Brooklyn Friends School Gender Bias
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50 minute session delivered to 7th and 8thgrade girls. How does the media influence girls? See the connection between media, girls' obsession with perfection and niceness, their tendency for relational aggression and unhealthy friendships, women's pressures to juggle everything from career to love to children, frightening statistics around the beauty and cosmetic surgery industry, and lack of women in leadership.
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Brooklyn Friends School Gender Bias
- 1. Brooklyn Friends School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Seattle Girls ’ School Good and Pretty: Gender Bias and What We Can Do About It Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 2. About Seattle Girls ’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 3. Gender Differences Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 5. Special Considerations Sexy --- Slutty Powerful --- Bitchy Smart --- Bookish Cheerful --- Uncool Confident --- “All That” Athletic --- Jocky Close to Friends --- Lesbian Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 6. Myth of the Good and Pretty – Where Does it Lead? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 7. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 8. The “Good Girl” in Conflict Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 10. Friends and Frienemies Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 13. The “Good Girl” in the Workplace and Home Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 16. Beauty Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) The “Pretty Girl” on Beauty
- 18. What Can We Do? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 21. Undoing Gender Bias Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 22. Questions and Comments Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Editor's Notes
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Introduction - Who Am I? Why This Workshop? Goals and Outcomes?
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee John Medina - Talaris Institute Watching boys and girls play. Boys play together through competition (Oh yeah? I bet I can toss the ball higher than you!) Girls play collaboratively (Can you toss the ball as high as me? Let ’s try a little higher). Mix boys and girls (G-Wanna toss the ball? B-I bet I can toss the ball higher than you! G-You must not like me… B-What happened?) Rachel Simmons - Odd Girl Out Response to danger. Boys choose “fight or flight.” Girls choose “tend and befriend.” Males see aggression as a way to control their world, females see aggression as an end to relationships. Mary Pipher - Reviving Ophelia Boys see their failure in terms of external factors and see their success in terms of their ability. Girls see their success in terms of luck and hard work and see their failure in terms of lack of ability. Power Dead Even - women/girls will do anything to bring down another woman/girl to their level
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Cannot attribute all to gender differences. Gender bias plays a huge role. We socialize kids into these behaviors. What happens when boys display behavior on left? “Boys will be boys…” What happens when girls display behavior on right? “Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice!” What happens when gender behaviors don’t match gender expectations? Boys are pushed into sports, fights, getting dirty, building things, scientific investigation by adults and pushed down by peers with words like “Sissy, girl, pussy, fag.” Girls are told to play nice, share, be ladylike, punished harsher for fighting,complimented on looks by adults and put down by peers with words like “butch, jock, bitch, dyke.” Rachel Simmons - Odd Girl Out Ideal girl according to girls = very thin, pretty, blonde, fake, stupid, tall, blue eyes, big boobs, fit, expensive clothes, un-proportional, naked, trendy, popular, boyfriends, smiling, happy, helpless, talking on the phone, superficial conflicts, looks older, girlie, dependent, impractical clothes, manipulative, sex = power, rich, good teeth/clear skin, smart, perfect, romantically attached with someone with status. Anti-girl according to girls = mean, ugly, excessively cheerful, athletic, brainy, opinionated, pushy, dark features, not skinny, imperfections, promiscuous, professional, insecure, dorky, depressed/unhappy, masculine, serious, strong, independent, gay/lesbian, artsy, PMSish, unrestrained, egocentric, not social, hard to get along with, bookish.
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee You must be this to be accepted, but you cannot be too much so, because that is not acceptable. No one knows where the boundaries are, so girls walk very tentatively along this knife ’ s edge. Naomi Wolf (Promiscuities) - Common and natural sexual curiosity, infatuation, admiration, and intimacy found among adolescent girls – the building anticipation of those feelings transferring to boys. Simultaneous excitement and sadness about the loss of intimacy among girls, which is inevitable./Continuum of women ’ s sexuality. Beyond a certain point of sexual power and liberation, she is deserving of violence and dehumanization. She can be cast out and killed both physically and emotionally./The acceptable promiscuity of white middle class sub-urban sexuality – it happens, but it happens quietly, out of sight, and outside of mainstream public face, which is pristine, neat, and “ nice. ” Those who fall outside of these norms are called “ sluts. ” Magic, Supernatural Power - obsession with Ouija Boards, witchcraft, cults. Perhaps meaning of the universe can be found in these magical charms, spells, and spirits. Tolkien novels, Lloyd Alexander novels, Harry Potter series. These all deal with young people, common people, discovering the existence of ACTUAL power and learning to wield it wisely through trials and tribulations. Kids sense that they are living mundane lives without personal power, but they have a sneaking suspicion that they are unique in the universe and have great power, if only “life” would happen. Adoptees become obsessed with learning about “real” parents. Principal - dress code - kids these age need something to resist. I ’d rather give them this simple thing to resist than open up the resistence to bigger, more serious matters. A whole lot of “why”s” - why do I have to do this, why do you always, why not, etc… Joanne Deak - “ I think that the only reason we teenagers rely so much on what our friends say is because we are testing what our parents taught us, to make sure it was right. ” – Elizabeth, 17. Resiliency and Vibrancy - Stuck between not supporting our girls through emotional and/or social landmines and treating them so tenderly a la Nation of Wimps. Very few girls retain resiliency and vibrancy. You can tell who has retained vs regained her vibrancy.
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee You seek relationships. You seek acceptance. You seek stability and reassurance. You want independence from adults. You seek personal power. You seek meaning and direction in your life. You experience conflict (as anyone is wont to do). You know girls who fight are supposed to be catty bitches. You know that good, nice, pretty girls are supposed to have friends. You know that friends are supposed to like you. You know that your value lies in your “niceness.” You also know that nice girls become girlfriends. Loud girls become friends who are girls. You are supposed to be attractive and desirable as a girlfriend. What do you do?
- 1. Stereotype - A preconceived or oversimplified generalization about an entire group of people without regard for their individual differences. While often negative, stereotypes may also be complimentary. Even positive stereotypes can have a negative impact however, simply because they are broad generalizations. The stereotypes we hold form the basis of our prejudices. 2. Prejudice - A conscious or unconscious negative belief about a whole group of people and its individual members. When the person holding the prejudice also has and uses the power to deny opportunities, resources or access to a person because of their group membership, there is discrimination. 3. Discrimination - Prejudice plus the power. Discrimination can take many forms, including racism, sexism, heterosexism, ableism, ageism, etc. Many acts of discrimination build up over time, perpetuated against one relatively less powerful social group by a more powerful social group, lead to a group of people being in a state of oppression. 4. Oppression - The systematic subjugation of a group of people by another group of people with access to social power, the result of which benefits one group over the other and is maintained by social beliefs and practices. Because oppression is institutionalized in our society, target group members often believe the messages and internalize the oppression. 5. Internalized Oppression - The "buying into" the elements of oppression by the target group. When target group members believe the stereotypes they are taught about themselves, they tend to act them out and thus perpetuate the stereotypes which reinforces the prejudice and keeps the cycle going.
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Alternative aggression defines any behavior that expresses anger in ways other than direct words or physical aggression. It has been happening for years among girls, but only recently has the literature come more into the mainstream with books like Odd Girl Out and Queen Bees and Wannabes and movies like Mean Girls.
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
- More than 20% of teens have sex before the age of 14.
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
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- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
- 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Final Tidbits: -teach first and refer to later. We have a tendency to see it happen & react with education. -there are times and places for interventions. What is important is that SOMETHING is done in the moment, and that there is ALWAYS follow-up -don ’t let girls get away with a quick “sorry.” they know how to please adults. Get authentic conversation out of them. -practice, practice, practice. The more clever, poignant, and effective language comes out on the third try :-)
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
- Gender, Bias, and Aggression 01/18/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee