Do you love agile? Do you hate agile? Have you ever seen what a good agile project works like? Companies claim to do agile, but just use the words without understanding what they mean. Developers join companies and find out that their previous experience doing agile development was way better or way worse than their current company. In this talk, I go through my 17+ years of agile development, using XP, Scrum, Kanban, Rational, and other techniques with large organizations, small startups, co-located teams and distributed teams to talk about why companies aspire to agile and why they often come nowhere close. First presented at Seattle Code Camp, September 2017