Santa Claus resigns as CEO of Santa Inc. in a letter to Jesus. He admits that over time he grew jealous of the attention Jesus received and wanted to replace him as the focus of Christmas. Though his corporate takeover initially succeeded, on a recent Christmas Eve he realized how far things had strayed from honoring Jesus. He asks Jesus for forgiveness and ideas on how to restore Christ to Christmas.

1. Creative Youth Ideas
CEO Of Santa, Inc. Resigns
What if Santa Resigned and
pointed people to Christ?

2. The rumor is confirmed. The
big guy, CEO of Santa, Inc., has
resigned. He will Ho Ho Ho no
more, at least, not in any
official capacity. SheepTrax
Undercover investigators have
obtained a journalistic
exclusive, a copy of Santa’s
shocking resignation letter.
Fans of the big elf, read it and
weep.
– Editor
ChristmasPartyList.com

3. Dear Jesus,
effective immediately, I have
disbanded the Board of
Directors and hereby resign as
CEO of Santa, Inc. We are hereby
dissolved.
Bluntly, I’ve been a fraud. While
we both know December 25th
isn’t really your birthday, it was
still kind of cool that people took
one special day a year to honor
you with gifts like those Magi did
so long ago. When we started, I
simply wanted to honor you,
too.
ChristmasPartyList.com

4. Sure, I started well enough. I
just wanted in on the action,
blessing kids and all. But you
always got the attention. It was
all about you! I froze my jolly
tail off year after year being
your glorified delivery boy and
for what?
A plate of stale cookies and
fighting with cats for an
occasional glass of sour milk?
ChristmasPartyList.com

5. My unheated sled wasn’t even
equipped with a golden
parachute! You try bolting
around this miserable little
planet dodging jets, terrorist
missiles, and slack-jawed hunters
drooling the word, “venison!”
The Santa gig got old. Over time,
I simply soured inside, and began
devising a hostile takeover coup
of Christmas. I can admit now. I
wanted to be you.
ChristmasPartyList.com

6. I don’t know where I ever
picked up a copy of Judas’
bestseller, How To Write Your
Own Ticket With God but he
was my inspiration, my guide
for the journey to the dark side
of Christmas.
Being CEO of Santa, Inc. was a
dream job, at first anyway.
ChristmasPartyList.com

7. I worked a whopping one day a
year, did oodles of PR work
schmoozing with celebrities, and
headed my own private army of
displaced mindless munchkins
who did my bidding with no
union interference. Bill Gates
should do as well.
Somehow, I got jealous of all the
attention you received. Manny
Mammon stepped in and helped
engineer our break with you,
supplanting you with me as CEO.
ChristmasPartyList.com

8. Funny thing, but for a while our
holiday hijacking worked. My
name was in lights. Kids read
about me, idolized me, and
wanted to be me. I was the star of
my own Christmas Pageant! But
conscience came calling.
One recent Christmas Eve, during
the final moments of the pre-
launch countdown, I was double-
checking my Naughty and Nice
lists.
ChristmasPartyList.com

9. Hackers had tried to infiltrate
our mainframe and play havoc
with the gift list. Our new Anti-
CyberTerrorism division
intercepted their little ploy and
responded with our new “Lump
of Coal” hard drive-melting
virus. Hey, an elf’s gotta do
what an elf’s gotta do.
Anyway, I suddenly
remembered that you have the
original Master Naughty and
Nice lists. You really do know
who is sleeping and who is
awake.
ChristmasPartyList.com

10. While it’s part of my corporate
vision statement, without your
guidance, the truth is I was only
guessing. In a moment of
blinding clarity, I realized that I
screwed the whole Christmas
gig up for everyone. It’s not
about you anymore. It’s not
even about me. It’s about
Mammon and Greed and
promoting everything I once
stood against. I have become
what I hated.
ChristmasPartyList.com

11. I realized which of your lists I was
on and began to weep.
I went incognito to the Mall of
America and listened to my
theme songs droning on and on
over the intercom system. I was
hoping to hear even one hymn,
one song of worship; Silent Night
even. Alas, nothing but jungles
and reindeer drinking songs. I’m
the guy who killed Christmas.
ChristmasPartyList.com

12. Jesus, I stabbed you in the back
and have finally come to see I am
not at all a jolly good fellow, but
more of a Goodfellow. I’m just a
red-suited, black-booted thug. I
sinned. Please forgive me.
The reindeer were released back
into the wild, which should make
those tree-hugging buffoons at
PETA rejoice. I’ve subcontracted
the elves out to a multi-national
conglomerate in Japan. They rock
at making PlayStations.
ChristmasPartyList.com

13. Perhaps I’ll open an Elves Big &
Tall Shoppe, or shave and do
Sumo wrestling. I don’t know.
Somehow, I have to stop the
insanity of X-Mas. Any ideas? Is
there any way to put Christ back
in Christmas?
I royally screwed up. Sorry.
Your broken-hearted pal,
Kriss Kringle, a.k.a. Santa Claus
ChristmasPartyList.com

14. For more Christmas Party Ideas
Visit out website at
ChristmasPartyList.com