Don't miss our upcoming webinars! Subscribe today! In this webinar: Psychotherapist Timothy Walker, PhD, and Oncologist Rob Rutledge explain how releasing suppressed emotions and increasing positive emotions can help remarkable cancer survivors facilitate their own healing. They will provide an overview of this little-discussed topic and outline ways people can do this deeper work to promote health and happiness. View the YouTube video here: https://youtu.be/DmlEJBAqZW0 Follow CCSN on social media: Twitter - https://twitter.com/survivornetca Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CanadianSurvivorNet Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivornet_ca/ Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/survivornetwork

1. C C S N ’ S R E M A R K A B L E C A N C E R
S U R V I V O R ’ S G U I D E T O
H E A L I N G Y O U R E M O T I O N S
W E E K 5 W I T H D R S . R O B R U T L E D G E
N O V E M B E R 1 2 A N D T I M O T H Y W A L K E R

2. D R . T I M O T H Y W A L K E R
www.TheHealingCircle.ca

3. T H E 9 C H O I C E S O F
E X T R E M E LY H A P P Y P E O P L E
F O S T E R A N D H I C K S
• Intention: they commit to being happy
• Accountability: they assume personal responsibility for their lives, refusing to blame
others
• Identification: they identify what makes them happy, not what others tell them should
make them happy
• Centrality: they make what brings them happiness central in their lives
• Recasting: they transform stressful problems and trauma into something meaningful
and important
• Options: they are open to new possibilities
• Appreciation: they choose to deeply appreciate their lives, experiences, and other
people
• Giving: they share themselves without expectation of return
• Truthfulness: they choose to be honest with themselves and others

4. S E T T I N G T H E I N T E N T I O N
•In preparation of going into any situation:
•How do you want to be in the world?
•What do you hope of yourself?
•As a ritual, going into difficult situations,
and in the middle of chaos

5. YO U R G OA L S F O R T H I S S E R I E S
•Maximize your chance of recovery
•Feel better emotionally
•Think more clearly and function better
•Connect more deeply
•Grow psychologically / spiritually

6. W H A T I S C O M P L E T E C A N C E R C A R E ?
( I N T E G R AT I V E O N C O L O G Y )
• Understanding what’s happening to you
• Getting the best from the medical system
• Empowering yourself with healthy lifestyle
- Exercise, diet, sleep, relaxation techniques
• Settling the mind
• Nurturing your spirit

7. TA K E H O M E P O I N T S
• It’s normal to have difficult emotions
• Our emotions provide knowledge and connect us
• Looking at fear and other emotions directly can unleash
your life force energy
• Self compassion and applying wisdom is key to healing

8. T O DAY ’ S W E B I N A R C O N T E N T
• Power of acceptance
• Creating the conditions for calm
• What to do when anxiety flares
• How to work with difficult emotions
• Healthy grief and anger
• Looking at fear directly
• Self compassion and compassionate abiding
• Q+A

11. N I N E K E Y FA C T O R S S H A R E D B Y
R A D I C A L R E M I S S I O N S U R V I V O R S
• Taking control of your health
• Following your intuition
• Radical change in diet
• Use of herbs and supplements
• Releasing suppressed emotions
• Promoting positive emotions
• Embracing social support
• Having a strong reason for living
• Deepening spiritual connection

12. K E L LY ’ S E M O T I O N A L A D V I C E
• Work on your emotional life
• Avoid unnecessary distressing media
• Journal and reflect
• Practice daily forgiveness
• Take a stress reduction course
• See a healer or therapist
• Facilitate positive emotions
• Rituals, friends, exercise

14. F O U R P I L L A R S O F H E A LT H
“Healing your immune system,
healing your nutrition,
healing your stress response,
and healing your identity.”
Jeffrey Rediger, MD, MDiv

15. CREATING THE
CONDITIONS FOR CALM
• Mindfulness
• Formal meditation practice
• Mindfulness integrated into life

16. C R E AT I N G T H E
C O N D I T I O N S F O R C A L M
• Exercise
• Diet!
• Low glycemic (protein with meals)
• Brain food – omega 3, healthy fats
• Sleep / nap
• Practice Relaxation / Meditation
• Touch is healing!
• Stay connnected
• Do the things that nourish your soul
• Eg. getting into nature

17. C R E AT I N G T H E
C O N D I T I O N S F O R C A L M
• AVOID:
• Unnecessary drama in relationships
• Television news
• upsetting activities
• Too much social media
• Alcohol / smoking

18. W H AT T O D O W H E N A N X I E T Y F L A R E S
• Have a plan
• Mindfulness of sensations and thoughts
• If you can’t talk yourself down:
• 1 - Breathing technique
• 2 - Pretend you’re relaxed (yawn, chew and slump)
• Remember what it’s like when you feel good
• Talk to someone who will listen

19. W H AT T O D O W H E N
A N X I E T Y F L A R E S
• Press the ‘pause’ button
• Be very curious about the physical sensations
• Four slow breaths into the abdomen
• Reassure yourself with wisdom and kindness
• SOBER (stop, observe, breathe, expand, respond)

20. S T E P S T O R E L E A S I N G
D I F F I C U LT E M O T I O N S
• What is the source of the emotion?
• Do you need to take action?
• How can you honour your emotions?
• Eg. express your grief or frustration in a healthy way
• Is a distorted belief contributing to the emotional
distress? If so, can the belief be reframed?
• Is it appropriate to let go of the thought or situation?

21. N A M I N G YO U R E M O T I O N C L E A R LY
• I’m feeling “stressed” could mean:
a. I’m anxious about the test results
b. I’m frustrated that I can’t do what I want
c. I’m sad about my life situation (lack of connection)
d. I’m feeling disconnected / scattered

22. H E A LT H Y G R I E F
•Any loss will produce some level of grief
•A cancer diagnosis can produce many types
of grief
•Grief has a natural course if you allow
yourself to feel it
•Best to get help if your grief is prolonged

23. H E A LT H Y A N G E R
• The wisdom in anger is that it protects us
• Yourself and others
• Self-regulate first
• Notice the thoughts
• Drop the thoughts that aren’t helpful (exaggerated or
aggressive)
• Learn to express anger with kindness and integrity

24. L O O K I N G AT F E A R D I R E C T LY
• What scares you most? And why?
• Death
• Suffering prior to death
• After life
• Loss of dependence / being a burden
• Not being there for your family / your family suffering

25. U N N E C E S S A R Y E M O T I O N A L D I S T R E S S
•Also called the second arrow, or
poisoning ourselves
•Happens when we judge ourselves for
having a difficult emotion or when we
fight against reality
•Self compassion is the most effective
way of letting go of the extra suffering

26. S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N . O R G
K R I S T E N N E F F, P H D

27. C O M PA S S I O N V S
S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N
• Imagine a time when a friend came to you who
was struggling
• Big failure, made a mistake
• Did something they regretted
• Relationship issues and feeling inadequate
• What do you usually say, how you say it, tone
of voice, types of language, relate to them,
body language
• Imagine a time when you were struggling
• What’s the difference?

28. W H AT A R E O U R B L O C K S T O
S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N
•Self-pity
•Self-centered
•Wimpy

29. S E L F - C O M P A S S I O N L I N K E D T O
M U L T I - L E V E L S O F W E L L - B E I N G
• Decreased anxiety, depression, stress, mal-adaptive
behavior, shame, poor body image
• Increased happiness, satisfaction, gratitude, optimism,
appreciate your body
• Healthier habits – exercising, eating well, getting better
medical care
• Greater coping, resilience, adaption
• Partners rate them as more giving, understanding, better
communication
• ** Intervention can decrease in depression, anxiety, stress,
and emotional avoidance

30. S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N . O R G
• With self-compassion, we give ourselves the
same kindness and care we'd give to a good
friend. Three elements:
1- Noticing the person suffering
2 - Feeling moved by others’ suffering so that
your heart responds to their pain
3 - Realizing that suffering, failure, and
imperfection is part of the shared human
experience.

31. S E L F C O M PA S S I O N R I T U A L
•Hands over your heart
•Strength stance

32. C O M PA S S I O N F O R T H E I N N E R C R I T I C
• Inner critic causes lots of stress!
• Criticizer and criticized
• Developed as a protective psychic mechanism
• Can help keep us safe
• Acknowledge its presence but don’t listen to its rant
• Be kind to yourself in dampening down the inner
critic voice

33. S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N B R E A K
• Think of a situation in your life that is difficult, that is
causing you stress. Call the situation to mind, and see if
you can actually feel the stress and emotional discomfort
in your body.
• Now, say to yourself:
• Step 1: This is a moment of suffering
Other ways to say this to yourself:
• This hurts.
• Ouch.
• This is stressful

34. S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N B R E A K
Step 2: Suffering in a part of life
-Our common humanity
Other ways to say this to yourself:
• Other people feel this way.
• I’m not alone.
• We all struggle in our lives.

35. S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N B R E A K
• Step 3: Put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your
hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest (or
however feels best)
• Say to yourself: May I be kind to myself
• You can also ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now to
express kindness to myself?” or
• May I give myself the compassion that I need
• May I accept myself as I am
• May I learn to accept myself as I am
• May I forgive myself.
• May I be strong.
• May I be patient

36. S E L F C O M P A S S I O N B R E A K
• Notice moment of suffering:
• Ouch this hurts! This is painful
• Soothing touch (hand on the heart, hug
yourself)
• Kindness towards experience
• Self-affirmations:
• May I be kind to myself in this moment
• May I accept this moment exactly as it is
• May I accept myself in this moment exactly
as I am
May I give myself all the compassion I need
to respond to this moment wisely

37. C O M PA S S I O N AT E A B I D I N G
© 2005 by Center for Nonviolent
CNCV.org
cnvc@cnvc.org
1.505-244-4041

38. C O M PA S S I O N AT E
A B I D I N G E X E R C I S E
•LESIN
•L – Locate the feeling
•E – Embrace the feeling
•S – Stop the story line
•IN – Identify the need

39. L O C AT E T H E F E E L I N G
• Locate the feeling (mad, sad, scared) in your body that is associated with the
strong emotion. Bring your mindful attention to that feeling which is a form of
energy in your body, a physical sensation. Locate it in a part of your body; chest,
throat, belly, pelvis, arms, head. Where do you feel it? Sometimes it is vivid and
strong like a knot in your gut, maybe a shattered feeling in your heart, or a
blockage in your throat. Other times it can be vaguer like fogginess in your head.
Explore its texture, quality, sensation, and its tone. If this emotion were a colour,
an object, or even a sound, would it be black or red, would it be a prickly burr, a
glob of tar, a loud piercing siren? Is it hot and burning? Is it a tight restriction? Is it
a grey numbness? Stay with the feeling in mindful nonjudgmental exploring. Let
your awareness itself be an open space around the feeling. You don’t need to act
out this strong emotion and you don’t need to repress it either.

40. E M B R A C E T H E F E E L I N G
• Embrace this feeling with loving kindness just as if it were a little
child crying or having a temper tantrum. Embrace it with your
mindful and heart-full awareness. Generate compassion for
yourself and send it like radiant light, right into that feeling, not
trying to change it or make it go away, but being fully present to it,
accepting it and embracing it with love and spacious awareness.
You can work with your breath too, breathing in the qualities of
the energy into your kind and radiant heart and then breathe out
love, healing, patient abiding and pure light into the feeling.

41. S T O P T H E S T O RY L I N E
• Stop the story line. Stop the thinking. Usually our strong emotions will generate
and become all tangled up with our thoughts, thoughts about ourselves, thoughts
about the other person or people involved in the situation, thoughts about what to
do, thoughts about the past, thoughts about the future. Stop all this talking to
yourself, right here, right now! Here you need to be very strong in our mindfulness
and firm in putting a stop to these wild thoughts. Remind your self that these
emotionally charged thoughts will not bring about a solution; on the contrary, they
are the structure, the internal context or frame that has caused you to be so upset
in the first place. Stop them as soon as you notice them. Be strong, determined
and deliberate. Stop your thoughts and come back to embracing the feeling, come
back to your breath, come back to your body and compassionate abiding.

42. I D E N T I F Y T H E N E E D
• Identify Need as you continue to stay with your direct
experience of the feeling. Identify the need underneath the
feeling. Strong feelings are movingmotivating us to get our
needs met. Do you need Safety, Love, Connection,
Communication, Appreciation, Support, Respect? (see list
of needs) Once you identify your need then you can make
a practical plan to get your need met. Promise to yourself
that you will be proactive, creative and empowered to get
your needs met.

43. L I S T O F N E E D S

44. Q U E S T I O N S ?
Dr. Rob Rutledge, Oncologist
Associate Professor of Medicine
HealingandCancer.org

45. C A N A D I A N C A N C E R
S U R V I V O R N E T W O R K
C O N TA C T I N F O
1750 Courtwood Crescent, Suite 210
Ottawa, ON K2C 2B5
Telephone / Téléphone : 613-898-1871
E-mail: jmanthorne@survivornet.ca or info@survivornet.ca
Website: www.survivornet.ca
Twitter: @survivornetca
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