Learn how we co-author peers' identity as well as our own, how the cycle of oppression and cycle of bullying pressure us to reinforce stereotypes, and what we can do as allies to break these cycles and work toward inclusion of all.

1. Brighton School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Bystander to Ally:
Changing Yourself to Change the World
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2. About Seattle Girls’ School
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3. Dimensions of Identity and Culture
This model of identifiers and culture was created by Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman for NAIS Summer Diversity Institute,
adapted from Loden and Rosener’s Workforce America! (1991) and from Diverse Teams at Work, Gardenswartz & Rowe (SHRM 2003).
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4. About Seattle Girls’ School
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Who’s on the Inside and Outside?
 Who in our society are the heroes and heroines –
successful and beautiful people we admire and want to
grow up to be like?
 Who in our society are the outsiders – people who are
laughed at, portrayed as villains and less-than-
desirable people?

5. Repeating Cycles –
Agents, Targets,
Bystanders, Allies
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7. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

8. Exercise:
Have You Heard?
Put-Downs and Isms
 Please work in small groups.
 What names or phrases have you
heard youth use to hurt or exclude
each other?
 How are societal isms are at the root
of these comments?
 Any thoughts or insights?
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9. Put Downs and Isms
“That’s so gay!” ----- heterosexism
“You’re so ghetto.” ----- classism and racism
“That’s retarded.” ----- abelism
“Don’t be such a b**ch.” ----- sexism
“Your name’s weird.” ----- ethnocentrism
“Sissy” ----- sexism, heterosexism
“Trailer trash!” ----- classism and racism
“Did you forget to take your meds?” ---- ableism
“You look like a terrorist” ---- ethnocentrism and religiocentrism
“That’s so lame.” ----- abelism
“Your food stinks!” ----- ethnocentrism
“Crybaby!” ----- adultism and sexism
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10. Going Beyond Put-Downs
 Relational Aggression
 Indirect Aggression
 Social Aggression
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11. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Relational Aggression includes acts that
“harm others through damage (or the threat of
damage) to relationships or feelings of
acceptance, friendship, or group inclusion.”
Relational Aggression

12. Indirect Aggression
Indirect Aggression allows the perpetrator to
avoid confronting the target directly, making
it seem as though there is no intent to harm.
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13. Social Aggression
Social Aggression is intended to damage self
esteem or social status within a group.
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14. Process Break
How do you see disrespect,
exclusion, and bullying play
out at your school through
alternative aggression?
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15. Definition of Conflict
 A clash between two
individuals or groups
 A disagreement or
argument about
something important
 A natural, normal part
of life
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16. When It’s Bullying
 Uneven Power
 Harm Intended
 Repetition
 Efforts to hide from
adults
 Advocacy not changing
behaviors
 NOT natural or normal
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17. Becoming the Adults
We Want to Be
Adolescent Brain Development
Peer Pressure
Backstage and Frontstage Spaces
Path of Least Resistance
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18. An Ally Is…
“a person who is a member of the dominant or
majority group who works to end oppression in
his or her personal and professional life
through support of, and as an advocate with
and for, the oppressed population”
Washington and Evans, Becoming an Ally
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19. An Ally Is…
“Someone who doesn’t have to stand up for
someone else, who might even lose something
if they do, but they do it anyway because they
know it’s the right thing to do”
Anna, 6th Grader
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20. Bystander to Ally
Karen Bradberry, PhD
Active Passive Passive Active
Agent Bystander Ally
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21. Ally Skills
 Don’t exclude, hurt, or bully
 Speak up when someone else is being bullied
 Assume positive intentions, but don’t let that
assumption make you silent
 Ask questions to clarify and to educate
 Don’t make the person who is bullying into
someone who is getting targeted
 Actively include those who are easily left out
 If you know someone is getting bullied, tell an
adult at school or at home
 Keep the climate healthy
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22. Relationship Based Interruption
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23. I change myself,
I change the world.
-Gloria Anzaldua
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24. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
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Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

25. Identity Resources
• Carlos H. Arce, “A Reconsideration of Chicano Culture
and Identity”
• Atkinson, Morten, & Sue, “Racial/Cultural Identity
Development Model (R/CID)”
• Mindy Bingham and Sandy Stryker, “Socioemotional
Development for Girls”
• Vivienne Cass, “Homosexual identity formation: Testing
a theoretical model”
• William Cross, Shades of Black: Diversity in African
American Identity”
• Anthony D’Augelli, “ Identity development and sexual
orientation: Toward a model of lesbian, gay, and
bisexual development”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

26. Identity Resources
• Erik Erikson, “Eight Stages of Man”
• J. E. Helms, Various Publications on Racial and Ethnic
Identity Development
• Jean Kim, “Processes of Asian American Identity
Development”
• James Maricia, “Four Ego and Identity Statuses”
• Suzanne Kobasa Ouellette, “The Three C’s of
Hardiness”
• Jean S. Phinney, “Ethnic Identity in Adolescents and
Adults: Review of the Research”
• Ponterotto & Pederso, Preventing Prejudice
• Maria P. P. Root, Various Works on Multiracial Identity
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27. Identity Resources
• Patricia Romney, Karlene Ferron, and Jennifer Hill,
“Measuring the Success of Diversity Directors in
Independent Schools”
• Pedro Ruiz, “Latino/a Identity Development Model”
• Chalmer E. Thompson and Robert T. Carter, Racial
Identity Theory
• Alex Wilson, “How We Find Ourselves: Identity
Development and Two Spirit People”
• Christine J. Yeh, “The Collectivistic Nature of Identity
Development Among Asian-American College
Students”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

28. Miscellaneous Resources
• Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman, “Privilege and
Power,” Summer Diversity Institute, National Association
of Independent Schools, 2009
• Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, Nurture Shock
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education
Network) www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference
• Johnnie McKinley, “Leveling the Playing Field and Raising
African American Students’ Achievement in Twenty-nine
Urban Classrooms,” New Horizons for Learning,
http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/differentiated/
mckinley.htm
Michael J Nakkula and Eric Toshalis, Understanding Youth.
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