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Confidence and competence

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Confidence and competence

  1. 1. What is building confidence& competence in your child?
  2. 2. Inter-subjectivity What is it? How can we apply it?
  3. 3. Social referencing  What is it?
  4. 4. Affect Attunement What is it? How can we apply it?
  5. 5. Things we can work on: Praising“Good Job” -Stop and think. Let‟s see how many times you can remember saying “Good Job” to the child. -Excessive praises can lead to children who are highly dependent upon other people‟s praising.
  6. 6. What can we do? Open ended questions. Ask them if they approve. (throw it back at them “engage in a game of socialized catch”)*Mini Dialogue*
  7. 7. Things we can work on: Criticism -”You‟re so messy! You used too many colors andpaint!” -”You‟re so slow! Why can‟t you hurry up? Whyhaven‟t you finished your lunch yet? I can‟t wait here allday.” -”Why can‟t you be more like yourbrother/sister?”
  8. 8. What can we do? Focus on the positive. (Acknowledge any accomplishments made.) Acknowledge that each child is different and do things differently.
  9. 9. Things we can work on: Attitude -Children can easily pick up signals and feed offof your energy/attitude. -The way you see your child is easily picked upby them. (ex: if you see them as incompetent then theywill reflect that.)
  10. 10. What can we do? Parent‟s are human. It is not like every parent decides they want to stress their child out today or “hmm I am going to take my anger out on my child today” or “hmm I am going to hurt my child‟s feelings today” we all make mistakes. What we can do is try our best to recognize those mistakes and learn from them. It is not a day and night process it is something that is going to take awhile. So: Recognize your stressors. Recognize your stress busters. If you come home from a long day at work and you just want to take a nap or take a small break, create some kind of respectful signal or phrase in which you set a time (ex: 30 mins) and the child is understanding of how you feel and use it for the entire family. For example: your family can use a simple phrase such as “I need some „Me Time‟” If you‟re getting to that point in which you start to get angry or anxious, leave the room and go breathe for a little, take 5 minutes to walk outside and admire nature. Then when you‟re calm go back inside and continue. It is important to see the child‟s positive attributes.
  11. 11. Dealing with children‟sstruggle P.A.U.L -Meet your new best friend P.A.U.L P: Patient A: Attentive U: Understanding L: Listening

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