2. What Leads to Friendship and
Attraction?
(1) Proximity
Geographical nearness: functional distance
(how often we interact)
Interaction
Availability
Anticipation of Interaction
Mere exposure
Tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more or
rated more positively after the rater has been
repeatedly exposed to them (e.g. favourite
food)
Exposure without awareness leads to liking
2
3. What Leads to Friendship and
Attraction?
(2) Physical Attractiveness
Attractiveness and dating
Looks are a predictor of how often one dates
(for both men and women)
Looks influence voting
3
4. What Leads to Friendship and
Attraction?
(2) Physical Attractiveness (cont)
The Matching phenomenon
Tendency for men and women to choose as
partners those who are a “good match” in
attractiveness and other traits
Men offer wealth and status, women offer
beauty and youth
4
5. What Leads to Friendship and
Attraction?
(2) Physical Attractiveness (cont)
Physical-attractiveness stereotype
Presumption that physically attractive people
possess other socially desirable traits as well
Influence of fairy stories? (beautiful princesses)
First impressions
Is the “Beautiful is Good” stereotype accurate?
Attractive people are valued and favored, and
so many develop more social self-confidence
Self-fulfilling prophecy
5
6. What Leads to Friendship and
Attraction?
(2) Physical Attractiveness (cont)
Who is attractive?
Whatever people of any given place and
time find attractive
Perfect average
Symmetry
6
7. What Leads to Friendship and
Attraction?
(2) Physical Attractiveness (cont)
Evolution and attraction
Assumption that beauty signals biologically
important information
Health
Youth
Fertility
7
8. What Leads to Friendship and
Attraction?
(2) Physical Attractiveness (cont)
Social comparison
Contrast effect (how attractive is everyone
else)
Attractiveness of those we love
We see likable people as attractive
8
9. What Leads to Friendship and
Attraction?
(3) Similarity versus Complementarity
Do birds of a feather flock together?
Likeness begets liking
We believe that people who are similar to us
have good characters
Dissimilarity breeds dislike
9
10. What Leads to Friendship and
Attraction?
(3) Similarity versus Complementarity (cont)
Do opposites attract?
Complementarity
Popularly supposed tendency, in a relationship
between two people, for each to complete
what is missing in the other
However, research consistently suggests that
people are most likely to be involved with
people they consider to be similar to them
10
11. What Leads to Friendship and
Attraction?
(4) Liking Those Who Like Us
Attribution
Ingratiation
Use of strategies, such as flattery , by which
people seek to gain another’s favor
Self-esteem and attraction
How we feel about ourselves determines how we
feel about our relationships
Gaining another’s esteem
We like those who gradually improve their
opinion of us
11
12. What Leads to Friendship and
Attraction?
(5) Relationship Rewards
Reward theory of attraction
Theory that we like those whose behavior is
rewarding to us or whom we associate with
rewarding events
12
14. What Is Love?
(1) Passionate Love
Emotional, exciting and intense
Expressed physically
Theory of passionate love
Two-factor theory of emotion
Suggests that in a romantic context, arousal from
any source, even painful experiences, can be
steered into passion
Variations in love (culture and gender)
Marriages for love vs arranged marriages
14
15. What Is Love?
(2) Companionate Love
Affection we feel for those with whom our lives are
deeply intertwined
A deep, affectionate attachment
Occurs after passionate love fades
High divorce rates may be linked to the de-
valuing of this kind of love
15
16. What Enables Close
Relationships?
(1) Attachment
Our need to belong is adaptive
Human beings struggle to survive in
isolation, we require support from others
Parents and children
Friends
Spouses or lovers
Common elements in all close relationships:
mutual understanding, giving & receiving
support, valuing and enjoying being with the
loved one
16
17. What Enables Close
Relationships?
(1) Attachment (cont)
17
SECURE ATTACHMENT
Rooted in Trust and marked by
intimacy
PREOCCUPIED ATTACHMENT
Marked by a sense of one’s own
unworthiness and anxiety,
ambivalence and possessiveness
DISMISSIVE ATTACHMENT
Avoidant relationship style
marked by distrust of others
FEARFUL ATTACHMENT
Avoidant relationship style
marked by fear of rejection
Attachment Styles
18. What Enables Close
Relationships?
(2) Equity
Condition in which the outcomes people
receive from a relationship are proportional
to what they contribute to it
Long-term equity
As people observe their partners being self-
giving, their sense of trust grows
Perceived equity and satisfaction
Dissatisfaction occurs as a result of perceived
inequities
18
19. What Enables Close Relationships?
(3) Self-Disclosure
Revealing intimate
aspects of oneself to
others
We disclose to people
that we like
Disclosure reciprocity
Tendency for one
person’s intimacy or self-
disclosure to match that
of a conversational
partner
Appropriate self-
disclosure deepens a
relationship
19
20. How Do Relationships End?
Divorce
Rates varied widely by country
Individualistic cultures have more divorce
than do communal cultures
20
21. How Do Relationships End?
Detachment Process
Longer and more intense relationships have
more intense break-ups
21
PASSIVE ACTIVE
CONSTRUCTIVE Loyalty –
Awaiting
improvement
Voice – seek to
improve
relationship
DESTRUCTIVE Neglect – Ignore
partner
Exit – End the
relationship
