where are you going to start? How are you going to tackle that one big, scary goal this year? Better yet, how are you going create an environment that allows you to start encouraging those around you to do the same?
- Creating a culture of bravery isn’t easy. It requires us to choose to leave comfortable behind, be transparent when we fail, ask others for help, get back up over and over again, and try things before we are fully prepared.
- But, if we can do those things… if we can truly embrace fear – in our lives, our businesses, and our industry - we are capable of achieving results far beyond our imaginations.
- I want to remind you of something I said earlier. When we were children, we all knew who we were, deep down. We knew who we wanted to be, before the world convinced us why that wouldn’t work. I challenge you to dig deep and find that again. Chances are, that person and those qualities are still inside you, just waiting for you to be brave.