3. Why are we here?
• Understand the roots of anger
• Receive support, ideas and feedback from each
other
• Learn skills to deal with/manage anger
– Therefore improving interpersonal relationships
4. Group Logistics
• RULES: participation, communication, other
expectations of each other.
• PROGRAM METHODS: interactive, smalls groups,
worksheets, discussions.
6. Anger
• A completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion.
However
• Potentially a dangerous emotion, which can tell us a lot
about ourselves.
7. There are lots of words to describe anger.
• What are some of the words you use to express the
range of your angry feelings?
8. “Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But
to be angry with the right person, to the right
degree, at the right time, for the right purpose
and in the right way – that is not easy.”
Aristotle (384-322 BC)
9. ABC’s of Anger
• A : Antecedent or Anger Trigger
– What stimulated the anger response
• B : Behavior
– Reaction provoked by anger
• C : Consequence
– What happened as a result of controlling or not
controlling one’s anger.
10. Triggers of Anger
External
• Specific person (co-workers or supervisor)
• Event (traffic jam, canceled concert or flight, talking
trash about your family, etc)
Internal
• Worrying about personal problems
• Memories of traumatic events
11. Myths About Anger
1. Anger is Inherited
2. Anger automatically leads to aggression
3. People must be aggressive to get what they want
4. Supressing anger is always desirable
14. Physiological and Biological Changes
• “Fight or flight” reaction (a natural, adaptive response to threat):
• Increase in blood pressure and heart rate
• Increase in energy hormones
15. Identifying Anger Cues
• How anger feels:
• Muscles tension
• Accelerated heartbeat
• “Knot” in the stomach or throat
• Changes in breathing
• Trembling or shaking
• Goose bumps
• Flushed face
• Changes in facial expression (eye brows, frowning, nostrils,
etc)
16. Anger is natural
• Anger occurs naturally and cannot be avoided.
• Find control techniques rather than anger
elimination.
17. Exercise
• List three things you might reasonably want to do but
can’t (omit the ridiculous).
• List three things you don’t want to do but have to do
anyway.
• List two things you need.
18. Anger Becomes a Problem When:
• Felt too intensely
• Felt too frequently
• Expressed inappropriately
– Words, gestures, contact.
• Results in negative consequences
– Assault, arrest, losing loved ones, termination from
work/treatment.
• Results in negative self concept
– Guilt, shame, regret.
19. Differences between Anger & Aggression
• Anger = Feeling
• Aggression = Action
• Anger is an emotion. It is ok to be angry.
• Aggression is acting out inappropriately and is
not ok. Learn to check your aggression and
express your anger appropriately.
22. Dealing With My Anger
• Express it
• Suppress it
• Clam yourself
23. ANGER
MANAGEMENT
A systematic method of cognitively recognizing anger
and managing its effects
Anger management does not involve getting rid of all
anger, but using anger to enhance your life.
We can look at the purposes of anger in both positive
and negative light.
24. ANGER
MANAGEMENT
The positive aspects of anger are that you have increased
energy, are able to communicate your feelings, able to
problem solve and can take charge of the situation.
The negative aspects of anger are that you can have
disruption of your thinking, unnecessarily defend
yourself, become aggressive and become known as an
angry person.
25. ANGER
MANAGEMENT
Anger management would be seen then as increasing
the positive aspects or functions of anger and
decreasing the negative functions of anger.
26. Steps to Anger Management
• Identify personal signals of anger
• Identify self-talk techniques
• Learn problem-solving skills
• Learn relaxation skills
– Diaphragmatic breathing, progressive relaxation
27. Anger Management
• Anger Intensifying • Cooling Off Habits
– Yelling – Abdominal Breathing
– Sulking – Count to Ten
– Pouting – Non-Competitive Exercise
– Hitting – Distraction
– Other Violence – Humor
– Competitive Games – Empathy for Other Person
– Accusations
– Arguing
28. Techniques to Avoid
• Raising your voice • Using degrading,
• Yelling insulting, humiliating put
• Saying “I’m the boss” downs
• • Using Sarcasm
Insisting on have the
last word • Bringing up unrelated
• Using tense body events
language • Holding a grudge
• Making comparisons • Nagging
31. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• Skills needed in dealing with your anger:
3. Identify a range of feelings including anger
4. Identify aggressive acts by self and others
5. Identify the potential consequences to self and others from
these aggressive acts
6. Identify self-destructive behavior
7. Identify thoughts prior to aggressive acts
8. Identify internal cues to feelings of anger
9. Develop coping mechanisms for dealing with anger
10. Express anger without loss of control
32. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• Identify a range of • Embarrassment
feelings including • Excitement
anger: • Disappointment
• Jealousy
• Fear
• Helpless
• Sadness
• Left-out
33. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• I am in charge of my own feelings:
1. I own my feelings.
2. It is okay to feel angry.
3. Anger is part of being human.
4. I learn how to express my anger
in helpful ways.
34. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• Identify aggressive • Throw something
• Kick someone or something
acts shown by self • Get in someone’s face
and others: • Shoving, grabbing, hitting
• Break something
• Call someone names
• Give someone a dirty look
• Silent treatment
• Get others to “gang up”
• Spread rumors
35.
36. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• I choose to feel good about myself
through expressing my feelings.
1. I express angry feelings in ways that are
fair to others and me.
2. I use fair words…e.g.
“I feel when you”
37.
38. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• The more I learn to take
care of my anger the
more powerful I become.
1. I need to control what I do with
my anger.
2. I control how I let my anger out.
3. I practice cooling off.
4. I watch my thoughts.
39. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• Identify potential • Physical harm to someone
or self
consequences of • Destruction of property
your anger to • Loss of family/friends
others and • Loss of job
yourself…what can • Loss of social privileges
that mean for you? • Going to jail
• Getting a bad reputation
40. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• Identify self- • Negative self-talk
• Blaming everyone else
destructive • Taking everything
behavior…How personally
does that help or • Assuming
• Overeating, drinking
hurt you?
• Driving recklessly
• Taking drugs
• Looking for fights
• Feeling outraged
41. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• I stop blaming
others and myself.
2. Blaming only keeps
people upset.
3. Blaming is a way of not
respecting people.
4. I express my feelings and
then try to work things
out.
42. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• Identify thoughts prior • You did that on purpose…
to aggressive acts: • You wanted to hurt me…
• You deserve this…
• You never even asked me…
• You’re being unreasonable…
• You think you’re so good…
• I’ll show you…
• You started it…
• There’s no justice…
43. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• Identify internal • Stomach gets tight/upset
• Heart is beating faster
cues to feelings of
• Clenching fists
anger:
• Feel myself getting flushed
• Pressure on my temples
• Sweaty palms
• Clenched jaw
44. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• I don’t have to hold on
to my anger.
2. I find ways to let it go
3. I talk about hurt and angry
feelings.
4. I look for someone to discuss my
anger.
5. I discuss my words and actions
that hurt others.
45. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• Steps to taming anger
2. Know what pushes your buttons.
3. Know your body’s anger signs.
4. Stop and think!
5. Cage your rage…it’s your
choice.
6. Decide what to do.
46. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• I take power.
2. I stand up for myself and
others being hurt.
3. I learn to defeat negative
self-talk.
4. I feel good about learning
about myself.
5. I am strong when I use fair
and firm words instead of
fists.
47. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• I remember that
people are precious.
2. I watch my thoughts, words,
and actions.
3. I stop hurting people with my
words and actions.
4. I take ownership of the
hurtful things I do and say.
5. “Bullying” hurts everyone.
49. The Anger Meter
* Explosion * Loss of Control
10.
* Violence *Negative Consequences
* Aggression * YOU LOSE!
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4. • You have a choice
3.
2. • Anger Control Plan to Avoid “10”
1.
50. Anger Management Plan
• Event: What happened, Degree on Meter
• Cues: Ways it effected me
• Strategies: What can I do?
51. Communication
• Communication Defined- The act of expressing
oneself in such a way that one is readily &
clearly understood.
– Play the telephone game: ( ex: There’s a
meeting that will take about an hour & ½ on Tuesday
about policies & procedures at 3:45pm, in the
conference room on the 3rd flr, of the social sciences
building on campus. Bring supplies to take notes and
$5.50 to chip in for lunch.)
52. Active Listening
• Role Plays
– Practice:
• Using “I” statements: I feel ______ when you
_______ because __________. I want
________________.
– Example: I feel frustrated when you yell because I
think you don’t care about my feelings. I want to
find a better way to resolve things between us.
• Checking in to rephrase/paraphrase
• Avoid Communication blockers such as: name-
calling, criticizing, interrupting, sarcasm, blaming,
yelling.
53. Anger Management
& Developing a Plan (cont.)
• Talk with a supportive friend
• Time out (involves others – “contracts”)
• Exercise
• Explore feelings beneath the anger
• Relaxation Breathing
54. Ideas to Make You Disturbed
• I must be loved by practically every significant
person in my life-and if I’m not, it’s awful!
• I must not make errors or do poorly, and if I do, it’s
terrible.
• People and events should always be the way I want
them to be.
55. Ideas to Help You Function Effectively
• It’s definitely nice to have people’s love and approval –
but even without it, I can still accept and enjoy myself.
• Doing things well is satisfying – but it’s human to
make mistakes.
• People are going to act the way THEY want – not the
way I want.
56. Ways to Keep Cool:
4. Get exercise every day.
5. Eat right.
6. Get enough sleep.
7. Learn to relax.
8. Know your feelings.
9. Write about those feelings.
10. Find a quiet place.
11. Take a time out.
12. Find fun distractions.
13. Make good decisions about what you see and hear.
14. Choose friends who make you feel good.
15. Learn to forgive and forget.
57. Some Other Tips
• Don’t take yourself to seriously. Not every disappointment is a
tragedy.
• Change your environment.
• Timing is important.
• Avoid anger triggers.
• Find alternatives to anger-provoking events
58. ANGER MANAGEMENT- SUMMARY
• Calm down
• Show mutual respect
• Name the problem
• Find solutions
• Choose the best solution
• Congratulate yourself
• Review the solution that was
picked
