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Ceo of Santa, inc resigns

What if Santa Resigned and pointed people to Christ?

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Ceo of Santa, inc resigns

  1. 1. Creative Youth IdeasCEO Of Santa, Inc. Resigns What if Santa Resigned and pointed people to Christ?
  2. 2. The rumor is confirmed. Thebig guy, CEO of Santa, Inc., hasresigned. He will Ho Ho Ho nomore, at least, not in anyofficial capacity. SheepTraxUndercover investigators haveobtained a journalisticexclusive, a copy of Santa’sshocking resignation letter.Fans of the big elf, read it andweep. – Editor
  3. 3. Dear Jesus,effective immediately, I havedisbanded the Board ofDirectors and hereby resign asCEO of Santa, Inc. We are herebydissolved.Bluntly, I’ve been a fraud. Whilewe both know December 25thisn’t really your birthday, it wasstill kind of cool that people tookone special day a year to honoryou with gifts like those Magi didso long ago. When we started, Isimply wanted to honor you,too.
  4. 4. Sure, I started well enough. Ijust wanted in on the action,blessing kids and all. But youalways got the attention. It wasall about you! I froze my jollytail off year after year beingyour glorified delivery boy andfor what?A plate of stale cookies andfighting with cats for anoccasional glass of sour milk?
  5. 5. My unheated sled wasn’t evenequipped with a goldenparachute! You try boltingaround this miserable littleplanet dodging jets, terroristmissiles, and slack-jawed huntersdrooling the word, “venison!”The Santa gig got old. Over time,I simply soured inside, and begandevising a hostile takeover coupof Christmas. I can admit now. Iwanted to be you.
  6. 6. I don’t know where I everpicked up a copy of Judas’bestseller, How To Write YourOwn Ticket With God but hewas my inspiration, my guidefor the journey to the dark sideof Christmas.Being CEO of Santa, Inc. was adream job, at first anyway.
  7. 7. I worked a whopping one day ayear, did oodles of PR workschmoozing with celebrities, andheaded my own private army ofdisplaced mindless munchkinswho did my bidding with nounion interference. Bill Gatesshould do as well.Somehow, I got jealous of all theattention you received. MannyMammon stepped in and helpedengineer our break with you,supplanting you with me as CEO.
  8. 8. Funny thing, but for a while ourholiday hijacking worked. Myname was in lights. Kids readabout me, idolized me, andwanted to be me. I was the star ofmy own Christmas Pageant! Butconscience came calling.One recent Christmas Eve, duringthe final moments of the pre-launch countdown, I was double-checking my Naughty and Nicelists.
  9. 9. Hackers had tried to infiltrateour mainframe and play havocwith the gift list. Our new Anti-CyberTerrorism divisionintercepted their little ploy andresponded with our new “Lumpof Coal” hard drive-meltingvirus. Hey, an elf’s gotta dowhat an elf’s gotta do.Anyway, I suddenlyremembered that you have theoriginal Master Naughty andNice lists. You really do knowwho is sleeping and who isawake.
  10. 10. While it’s part of my corporatevision statement, without yourguidance, the truth is I was onlyguessing. In a moment ofblinding clarity, I realized that Iscrewed the whole Christmasgig up for everyone. It’s notabout you anymore. It’s noteven about me. It’s aboutMammon and Greed andpromoting everything I oncestood against. I have becomewhat I hated.
  11. 11. I realized which of your lists I wason and began to weep.I went incognito to the Mall ofAmerica and listened to mytheme songs droning on and onover the intercom system. I washoping to hear even one hymn,one song of worship; Silent Nighteven. Alas, nothing but junglesand reindeer drinking songs. I’mthe guy who killed Christmas.
  12. 12. Jesus, I stabbed you in the backand have finally come to see I amnot at all a jolly good fellow, butmore of a Goodfellow. I’m just ared-suited, black-booted thug. Isinned. Please forgive me.The reindeer were released backinto the wild, which should makethose tree-hugging buffoons atPETA rejoice. I’ve subcontractedthe elves out to a multi-nationalconglomerate in Japan. They rockat making PlayStations.
  13. 13. Perhaps I’ll open an Elves Big &Tall Shoppe, or shave and doSumo wrestling. I don’t know.Somehow, I have to stop theinsanity of X-Mas. Any ideas? Isthere any way to put Christ backin Christmas?I royally screwed up. Sorry.Your broken-hearted pal,Kriss Kringle, a.k.a. Santa Claus
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