SGS Supporting Our Girls in the Middle Years
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Puberty, teen-hood, identity search, relationship drama, and self doubt. Becoming a middle school girl can be fraught with challenges at every corner. How do we keep our girls resilient through this turbulent time? Examine the crossroads of socio-emotional and identity development, gender differences and bias, and adolescent brain and body changes that your girls are entering. What does the research say about best practices toward resilience, excellence, healthy relationships, and self esteem—and how does Seattle Girls’ School specifically apply the practices?
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SGS Supporting Our Girls in the Middle Years
- 1. Seattle Girls’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Supporting Our Girls in the Middle Years A Workshop for Parents, Guardians, and Supporters Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 2. About Seattle Girls’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 3. Agenda • Gender Differences and Bias • Socioemotional and Identity Development • Adolescence and the Brain • Resources Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 4. Disclaimers and Other Food for Thought Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 5. Gender Differences Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 6. Brash Troublemaker Strong Competitive Physical Silent Clever Mistake-Prone Belligerent Intuitive Well-Behaved Delicate Cooperative Emotional Verbal Pretty Perfect Nice Gender Bias Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 7. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 8. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 9. Girls and Gender Bias Where Does it Lead? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 10. Beauty Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) The “Pretty Girl” on Beauty
- 11. Walking a Thin Line of “Good Girl” Sexy --- Slutty Powerful --- Mean Smart --- Bookish Cheerful --- Uncool Confident --- “All That” Athletic --- Jocky Close to Friends --- Gay Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 12. The “Good Girl” in Conflict Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 13. Alternative Aggression • Relational Aggression • Indirect Aggression • Social Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 14. Friends and Frienemies Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 15. How Does it Show Up? How do gender differences and gender bias affect your children? What is new, interesting, thought provoking, etc. about what you have heard so far? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 16. Social Development Joanne Deak, Girls Will Be Girls • Self Awareness (0-2) • Parallel Play (2-3) • Interactive Play (3-6) • Transitory Friendships (6-8) • Friendship Clusters (8-10) • Best Friends or Generalists (10-12) • Cliques (12-14) • Interest-Based Friendship Groups (14+) • (Almost) Universal Acceptance (Seniors) Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 17. Dimensions of Identity and Culture This model of identifiers and culture was created by Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman for NAIS Summer Diversity Institute, adapted from Loden and Rosener’s Workforce America! (1991) and from Diverse Teams at Work, Gardenswartz & Rowe (SHRM 2003). Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 18. • Innocence and Self Esteem • Encounter and Self Doubt • Assimilation to the Majority • Immersion into Identity • Emersion • Integration Identity Development: Marginalized Identities Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 19. • Innocence and Self Esteem • Encounter and Confusion • Attempt to Reintegrate • Re-Encounter and Guilt • Acceptance and Action • Immersion and Emersion • Integration Identity Development: Privileged Identities Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 20. How Does it Show Up? Where are your children in their socioemotional and identity development? What is new, interesting, thought provoking, etc. about what you have heard so far? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 21. Changing Child, Changing Relationship Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 22. Developmental Characteristics of Adolescence • Identity Formation • Tenuous Sense of Self • Self-Regulation • Imaginary Audience • Development of Self-Esteem • Adolescent Egocentricism • Importance of Peer Relationships • Formation of Groups, Crowds and Cliques Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 23. Adolescent Behaviors: Through the Lens of Autonomy • Risk Taking • Lies • Boredom • Influence of Peers • Adolescent Decision Making • Arguing with Authority Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 24. How Does it Show Up? What are you most excited and worried about as your children enter adolescence? What is new, interesting, thought provoking, etc. about what you have heard so far? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 25. Living Out Loud • Talk about your day and show interest in theirs • Talk positively and realistically about yourself • Make mistakes out loud • Tell your stories • Emote out loud • Reason out loud • Make your values clear • Walk your talk • Listen, listen, listen Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 26. Respecting Them • Involve them in decision-making • Explain the “why” • Recognize their developing capacity • Recognize that, even at 17, their decision-making may be different than “mature” decision-making • Recognize situations that influence rational decision-making • Limits are necessary • Some autonomy is necessary • Help them reason through decisions Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 27. Entering the Middle Years Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 28. Questions and Answers Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 29. Presenter Information Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee 6th Faculty and Professional Outreach Seattle Girls’ School 2706 S Jackson Street Seattle WA 98144 (206) 805-6562 rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org http://tiny.cc/rosettalee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 30. Resources • Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement & Narrowing the Gap,” Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003 • Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion • Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers, http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf • “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District, http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf • Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network) www.glsen.org • Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference. • Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org, http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html • John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on theory of mind and power. • Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine, http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430 7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 31. Resources • Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion • Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers, http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf • “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District, http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf • Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network) www.glsen.org • Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference. • Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org, http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html • John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on theory of mind and power. • Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine, http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430 7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 32. Gender Specific Resources • JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous Daughters, How Girls Thrive • Pooja Makhijani, Under Her Skin: How Girls Experience Race in America. • John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on early gender differences in competition and play and “Love Lab.” • Northwest Girls Coalition, Protective Factors for Middle School Girls - What can Parents Do? • Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls • Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out, Curse of the Good Girl • Harriet R. Tenenbaum, “Gender Achievement Motivation,” Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003. • Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence, Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads • Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth. • Naomi Wolf, Promiscuities. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 33. Introductions Warm-Up Questions Please introduce yourself, your child, and your child’s grade. What brought you to the session today? What tools would you like to get out of our time together? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)