Much has been written about the challenges of adolescence. It’s a time of transition and vulnerability when children change biologically, emotionally, cognitively and socially. Learn with other parents how to support your child as they grapple with these changes.

1. The Children’s School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Supporting Your Child Into Adolescence
A Workshop for Parents, Guardians, and Supporters
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

2. About Seattle Girls’ School
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3. Agenda
• Changing Child, Changing
Relationship
• Socioemotional Development
• Identity Development
• Adolescence
• Resources
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4. Disclaimers and
Other Food for Thought
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5. Changing Child,
Changing Relationship
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

6. Social Development
Joanne Deak
• Self Awareness (0-2)
• Parallel Play (2-3)
• Interactive Play (3-6)
• Transitory Friendships (6-8)
• Friendship Clusters (8-10)
• Best Friends or Generalists (10-12)
• Cliques (12-14)
• Interest-Based Friendship Groups (14+)
• (Almost) Universal Acceptance (Seniors)
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

7. Dimensions of Identity and Culture
This model of identifiers and culture was created by Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman for NAIS Summer Diversity Institute,
adapted from Loden and Rosener’s Workforce America! (1991) and from Diverse Teams at Work, Gardenswartz & Rowe (SHRM 2003).
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

8. • Innocence and Self Esteem
• Encounter and Self Doubt
• Assimilation to the Majority
• Immersion into Identity
• Emersion
• Integration
Identity Development:
Marginalized Identities
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

9. • Innocence and Self Esteem
• Encounter and Confusion
• Attempt to Reintegrate
• Re-Encounter and Guilt
• Acceptance and Action
• Immersion and Emersion
• Integration
Identity Development:
Privileged Identities
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

10. Developmental Characteristics of
Adolescence
• Identity Formation
• Tenuous Sense of Self
• Self-Regulation
• Imaginary Audience
• Development of Self-Esteem
• Adolescent Egocentricism
• Importance of Peer Relationships
• Formation of Groups, Crowds and Cliques
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

11. Adolescent Behaviors:
Through the Lens of Autonomy
• Risk Taking
• Lies
• Boredom
• Influence of Peers
• Adolescent Decision
Making
• Arguing with
Authority
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

12. Living Out Loud
• Talk about your day and
show interest in theirs
• Talk positively and
realistically about yourself
• Make mistakes out loud
• Tell your stories
• Emote out loud
• Reason out loud
• Make your values clear
• Walk your talk
• Listen, listen, listen
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

13. Respecting Them
• Involve them in decision-making
• Explain the “why”
• Recognize their developing
capacity
• Recognize that, even at 17, their
decision-making may be different
than “mature” decision-making
• Recognize situations that
influence rational decision-making
• Limits are necessary
• Some autonomy is necessary
• Help them reason through
decisions
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

14. Entering the Middle Years
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15. Questions and Answers
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16. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

17. Resources
• Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement & Narrowing the Gap,”
Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003
• Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social
Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion
• Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers,
http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf
• “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District,
http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network)
www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.
• Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org,
http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on theory of mind
and power.
• Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of
Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine,
http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430
7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

18. Resources
• Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social
Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion
• Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers,
http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf
• “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District,
http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network)
www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.
• Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org,
http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on theory of mind
and power.
• Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of
Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine,
http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430
7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

19. Gender Specific Resources
• JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and
Courageous Daughters, How Girls Thrive
• Pooja Makhijani, Under Her Skin: How Girls Experience Race in America.
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on early gender
differences in competition and play and “Love Lab.”
• Northwest Girls Coalition, Protective Factors for Middle School Girls -
What can Parents Do?
• Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent
Girls
• Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out, Curse of the Good
Girl
• Harriet R. Tenenbaum, “Gender Achievement Motivation,” Learning and
the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003.
• Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter
Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence,
Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads
• Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth.
• Naomi Wolf, Promiscuities.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)