3. โข Ability to
practice these
skills at work
Topics OUTCOMES
โข Mutual Support & Learning
โข Going Meta
โข Fun
FRAMING
Opening Circle
Icebreaker
Self-Awareness & Self-
Management
Social Styles Assessment
Break
My Ownerโs Manual
Break
Listening & Asking
Empowering Questions
Closing Circlehttp://bethkanter.wikispaces.com/cchi
Agenda
4. Opening Circle: Brief Intros
โข Name
โข Job Title
โข How long working for CCHI?
โข My wish for today is โฆ
5. Icebreaker
โข Write your name on sticky
โข Write your favorite Icebreaker
question on sticky
โข Pair-Share, Exchange
โข Pair-Share, Exchange
โข Pair-Share, Exchange
โข Group Share
7. Self-awareness/management is your ability to
accurately recognize your emotions as they happen
and to understand your general tendencies for
responding to different people and situations.
Seeing ourselves as others see us
Knowing what pushes our buttons
Using our self-awareness of our emotions to
actively choose what you say and do
8.
9. Ways to Cultivate Self-Awareness
Test Yourself Watch Yourself Reflect/Learn
โข Use frameworks for
understanding
โข Identify strengths and
weaknesses
โข Facilitates self-reflection
โข Lean into your discomfort
โข Know your buttons
โข Look at situations from above
โข Check your outward
appearance in situations
โข Get to know yourself under
stress
โข Observe the ripple effect on
others
โข Forming new good habits
โข Writing it down helps you
change
โข Treat yourself to a new
pen and notebook
10. Social Styles
โข Social styles is leading behavior styles framework
โข Behavioral styles are observable ways that you
interact with other people
โข Growth Areas: Helps you identify where you need to
improve your communication/behavior with others
โข Versatility: Knowing your behavior style and how to
โflexโ has a direct impact on your ability to coach,
facilitate, or lead teams
โข There are four different styles: Analytical, Driving,
Amiable, and Expressive
โข Uses a diagnostic or survey to determine where you
fall on ask/tells and controls/emotes
12. Social Styles
Analytical
Need to Be
Right
Thinking
Withdraws
Driving
Results
Action
Takes Charge
Amiable
Personal
Security
Relationships
Goes Along
Expressive
Approval
Spontaneity
Confronts
Asks Tells
Controls
Emotes
14. You need $5,000 in your budget
for program for next fiscal year.
Your only hurdle is that you must
convince executive to approve the
line item. You have 5 minutes to
convince them.
Reflection: What was the
experience like doing this role
play using social styles?
Social Style Scenario
1. Find a partner and
decide who is the
executive director
and who team leader
2. Initiate the
conversation in your
own style
3. Figure out the
executive directorโs
style and flex
4. Executive Directors:
Donโt be agreeable
until they start
reaching you with
your style.
15. Social Style Reflection
Now that you know your social style and have some
options for โflexing,โ what might you do in this
situation now?
What would you like other people who may be a
different social style about how to best work with
you?
17. In the Moment Strategies
โข Listen to other person
โข Breathe
โข Count to 10
โข Hit pause button
โข Make it a movie
โข Sleep on it
โข Smile and laugh more
โข Take control of your self-talk
Longer Term Strategies
โข Create an emotion vs
reason list
โข Talk to a skilled self-
manager
โข Talk to someone not
emotionally invested
โข Learn a valuable lesson
โข More reflection time
Self-Management Techniques to Practice
20. Create Your Personal User Manual
โข What is your social style?
โข When do you like people to
approach you and how?
โข What do you value?
โข How do you like people to
communicate with you?
โข How do you make
decisions?
โข How can people help you?
โข What will you not tolerate
in others?
26. Listening
โข Pair up with another person.
โข Person A will talk for 2 minutes
straight about something he/she
finds exciting or challenging.
โข Person B will listen for the full 2
minutes without interruption. No
talking, no commenting, no
questions. Just listen in silence. You
can use non-verbal communication
limitedly. Mostly be present and
listen.
โข Switch roles.
27. Debrief
โข How was it for each of you?
โข What was your experience?
โข What was hard?
โข What came naturally?
28. The Process of Reflective Listening
Full Attention
LoopingDipping
The Process of Reflective Listening
29. Listening Role Play
We will do two role plays that illustrate good and
bad listening techniques
Role Play 1
Role Play 2
What did you notice?
What was different between the two role plays?
30. Basic Reflective Listening Techniques to Master
Paraphrase: Repeating back in your own words what someone has said, often using
phrasing such as โLet me see if Iโm understanding you.โ This builds trust and
establishes your objectivity. You end your paraphrase with โDid I get it?โ
Draw Out: After you listen and paraphrase, you ask open-ended or empowering
questions to draw people out. โTell me more โฆโ A simple hmmโฆ. often works
Intentional Silence: Leaving space for quiet, an essential reflective listening skill. It is
basically a pause. It helps people process complex thoughts.
Acknowledge Feelings: People communicate their feelings, sometimes not
directly. This is a three-step process: observe body language, pose a question that
names the feelings, and paraphrase their responses.
Meta Listen: Listen for what the other person cares about, the value being created
in the conversation, for what you appreciate about the person, or for what is not
being said.
31. Practice
โข Pair up with different person.
โข Person A will talk for 2 minutes
straight about something he/she
finds exciting or challenging.
โข Person B will practice paraphrase,
drawing out, intentional silence,
acknowledge feelings, and meta
listening
โข Switch roles.
32. Debrief
โข What was it like to use reflective listening when having a
conversation with a work colleague?
33. The Power of Empowering Questions
Empowering questions help a
person reflect, deepen
learning, imagine the
possibilities, create clarity,
challenge assumptions, think
differently about a problem or
take ownership
No blame, bias, leading
questions or close-ended
questions
It causes silence
34. Examples of Empowering Questions
โข Whatโs most important?
โข Which values are you honoring?
โข What makes this challenging?
โข How might others view this situation?
โข What impact is this having?
โข What did you learn from this?
โข What would like to see happen?
โข What would success look like?
โข What would you try, if you knew you couldnโt
fail?
โข Who are your allies in this?
โข What might get in the way?
โข What would you like to change?
35. Examples of Disempowering Questions
Blame
Why are you behind schedule?
Whatโs the problem with this
project?
Who isnโt keeping up?
Donโt you know any better
than that?
Leading Questions
You wanted to do it by yourself,
didnโt you?
Donโt you agree that John is
the problem here?
Everyone else on the team
thinks John is the problem.
What about you?
Closed Questions
Is this a good time to talk?
What time is the meeting?
How many people are coming?
Who else will be there?
When will the report be ready?
36. Group Coaching on Empowering Questions
โข Volunteer to share a challenge or problem
they are working on two minutes
โข Participants practice asking empowering
questions
37. Coaching Exercise: Asking Powerful Questions
โข Pair up with another person.
โข Person A will talk for 2 minutes about something
he/she finds exciting or challenging.
โข Person B will listen and practice asking
empowering questions.
โข Switch roles.
38. โข Be genuinely curious
โข Donโt make assumptions
โข Ask open-ended questions
โข โWhatโ and โHowโ are great. โWhenโ, โWhoโ, and
โWhereโ can be good too. Try to avoid โWhyโ
โข Make sure they are not leading questions
โข Ask one at a time
โข Keep it simple. Even dumb.
โข Be comfortable with silence
Tips
39. Putting It All Together: Peer Coaching
โข Listening with full attention and not talking
โข Using techniques: paraphrase, draw out, intentional
silence, acknowledge feelings, and meta
โข Asking empowering questions
40. Exercise
โข Work in Triads
โข Roles
โข Person A: Talks about Problem/Challenge for 3
minutes
โข Person B: Coaches for 3 minutes
โข Person C: Witness โ Shares observations
41. Coaching Exercise: Full Group Debrief
โข What was the experience like doing the
exercise?
โข How might these skills be useful in your
work with other staff or members?
45. Closing Circle: Reflection
โข What insight did you gain about your communications
style and working with others?
โข What will you commit to practicing in the coming months?
46. Next Steps
โข Journal
โข Practice these skills in work
situations
โข Refer to your social styles and
ownerโs manual
โข Add 10 minutes to agenda of staff
meeting for reflection
โข Check-In Call, Next Session