It's Just Lunch surveyed thousands of professional singles to develop this "little black book" to help single men navigate their way to a successful Valentine's Day!
2. The
little
black
book
Introduction
“
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be fun and
romantic, but it often just ends up being a source of
stress for guys. Navigating Valentine’s Day can feel
like navigating a minefield. Women seem to have a
secret recipe for how they want us to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but they never tell us what that recipe
is, and we end up disappointing them.
“
Alex Michel, The Bachelor Season #1
B
ut it doesn’t have to be this way. Women don’t
want Valentine’s Day to strike fear in the hearts
of the men in their lives! They just want to know
that they are special. Men, here are a few ideas to
keep in mind to make sure your Valentine’s Day is
successful and stress-free.
A
re you one of those guys who has a “Dating
Season” i.e. you avoid dating from early November thru Valentine’s Day so you don’t have to
worry about whether or not there will be family
involvement with Thanksgiving, what to do about
Christmas, and the expectations of Valentine’s
Day? If so, this “black book” is for you. There is
no reason to stop dating because of your desire to
avoid the stress of the “Big Holiday”.
Just The Facts:
One of the most loved as
well as hated holidays of
the year, Valentine’s Day,
can be a mixed bag for
singles bombarded with
media images of love and
romance. The pressure
of Valentine’s Day can be
so great that, just to escape it, more than a third
of single men surveyed
by It’s Just Lunch avoid
being in a relationship between Thanksgiving and
February 14. “How Sad”.
3. One.
THE BIG
DECISIONS
When do I have to make the Valentine’s Day move? When does she expect
a gift? Should I ask someone out on a first date on Valentine’s Day?
According to a survey of 2,378
singles. Get the answers here.
)
• Should you ask someone out on a first date for Valentine’s Day?
41% of men said no way—too corny. Women, on the other hand, seem to
have a different opinion. 62% of women said “Sure, why not?” and would
accept a first date on Valentine’s Day. So ask that girl out that you met
yesterday… on Valentine’s Day.
• when should you ask someone out on a Valentine’s Date?
A third of women expect a Valentine’s Date after they have been
dating one month. But what if you have only been dating two weeks?
Only 9% would expect a date.
What The Experts SAY
How long after you’ve
been dating do you
expect to have a definite
Valentine’s Day date?
17%
21%
17%
9%
6 Months: 17%
9%
6 Months: 17%
3 Months: 21%
21%
29%
29%
3 Months: 21%
2 Months: 24%
2 Months: 24%
1 Month: 29%
24% 24%
1 Month: 29%
2 Weeks: 9%
2 Weeks: 9%
“If you are newly dating someone, ignoring the holiday all
together won’t work, just don’t go overboard. Instead of worrying
about exchanging gifts, plan an activity you can do together and
both enjoy. Tickets to a sporting event or concert is perfect...
and it’s another guaranteed date night for the both of you!”
—Sara Darling, It’s Just Lunch Dating Specialist, Cleveland
“Yes, women put a lot of emphasis on
Valentine’s Day. Some do become upset
if they don’t get as big of a bouquet of
flowers as their friend. This is just a fact
you need to understand and live with.
We know you think the holidays are overcommercialized, a profit maker for candy
manufacturers and florists, but the day
does matter to women.” —Tena Green, It’s
Just Lunch Dating Specialist, Norfolk
TIP:
“Plan ahead.
Women
appreciate
knowing that
you put
some effort
into your
planning.
Show her
you care
and show
her that
you were
thinking
about her in
advance of
the big day,
not just at
the last
minute on
your way
home from
work.”
Alex Michel,
The Bachelor
Season #1
Propoerty of It’s Just Lunch 2010
Survey Says: (
4. GO? STAY?
EAT?
Two.
What do women consider a good Valentine’s date? Where do you take
them? Do they want to go out and deal with the crowds or eat in?
Survey Says:
Don’t wait until the last minute
to make restaurant reservations.
•What is the perfect Valentine’s Date?
Some of the most popular resAlmost 50% would rather go out to eat at
taurants start taking reservations
a nice restaurant.
364 days in advance. Valentine’s
Day is one of the busiest days of
50%
the year for restaurants. So unless
47%
Preparing dinner
you don’t mind eating at midnight,
40%
together at home 40%
40%
make restaurant reservations at
LEAST two weeks before ValenNot celebrateing at all 3%
30%
tine’s Day. So—that means...ask
Spending evening with
your date out at least two weeks
20%
a single friend 4%
before. Now if you can’t make this
Evening at a trendy bar 5%
happen, don’t sweat… just pick a
10%
Dinner at a nice restaurant 47% less popular restaurant or become
5%
4%
3%
chef for a night.
0
“What do men
want to do on
Valentine’s Day?
Watch basketball
or a movie. Have
sex. The same
thing they always
want to do. What
do women want
to do? Something
romantic that lets
them (and their
friends) know they
are loved.”
–Tina B. Tessina PhD
What The Experts SAY
“Cooking dinner (or even brunch!) can be a romantic activity to do together.
Open a bottle of wine and enjoy chatting, chopping and dicing from the
comfort of your own home. Even though this may be a routine activity,
there is no reason it can’t be special. Just put a unique twist (cuisine from
a favorite vacation destination, homemade pizzas) on your meal. It’s cheaper (and less crowded) then braving the restaurants on Valentine’s Day and
can be a lot more fun!” –Jennifer Foster, It’s Just Lunch Dating Specialist, Denver
Take it up a notch: “Leave a special note the night before which includes a message that will have her itching to get out of work early and
looking forward to spending the evening with you. Put a note on your front
door with instructions to enter without ringing (door unlocked). When she
arrives at your place that evening, the scavenger hunt begins. Leave a
trail of heart-shaped sugar candies (the kind you ate in grade school) with
special instructions left at various points throughout your place. Have the
last trail lead to you! Order dinner in or prepare it yourself (her favorite
foods of course) and the rest of the evening is totally up to you!” –Maria
Cephas, It’s Just Lunch Dating Specialist, New York
Propoerty of It’s Just Lunch 2010
TIP:
5. Three.
What
to Buy
What do they want? What kind of gift should I buy? How much
should I spend (based on the stage of the relationship)?
Gifts: (
OK.. so what
do you buy?
)
2 Weeks: 4%
4%
3 Months: 25%
40% of women do not expect a gift until you are in
a committed relationship BUT the other 40% DO
expect a gift after 3 months. After just two weeks,
only 4% expect to receive something.
37%
25%
6 Months: 17%
1 Month: 17%
17%
How long after you have been dating do you expect
to receive a gift?
17%
Only when in
a committed
relationship: 37%
• With that being said women do want flowers.
Over a third consider flowers and a card (with a handwritten note... not
just your signature) the best Valentine’s Day gift. Another third would love
a spa package or a nice piece of jewelry.
• So what about LINGERIE?
Well let’s just say “stay away from Victoria’s Secret”. Only 8% of the
surveyed women consider this a great Valentine’s Day gift (perceived
more for you than them)… Women seem to prefer the more romantic
rather than the sexual on this special day.
SAY “NO” to
chocolate.
months: Go for casual, but sincere. You’re still getting to know each other.
Now is NOT the time to splurge on something grand and expensive. The other
person would be in an awkward position if they didn’t get you something
similar. You want to come across as thoughtful, not over-compensating.
Women don’t want
chocolate for a Valentine’s Day gift despite
what the media is telling
you. Only 4% put a box
of chocolate on their
Valentine’s Day ideal
gift list. WHY? Giving
chocolate makes you
look like you waited until
the last minute to pick
up a gift and then picked
it up at the local supermarket. No thought.
the stage of your relationship should dictate the type of gift. Less than three
Survey Says:
How much money do
you expect to spend
on Valentine’s Day?
35%
28%
30%
33%
Over $100: 20%
25%
$50-$100: 33%
20%
$25-$50: 28%
15%
10%
5%
9%
10%
20%
Under $25: 10%
None: 9%
0
Remember: your gift sends a signal about your investment in the relationship...
Women want to feel like
you put some thought
into the gift selection.
Propoerty of It’s Just Lunch 2010
• What is an acceptable amount of money to spend on a
Valentine’s Day gift? There are no hard and fast rules. More importantly,
6. What
to Buy cont’d
Three.
What do they want? What kind of gift should I buy? How much
should I spend (based on the stage of the relationship)?
What the experts Say:
“And...despite trendy grumbling from the ‘roses are cheesy’ crowd, remember
that no woman is ever, ever upset at receiving a bouquet! As for a love letter,
forget the Hallmark cards and don’t even THINK about sending an email. Instead, find something really beautiful and unique, then actually write on it. You
know, with a pen.” –Jacquie Brownridge, It’s Just Lunch Dating Specialist, Vancouver
“With email, texting, facebook, tweeting, g-chat, etc. communication with
your significant other can often be impersonal. Write an old-fashioned love
letter this Valentine’s Day (not typed but in your own handwriting) on how
happy you are to have her in your life and why you enjoy being together. It’s a
simple gesture that she’ll really appreciate.” –Brenna Rick, It’s Just Lunch Dating
Specialist, Minneapolis
Survey Says:
What is
the best
Valentine’s
Day present
35%
30%
32%
29%
25%
27%
Spa package 29%
20%
Sexy Lingerie 8%
15%
Box of chocolates 4%
10%
5%
Piece of jewelry 27%
8%
4%
0
Flowers and a card 32%
TIP:
Be thoughtful.
Make your
Valentine’s Day
celebration
as specific and
personal as possible. Show her
that you understand and value
the things that
make her unique.
Do something
that shows
you’ve been listening carefully
-she’ll often give
you clues!
Alex Michel, The
Bachelor Season #1
Valentine’s Day is, without a doubt, the cheesiest holiday of the year. It is based
around love, hearts, sappy poems, flowers, and all that other delightfully gushy
stuff. Quit running from this fact and just embrace it. Take any idea and mock it,
make it ridiculous. Are you thinking of making dessert? Bake heart-shaped cookies. Want to give her flowers? Leave a trail of petals throughout the house. This is
the time of year when silly really works in your favor. –Andrew Wang, blogger
From the ladies… What’s the best gift you have ever received?
“Cool champagne bucket with a bottle of chilled champagne”, “Travel bag (for our future trips together)”,
“A poem”, “All-day spa treatment”, “A hand-drawn Valentine’s Day card with a frame to put it in”,
“A custom glass heart from www.collecthearts.com”, “Donation to my favorite charity in my name”.
Propoerty of It’s Just Lunch 2010
• Take it Over The Top...
7. FLYING
SOLO
Four.
What should you do if you aren’t dating someone?
Should I stay in or should I go out?
Just the Facts:
Over 40% of the adult population is single.
Get out there. Have fun. There IS someone out
there for you. You can’t meet anyone sitting at
home in front of a computer.
Head to your local health club. No better place
to meet a women who takes care of herself and
is confident in herself to be out on Valentine’s
Day without a date.
The Experts SAY
“This Valentine’s Day if you don’t have a significant other, there
are plenty of other people in your life who might appreciate being
remembered on Valentine’s Day. Your best friend, your sister, your
grandmother.” –Jacquie Brownridge, It’s Just Lunch Dating Specialist, Vancouver
TIP:
“Don’t sit at
home! 50% of
the people
out that night
are single. Go
have fun! The
more fun you
have, the more
attractive you
are!” –Pamela Lanier,
It’s Just Lunch dating specialist, Columbus
BYOB {booze or bachelorette}
Whoever says that Valentine’s Day is only reserved for couples who are madly in love? If
you’re single and do not have a date, don’t fret. Take this day to focus on yourself. Do something that
makes you feel good; after all you’ve worked hard and you deserve to take care of you. Salons for
men these days can do the full works for you… a haircut, a facial massage, a good shave and a mani/
pedi that will leave you begging for more. If this is not “man” enough, ok I get it. Why don’t you then
head to the nearest showroom and test drive that Audi R8 that you’ve been eyeing ever since that Iron
Man movie? Anisa Hassan, It’s Just Lunch Dating Specialist, Asia
• What do you recommend singles do if they don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Dr. Jaymie Matthews—Mission Scientist—Canadian Space Agency, Astrophysics professor (Rocket Scientist) at University of British Columbia says “Phone It’s Just Lunch and start planning for the next one.
There is a location near you and so is that special someone.”
Propoerty of It’s Just Lunch 2010
Host a party and ask each unattached guest to bring along someone of the opposite sex as
well as something to drink and a favorite food. Just because your friend might not have found a love
connection with this person, doesn’t mean he or she wouldn’t be right for you or another party guest.