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LOVE AND MARRIAGE
DR. KEN BOA
Relationships
Relationships
Relationships
The Triune, Intensely
Relational God
Father Son
Spirit
We Were Created for
Relationships
God Us
Others
No Peace in Relationships
God Us
Others
Loving GodLoving God
CompletelyCompletely Loving Self CorrectlyLoving Self Correctly
Loving OthersLoving Others
CompassionatelyCompassionately
DoingDoing
BeingBeingKnowingKnowing
Relationships
Tip 1
• * Marriage is a lifetime covenant of mutual
commitment between a man and a woman
• * Should lead to oneness on every level: spirit,
soul, and body
• * Marriage is an
earthly analogy of a
spiritual truth
Tip 2
• * Masculinity and femininity each expresses
something different about God
Tip 3
• * Common Problem:
Failure to leave, to
cleave, or to become
one flesh
Tip 4
• * Growing marriages never happen by default;
they are cultivated by years of discipline and
dependence
Tip 5
• * Five Love Languages:
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Tip 6
• * The Greatest Enemy: A selfish attitude
concerned with the other person’s character
and one’s own needs
•* Other-centered love focuses on our
character and their needs
Tip 7
• * The best gift
for my
spouse is for
me to love
Jesus more
Tip 8
• * My spouse should be my best
friend
Tip 9
• * Spiritual and soul oneness provide the
basis for physical oneness - not vice versa
Tip 10
The Five Loves
Epithumia
Legitimate physical desire
Lust (negative sense)
Should be a part of every
marriage
Eros
Not used in NT
Romantic love
Sexual love (“erotic”)
Lover is occupied with the
beloved
With or without epithumia
Storge
Not used in NT
Love of affection or
belonging
Shared by family members
Security, emotional refuge
Phileo
Love of friendship,
companionship, openness
Product of shared interests,
time, insights, vision,
experiences
Occupied with common
interests and activities
Agape
Highest of the loves
Unselfishness and giving;
sacrifice
Unconditional
A willed choice to put
another’s interest before
one’s own
Motivated by the will, not by
emotions
1 Corinthians 13
“I’m not a smart man.
But I know what love is.”
- Forrest Gump, 1994
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“4
Love is patient,
love is kind
and is not jealous;
love does not brag
and is not arrogant,
5
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
6
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth;
7
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
8
Love never fails...”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“4
Love is patient,
love is kind
and is not jealous;
love does not brag
and is not arrogant,
5
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“4
Love is patient,
love is kind
and is not jealous;
love does not brag
and is not arrogant,
5
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“4
Love is patient,
love is kind
and is not jealous;
love does not brag
and is not arrogant,
5
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“4
Love is patient,
love is kind
and is not jealous;
love does not brag
and is not arrogant,
5
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“4
Love is patient,
love is kind
and is not jealous;
love does not brag
and is not arrogant,
5
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“4
Love is patient,
love is kind
and is not jealous;
love does not brag
and is not arrogant,
5
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“4
Love is patient,
love is kind
and is not jealous;
love does not brag
and is not arrogant,
5
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“4
Love is patient,
love is kind
and is not jealous;
love does not brag
and is not arrogant,
5
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“4
Love is patient,
love is kind
and is not jealous;
love does not brag
and is not arrogant,
5
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong
suffered,
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
6
does not rejoice in
unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth;
7
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
8
Love never fails...”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
6
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth;
7
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
8
Love never fails...”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
6
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth;
7
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
8
Love never fails...”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
6
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth;
7
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
8
Love never fails...”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
6
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth;
7
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
8
Love never fails...”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
6
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth;
7
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
8
Love never fails...”
The End
Reflections Ministries Resources
Reflections - A free monthly teaching letter
ReflectionsMinistries.org website -
Daily Growth email and free text
and audio resources
- Audio/visual presentations of crucial topics
- $20 each
- Call 800-DRAW NEAR (800-372-9632)
DVD Series

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Love and Marriage

  • 5. The Triune, Intensely Relational God Father Son Spirit
  • 6. We Were Created for Relationships God Us Others
  • 7. No Peace in Relationships God Us Others
  • 8. Loving GodLoving God CompletelyCompletely Loving Self CorrectlyLoving Self Correctly Loving OthersLoving Others CompassionatelyCompassionately DoingDoing BeingBeingKnowingKnowing
  • 10. Tip 1 • * Marriage is a lifetime covenant of mutual commitment between a man and a woman • * Should lead to oneness on every level: spirit, soul, and body
  • 11. • * Marriage is an earthly analogy of a spiritual truth Tip 2
  • 12. • * Masculinity and femininity each expresses something different about God Tip 3
  • 13. • * Common Problem: Failure to leave, to cleave, or to become one flesh Tip 4
  • 14. • * Growing marriages never happen by default; they are cultivated by years of discipline and dependence Tip 5
  • 15. • * Five Love Languages: Quality Time Words of Affirmation Gifts Acts of Service Physical Touch Tip 6
  • 16. • * The Greatest Enemy: A selfish attitude concerned with the other person’s character and one’s own needs •* Other-centered love focuses on our character and their needs Tip 7
  • 17. • * The best gift for my spouse is for me to love Jesus more Tip 8
  • 18. • * My spouse should be my best friend Tip 9
  • 19. • * Spiritual and soul oneness provide the basis for physical oneness - not vice versa Tip 10
  • 21. Epithumia Legitimate physical desire Lust (negative sense) Should be a part of every marriage
  • 22. Eros Not used in NT Romantic love Sexual love (“erotic”) Lover is occupied with the beloved With or without epithumia
  • 23. Storge Not used in NT Love of affection or belonging Shared by family members Security, emotional refuge
  • 24. Phileo Love of friendship, companionship, openness Product of shared interests, time, insights, vision, experiences Occupied with common interests and activities
  • 25. Agape Highest of the loves Unselfishness and giving; sacrifice Unconditional A willed choice to put another’s interest before one’s own Motivated by the will, not by emotions
  • 27. “I’m not a smart man. But I know what love is.” - Forrest Gump, 1994
  • 28. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
  • 29. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails...”
  • 30. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
  • 31. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
  • 32. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
  • 33. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
  • 34. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
  • 35. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
  • 36. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
  • 37. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
  • 38. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
  • 39. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails...”
  • 40. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails...”
  • 41. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails...”
  • 42. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails...”
  • 43. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails...”
  • 44. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails...”
  • 46. Reflections Ministries Resources Reflections - A free monthly teaching letter ReflectionsMinistries.org website - Daily Growth email and free text and audio resources
  • 47. - Audio/visual presentations of crucial topics - $20 each - Call 800-DRAW NEAR (800-372-9632) DVD Series

Editor's Notes

  1. Because God is a relational being, the two great commandments of loving him and expressing this love for him by loving others are also intensely realational
  2. We were created for fellowship and intimacy not only with God but also with each other. The relational implications of Christian doctrine and the Trinity are profound. Since we were created in God’s image and likeness, we too are relational beings. The better we know God, the better we know ourselves.
  3. We’re not at peace with others because we’re not at peace with ourselves because we’re not at peace with God.
  4. Which is your love language?
  5. The end