DSST Stapleton Gendered Ways We Fight
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What is the difference between everyday conflict and bullying? What ways are boys and girls taught to experience and express aggression differently? How do identifiers like sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, ability, and socioeconomic status affect aggression? Learn about different types of aggression and practical tools in responding to conflicts and bullying.
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DSST Stapleton Gendered Ways We Fight
- 1. DSST Stapleton Middle School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Seattle Girls’ School Battle Within the Sexes: Gendered Ways We Fight Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 2. About Seattle Girls’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 3. Agenda • Disclaimers • Conflict versus Bullying • Gender Bias • Gendered Ways We Fight • A Different Way • Questions Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 4. Disclaimers and Other Food for Thought Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 5. Definition of Conflict • A clash between two individuals or groups • A disagreement or argument about something important • A natural, normal part of life Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 6. When It’s Bullying • Uneven Power • Harm Intended • Repetition • Efforts to hide from adults • Advocacy not changing behaviors • NOT natural or normal Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 7. Brash Troublemaker Strong Competitive Physical Silent Clever Mistake-Prone Belligerent Intuitive Well-Behaved Delicate Cooperative Emotional Verbal Pretty Perfect Nice Gender Bias Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 8. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 9. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 10. Direct Aggression • Direct, Angry Words • Physical Fights Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 11. Alternative Aggression • Relational Aggression • Indirect Aggression • Social Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 12. Relational Aggression is when your words/actions hurt relationships (or threaten to hurt relationships) or make someone feel not included or accepted. Relational Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 13. Indirect Aggression is when your words/actions hurt someone and but you deny it somehow. Indirect Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 14. Social Aggression Social Aggression is when your words/actions make someone feel bad about themselves or feel like they’re less popular in a group. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 15. Gender, Bias, and Bullying • Source of Power • Worst Labels • Who Bullies? • Who is Bullied? • Social Collective • Abuse and Aggression • Outliers of Victims • Signs of Cry Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 16. Unhealthy Conflict and Bullying Hurts Everyone • Folks Who Are Targeted • Folks who Engage in Targeting • Folks Who Stand By Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 17. What CAN You Do? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 18. D.E.A.R. Self Advocacy Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 19. D.E.A.R. Self Advocacy • Describe – Describe actions or words without judgment. • Explain – Explain the impact of those actions or words. • Affirm – Affirm the person or relationship. Assume positive intent. • Request – Request different actions, request an apology, etc. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 20. V.O.M.P. Conflict Tool Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 21. V.O.M.P. Conflict Tool • Voice – Each person has the opportunity to VOICE their feelings and experience of the conflict using “I” statements. The other person LISTENS before sharing their experience. • Own – Each person takes ownership of their piece in the conflict. “Here’s my contribution to the mess.” • Mile – Each person “walks a mile” in the other person’s shoes and tries to see the conflict from the other person’s perspective. • Plan – Both people work together to make a plan for moving forward. What can we do so this doesn’t happen again? What will we do differently next time? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 22. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) Words of Caution • Pushing Behavior • Outside Feelings vs Inside Feelings • Threatening with Relationships • No Joke Zone
- 23. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) Apologizing and Accepting Apologies • Apologize for Real • Accept for Real • Don’t Accept Until You’re Ready • Move On Once You Accept
- 24. When It’s Bullying… Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 25. Are You Often Targeted?Don’t Go At It Alone • Know it’s not right • You deserve better • Ask/Tell them to stop the behavior • Seek healthy support • Tell an adult Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 26. Are You Often Targeting? Don’t Go At It Alone • Know it’s not right • You are better than that • Stop the behavior • Seek healthy support • Tell an adult Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 27. Bystander to Upstander • Speak up when someone else is being bullied • Assume positive intentions, but don’t let that assumption make you silent • Ask questions • Don’t make the person who is bullying into someone who is getting targeted • Actively include those who are easily left out • If you know someone is getting bullied, tell an adult at school or at home • Keep the climate healthy Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 28. Not Taking it Digital • No Digital Conflicts! • The Face Test – would you say it to their face? • The Headline Test – would you want it broadcast? • The Digital Self – are you the same person online? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 29. Questions and Comments Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 30. Inclusive Communities Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 31. Presenter Information Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee 6th Faculty and Professional Outreach Seattle Girls’ School 2706 S Jackson Street Seattle WA 98144 (206) 805-6562 rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org http://tiny.cc/rosettalee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)