Folk wisdom tells us young children don't notice differences or have any biases, yet research is telling us otherwise. What are age appropriate ways to develop intentionally inclusive and identity conscious children?

1. The Caedmon School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Talking to Kids
About Identity, Difference, and Justice
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2. About Seattle Girls’ School
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3. Agenda
 Developmental Timeline
 Before You Talk
 While You Are Talking
 After You Talk
 Questions and Answers
 Resources
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4. Introductions
Warm-Up Questions
Please introduce yourself, your child, and your child’s
grade. What brought you to the session today? What
tools would you like to get out of our time together?
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5. Early Awareness of Difference
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Age Signs
6 months Can discern racial feature differences
3 years Awareness of own and others’ gender.
Beginning awareness of gender roles
5 years Desire to categorize – self, others
Curiosity about meaning of differences
Aware of biases
7 years Can regulate biases versus behaviors
Starting to parrot adult messages
3rd grade Are aware of societal stereotypes
cross group play can increase
5th grade Have internalized stereotypical messages
cross group play can decrease

6. Before You Talk
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 Study up on other parents having
conversations
 Use people, outings, media, etc.
 Identify and clarify where you stand
 Initial verbiage
 Brainstorm follow-up questions
 Practice with others

7. While You Are Talking
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 Find out what they’re actually asking/saying
 Find out why they’re asking/saying
 Respond straightforwardly
 Be mindful of emotion
 Be explicit about where you stand
 Model and coach humility, delight, and
curiosity about difference
 “Great question” “What do you think?”
“You’re thinking about that, huh?” and “Let
me think about it some more”

8. After You Talk
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 Go back to earlier
 Double-check their understanding
 Re-establish and clarify if needed
 Reconciling disagreements and other
messages
 Follow-up with alternate message givers

9. Practice Makes
Less Heart-Attack-Inducing
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10. Example Statements
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 “Boys are annoying!”
 “Why is she a different color than me?”
 Her lunch smelled real bad.
 “Why doesn’t he have a daddy?’
 How come we don’t go away on vacations
like everyone else?
 “How come no one looks like me?”
 “Why does he talk so funny?”
 Her house was so small.

11. Taking it Home
 What did you learn today
that was new, helpful, or
thought provoking?
 What are some goals or
strategies you would like to
apply with your children?
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12. Questions and Comments
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13. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)