Odd Girls Out. Queen Bees. Girl Bullying.
Examine the cross-section of socio-emotional development, gender bias, and adolescence in the emergence of the “Mean Girl” phenomenon. What can we do to promote healthy relationship among girls and women?
1. Hockaday School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Sugar and Spice but Not Always Nice:
Gender, Bias, and Aggression
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
2. Agenda
• Gender Differences
• Gender Bias
• Alternative Aggression
• What Can We Do?
• Discussions
• Resources
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
8. Social Development
Joanne Deak, Girls Will Be Girls
• Self Awareness (0-2)
• Parallel Play (2-3)
• Interactive Play (3-6)
• Transitory Friendships (6-8)
• Friendship Clusters (8-10)
• Best Friends or Generalists (10-12)
• Cliques (12-14)
• Interest-Based Friendship Groups (14+)
• (Almost) Universal Acceptance (Seniors)
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
9. Special Considerations
Sexy --- Slutty
Powerful --- Aggressive
Smart --- Bookish
Cheerful --- Uncool
Confident --- “All That”
Athletic --- Jocky
Close to Friends --- Lesbian
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10. Process Break
What’s new, interesting, thought provoking
about the landscape of social development
and gender norms/expectations? What
have you noticed in your own experience?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
13. Relational Aggression includes acts that
“harm others through damage (or the
threat of damage) to relationships or
feelings of acceptance, friendship, or
group inclusion.”
Relational Aggression
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
14. Indirect Aggression allows the
perpetrator to avoid confronting the
target directly, making it seem as
though there is no intent to harm.
Indirect Aggression
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
15. Social Aggression
Social Aggression is intended
to damage self esteem or social
status within a group.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
17. When It’s Conflict
• A clash between two
individuals or groups
• A disagreement or
argument about
something important
• Etc.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
18. When It’s Bullying
• Power is uneven
• Intent to harm
• Repeated and
sustained
• Efforts to hide from
adults
• Advocacy not
changing behaviors
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
19. Process Break
How have you seen alternative aggression
play out in your lives?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
21. D.E.A.R. Self Advocacy
• Describe – Describe actions or words without
judgment.
• Explain – Explain the impact of those actions or
words.
• Affirm – Affirm the person or relationship. Assume
positive intent.
• Request – Request different actions, request an
apology, etc.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
23. V.O.M.P. Conflict Tool
• Voice – Each person has the opportunity to VOICE their feelings
and experience of the conflict using “I” statements. The other person
LISTENS before sharing their experience.
• Own – Each person takes ownership of their piece in the conflict.
“Here’s my contribution to the mess.”
• Mile – Each person “walks a mile” in the other person’s shoes
and tries to see the conflict from the other person’s perspective.
• Plan – Both people work together to make a plan for moving
forward. What can we do so this doesn’t happen again? What will we
do differently next time?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
24. Ally Skills
• Don’t engage in bullying behaviors
• Assume positive intentions, but don’t let that
assumption make you silent
• Ask questions to clarify and to educate
• Don’t make the person who is bullying into
someone who is getting targeted
• Actively include those who are easily left out
• If you know someone is getting bullied, tell an
adult at school or at home
• Keep the climate healthy
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
27. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
28. Resources
• Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement & Narrowing the Gap,”
Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003
• Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social
Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion
• Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers,
http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf
• “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District,
http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network)
www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.
• Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org,
http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on theory of mind
and power.
• Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of
Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine,
http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430
7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
29. Resources
• Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social
Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion
• Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers,
http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf
• “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District,
http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network)
www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.
• Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org,
http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on theory of mind
and power.
• Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of
Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine,
http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430
7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
30. Gender Specific Resources
• JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and
Courageous Daughters, How Girls Thrive
• Pooja Makhijani, Under Her Skin: How Girls Experience Race in America.
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on early gender
differences in competition and play and “Love Lab.”
• Northwest Girls Coalition, Protective Factors for Middle School Girls -
What can Parents Do?
• Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent
Girls
• Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out, Curse of the Good
Girl
• Harriet R. Tenenbaum, “Gender Achievement Motivation,” Learning and
the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003.
• Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter
Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence,
Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads
• Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth.
• Naomi Wolf, Promiscuities.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)