Lake Forest Park Elementary Conflict and Bullying
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With the heightened awareness of bullying in today's world, it's hard to know how to support our children. What is the difference between everyday conflict and bullying? How do boys and girls experience aggression differently? How do identifiers like sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, ability, and socioeconomic status affect aggression? Learn about different types of aggression and practical tools in responding to conflicts and bullying.
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Lake Forest Park Elementary Conflict and Bullying
- 1. Lake Forest Park Elementary School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Seattle Girls’ School Beyond Sticks and Stones: Helping Youth Navigate Conflict and Bullying Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 2. About Seattle Girls’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 3. Agenda • Conflict versus Bullying • Gender, Bias, Conflict, and Bullying • Alternative Aggression • What Can We Do? • Questions • Resources Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 4. Definition of Conflict • A clash between two individuals or groups • A disagreement or argument about something important • Etc. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 5. When It’s Bullying • Power is uneven • Intent to harm • Repeated and sustained • Efforts to hide from adults • Advocacy not changing behaviors Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 6. Types of Bullying Behavior: and common characteristics of their perpetrators • Traditional Bullying • Clueless Bullying • Bully-Victim Alternation • Popular Bullying • Being a “Facebook Thug” The agent generally has less empathy, patience, caring, and forgiveness for others. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 7. Common Characteristics or Behaviors of Youth Who Are Bullied • They are more sensitive, unhappy, cautious, anxious, quiet and withdrawn than other youth. • They are generally insecure and non-assertive, and react by withdrawing when targeted by other students (rather than retaliating or asserting). • They exhibit sudden change in behaviors: showing signs of depression, not eating, cutting, letting themselves go, losing interest in favorite things, quitting teams, etc. • They may be embarrassed to admit being bullied. They may blame themselves or feel guilty. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 8. Gender Differences Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 9. Brash Troublemaker Strong Competitive Physical Silent Clever Mistake-Prone Belligerent Intuitive Well-Behaved Delicate Cooperative Emotional Verbal Pretty Perfect Nice Gender Bias Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 10. Gender, Bias, Conflict, and Bullying • Source of Power • Worst Labels • Who Bullies? • Who is Bullied? • Social Collective • Abuse and Aggression • Outliers of Victims • Signs of Cry Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 11. Alternative Aggression • Relational Aggression • Indirect Aggression • Social Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 12. Relational Aggression includes acts that “harm others through damage (or the threat of damage) to relationships or feelings of acceptance, friendship, or group inclusion.” Relational Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 13. Indirect Aggression allows the perpetrator to avoid confronting the target directly, making it seem as though there is no intent to harm. Indirect Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 14. Social Aggression Social Aggression is intended to damage self esteem or social status within a group. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 15. Process Break How are your children experiencing conflict and bullying? What are the greatest pressures facing them? What have you tried so far to teach them about conflict and bullying? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 16. So What? Now What? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 17. Distinguish Conflict and Bullying Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 18. When It’s Conflict… Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 19. D.E.A.R. Conflict Resolution Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 20. AIMS Conflict Problem Solving Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 21. When It’s Bullying… Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 22. Bullying Intervention • Know when it is bullying • Stand up for yourself • Ask them to stop the behavior • Seek healthy support • Tell an adult Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 23. Empowering the Bystander Many bullying programs center around agents and targets. Why not address the 60-70% who are bystanders? • Keeps the focus away from blaming the targets or agents. • Cover backstage spaces where only kids are allowed. • Create a mass of empowered allies and shift the balance of power • Create a new path of least resistance. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 24. Ally Skills • Don’t bully • Speak up when someone else is being bullied • Assume positive intentions, but don’t let that assumption make you silent • Ask questions to clarify and to educate • Don’t make the person who is bullying into someone who is getting targeted • Actively include those who are easily left out • If you know someone is getting bullied, tell an adult at school or at home • Keep the climate healthy Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 25. Teach Digital Citizenship • No Digital Conflicts! • The Face Test – would you say it to their face? • The Headline Test – would you want it broadcast? • The Digital Self – are you the same person online? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 26. Undoing Systemic Problems Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 27. Questions and Comments Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 28. Resources • Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement & Narrowing the Gap,” Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003 • Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion • Emily Bazelon, Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy. • “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District, http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf • Joe Feagin, “The Two Faced Racism.” White Privilege Conference. Springfield, MA. April 2008. • Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network) www.glsen.org • Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference. • Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org, http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html • Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine, http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430 7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 29. Gender Specific Resources • The Boy Game, short film and interactive website. • JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous Daughters • Jackson Katz, Tough Guise • Pooja Makhijani, Under Her Skin: How Girls Experience Race in America. • John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on early gender differences in competition and play and “Love Lab.” • Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls • Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out. • Michael Thompson, Raising Cain. • Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence • Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth, Promiscuities. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 30. More Resources • “101 Ways to Combat Prejudice.” Anti-Defamation League http://www.adl.org/prejudice/default.asp • Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers, http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf • Hafner, Lauren. “Bullying Report: How are Washington State Schools Doing?” Safe Schools Coalition. December 2003 http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/bullyreport/bullyreport12- 03.html • “House Bill Report - SHB 1444, Washington State” Bully Police USA http://www.bullypolice.org/wa_law.html • “Ten Ways to Fight Hate.” Teaching Tolerance http://www.tolerance.org/10_ways/index.html • “Washington State School Safety Center.” Office of Superintendant of Public Education http://www.k12.wa.us/SafetyCenter/HarassmentBullying/default .aspx Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 31. Presenter Information Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee 6th Faculty and Professional Outreach Seattle Girls’ School 2706 S Jackson Street Seattle WA 98144 (206) 805-6562 rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org http://tiny.cc/rosettalee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)